I got home in the nick of time.
The weather here is getting a bit crazy.
Kinda pretty though... if you can ignore the crummy road conditions. Looks better from the air though, which I found out as I was flying home yesterday morning...
Happy Friday.
And so... I'm home.
At last.
And my bag is here with me.
No thanks to United Airlines... the fucking assholes.
Never, ever, fly with United.
Much like Janice in Accounting*, United Airlines don't give a fuck.
It all started when I missed a conference call on Monday morning because I had to buy clothes for work. The only time I could reschedule the call was for Thursday, but I would need to be back home because the later date would require access to some design sheets I didn't have with me. No problem, right? I just call United and explain the situation.
Except it ended up being a huge problem, because United wouldn't agree to put me on an earlier flight home. THEY lose my luggage, necessitating all these changes, but it's going to cost ME a $200 change fee plus $450 for the ticket cost difference. I politely explain that it's not my fault the luggage was lost and I shouldn't have to pay anything... but they disagree. Talking to a supervisor gets me a "one time offer" to waive the $200 change fee, but not the $450.
Needless to say, I'm livid.
It costs United nothing to make the situation right and get me home over a situation they cause... there's empty seats... but they don't give a fuck about my situation.
So I regretfully start yelling at the supervisor over United's shitty policy and eventually she finds a flight to get me home in time in an effort to get me to shut the hell up. Which is so damn stupid. Why the fuck can't they do the right thing to begin with? Why does it take somebody screaming at them before they'll reluctantly solve a problem THEY created?
But that was yesterday, surely things will go better today. Right?
Nope. It just gets worse.
As I mentioned, my luggage was lost. I made it to Portland, but my bag did not. So I reported the problem, only to be told that they have no idea if/when my bag would show up. Discouraging, but that's the way it goes. Ironically, I stopped flying United a couple decades ago because they lost my luggage (permanently) twice in six months. Now, the first time flying the airline in years, and they lose my luggage again. Except this time I actually ended up getting it back...
You will never leave my side again, Saltalamacchia!
Anyway...
When I check in for my flight, I naturally tell them I'd like the baggage fee waived since I never got to see my bag the entire time I was here.
They refuse.
Essentially, they blame this on me because I didn't know where I'd be in order for them to have delivered my suitcase yesterday. I explain that this is hardly my fault... that's the way my job works, and not knowing where I'll be is not something I can control... but United don't give a fuck.
Instead they offer me a $25 certificate good for my next flight.
Which I refuse, because I'll never be flying with this piece of shit airline ever again. I mean, first I had to pay $240 for last-minute clothes, now they expect me to pay $25 MORE for clothes I never got to use? Fuck that.
And so I vow to make this the most expensive $25 baggage fee they've ever collected. I will pass up no opportunity to badmouth United Airlines from this day forward. Everybody I run across will come to understand what fucking assholes are running the show at United, and how much I fucking hate the entire United Airlines organization.
Those feelings were doubled when I realized that my bag was not checked all the way home, but terminated in Seattle (despite the guy helping me having said it would be transferred to Alaska Airlines). Which means I paid $25 to get my bag home, and it's not even going to get home. I tied to get that resolved, but the United representative at the gate don't give a fuck either. Essentially, United booked me on a connecting flight home that doesn't exist (the 11:10 doesn't fly on Wednesdays). So I had to politely beg Alaska Airlines to put me on a flight that does exist. But in United's computer, THAT'S the flight that doesn't exist. Never mind that I show them my boarding pass for a flight that obviously exists since I've checked in for it... there's nothing they can do. So I ask if there's somebody I can speak to who CAN do something... only to get an epic eye-roll. She then calls a supervisor and says "I have a customer here demanding that I check his bags onto a flight that doesn't exist..."
"Demanding?" Fuck you. All I did was ask a damn question and show you proof that the flight does exist! I tell her to forget it, that I'll just collect my bag in Seattle and re-check it.
I'd like to say that things get better from there, but they didn't.**
All in all, United provided me one of the worst experiences I have ever had in 25 years of near constant travel. I hate... HATE... the company and everything they stand for. If no other airline can get me where I need to go, I would rather drive through a fucking blizzard than to ever fly United again.
And everybody is going to know it.
*Janice is from This Week Tonight with John Oliver... a show that you should be watching if you haven't been.
**A crappy hotel, another canceled flight, weather delays, winter storm advisory, and a complete douche nearly ramming into my car in the airport parking lot awaited me.
Got out of work around 4am, which was nice. And pretty much on-time. A pleasant change from last time when things ran nearly a day late. I celebrated by sleeping in early, then catching up on work back home.
I decided to spend the night closer to the airport, and headed back to Portland. Partly because I'm familiar with the city and comfortable hanging out there... but mostly because amazing dessert was calling me from the Flatbread Company. In the Summer they have a Maine blueberry cobbler that's to die for. in the Winter it's usually apple cobbler, which is almost as good...
But I'm getting ahead of myself...
Noon. Check out of the Hilton Garden Inn Auburn Riverwatch. Which was a lot weirder than usual. Even though I was specifically told it wasn't. There I was loading the trunk of my rental car in the hotel parking lot when a big black pickup truck comes squealing up beside me. A guy leans out the passenger-side window and is waving a yellow piece of paper. "HEY! HEY! YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO WANT A HOME THEATER AUDIO SYSTEM INSTALLED, WOULD YOU?!?" — "Uhhhh... not unless you want to drive 3000 miles to my house..." — "THIS ISN'T WEIRD... WE'RE HOME AUDIO INSTALLERS!" — "And you're looking for business in a hotel parking lot where people you find probably don't even live in the area?" — "No... we're looking in ALL the parking lots!" — "Um... okay?" — "THIS ISN'T WEIRD! WE'RE INSTALLERS!!!"
12:30pm. Drop by the Home Depot in Topsham to see if they have the towel loop I was shorted when my local Home Depot ran out. And they did! If my luggage goes missing again, at least I'll have something to pack home with me.
1:30pm. Check into my hotel and have housekeeping barge in on me while I'm answering emails. At least I had my pants on this time.
2:30pm. I still have tons of work to catch up on, so I can't really go out... but I'm too hungry to avoid eating. So off I go next door to Micucci's Italian Grocery where they have this amazing slabs of Sicilian pizza I love...
4:30pm. Still full from pizza, but hot apple crisp from Flatbread Company cannot be denied.
Midnight. My new lip balm is Maine blueberry flavored. As a result, the entire room smells like a blueberry muffin exploded. This made me hungry again, so I went to the hotel gift shop to see if they had a snack. I am now eating an entire tub of DIBS ice cream snacks at midnight because it's the only thing they had that sounded good. This is not going to bode well for a good night's sleep... but oh well. What else is new?
1:30am. I write this post then plan on surrendering to sweet slumber. Hopefully.
And... that was pretty much it. This probably sounds like I spent most of my day eating, but almost all of it was spent working.
Sadly, no time for pretty pictures like last time.
Today my work took me to Auburn, Maine. A pleasant city that's about an hour north of Portland and one half of the "twin cities" of Auburn & Lewiston.
As I mentioned yesterday, my hotel of choice in the area is the Hilton Garden Inn Auburn Riverwatch. And the river in question being watched? The Androscoggin River, which divides Auburn and Lewiston.
Or so I would guess.
In the many times I've stayed at the Riverwatch, I've never had a room with a view of the river so I can actually watch it.
But this time I asked at the desk if they could hook me up. Since tourist season is dead, dead, dead this time of year, it wasn't a problem...
Huh.
Not quite the awesome view I was expecting.
I'm guessing that it's a lot more interesting in the Summer.
Anyway... work is a long, drawn out affair that will last well into tomorrow. Lucky for me, I was able to escape for a short dinner break. That isn't always possible, so it's kind of nice when it happens. Must be time for She Doesn't Like Guthries!
Guthries is probably my favorite place to eat in the region, and I have no idea how that's even possible. There is no kitchen. Just a couple panini presses and a small stove behind the bar... and yet they turn out these amazing meals. Their Sweet Potato Burrito is my favorite, but everything I've ever eaten here has been fresh and delicious. Magic?
As if that wasn't enough magic, United called and told me that they found my luggage. Unfortunately, since I have no idea where I'll be tomorrow, I can't tell them where to deliver it. Hopefully I'll be able to swing by the airport and pick it up myself... but I have an extra pair of underwear and socks if it turns out I can't.
My bag being found is a huge load off my mind because one of my favorite shirts in existence is inside. And it's not like I can just order another Jarrod Saltalamacchia Boston Red Sox T-shirt seeing as how he's no longer with the team.
And now... back to work.
Get your travel on, because Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• United? My chosen airline, Alaska Air, can't get me to Portland, Maine. Usually, this is not a problem... I just fly into Boston and spend an hour-and-a-half driving up. But winters in New England can be unpredictably harsh, and I wanted to get as close as I could to my destination. Delta's total flying time was absurdly long and the cost insanely high. United was much more reasonable on both counts, so I decided to go that route... despite having no status with the airline. It was a huge mistake. I haven't been this miserable flying in a long time. And they lost my luggage.
• Seated. The only GOOD thing to happen this flight? There was an empty spot next door, so my OREOs had a seat all their own...
Better than getting crushed in a seat-back pocket, that's for sure.
• Rent. Still don't understand how rental car companies think that giving you any car other than the one you reserved is "an upgrade." It's not. If the car you receive is a completely different size, that's a DOWNgrade. And I don't care if you're not charging me for it... this is still not the car I was expecting.
• Hotel. My favorite lodging chain, hands-down, is W hotels. Amazing properties that are usually out of reach for my budget... but an amazing surprise when I can swing it. If I can't get into the W, I look for another Starwood property I like... Aloft hotels. They're sorta like a budget version of W, and always nice. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of them around. Which means I'm usually compromising. My favorite compromises of the moment? Hilton Garden Inn and Hampton Inn. I've been pleasantly surprised by both chains, and started patronizing them faithfully after "regular" Hiltons took a massive price hike. Right now I'm in the Hilton Garden Inn Portland Jetport, and will be moving to another Garden Inn tomorrow when I reach Auburn. After that, I'm not sure where I'll be... but I am pretty sure of what hotel I'll be staying in. When you travel a lot, that kind of consistency is gold.
• Water. Okay... it's gold most of the time. Perhaps not tonight. The first thing I do after I've tossed my luggage in the shower is to remove my shoes (helpful hint: tossing your luggage on a bed is a potential bedbug hazard that's best avoided). Unfortunately, I didn't notice that the refrigerator was leaking a huge pool of water on the floor, and walked into it with my one pair of socks. Since I have no idea when I'll see my luggage, I'm now stuck with wet socks that have been streaked with brown goo. Good times. Good times.
• Lost. And since I don't have any idea when I'll be getting my bag, tomorrow morning I'll have to rearrange my schedule and head to... THE MALL... =shudder=. Fortunately The Maine Mall has an Eddie Bauer... the only place I seem to be able to consistently find Tall Sizes off the rack. Their clothes are constructed okay, but the styles they have seem to have taken a nose-dive in the past couple years. Hopefully I can find something I'm happy with, because I really don't need any more unhappiness coming my way this trip.
And... back to Maine... and sleep.
On the morning of August 30th, 1997, I was getting ready for a trip to Orlando. I needed some background noise to distract me from a neighbor with a leaf blower, so I turned on the television while I packed my suitcase. The news was breaking that Princess Diana of Wales had been in a car accident in Paris and her status was unknown.
This was both shocking and sad, as I had long been an admirer of Diana. She could have easily just hopped into the role of princess and coasted through a life of luxury... but she did not do that. Instead she used her status and celebrity to do some good in the world. She championed many causes, but I will most remember her as a voice of reason and compassion during the HIV/AIDS epidemic. While most people in the world were shunning AIDS victims and turning a blind eye to the entire crisis... Diana was speaking out, educating people, and advocating for those affected. She visited AIDS patients and made the world see them as people.
I flew into Seattle where every television was covering the accident. Nobody knew how Diana was doing, and the story kept changing. I boarded my flight to Orlando not knowing if she was dead or alive. As this was a time before in-flight internet, I spent the next six hours wondering if she was okay.
Once I had landed in Orlando and checked into my hotel, I immediately turned on the television only to learn that Diana had died.
The next day I was at work when somebody suggested going to Walt Disney World's EPCOT for lunch. It was surprising how much we were all affected by Diana's passing, and it seemed like spending a couple of hours away from it all might be the ticket.
EPCOT, for those not in the know, is a theme park which has something called "World Showcase" where Disney has created microcosm of various places in the world, with pavilions for Mexico, Norway, China, Germany, Italy, the United States, Japan, Morocco, France, United Kingdom and Canada. The idea is that visiting the EPCOT version of a country gives you a taste of what it's like to visit the real country. It's touristy crap, of course... but surprisingly well done and a lot of fun.
After having lunch in Paris, we wandered into the United Kingdom pavilion and saw something surprising.
Flowers.
Loads and loads of flowers, all in tribute to Princess Diana.
It was a recreation of the tons of flowers left at Buckingham Palace in the UK... inside a recreation of the UK.
And that's when it hit me.
To create an air of authenticity, Disney hires people from the actual countries to work at EPCOT's fake countries. Which means all the people working in the UK pavilion were British nationals having to put on smiles and act happy for their guests when their nation was in mourning half a world away.
Far from home, the only countrymen they had to lean on were each other.
Which is why today as I watched the horrific events in Paris unfold, my thoughts were not just with the people of Paris and France... but with the French natives at EPCOT'S France Pavilion. And, by extension, French natives around the world who are abroad as tragedy strikes.
You are far from home, but you are not alone, as the world mourns with you and your beautiful city of Paris...
First Beirut, now Paris. A part of me wonders if the violence which permeates this world will ever end.
I have to believe that it will. It has to.
This world we've built is not sustainable.
It was also my first time seeing a show at the Nob Hill Masonic Center.
Hopefully it won't be my last for either one. Thanks to Jester for inviting me to such a fantastic show...
The venue is right across from Grace Cathedral...
The evening began with an opening set by Holy Child, which I had previously seen live when I was in San Francisco for Betty Who. They were followed by a band I had never heard of before called Saint Motel...
I really, really enjoyed their set. Saint Motel is an amazing live band. Wasn't as impressed with their studio albums, but maybe they'll grow on me.
The main act was Walk The Moon and they were fantastic...
You can get a taste of what they're like live in this video for Different Colors...
They are best known for their hit single Shut Up And Dance...
I was worried that my favorite song off their latest album was skipped, but We Are the Kids came along in the encore...
If you ever have the chance to see Walk The Moon live, it's an opportunity you absolutely should not pass up.
Back to real life.
And so today I flew to San Francisco for one night only to attend a concert with long-time blogging buddy, Jester.
Needing to kill ten hours before the big event, Jester drove us up to Marin County. Believe it or not, the only part of the region I'd ever visited was Sausalito at the bottom-most tip. Everything north of that was a mystery. A MYSTERY IN THE FOG...
Our first stop was a pumpkin patch because Jester wanted to make pie...
Pumpkin measured $12... including tax!
Further up the coast...
And finally we arrived at out destination, Point Reyes and the Point Reyes Lighthouse...
The hundreds of stairs down weren't a big deal... the thousands of stairs back up was agony for an out-of-shape bastard like me...
On the way back, Jester and I saw something odd. A kind of weird machine or something...
A stop at Olema Farm House Restaurant for mac & cheese lunch...
And then... a quick stop at Stinson Beach before heading back to the city...
Where we saw a seagull hauling off a whole crab...
A great day, and the main event hadn't even started.
Get ready to bask in the City of Roses... because a Bullet Sunday from Portland, Oregon starts... now...
• PDX! How many airports do you know that have carpeting so famous that they have a Wikipedia page devoted to it? I have no idea. But if there's a list, Portland International (PDX) would be on it (seriously, here's the Wikipedia page). For years now, you can always count on seeing people photographing themselves standing on it. Like me today...
The pattern apparently represents the intersection of PDX runway lights as seen at night or something. In any event, it's a beautiful design and everybody seems to love it. Which is why the Port of Portland decided to replace it with a new design rather than a reprint of the old design?...
It's a nice enough pattern, I guess, but I don't understand why they didn't replace the worn out carpet with the same design, which didn't really need updating. Especially given how popular it is. A very sad day for PDX fans...
Including me. The next time I fly into Portland, all remnants of the classic PDX carpeting will be gone.
• Hooking! Is it just me, or does this advertisement from Alaska Airlines' inflight magazine look like some guy just hired a very expensive hooker?
Turns out it's an ad for a casino, but wow...
Enjoy your hooker victory, sir.
• Congrats! The reason I flew to Portland today was so I could see two of my long-time blogging friends, Oh Sarah Joy and Iron Fist get married...
Congrats to Sarah and Vahid!
• To Go! And speaking of weddings... this is not a real ad for Tide To-Go Pens, but it should be because it's really clever...
The ad may be fake, but that's the real Miss Yvonne from Pee-Wee's Playhouse!
• SuBullets!
And... my flight will be taking me back home any minute now, so no more bullets for you...
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