My decision to skip sleeping last night was probably the best decision I could have made. A meager three hours would only have only served to put me in a coma for my three-hour-fifteen-minute commute to work. A coma from which even 5-Hour Energy would not let me escape.

As an insomniac, I never get much sleep anyways. But no sleep makes me very stabby indeed...

Driving sleep-free was the least of my worries though.

The reason I always drive to Spokane at night is because driving it in the morning results in about two-and-a-half hours of staring into this...

I-90 runs due-East directly into the rising sun. And on a day like today, it obliterates everything on the road. I really need to get me a sun-shield one day, but until then all I had was some notecards and clothespins hanging from my visor to cut down the glare as much as I could. I also had sunglasses, but they don't really help when it's this bright.

Work was a brisk 50 minutes, at which time I should have turned around and headed back home.

But there was no way I was going to come all this way without having some of the Best Pizza on Earth courtesy of David's Pizza Spokane...

Waiting 25 minutes for them to open was torture, as I was totally falling asleep after finding a spot to park. I ended up setting the alarm on my iPhone to wake me up, which was probably the smartest thing I did all day.

David's Da Vinci pizza was amazeballs as always.

Then it was time for the three-hour-fifteen-minute drive back.

Which was awful, but at least I didn't have to spend the majority of it staring at a giant ball of flames on the horizon.

I stopped to pick up some crap at Costco on the way because I'm stupid that way. Then I drove to work because I'm incredibly stupid that way. Eventually I managed to get home... at which point I passed out for two hours.

Since waking up I've been wandering around in a haze, my mind still in a state of exhaustion from serious lack of sleep.

Which is why I decided it's the perfect time to post an entry to Blogography... this time I have an actually excuse as to why my incoherent ramblings are incoherent and rambling.

This was an awful day in so many ways.

I don't even want to talk about it. Instead, here's a picture of a happy lizard I took while in Australia...

I need a vacation.

And, just like that, my L.A. adventure is over. The flights back were relatively uneventful, so I guess I don't have any complaints.

Well... I do, of course... just not about this trip. So I guess I'll just be sitting here minding my own business...

Originally I had two business meet-ups and a dinner meeting peppered throughout my trip to Los Angeles... plus a birthday party (happy 95th, grandpa!). After landing I ended up with another meeting, which meant I'd be working every day I'm in the city. This was a major bummer, so I arranged to push all my work to Monday (today!) so I could enjoy time with family and friends over the weekend.

Which was a fantastic idea.

Until I woke up this morning and realized I would be dragging my ass from one end of L.A. to the other. Which pretty much means an entire day stuck in traffic between meetings.

But there were bright spots along the way.

I had time to stop at Pink's for a Patt Morrison Baja Vegan Dog, one of my favorite things...

Amazing.

   
After an unexpected side-quest back to my hotel, I was off to Anaheim for one last meeting and a business dinner.

It was at my final meeting that something amazing happened.

We were discussing our impending dinner when somebody said "I'm surprised we're not going to eat at Earl of Sandwich since Dave's in town." I laughed and then broke the news that I don't eat at Earl of Sandwich anymore because they discontinued their veggie sandwich. A colleague then piped up with "Really? I just had one at Disneyland a couple weeks ago."

Uhhhh... come again?

So I look at their online menu and, sure enough, their veggie sandwich is listed. Thinking it surely has to be an outdated menu, I am nevertheless intrigued. This is my favorite sandwich on earth. For years I obsessed over Earl or Sandwich and moved heaven and earth to eat at their restaurants.

With no choice in the matter, I hop in my car and rush to Downtown Disney so I can check it out. As I walk up to the restaurant, I'm starting to hyperventilate...

Sure enough, their veggie sandwich IS back...

And it is just a glorious as it ever was.

So, even though it spoiled my dinner, a tremendous THANK YOU to Earl of Sandwich for bringing back one of my most favorite things to eat. Amazing. Delicious.

Since I was at Downtown Disney, I decided to use a Disney Dream Dollars gift card that's about to expire. I ended up getting a Disney 60th Anniversary pin and lithograph, which is pretty cool. Also cool? Now that Disney owns Star Wars, they are doing a super-sweet job of integrating their new property into the Disney parks...

BWAH HA HA HA!

The dinner meeting was short & sweet, and I was on my way back to my hotel at 7:00... arriving by 7:30... in bed at 8:00. Not a bad end to a pretty great day... especially food-wise.

Time for a very special Los Angeles bullets edition... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Getty. If forced to pick my favorite place in Los Angeles, it would probably be Disneyland. Outside of Disneyland the contenders get murky and I'm not entirely sure what my next pick would be. But The Getty Center would be near the top of the list. It's a gorgeous location above L.A. that's populated with beautiful galleries that are filled with amazing art. And it's all free for the viewing (though parking is $15, if you're driving up)...

   
• Frog. If you look closely in the first photo above, a work called "Boy with Frog" (by Charles Ray) is near the top of the steps...

This surprised me, because a version is also at the tip of the Punta della Dogana in Venice, Italy...

Not sure what that's all about, but it was kinda cool.

   
• Art! As a huge Monet fan, I usually thrill to see new works... but those at The Getty are versions of a theme that I've already seen many times. Still great though...

The most popular painting at the museum is a nice irises pieces by Van Gogh...

Probably my favorite piece is one that has Baby Jesus loving GOLD, but... SUSPICIOUSLY...

And, of course, RICK JAMES, BITCH...

   
• Rude! Los Angeles is a weird city where lots of weird stuff happens. Like the public hanging of a Teddy Bear...

In all seriousness, WTF is wrong with people?!?

   
• Traffic? Something I had not seen on the most excellent navigation app, Waze, before is a traffic jam gauge. It tells you how long the current jam will last...

Interestingly enough, it was pretty darn accurate! Sweet! Modern technology at work.

   
• Traffic! You see the oddest things in L.A. traffic (my favorite being DOMO-KUN!), and today did not disappoint. The first thing I noticed was an abundance of handyman vans that seem to be in competition for most interesting paint job. Two I managed to photograph...

Rock n' Roll indeed... he had the heads of dozens of rock legends painted on the sides!

Truly... Stitt does happen!

Though L.A. traffic was best represented by somebody proclaiming their love of traffic...

   
So long leisure bullets... tomorrow it's time to get to work.

Los Angeles is a city of extremes to me. I both love and hate it, all the while acknowledging that there's nowhere on earth even remotely like it... even though I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Which means it's probably a little of both.

Every time I come back, I try to focus on the many, many positive experiences I've had here... but the soul-crushing negatives are always in the back of my head. For that reason, I can never just come to L.A. for relaxation and having fun. There's too many things haunting me to make that possible. But I do always manage to enjoy myself... assuming I don't think about the insane amount of time I spend in traffic too much.

Which would be easy if it weren't for all the time I spend in traffic.

Next year I turn fifty and, let me tell you, there's nothing like travel to make me feel like the crotchety old fart I'm becoming.

The morning started off with my being told that Seattle is experiencing weather delays and the flight in could be delayed by an hour or more. Which would be fine if this were one of my typical four hour layovers at SeaTac but, just my luck, I have a 46-minute layover this time. But, eh... what can you do? If it happens, it happens and I'll figure something else out, right?

See... I'm also mellowing in my old age,

But then I started getting irritated because people are just so damn irritating.

The actual flight to L.A. was fine. I was completely absorbed by watching Mad Max: Fury Road again because... well... ZOMG WHAT AN AMAZING FILM... and didn't pay much attention to anything going on around me.

After landing it was another story.

There I was getting my suitcase down from the overhead when I get bumped into by a small boy. He's irritated and squirmy because he has to go to the bathroom. I let the mother know that they will probably let him use the bathrooms if she wants, because we're at the back of the plane and it may take a while for people ahead of us to clear out. She thanks me, but says he's already gone to the bathroom several times and he's just using it as an excuse. I then goof around with the kid for a bit to try and take his mind of things, but it doesn't last long and he's back to squirming in no time. His mother tries her best to keep him in line and everything, but the guy is a handful.

Then it happens.

Some crusty older bitch in her hipster black turtleneck sees that the mother has tattoos and crazy colored hair and piercings and instantly comes to the conclusion that this surely must be a bad mother, and SHE knows better how to raise children than the mother does. And she tells the mother this.

Which infuriates me. It's not like the mother is letting the kid go apeshit all over the place like most parents do now-a-days... she's trying her level best to keep him in line. So I cut the bitch a glance and say "Give me a break... he's a kid!" Which should have been the end of it.

But of course it wasn't.

The self-entitled parenting expert of the year keeps at it. Telling the young mother everything she's doing wrong.

I was about to say something again when all of a sudden... the mother lets her have it.

"ARE YOU HIS MOTHER? DID I ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE? WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

Surely that would be the end of it, right?

Nope.

The hipster Anne-Rice-Wannabe bitch proceeds to tell the mother that she had to sit in front of her and her kid the entire flight and it was horrible and maybe the mother should drive next time.

The mother loses it.

SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! NOBODY ASKED YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

And good for her. Probably wouldn't have cursed in front of the kid like that but, seriously, good for her.

As we're leaving, I feel the need to tell the mother that it's not her who should be driving... it's people who can't deal with being in public and are serious assholes about it. I hope it makes her feel better about the situation.

Sure I may like to talk about how people should be raising their kids... but never in a million years would I presume to actually tell a mother she's raising her kid wrong. Especially a mother who was trying to discipline her child and making them behave. What the fuck is that about?

And then I got to the car rental counter.

I can only guess the man causing a scene there was related to the asshole on the plane, because he sure acted like it. Apparently the car he wanted wasn't available, so he was just going off on the poor guys at the counter who were doing everything they could to placate the piece of shit. Like they have control over somebody not returning a vehicle on time or whatever. The asshole kept hammering away with "I'M A VERY GOOD CUSTOMER!" and "I'M GOING TO TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!" and "I'M NOT SPENDING MONEY WITH THIS COMPANY AGAIN!" and "AUF WIEDERSEHEN! GOOD BYE! GOOD RIDDANCE!" and "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT!" and "I'M NOT WALKING ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE PARKING GARAGE! YOU NEED TO BRING THE CAR TO ME!"

As I stood over at the next counter filling out my paperwork I just couldn't take it any more and started screaming "WAH! WAH! WAAAAAAAH! THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT ME?! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! MEEEEEE!!!" Then I looked over at the dickhead, inviting him to take on somebody who didn't have to put up with his bullshit.

But of course it never came. Assholes like this are almost always complete cowards when they have to fight against somebody who can fight back.

The prick finally signed off with "This is supposed to be customer service? I've never been so disgusted!" Which is when I had to point out to the guy helping me that I save my disgust for things like extreme poverty and world hunger.

Look, I get it. I have blogged many times about how shitty it is to not get the car you reserved. It sucks. It's wrong. It shouldn't happen. It's upsetting. But to take it out on some poor guy who is trying their best to help you? I'm just not that big a dick.

Well, I am... but I save my big dickish behavior for those who deserve it.

Even though I would probably be better off not getting involved at all.

Except I just can't help myself, can I? I am well on my way to becoming a crotchety old fart and seriously don't give a shit anymore.

If I ever did.

And then there was traffic hell on the 405 to deal with...

Welcome to the City of Angels.

Tomorrow I'm off to L.A. for a quick trip and I'm somehow grossly ill-prepared.

Maybe it's because I haven't been traveling much this year compared to the usual grind, but I just can't seem to get in the grove. Luckily my bags are still unpacked from my Maine trip two weeks ago or I'd be completely screwed. Swap out some clean underwear, fresh shirts, and a couple pairs of jeans... and... done!

Hopefully I still have toothpaste left in there somewhere.

Now I just need to work all through the night so I can get caught up enough to actually leave in the morning.

I wish I drank coffee.

Or maybe did cocaine.

Because I think 5-Hour Energy is losing its effectiveness on me. I really do.

You would think after working 47 hours straight. Not being able to sleep for five hours. Then spending an entire day traveling to get home... I'd crash hard last night and finally be able to sleep.

And I did.

For four whole hours.

Which meant my Saturday was spent in a foggy haze of exhaustion that made getting caught up with work almost impossible.

Lucky for me I have time left to drink a 2-liter of Coke so I can stay up all night tonight and try to make some headway.

I can't even remember what my brain is supposed to feel like.

I'm mostly-dead right now. Fortunately my flight home was less eventful than my drive back to Boston last night.

And I didn't even get to the best part of the evening.

After coming closer to death than I'd ever planned on, I pulled into Boston in an attempt to find my airport hotel. But first... I wanted to fill up the rental car with gas so I wouldn't have to worry about it early this morning. Lucky for me, there was a gas station just one block from the Wyndham, and I pulled in to fuel up...

...only to find every pump occupied by police cars.

Seriously, an entire fleet waiting for me.

And since the last thing I wanted to do was to walk amongst the cops while wired on 5-Hour Energy and an adrenaline rush from almost dying, I immediately turned around and left.

Fully expecting that they would chase me down for my odd behavior and beat the shit out of me.

But, alas, I escaped with my life, made my flight, got home safely, and all is well.

I live to fly another day.