And so I braced myself for plagues of locusts, fire raining from the sky, cats and dogs sleeping together, and Seattle sliding into the ocean while the Columbia River dried up... but it never happened.
That was back in 2012.
Now I sit waiting for the nut-jobs to climb out of the woodwork every time a natural disaster happens so they can say "SEE! I TOLD YOU SO!" Which, of course, they do. It seemed that every story on the internet about the recent tragedy at Oso had at least one comment blaming the mudslide on Washington spitting in the face of God by passing marriage equality.
Why God waited so long to show His displeasure is never explained. I mean, if marriage equality becoming law was so offensive to The Almighty, you'd think He would have acted immediately... sending a massive earthquake to rip our state apart (or whatever). But He didn't. Despite being omnipotent, I guess God likes to think these things over and dole out punishment little bits at a time?
And it never works the other way, does it? Thomas Peters spent every waking moment railing against marriage equality... until he had to take a break because of a horrific swimming accident that left him paralyzed. But was this considered God's punishment for Peters' bigotry and homophobia? No. No it was not. That Peters signed up for Obamacare when his National Organization for Marriage employers (assumably) dumped him off their insurance was not seen as ironic either... despite him railing against The Affordable Care Act as well.
Hypocrisy: It's what's for dinner.
Actually, with these people, it's for breakfast and lunch too.
Today the National Organization for Marriage took the money they saved by canceling Thomas Peter's insurance... along with a shit-ton of money from supporters who inexplicably donate despite NOM's non-stop parade of failures... so they could organize their "March for Marriage." An event to condemn marriage equality which was headlined by such luminous visionaries as Mike "The End is Nigh" Huckabee, Rick "Piece of Shit" Santorum, and Brian "We Must Continue the Fight so I Get Rich" Brown.
Chalk up another pathetic embarrassment for NOM...
Look, it's over.
Marriage equality is becoming a reality in more and more states. The momentum is undeniable. People are coming to realize that adding marriage for same-sex couples doesn't in any way affect "traditional marriage," so they want their gay friends, co-workers, and family to have the same rights they do. And as the homophobic bigots continue to die out faster than new ones are created, the pool of people willing to deny rights to gay couples is rapidly diminishing.
It's over.
So rather than spending money in a losing battle on the wrong side of history supporting hate, it would be nice if organizations like NOM would put it to better use. Like spending it to feed the hungry and heal the sick. Since most of their money has religious ties, I'm guessing that's what Jesus would want anyway.
Oh... no... according to The Bible, that's exactly what he would want!
Funny how things all work out in the end.
Fun trip to the eye doctor today.
Apparently my astigmatism, which has been growing progressively worse over the past six years, has done gone missing. Evaporated. Disappeared. Since I totally blamed my worsening eyesight on society's indoctrination by The Gay Agenda™, I figured I'd be completely blind by now since Washington State (and a bunch of other states) passed marriage equality and Michael Sam got drafted into the NFL as its first openly gay player.
But instead... my eyesight actually improved after Washington State (and a bunch of other states) passed marriage equality and Michael Sam got drafted into the NFL as its first openly gay player. So I guess I had it all backwards. Once marriage equality goes nation-wide and an NFL player's sexuality isn't considered news... I fully expect to get Superman's X-ray vision. Or his heat his vision. Or his microscopic vision. Or his telescopic vision. One of those visions. Maybe all of those visions.
Wow, Superman sure has a shit-ton of super-visions!
I guess that's why he's Superman.
But putting aside the fucking insane people who belief that The Gays are responsible for everything that goes wrong in the world... many happy congratulations to Michael Sam!
And his boyfriend, surely...
For the life of me, I cannot comprehend why two guys kissing caused a chunk of Americana to lose their fucking minds. Turn the channel and you've got people murdering each other... people abusing drugs... people having drunken sex... The Kardashians... and yet it's two guys kissing that makes people want to shoot their television and boycott ESPN?
"BUT, ZOMFG! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!"
Kids only think that something is a big deal if adults make it into a big deal for them. If your children are freaking out, it's because you're making it happen. Don't go all homophobic crazy, and Michael Sam's kiss is just another kiss in a parade of thousands of kisses that happen on television every day.
Maybe people will finally be able to see that with their super-vision once we finally get an openly gay president.
Times to put down that snow shovel and grab a mug of delicious hot chocolate... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...
• Thrice Nine. I am very happy to announce that today we have released the ninth issue of THRICE Fiction Magazine, featuring a bevy of talented writers and artists all wrapped up in this stunning cover by the amazingly talented Katelin Kinney...
Do yourself a favor and go download a FREE copy at the THRICE Fiction website... you'll be glad you did!
• Light. If I ever come up lacking blog fodder, all I have to do is drive down Wenatchee Avenue (the main drag running the entire length of the city of Wenatchee). Today I nearly ran over a guy crossing the street against the light while hauling a filled body bag! Filled with what, I have no idea. But that's not all, as I also saw... two white guys poppin' and lockin' on a street corner... a woman in a motorized wheelchair dragging a wagon filled with Christmas presents... a little girl twirling like she just don't care in front of an Indian restaurant... Santa Claus... a guy in shorts and a fur parka sitting on the trunk of his(?) car smoking a cigarette and drinking from a giant coffee mug... AND this...
It says "CHURCH THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD"... but they drew a streaming pile of shit in the middle of it? Which is covering the secondary brake light, rendering it useless. Oh... and if you think that I managed to get into Denny's at 2:30 on the Sunday before Christmas? NO! No I did not! Which makes me sad, because that Hobbit Specialty Menu ain't gonna last forever.
• Mango! I'm a Kool-Aid kid. I would rather have a cold glass of Kool-Aid than soda pop any day. Tropical Punch is my favorite flavor, but I try to shake things up by making classic flavors like Orange, Grape, Lemon-Lime, and Watermelon. I also have tried specialty flavors that pop up from time to time like Purplesaurus Rex, Arctic Green Apple, and Sharkleberry Fin. And then this week I found Mango, which I almost skipped because I worried it would be too weird like the Pineapple flavor I tried last month. But, sanity prevailed, and I thought I'd give it a try...
Delicious! Really good color, aroma, and flavor! If you like mango, then this is absolutely worth a shot.
• Reel. I've mentioned a couple times how I'm really stoked to see the Russian film Stalingrad, which takes place during World War II in the middle of one of the bloodiest battles in world history. The trailer looks absolutely amazing, even though I'm not a big fan of war movies. And now they've released a special effects real showing how they were rendered for 3-D. It's pretty mind-blowing...
Needless to say, I want to see the movie now more than ever. I guess it's in limited release, because I haven't seen it playing anywhere yet. It'll be a pretty big bummer if it leaves theaters before I can see it.
• Bittersweet. On one hand, New Mexico and Utah have joined the marriage equality bandwagon...
On the other hand, Uganda has passed an "Anti-Homosexuality Bill" which mandates life in prison for anybody having gay sex. I suppose we should all be thankful that the punishment wasn't set to "death," which was their original idea for a sentence. But I'm too busy being absolutely horrified. Even more so because anti-gay abominations of humanity here in the USA played a part in it. The very ideal of "The United States of America" is one of a beacon of freedom and hope known throughout the world. What in the hell happened? Our government is spying on its own people. We're passing horrific laws allowing the indefinite unlawful detention of American citizens. Our politicians are bought and paid for by Special Interest money with no consideration given to the people they profess to serve. Our media so thoroughly polarizes us that we've become a country hopelessly divided in venom and hate. And now? Now? We have assholes so filled with blind hatred and homophobia that they're exporting it to other countries because their efforts are finally failing here at home. Hardly a new concept, to be sure, but still fucking abhorrent given that these people are professing to be spreading hate in the name of religion. God bless America.
Because somebody has to.
• Pass. And lastly, in what I can only describe as a Christmas miracle come early, BARRY EFFIN' GIBB actually made an effin' appearance on The Barry Gibb Talk Show on last night's surprisingly funny Saturday Night Live...
Ordinarily, I wouldn't spoil the surprise like this, but... 1) he's right there on the video frame, and 2) The show featured guest host Jimmy Fallon and musical guest Justin Timberlake... was there any question that The Barry Gibb Talk Show wasn't going to make an appearance? Not the best installment of the long-running sketch, but certainly one of the most eventful! And a sad reminder that Robin Gibb is no longer with us, having died May last year.
And... time to make some holiday magic happen, people...
Every time another giant piece of ice breaks off Antarctica, I feel a pang of regret that I haven't yet visited the continent. This time the piece was "only" 252 square miles... which is slightly smaller than the massive 278 square mile chunk that calved off the last time I blogged about it back in July. That's over 500 square miles within a four-month period, which is pretty scary when you consider this is only going to accelerate from here on out.
As will my regret, I'm sure.
Which is a difficult concept for somebody who tries to live without regrets.
In other news...
Congratulations to Illinois!
You've joined my home state of Washington and just became the 16th State to legalize marriage equality!
Hmmm... didn't I just do this a few days ago? Why, yes. Yes I did!
34 to go.
Congratulations, Hawaii!
You've joined my home state of Washington and just became the 15th State to legalize marriage equality!
It's amazing that my gay and lesbian friends can now tie the knot in one of the most beautiful places on earth!
Thanks and much mahalo for recognizing that love is love... and everybody deserves to marry that one person who makes their life complete!
Say hello, wave goodbye... because Bullet Sunday starts now...
• Bad! I've been dreading the impending final episode of Breaking Bad for months. I love the show, didn't want it to end, and was worried sick that the writers would build everything up to a shitty, "artistic," non-ending ending like The Sopranos. Or, more recently, a shitty, shitty, non-ending ending like Dexter... both of which sucked ass. But, surprise, Vince Gilligan and the rest of the Breaking Bad crew actually pulled it off...
If the show had to end, this was a great way to do it.
• Go Martha! Heaven only knows I am no Martha Stewart fan... there are times I downright despise the woman... but her taking a stand against patent trolls has me cheering her on. If only we could get rid of these do-nothing, innovation-killing shit-bags for good.
• So Long! If somebody were to unfriend me for supporting my friends or family, then they were never my friend to begin with, and wouldn't be missed...
People who live in the past should be left there. If they remove themselves from the game, so much the better.
• Delicious! For those of you keeping up with my love/hate relationship with Earl of Sandwich, THE PHILADELPHIA AIRPORT LOCATION STILL HAS THE EARL VEGGIE ON THE MENU!!
A little saltier than I remember (I think they over-did the salt/pepper/spice mix) but still oh so delicious.
• High Society! Betty Who's "Somebody Loves You" is getting a lot of attention... but my favorite track off of her her "The Movement" EP is called "High Society." And seeing her perform it live in this video has now made seeing her in concert a priority for me...
If you haven't picked it up yet, The Movement EP is worth a listen.
And, I guess it's goodbye!
Pledge allegiance to YouTube... because a special All-Video Bullet Sunday on Wednesday starts now...
• Guinness! Really good advertising is exceedingly rare. Especially on television. Most television ads are irritating as shit, and something you can't wait to end so you can get back to watching the show you tuned in for. I loathe television ads so much that I rarely watch "live" television any more. I record everything on my DVR so I can fast-forward through that shit. However... there are times that truly good ads happen. Then, not only do I not mind watching them, I actually find myself rewinding my DVR so I can watch them again and again. This miraculous ad from Guinness is just such an ad...
Beautiful. Maybe even poetic. And most certainly one of my favorite ads ever. I've lost track of how many times I've watched it just for the sheer joy of seeing something hopeful and good. If all advertisements were this thoughtful and smart, I'd have to start watching "live" TV again.
• I DO! Everyone on the internet has seen this already, but I want it on my blog anyway because I love it. I can't fathom the person who watches this video and experiences anything but happiness for these people...
If that isn't enough for you, Spencer and Dustin talk about the video on Ellen here. Best of luck, guys!
• BRAINS! When it comes to zombie stories, "touching" and "heart-warming" are not terms you'd generally use to describe them. But this... this... is well worth your time to watch, because it's exactly that...
Put these guys in charge of the new Walking Dead spin-off.
• Orchestra! This kinda made my week. It's Tom & Jerry as you've never heard it before...
So many of the cartoons from my childhood had brilliant scores that could easily be deserving of this treatment. Brilliant.
• D*CK! Never underestimate the power of a Kiwi accent...
What is it with these squirrels hanging out on my d*ick?!?
And... no more video bullets for you.
Time to pick up that mint julep... because Bullet Sunday starts now...
• Gone! For my first bullet, I'd like to thank Google for the big "fuck you" they drop tomorrow when they kill off Google Reader. It's great how you blow into town with some essential tool and dominate the entire market after killing off the competition... then abandon that market when you can't exploit it for millions of dollars. Way to be "not evil." Next up... Feed Burner?
• Gone Too! Just to show that Google doesn't have a monopoly in killing off services... Yahoo! is killing off a dozen products, including Alta Vista on July 8th, which was my go-to search engine back in the 1990's. Yahoo! says that you should now "Please visit Yahoo Search for all of your searching needs"... but my guess is that this will actually mean more search traffic for Google. Oh well. Another piece of internet history to be gone and forgotten.
• Schadenfreude! I try to be respectful of other people's beliefs and opinions... honestly I do. But the outpouring of hand-wringing over the repeal of DOMA and striking down of Prop 8 is just too delicious to ignore. Because, seriously, if you don't accept same-sex marriage, THEN DON'T MARRY SOMEBODY OF THE SAME SEX! There's really nothing more to be said on the matter, BECAUSE WHETHER OR NOT OTHER PEOPLE GET MARRIED DOESN'T AFFECT YOU! Apparently Justice Kennedy agrees, having denied an application to halt marriages in California.
The people yelling the loudest seem to be the people who make money from fighting against equality, which isn't really surprising. When you fail utterly in your job... bigoted as it may be... I suppose you have cause to be upset.
• Haunted! As a huge fan of visionary musician Trent Reznor (aka Nine Inch Nails) and visionary director David Lynch, the idea of them teaming up for a music video seems too good to be true. And now, after having seen their effort for Come Back Haunted, I know it was too good to be true. What a boring, predictable, and sadly expected video. Rather than looking like something cutting-edge and new, it reeks of all the "nihilistic" videos that were unleashed after the amazing opening credits for the movie SE7EN happened. This is made all the more sad when you consider that the song used in those opening credits was Closer... by Trent Reznor. So I just don't know. Was this meant to be some kind of homage? A parody perhaps? Some kind of commentary on all those who think intermixing shaky camera moves with disturbing images is still edgy? Lynch had a real opportunity here to take us in a new direction, and we get something that would have looked dated ten years ago. Maybe in another ten years he'll go techno-speed-nihilistic and give us a parody of the US credits from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo?
• Here! And now we're to the part of Bullet Sunday where I offer up this bit of 80's Thompson Twins genius, courtesy of Sixteen Candles, just because it's there...
They don't make teen angst movies like that anymore.
• Rest in Peace. As somebody who lives in a fire zone and has been threatened by wildfires more than once, my heart goes out to the friends and family of the "Granite Mountain Hotshots," 19 of whom perished in a horrific fire northwest of Phoenix...
UPDATE: The Free Republic has an article remembering this elite team of firefighters.
And... back to work. I think I can still get in another two or three hours before I pass out.
So DOMA is gone and Prop 8 has been struck down.
Both Supreme Court rulings are very good news for equality and freedom in this country.
But, of course, the hand-wringing and whining from the anti-equality brigade has already begun in full force. Never mind that not a single person lost any rights today... some people just enjoy being able to deny rights to people they don't like, and now they're all upset because some of that power has been taken away.
Though the bigger picture may not be so bleak for the bigots among us.
Because yesterday SCOTUS gutted the Voting Rights act.
So now States are completely free to disenfranchise voters as they see fit. Have a class of people you want to eliminate from the voting pool? No problem! Just find the way that they tend to vote and get rid of it! Do they tend to vote early? Get rid of early voting! Do they tend to have difficulty getting certain types of identification? Then require that kind of identification! Do they tend to vote at late hours? Close the polls early! Do they all tend to vote at the same time? Then limit the number of polling stations so they can't all get in to vote! Do they tend to have dark skin? Then require their complexion be lighter than a paper bag to qualify to vote! The possibilities are endless! With enough planning, you can get rid of All The Wrong People and make sure the only people able to vote are the people you feel are worthy of the privilege (i.e. they'll vote the way you want them to).
Okay, I exaggerate.
But not really.
Because it's already happening. Except now, thanks to our Supreme Court, the people doing the disenfranchising don't even have to be subtle about it. Texas waited less than two hours after the SCOTUS ruling to start implementing a redistricting measure for heaven's sake.
And a part of me now has to wonder if the DOMA/Prop 8 stuff even matters.
Because if The Right People can determine who gets to vote, then they can shape election results. And I'm pretty sure this will include making sure only The Right People get into office. Which in turn guarantees that only The Right People end up serving on the Supreme Court. Which means that The Right People win the ball game.
In which case The Wrong People lose.
And that probably includes you.
If not today, then probably tomorrow.
In my annual music wrap-up for last year, a musical duo called "Father Tiger" came out of nowhere to nab the number two spot for best album of 2012. My only disappointment was that some of my favorite singles from the band weren't on it.
This has been partially rectified with their EP release titled Vernal Equinox which had First Love as one of the tracks. It's a terrific song, and today they release a video for it...
Clever, that.
And timely, given that we're nearing the SCOTUS decision on marriage equality in America...
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