Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind is my favorite of all the new attractions I rode. It's an immediate classic because it's so well done and so entertaining. If Disney is going to fart IP over absolutely everything, I hope it's as thoughtfully done as this. I went in expecting it to be another Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith being an indoor coaster with music... but walked out feeling like I had been slapped across the face. In a good way.

Which is not easy for me to say for two reasons...

1. It replaced Ellen's Energy Adventure, which I really liked (hey, at least the dinosaurs were actual physical animatronics instead of being crappy screens like Na'vi River Journey).
2. The attraction goes against the concept of Epcot's "Future World" which was to explain how the planet is moving into the future in a realistic way, focusing on the land, the seas, the body, energy, transportation, and the like. About the furthest it strayed was Journey Into Imagination, but even that was designed to show how dreams and imagination can be harnessed to build our future. This ride attempts to explain it away, but it really doesn't. Everything about it is fiction with no basis in reality.

But anyway...

You enter the "Wonders of Xandar" pavilion to learn about the planet (featured in the first Guardians of the Galaxy film) and the queue actually reflects that. There's exhibits and recordings and stuff all about Xandar to entertain you while you stand in line. Then you get transported through a jumphole to actually visit Xandar when, oops, a Celestial shows up and steals the Cosmic Generator to travel back in time and erase humans from existence. Just as the Celestial hops through the jumphole to the past, The Guardians show up and tell you that you will have to chase after him and retrieve the Cosmic Generator if you ever want to make it back to earth and, you know, keep existing. You board an evacuation shuttle to follow the Celestial and chaos ensues.

Not a lot for me to be critical about, but let's recap, shall we?

The Bad...

• The Location! In the queue you learn that Epcot was chosen as the location for the Xandarian outreach pavilion because it was Star-Lord Peter Quill's favorite park as a kid (especially the "Universe of Energy" pavilion, which is hilarious given that this ride replaced it). But it's completely against the whole idea of what Future World is supposed to be about, and seems so badly out of place. Unless they're going to shoehorn in IP stuff everywhere else as well. In which case Epcot is out of place in Epcot. In all honesty, I think the intellectual property mandate is going to really hurt the parks (some IP is good, but they need to remember that the attractions can also create IP... like Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion did).
• No Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel? I don't get this at all. Even if they were unavailable when filming was done, they could have easily recorded their dialogue any time after because they play CGI characters. I don't know why they wouldn't want to contribute to a Disney attraction, but I guess that's possible? More likely Disney didn't want to pay them. Regardless, Cooper is sorely missed because Rocket isn't Rocket without him. I really do hope that eventually he gets to re-record the voice so the character feels authentic.

The Good...

• The Track & Cars! The track is laid out very well and is buttery smooth. Almost unbelievably smooth. This is something that people who don't generally like rollercoasters might be able to handle because it's Just. That. Smooth. It's got two launches and they're integrated beautifully. Launching coasters are my favorite, and while this isn't the most thrilling... it is tied with my all-time favorite (the Incredible Hulk Coaster, which was the first launching coaster I rode). Plus the cars you ride in can rotate so the ride can maximize available space by having you look in the direction they want you to look.
• The Story! The fact that rollercoasters are being given stories now makes them so much more interesting. And when the story is good, it adds an entirely new level to the usual dips, loops, and spins. The whole ramp-up pre-show is great, but it's the way it's faithfully continued during the actual ride that makes the attraction so amazing. If I have a criticism, it's that it resolves too quickly but, hey, you're on a rollercoaster, so that's not something that can really be helped!
• The Music! Paying homage to the films, you get some incredible 80's tracks to listen to as you're zipping around the cosmos. And which track you get determines the feel of the ride. The first time I rode it we got I Ran by Flock of Seagulls, and it was by far my favorite. It fit the story they're telling so well, and the beat really hit as you run through the story. Everybody Wants to Rule the World was a bit more chill and gave an entirely different vibe to the ride, which is why the re-ridability is off the charts. Blondie's One Way or Another also worked really well, and there were parts of the ride that it fit so beautifully. There are six different songs total (and I'm sure they'll get swapped out at some point), and you can't help but want to hear them all.
• The Characters! With the exception of Rocket, who could have really benefitted from Bradley Cooper's voice, it was very cool to see the entire team represented. Not just on the ride, but the queue. Drax steals the entire show every time he appears, but everybody has a good part to the story to play. Which leads us to...
• The Pre-Show! Not only did they somehow get Glenn Close to reprise her role as Nova Prime (in a huge pre-show part to the story), they also managed to get Terry Crews as a new character to inject some humor into the attraction. As if that wasn't enough, the pre-show has two parts with a very cool transition which sells the illusion of having been teleported to a ship in Xandar orbit very well. The queues and pre-shows for rides are incredibly important, and this is my favorite since Back to the Future: The Ride.
• The Length! In an age when Disney coasters are clocking in under two minutes, Cosmic Rewind is a blissful three minutes twenty. Any attraction under three minutes needs to be seriously re-evaluated, and I'd argue 3-1/2 should be the bare minimum. If you include the queue and pre-show, the ride feels even longer than it is, which is how it should be.

UPDATE: I didn't understand how the entirety of a high-speed coaster could fit in the old "Universe of Energy" pavilion, and guessed that they must have expanded it out the back somehow. So I ended up Google Mapping it. Turns out that the old building (in green) it merely the queue, pre-show, and loading area. The actual launch for the ride shoots you into another massive building entirely (in blue)...

Interesting to note that the launch takes you over a service road! Also interesting is that the building looks at least five stories tall. Maybe six. That, folks, is how you get an indoor coaster to last over three minutes! And be incredibly entertaining!

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... When I was in Orlando for work in 2017, Pandora: The World of Avatar had not yet opened. I was a month-and-a-half too early. But I was expecting good things. Years prior you could see construction of the "Floating Mountains of Pandora" (AKA "The Hallelujah Mountains," from one of the most cringe scenes in the movie when Norm pumps his fists and is all "YES!" in a moment so fucking embarrassing I seriously worried the actor would never work again). In 2019 the only parks I visited were Magic Kingdom (for a haircut and a veggie dog at Casey's Corner) and Epcot (to eat dinner in Italy and Morocco). NO PANDORA FOR YOU!

But anyway...

Here we are seven years later and I finally made it...

Now, I'm not exactly sure what "Pandora" (not the bracelet) is supposed to be. I think that, like with Star Wars Land, once you cross the threshold into Avatar Land, you're actually supposed to be on Pandora. The attractions certainly make it seem that way. When you're on the Flight of Passage ride, they say you're connecting to an avatar body not across the galaxy, but kilometers away. But unlike Star Wars Land, where there's a good transition to the area, Pandora is like... right there. You pass Pizzafari, walk across a bridge, pass a giant seed pod (or whatever it is), and BAM! Welcome to Pandora. Not a big deal, of course, but it feels like a disconnect.

I did not get to see Avatar Land at night, but apparently that's a great time to see it because things light up and look amazing. I wanted to see what I was missing so I Googled photos people had taken. And, yes, it does indeed look impressive. Next time I'll have to check it out.

But anyway...

You're in a Na'vi village with places to eat and shop for souvenirs (all expensive, some ridiculous). Plus experience two attractions.

The first is Na'vi River Journey. You board a boat and float down a Na'vi river. Hence the name. Along the way you get to see creatures and plants and stuff that makes Pandora so cool. Except the ride is just so... bad. It's boring and less impressive than just watching Avatar. I like the idea as to why it exists... you can experience Pandora at night in the daytime... and I appreciate that. But yikes. Here we go...

The Bad...

• Boring. Seriously. You don't do anything but float and look. There's no story. There's no adventure. There's nothing to do. You're just sitting there. In some ways it's less exciting than It's a Small World.
• Screen Hell. There are a grand total of two Na'vi animatronics. TWO! One waves at you as you enter and is silly. One is singing to you as you leave and is phenomenal. And while there are physical fake plants and some simple physical creatures around (like seeds of Eywa and those spinning lizards) all the interesting stuff is on frickin' screens. That alone makes this attraction pretty bad. They should have filled the thing with animatronics and made it worth your valuable time. It's pretty sad when Elle's Energy Adventure had a more exciting ride-through because at least the creatures you saw were real (well, not real-real, but animatronic-real).

The Good...

• That Na'vi Priestess Animatronic. I mean, seriously. Wow. It's gorgeous. So fluid and realistic-looking. If they had six more of these on the ride... plus some cool animatronic animals... this ride would have been a total banger. As it is, I don't know that this one thing makes the entire attraction worthwhile. Probably. If the wait isn't too long. But there's really no need to ride it more than once. And that's a serious problem. They should refresh this for its 10th anniversary in 2027, because yikes.

The other ride, Avatar Flight of Passage, is the complete opposite of all that. This one attraction makes the entirety of Avatar Land worthwhile to exist. You visit a scientific facility where you are linked with an avatar that is making a flight on a banshee. You then get to experience what the avatar is experiencing, and the way they make it all work is really cool and about as convincing as you can get until there's a big leap in technology. You put on a pair of "flight goggles" (3D glasses), climb on a link saddle, then get put in the middle of a 3D movie as your link saddle does its best to convince you that you're actually riding a banshee. It's pretty great. Unlike Na'vi River Journey, this one is worth your valuable time...

• The Logic. There's some things that don't make sense and are not addressed. It was my understanding from the movies that once a banshee gets linked and bonded with during the Na'vi right of passage, they are bonded with for life. If the rider dies, then the banshee will never bond with anybody else. Which is to say that everybody in the ride queue with you... day-in and day-out... are linking with the same bunch of Na'vi over and over and over again? Don't they get tired? If that's the case, humans must have a very limited sequence of DNA in order to link with them because surely there's a limited number of avatars and banshees available. I dunno. I'm probably over-thinking it, but I've read the Avatar books that explain all this stuff in detail and it seems like Disney and James Cameron could have done more to make this make sense.
• Discomfort. The link chairs are not exactly comfortable. Especially for me because I have a bad ankle. You're supposed to keep your feet flat on the floor while being bent forward, which is something my right foot just can't do because I injured it ages ago skydiving. I did it (in pain) while the cast members made their walkthrough, but then bent it so I wasn't crying through the entire ride. And I don't get it. There's absolutely no reason that you can't bend your foot! You're locked in, so it's not even a safety thing. Although I'm guessing that's what they'd say. I was worried that they'd kick me off the ride if I didn't so I tried to comply at the start, but it was so unnecessary. They should install pegs so people with mobility issues can at least be comfortable.

• The Tech. This is essentially a version of Soarin' except everybody is sitting on their own link chair. And those chairs are great. They move well. And they frickin' breathe! Once you're linked to an avatar, you feel what they feel and that involves the banshee breathing between your legs. They really sell the illusion of flight and it's a lot of fun.
• The Movie. The 3D film is what's going to make or break the experience. Fortunately, it's incredibly well done. The 3D is subtle so there's not weird moments where things are unrealistically punching you in the face. The flight path you take is thrilling. There's moments where you land and take in the view that keeps it feeling real. And, most importantly, it really looks like you're on Pandora.
• The Pre-Show. The queue is nothing special. But once you enter the pre-show chamber, they create a great illusion that sells what you're going to experience. Rather than just making you stand on numbers without any attempt to make it make sense, you're standing on them to get scanned so they can find a compatible avatar. You then have to go to the corresponding link chair so that you're linked with the correct avatar that you were matched with. It's a more immersive way of getting people assigned their seat than you usually see.
• Re-Ridability. Even if the experience wasn't so amazing, you'd probably still want to ride it again because the movie is so wonderfully detailed. There's stuff going on that you'll miss the first five times you ride it.

They really need to get on another attraction for Pandora so they can take down River Journey and fix it. It's a real sore spot in what could be a top-tier experience.

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Despite liking the attraction overall, I was disappointed that Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway didn't take full advantage of their trackless cars.

But Remy's Ratatouille Adventure does, and it's a pretty brilliant ride. Finally giving the France Pavilion the great attraction it deserves, it's located in back of the original pavilion structures...

The story of the ride is that you're shrunk down to the size of a rat (while riding in rat vehicles, natch) and get dropped down a skylight into Gusteau's restaurant where evil Chef Skinner chases you and Remy around trying to catch you. Your end goal is to escape and make it back up to Remy's rooftop restaurant, Bistrot Chez Rémy.

Not much else to say except I love the attraction. So let's recap!

The Bad...

• Missing! I rode this four times trying to see everything (thank you Lightning Lane Multipass!). It wasn't until the last time that I realized I had missed part of the ride the previous three times not because there was so much going on (except there is), but because the rat car I happened to be in was at an earlier position. In rides 1-3 I was late to all the scenes. It's not critical stuff, so no big loss, but it was fun to see things I didn't previously (but wish I had).

The Good...

• The Story! While the how of you shrinking to rat-size isn't clear, it really doesn't matter. Once you're dropped into the restaurant you're trying to escape... and characters from the movie are there. Alfredo, Colette, Emilie, Pompidou, and of course Remy and Skinner. The ride makes sense within the framework of the ride and the movie. Refreshing.
• The Cars! Trackless vehicles and the ride actually relies on them being trackless. You regularly peel off from the other rat cars in interesting and seemingly random ways where more of the attraction is revealed to you. It's absolutely brilliant, and feels more frantic and chaotic to match the energy of the ride. They're also shaped like adorable rats, so... bonus!
• 4D! You wear 3D glasses because there's screens where part of the story plays out in very good 3D. But there are times you end up in 4D as well. You drive through a kitchen storage pantry where giant food ingredients are there. You run under a gas oven when the flame turns on and get blasted with heat. You drop into the kitchen and the scent of cheese and bread (I think?) are blown at you. You hide under a cart and and the giant wheels on either side start turning when you move. A mop gets flung your way and water sprays at you. It's all just so wonderfully well done.
• Delay! Now, as I mentioned in my only "bad" bullet above, the last time through I saw some things I didn't see because I was previously late to the scene. On that run, it felt a couple times that our vehicle was delayed. Maybe it was because I was there longer since my rat was first to arrive, but I don't think so. But here's the thing... if there was a delay... the ride didn't freeze up. Instead it seemed as though the scene I was in got extended. There's rats opening a bottle of champagne in your direction. On my 4th time through, the rat opening the bottle stopped and took some deep breaths several times before the cork popped. That didn't happen other times. Which makes me think there was a delay unloading vehicles or something, so things got backed up and our scene was extended on the fly. This is incredibly cool. And should be the future of attractions like this.
• The Queue. You're on the rooftops of Paris at night with a big Gusteau's billboards in the background. And you get to look in windows and such as you make your way to the load platform. It's beautiful. And sets up the ride in a really good way.

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... The last time I was in Orlando was September, 2019. The month prior to that, Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge opened at Disney's Hollywood Studios. It was wildly popular. I figured that I would avoid the park entirely and just wait a few months because I was returning in April of 2020. Surely the crowds would die down by then! But then the pandemic happened, and it would be five years before I returned to see it.

The land is still wildly popular and crowded. Existing on the planet "Batuu," the location is called "Black Spire Outpost" and takes place during the sequel trilogy timeframe. Its story says that it was once a vibrant, thriving place but eventually became a kind of backwater trading port that's home to smugglers and sketchy outlaws. AND KYLO REN?? Who is out recruiting visitors to become First Order operatives and trying to root out Resistance spies...

There's also places to shop and eat. My favorites being the Batuu Outdoor Market with little stalls that have souvenirs, and Oga's Cantina, a very cool bar where I got my Smiling Loth Cat Tiki Mug. The entire land is very well themed, and it feels like a physical place. Which is about all you could want as a Star Wars fan.

There are two major attractions in the land...

Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run...

The story of the ride is explained in the queue and goes something like this... The Falcon is on loan to Hondo Ohnaka by Chewbacca so that he can steal some energy cells from The First Order to help The Resistance. Hondo (which is a fantastic animatronic) is accompanied by the droid R5-P8 (both characters are from The Clone Wars animated series)...

You are recruited to pilot The Falcon to do the job. As you work your way through the queue, you get to look down at The Falcon, which is awesome because it means Disney actually built the entire exterior instead of what you can only see from the ground...

And it's not just the outside, when you finally make it to the actual ride, you're literally inside The Millennium Falcon!

Once you're in the cockpit with five other people, you're divided up into six versions of three jobs... Pilot, Gunner, or Engineer. The pilots are easily the best job. If you're seated on the left you move the ship left and right, if you're seated on the right you move the ship up and down. Gunners and Engineers just press buttons that light up. You're trying to hunt down a flying transport train to blow it open so you can steal the goods. Let's recap, shall we?

The Bad...

• Pilot Error. You all have to work together to get the best score. And some people aren't suited for flying a ship at all. Or, if you're me, you've never done it before. I've played video games, which helped, but it would take 3 or 4 runs as pilot before I'd be any good.
• Mash Them Buttons. It gets worse... the Gunners and Engineers have their control buttons to their sides, but all the cool stuff is happening out the cockpit window to the front. You kinda have to use your peripheral vision to watch for buttons to light up so you can press them. If you don't and just look at your buttons, you'll miss absolutely everything happening on the ride. If you just look out the window, you'll not know when to press stuff. Because of that, I liked pilot best, but it's a high-pressure job because so much is riding on your skill to drive the mission, which cuts the fun a bit unless you've got five other understanding people flying with you.

The Good...

• The Story. Everything going on is nicely planned. It feels plausible within the framework of the Star Wars Universe.
• The Characters. The animatronics for Hondo Ohnaka and R5-P8 are fantastic.
• The Ship. Imagineers did a phenomenal job making you think that you're actually in the original Millennium Falcon. So very, very cool. Every Star Wars fan's dream.

   
And then...

The other ride is Rise of the Resistance. And it's stunning. The first time around, anyway. Basically the idea is that you're recruited by Rey and BB-88 to rendezvous with General Leia Organa. You'll get there by boarding a shuttle with a bunch of other recruits. In a very cool sequence, because the shuttle then blasts off the planet (you see yourself leaving Batuu when you look out the windows). Alas, you're captured by Kylo Ren. You then get forced off your ship to be herded into prison cells to await interrogation. But then... rescue! You're put into droid-driven cars to get you to the escape pods. A wild adventure ensues.

The Bad...

• Reliability. I rode this, then went to ride it again thanks to my having got Extended Hours at Disney Studios. It broke down before we ever made it to the shuttle. Time waiting in the queue utterly wasted, with no Lightning Lane ticket for your trouble. And the ride goes down all the time. They need to drastically look into fixing these constant breakdowns.
• Busted. There are parts of the ride that broke early on and have never been fixed. At one point you're in your car riding past a big space battle as blaster canons fire above you. Except the motion of the cannons is broke. So your car is stopping, reversing, and starting to avoid cannons that aren't even doing anything. It's pretty shitty. The parks are making millions. Fix the damn ride.
• Viewpoints. If you get a good spot, you actually see things that you won't if you don't get a good spot. On the shuttle it's entirely possible to be shoved against the wall where you can't see the ship taking off... or see Mon Calamari in the command center. You may not even know what's going on. Once you're captured and inside the ship, there's a big battle in an AT-AT bay. Where Finn(!) is there to help rescue you. Except if you're in the wrong car or in the wrong spot of the car, you might not even see him.
• The Minor Animatronics. When you are in a room with an entire legion of stormtroopers, you're shocked at first. But then you see that only a couple of them are moving, and the movements are minor. They rotate their head a little bit or whatever. It's kinda silly. More movement would have really sold it, because you spend too much time staring at frozen figures and it doesn't work.
• Re-Ridability. The only reason to re-ride this thing is because you got bad spots and didn't see stuff. Otherwise it's not such a thrilling experience that you'll want to spend 60-90 minutes waiting to ride it again. The best thing about the ride are the massive sets that are shocking to behold when you are first exposed to them. The scale of it all is mind-blowing. But once you know what to expect? There's just not much else there. I did end up riding it twice (on another day since it was busted during my extra hours event), but the second time was kinda meh.

The Good...

• The Shuttle Takeoff. It's simple, but effective. The only thing that could have made it better would have been to have a rumble floor or something to sell the illusion harder.
• The Concept. The idea of you being captured by The First Order, and how they build the story around that is pretty cool.
• The Scale. When I say that the massive scale of some of the sets are mind-blowing, I really mean it. You get deposited into a room that's so huge you have a tough time wrapping your head around it. That's an amazing achievement.
• The Main Animatronics. The Admiral Calamari and Kylo Ren animatronics are stunning. Sure the Kylo figure has a derpy moment when a hole is blasted in the room (he looks like his feet have been nailed to the floor and it looks crazy-stupid) but they're great. Other figures like Finn don't have great movement, but at least they are always moving.
• The Effects. The effects that are working are pretty good. Some of them look expensive (like Kylo Ren coming at you as his lightsaber ignites, which is some kind of screen/practical lightsaber hybrid) and some of them look simple and inexpensive (like Kylo Ren's lightsaber plunging through the ceiling to cut a hole for him to get you). But none of them look cheap (except the ones that are broken, of course).

   
Overall, I'm quite happy with the job they did on Galaxy's Edge. If you're a Star Wars fan, it's an experience to savor. There are things which could have been done better, sure. But for what it is I'm impressed. I actually wish I would have had more time there so I could have eaten at Oga's Cantina. And maybe Docking Bay 7 and Ronto Roasters too. And I am still hoping for another attraction to draw me back so I can eat there one day.

UPDATE: I was curious to know how they managed to get so many people through the queue on Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run, because the ride only hold six people at a time. I ended up on a Reddit page which had a map that explains it, and I am completely blown away. Turns out there are not six people riding at a time, there's ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY! (plus there looks to be two ADA-compliant cockpits, so I guess it's actually a max of 132 riders possible?). There are four turntables with seven cockpits each. At any given time, one of the cockpits per turntable is loading while one is unloading while five are riding the ride. GENIUS! Just look at this...

While in the ride I guess I remember that there were people standing in different parts of the holo-chess room, I just didn't think about it much because we were waiting there to get in the line at the cockpit door. Even if I did realize it, I would have sworn there was just one cockpit behind each door! This actually explains a lot, because they have groups of riders stacked up at each door at all times. Not because they're just being "ready to go," but because they are constantly loading new groups as the turntable rotates into position. I don't have the words for how smart this is. They can keep a steady stream of guests riding and yet the guests really have no idea what's happening unless they Google it like I did! Kudos to Disney Imagineering!

>Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... "Nothing can stop us now! I'll tell ya how, we're gonna make it happen! Let's take a ride. And spend a day in the countryside!"

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Over at Disney's Hollywood Studios, they have opened Mickey & Minnie's Runaway Railway in the old Grauman's Chinese Theater replica. It opened in 2020, replacing the boring The Great Movie Ride (in Disneyland they built a new building in ToonTown)...

The concept of the ride is that you are going to the theater to watch the latest Mickey & Minnie cartoon... Perfect Picnic. There's not much to the queue, but you do occasionally get rotating digital posters for other Mickey & Minnie cartoons...

As you are watching the Perfect Picnic cartoon, an accident in the cartoon causes the screen to explode, allowing you to step inside the cartoon and board the train that Goofy was driving in it. But, uh-oh, the train comes un-hitched from Goofy's engine car, and away you go. From there you go through various scenes as Mickey and Minnie try to get your train car under control so they can continue on to their perfect picnic. Overall, it's a very well-done attraction that's pretty entertaining. So much to look at as you ride through, which makes it good for repeat viewings. A far, far better use of space than The Great Movie Ride it replaced. Let's sum it up, shall we?

The Bad...

• Reliability. The thing is always breaking down. I think it was down every day I was at Walt Disney World. Once it broke down while I was in the queue, for which I received a Lightning Lane good for everything except what you'd want it to be (Slinky Dog Dash and Rise of the Resistance). When I returned, the part of the ride where you watch the start of the cartoon and the screen explodes wasn't operational, and you just walk through the exploded screen (robbing you of the entire premise, which they are announcing over the speaker system).
• Unnecessarily Trackless? The ride cars are trackless, meaning that they can move entirely independently of each other and the ride itself. But there's only two times that this really comes into play. The first is when Goofy's engine car drives off without you. The second is when you somehow end up in Daisy Duck's dance studio and your car starts dancing with her instruction. Everything else feels very much like it could have been on a track. That's a bit of a bummer, and I really wish they had more space to take advantage of it.

The Good...

• The Style. I love, love, love the 2-D style of the new Mickey & Minnie shorts. It fits the characters flawlessly and is so much fun. Plus they're original white again instead of Caucasian, which means they're more relatable to more people. And the other characters look incredible too... Daffy, Pluto, Goofy... it's all amazing. And the way that they turned the 2-D animated characters into 3-D animatronics is darn good too. The whole ride is beautifully appointed 2-D turned into 3-D and I love it.
• The Music. I swear, I have not stopped hearing "Nothing can stop us now! I'll tell ya how, we're gonna make it happen! Let's take a ride. And spend a day in the countryside!" in my head since the first time I rode it. The tune they sing is a total bop, and it's so great that they put some thought into it to make it so memorable.
• The Location. Putting a movie ride in a movie park (and a cartoon ride in a cartoon land for Disneyland) means that the ride actually makes sense for where it sits. This is something obvious that's very quickly disappearing as Disney craps out intellectual property anywhere they can cram it in.

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I'm back to Real Life and am too busy getting caught up with life to blog... but never you fear, because an all new VERY SPECIAL WALT DISNEY WORLD EDITION of Bullet Sunday starts... now (and next Sunday, since there's too much stuff for just one!)...

   
• Hot Ones! Before we get down to it, I just have to share this amazing appearance by Donald Duck on Hot Ones. I love it when cool things like this happen...

   
• My Disney Experience App! One key piece of the Walt Disney Parks puzzle is their app. You use this app for absolutely everything from viewing all the plans you've made and managing restaurant reservations to ordering quick-serve meals and viewing attraction wait times...

It also tells you what's going on at the park... with things like parades, character meet-and-greets, and hotel activities at your fingertips. If you have a PhotoPass you can even view and download your photos. It sounds awful to be chained to an app all day long, but I love the thing. It's so remarkably handy. Especially for restaurant reservations. You get a push notification when your reservation is ready. You check in to confirm you got the notification. Then you let the app know when you're at the restaurant so somebody can take you to your table. It's just such a good experience. It's also cool how if you have a Lightning Lane MultiPass you can book another Lightning Lane after you scan in for the one you're at while standing in line. And of course you can use the app to gain access to the park and your hotel room. But there's something else that does this without having to take your phone out of your pocket.

   
• MagicBand+! A "MagicBand" is an RFID device that you wear on your wrist which allows you access to a number of things throughout your Disney experience. They used to be something you got free when you stay at a Disney resort, because it acted as a room key, park pass, and even a method of payment when your credit card is on file. But now you have to pay serious money to get one. Eventually "MagicBand 2" came out which looked more like a watch. Then, in 2022, Disney released "MagicBand+" which added interactivity with various statues throughout the parks and also had colored lights which would glow and change when you're near various attractions. Available in a slew of different designs, the new version is rechargeable so you can use it over and over. My Orange Bird band looks like this...

Full disclosure, this is not my first Orange Bird MagicBand+. These things are notorious for falling off your wrist, and that's what happened on Day One of my vacation. This is despite having a "BitBelt" on it to help it stay on (this is the third one I've lost). This is a common complaint, and it's more of an issue for some people than others. I honestly don't understand why Disney doesn't put a better clasp on them, because it's crazy stupid that my Apple Watch has never fallen off once, but the MagicBand+ falls off me with almost no effort. Fortunately, if you have an Apple Watch, you don't really need a MagicBand+. I was able to do everything except interact with the statues (which is kinda dumb) and look at the lights that flash during fireworks shows or in certain attractions. If you have a compatible Smart Watch, I'd take a pass.

   
• Resort Early Access! There are many benefits to staying at a Disney resort hotel that's on-property. It's so amazingly beneficial that I have long suggested to people that it's better to save money for an extra year to stay with Disney as opposed to saving money and staying at someplace cheaper outside the park. Though that's not as true now as it used to be because free airport transportation is no longer included. It used to be that you also got extra hours at night for a couple parks each week, but that perk is only available if you stay at one of the "Deluxe" properties now. What all Disney resort guests do get is 30 minutes early entry to all the Disney World parks. But the attraction you want to ride before everybody else may not be running until the park opens for everybody. Take for example the wildly popular "Slinky Dog Dash" roller coaster in Disney's Hollywood Studios. The line is open a half-hour early, sure. But it doesn't start operating until the park opens! So all you really get is to stand in line before everybody else and only have to wait 30-45 minutes instead of the usual 90 minutes. Still useful, but not as much as it could be.

   
• Worthless Events! I attended two of these. The first was Extended Hours at Disney's Hollywood Studios. Instead of having to leave when the park closes at 9:00, you get to stay until after midnight. It used to be that this was an incredible opportunity to ride attractions with very short waits. Ride "Tower of Terror" in ten minutes! But that's absolutely not true any more because Disney over-sells the event. Slinky Dog Dash was minimum 40-45 minutes for the entire event. Which is really shitty after paying a bunch of extra money. Half as long as during park hours, but not short enough to be worth the cost. The second event I got was the "Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party," which was also a bust. The intent was to go on rides while everybody else was watching the "Boo To You" parade. But the parade was canceled due to rain and, since this event was also oversold, ride lines weren't any shorter. You also have the opportunity to trick-or-treat for candy, but it's the same fun-size candy you get at a store, so it's definitely not worth the money. Kinda sad that Disney is overselling these things, because they used to be something worth paying for. Now they're just not.

   
• Keys to the Kingdom! I hadn't been on the "Keys to the Kingdom" tour in a while so I decided to do it again. This tour takes you behind the scenes of Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom. You get stories about how the park was designed and made. Trivia about various Easter eggs around the park. And an exclusive look at the "Utilidors" (service corridors) that are beneath the park...

The Utilidors are incredible. They allow garbage to be pulled out, stores and restaurants to be replenished, and employees to get to their posts... all without being seen by guests in the park. If you've been on all the rides and are looking for something new and different to do, I recommend the 5-hour tour. The price is very reasonable for the amount of time you get, and you also get to skip the line on a couple of rides! It's my second favorite non-attraction thing at WDW (after the "Wild Africa Trek" in Animal Kingdom).

   
• Character Moment! The character meet-and-greets are really well done. Most times they find people who are really into playing the character they're representing, and they're great with the guests. Sometimes the actors are better than others, but at no point do they outright fail. At least not that I've seen. Where the failure came to me was when I saw Ariel (The Little Mermaid) appearing in the app, and Disney felt the need to qualify it with "Ariel (From the Live-Action Story)...

And it's like, come on. When Belle from Beauty and The Beast appears, they don't tell you that it's "Belle (In Her Peasant Dress)" instead of Belle in her more famous princess dress... or tell you whether it's Belle from the animated or live-action movie... so why is it necessary to qualify Animated (AKA WHITE) Ariel from Live-Action (AKA BLACK) Ariel? They are both equally valid Ariel characters! I can only guess that they wanted to head off complaints from parents who would be all "THAT'S NOT ARIEL! MY CHILD WANTS TO SEE WHITE ARIEL!" or whatever. Disappointing.

   
And tomorrow we'll resume with even more Walt Disney World commentary.

>Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I usually buy something for my cats to play with when I go on vacation.

After I got back from my trip to Disney World, I had to order a replacement Orange Bird MagicBand+, so I ordered a small plush for my cats so they had a souvenir as well. Except when I got it, the thing wasn't "small" at all. Orange Bird was as tall as my cats and maybe even a little taller! So there goes my plan where they (but mostly Jake) would be dragging him all over the house as they do with their other plushie toys.

Jenny ran back upstairs the minute she saw it. Jake, on the other hand, was curious...

He gave Orange Bird a couple sniffs. Batted at it once or twice. Then walked away...

Jake and Jenny both has been ignoring Orange Bird ever since.

Oh well. I tried.

As for myself? The souvenir I bought for me was a Grinning Loth Cat collectible tiki mug from Oga's Cantina at Galaxy's Edge...

The matte grey one from Walt Disney World Florida is not as cool as the glossy shaded brown one from Disneyland California, but I still love it.

And, as much as I'd love to set it out, I worry that it would then become another souvenir for my cats once one of them knocks it off a table or something. So it gets to be put in my glassware cabinet.

I've been to Walt Disney World many, many times because I used to have work there. Eventually I would only go into the parks to eat or get a haircut because I had rode all the attractions multiple times and don't really like standing in line. But Disney has added a bunch of stuff since I was there in September, 2019, so when I went to Orlando this time, I made a vacation out of it.

And I have some thoughts about what it takes to ride the attractions now-a-days...

Virtual Queue!
There are three rides at Walt Disney World that you can't just walk up and stand in line to ride... Tiana's Bayou Adventure, Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, and TRON: Lightcycle Run. The only way to ride them is to wake up at 7am and join a "Virtual Queue" so you can earn the right to then go stand in line. Can't get a spot? Then you have to wait until 1pm to see if you can grab one then. Can't get one of those spots? Then you're out of luck. At least that's the way it is for Tiana's Bayou Adventure. For the other two rides, there's another way which I'll get to below... all it takes is money, of course. On one level, I get it. Disney really doesn't want lines so long that they don't have space to fit them. But what a bummer to go all the way to Disney World and not be able to ride something you had your heart set on. That's a huge problem, but as long as Disney continues over-sells tickets, it's an unavoidable one.

A NECESSARY ASIDE: Remember FastPass?
Back in 1999, Disney introduced the FastPass. The goal was to reduce the time you spend in line waiting to ride the most popular attractions... which, as you can imagine, is a common complaint of guests. It's essentially a "virtual queue" where you go to the ride, get a ticket with a time on it, then return at that time. In the meanwhile you can go do something else. It was a thoughtful addition. And it was FREE. And if you stayed at certain Disney hotels, they gave you a couple "universal" FastPasses that would allow you to go on any FastPass attraction without having to get a ticket. After that was FastPass+ which allowed advanced reservations. That was eventually replaced with Genie+, where you could PAY to skip the lines. Needless to say, it sucked to have to pay money to have something that used to be free.

Leeloo Dallas Lightning Lane Multi-Pass!
Fast-forward to today, and Walt Disney World has unleashed an all new version of Lightning Lane Multi-Pass, which allow you to pay in advance to reserve attractions and experiences. You pay a daily fee, then get to reserve three Lightning Lanes for attractions that have them. After you use a Lightning Lane, you then immediately get to reserve another one for later in the day. It actually works very well... assuming you're willing to pay minimum $30 a day to use the feature. Not exactly cheap, and the price can go up depending on how busy the resort is and which park you visit. Alas, this means you really have to plan out your vacation in advance, because you want to reserve those Lightning Lanes as soon as you can because popular rides will lose all available windows quickly. You can reserve seven days in advance if you're staying at a Disney resort... three days in advance if you're not. Just another way that Disney can squeeze money out of you and make their parks a perk only rich people can enjoy to the fullest.

Individual Lightning Lane!
The most popular rides in all of Walt Disney World... Seven Dwarf's Mine Train, TRON Lightcycle Run, Avatar Flight of Passage, Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance, and Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind do not qualify for regular Multi-Pass Lightning Lanes. Oh no. You have to pay per ride to jump those lines. And it's ridiculously expensive... currently $12 to $25 per person, per ride. Don't want to spend 90 minutes waiting to ride Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance? Pay to skip the line. All the Virtual Queue slots taken for the day but you want to ride Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind? Pay to ride it. This is abhorrent. Disney is happy to take money from people who might have been saving their pennies for years in order to be able to afford to go... but if they can't chip in even more money to have access to certain rides, then it's entirely possible they are beyond their reach. Given the way this works, why the fuck doesn't Disney just go back to pay-per-ride with A-to-E tickets instead of promoting the pretense that you can pay one price and ride everything? Or, ha ha ha, start capping the number of tickets they sell so their parks aren't overflowing with so many people that you don't have a hope to ride stuff unless you've got additional money to do so.

And so...

I think the way that Disney pretends to be a vacation destination for families everywhere, but is actually a vacation destination that only the wealthy can truly enjoy to the fullest, is incredibly dishonest. Instead of thinking that you can buy a ticket, take your own food, stay at a cheap resort outside of the park, avoid souvenirs, and somehow afford to "do Disney World"... Disney should just be honest and charge higher prices up-front that allow people to realistically budget how much their trip will cost.

Because the nickel-and-diming... excuse me... the hundreds-and-hundreds-of-dollaring... Disney is doing right now is absolutely awful. Rich people will always have a better experience because money doesn't matter to them. I accept that. But people who are not rich shouldn't be made poorer because Disney is misrepresenting how much it costs to have the vacation they sell you in their brochures and ads.

That's anything but magical for the "most magical place on earth."

Since I've just returned from Walt Disney World, I think I'll come up with some Disney-related posts for a while.

And I'm going to start with my favorite Disney characters.

Favorite Disney Original Characters

1. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit
   
2. Orange Bird
   
3. Mickey Mouse
   
4. Donald Duck
   
5. Pluto
   

Best Disney Modern Characters

1. Stitch from Lilo and Stitch
   I have never been so immediately captivated by a character as I was with Stitch. The minute he appeared on screen, I knew that I would be obsessed with him. And I have been ever since.
2. Sulley from Monsters, Inc.
   Not only did John Goodman bring him to life with a beautiful subtlety that somehow topped his great performance just two years earlier in The Emperor's New Groove, the character is one of the best-animated CGI characters ever made.
3. Genie from Aladdin
   Robin Williams owned the film. And that character was all him. His incredible improvisational skills and energy pushed Genie to the front of every scene he appeared in... but not to the detriment of the film.
4. Maui from Moana
   Based on the song You're Welcome! alone, you can't help but love Maui. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson threw himself 100% into the role and made Maui far more interesting than he might have been otherwise.
5. Luca from Luca
   It will forever be sad to me that Luca was kinda lost in the shuffle of the pandemic. Not only was it gorgeous in every way, it also had a compelling story that was wonderfully served by the main character.

Favorite Disney Princesses

1. Rapunzel from Tangled
   What makes Rapunzel my favorite? I don't know whether it's that her movie is one of my favorites... or whether it's Mandy Moore's ability to match the multi-dimensional aspect of her character both emotionally and lyrically... but probably both. When it comes to Disney princesses, it's tough to do much better than this.
2. Tiana from The Princess and The Frog
   That Disney made a love letter to my favorite American city, New Orleans, wouldn't have meant much if not for the fact that they crafted a terrific story to go with it. Tiana is smart, driven, capable and a huge part of what makes everything work so well. Even when she turns into a frog. Especially when she turns into a frog.
3. Moana from Moana
   I tend to like princesses that are more take-charge and proactive in the story, and that's definitely true for Moana. She had an interesting challenge, she met it head-on, and she was changed because of it.
4. Merida from Brave
   Another character that took charge and wasn't content to sit around and wait for some dippy prince to show up and fulfill her life's ambitin. Plus she was a lot of fun to watch in action.
5. Mulan from Mulan
   You probably guessed she would be here already. The ultimate kick-ass princess, Mulan also had one of my all-time favorite voice performances in Ming-Na Wen.

Favorite Disney Princes

1. Kristoff from Frozen
   It was refreshing to finally have a (future) prince who acted like a... well... actual guy. But the thing that makes Kristoff appealing is that he so effortlessly subverts toxic masculinity tropes to be a positive example of what an actual guy should be.
2. Aladdin from Aladdin. I love that Aladdin only became a prince because he married a princess. Before that he was a "street rat" who had a life that was anything but royal. That guy worked hard to woo a princess who wasn't going to put up with his crap if he wasn't the genuine article and somebody worthy of her time.
   
3. Naveen from The Princess and the Frog
   Okay, just like I preferred Beast over Prince Adam, I preferred Naveen when he was a frog... and he was such a fun character as a frog. But Naveen has some nuance to him that at least made him interesting in human form too. So much better than Prince Adam, who might as well have been a doorknob. How Belle didn't immediately lose interest when Beast went away and Adam appeared I don't know.
4. Flynn Rider from Tangled
   Though sometimes annoying, Flynn would likely be a contender for the top spot because he's just so fully-realized and funny... and is actually a huge part of the story for once. If not for the fact that he's voiced by Zachary Levi, whom just seems to be getting worse and worse, he would likely rank higher. From being anti-vax during a fucking pandemic to his stupid-ass comments about the actors strike (actors, mind you, who were fighting for him to not be exploited by AI and be paid fairly too), he kinda ruins the character. And this is despite the fact that he did an amazing job voicing Flynn. I'm just happy that I had some years with the movie before he went all problematic.
5. Eric from The Little Mermaid
   Up until Eric happened, there weren't many prince characters who had much to do in the film. They just kinda showed up to kiss the princess and wake her up (Sleeping Beauty) or kiss the princess and wake her up (Snow White) or whatever. Eric actually had stuff to do that meant something.

Best Disney Villains

1. Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove
   Eartha. Kitt. Despite being a more comedic villain than anything truly scary, she was a great villain through and through. She made that movie. The Emperor's New Groove would have still been entertaining, but not the level of greatness it reached.
2. Ursula from The Little Mermaid
   Pat. Carroll. That woman was such a treasure, and the way she brought Ursula to life was no easy feat. The character was just so bad-ass and over-the top evil, you would have rooted for Ariel even if Ariel was not entirely good. That's the mark of a real Disney villain!
3. Scar from The Lion King
   Jeremy. Irons. I swear, the more times I watch The Lion King the more I'm convinced that Scar steals the entire movie. Which is a tall order given that James Earl Jones is in it!
4. Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty
   Eleanor Audley, whose voice was so wonderfully distinct that she actually voiced two Disney villains (she was also Lady Tremaine in Cinderella), brought a menace to the screen that you could actually feel.
5. Jafar from Aladdin
   The character was just so deliciously evil. So much so that Aladdin would have been a very different movie if his parrot Iago wasn't there to temper his menace with some humor.

Best Disney Sidekicks

1. Hei Hei from Moana
   The only thing more hilarious than the hapless, disturbed chicken himself is the fact that they got Alan Tudyk to voice his clucking. There's no scene he appears in that Hei Hei isn't stealing the show.
2. Dug from Up
   Dug was hilarious when he appeared in Up, but where he really shines is his spin-off cartoons that appeared on Disney+. Talking animals in Disney features are normalized, but here they actually gave him a reason to be talking (science!) which was a nice change of pace.
3. Sven from Frozen
   It's entirely possible that I'm projecting my love for Kristoff onto his faithful reindeer, but I honestly don't think that Kristoff's appeal would have been as great if not for what the other half of this comedy duo brought to the team.
4. Ray from The Princess and the Frog
   Jim Cummings, who has voiced such iconic characters as Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, Monterey Jack, Darkwing Duck, and the singing voice of Scar(!), plus the Tasmanian Devil(!!) took a huge left turn to voice a Cajun accent for Ray. And though the character has been criticized as being a negative Cajun stereotype, I'd argue that he's one of the wisest, bravest Disney characters yet created. And if you've seen the film, then you'd know that his loyalty is second to none. Easily one of the most positive sidekicks we've seen.
5. Pascal from Tangled
   Had I the room, I would have added both Maximus and Pascal to the list, but if forced to choose I'd give the edge to Pascal just because I love how he was animated. His range of emotions was surprisingly deep for such a little guy, and he added to the story in meaningful ways rather than being a distraction from it. But the real kicker? He is responsible for killing the villain at the end! Crazy! But so very un-Disney and cool. I just wish they had given him more to do.
6. Dory from Finding Nemo
   What's odd is that I preferred Dory to Marlin or Nemo. Ellen gave her a personality that made her more interesting, and her faulty memory made her far more interesting.
7. Iago from Aladdin
   They wanted a grating, annoying sidekick for Jafar, and it's impossible to get more annoying and grating than Gilbert Gottfried. As I mentioned above, Iago taking the edge off of Jafar made Jafar be able to be much more evil.
8. Mushu from Mulan
   Oh come on. It's Eddie Murphy. He was perfectly cast for the part and made it fairly easy to ignore that the character was woefully out of place in the actual story. Plus he miraculously managed to not let Cri-Kee (the cricket) upstage him.
9. Abu from Aladdin
   Who doesn't love a monkey? But better than that, he wasn't just a sidekick, he was an important part of the story, and his moments with Magic Carpet are some of my favorite in the film.
10. Dante from Coco
    The derpy puppy from Coco was loyal to an extreme degree and played so well against the main character with his flappy tongue and mindlessly happy attitude. There was a Dante plastic statue I saw that I would have bought if I could have found one. That's not something I say about a lot of Disney characters!

Whoa! Better put those Mouseketeer ears back on! Turns out there's a surprise PART THREE of a very special, all new D23 Edition of Bullet Sunday on Tuesday focusing on the TV and movies stuff starts... now...

Yesterday afternoon when I took a minute for lunch I saw that Disney is confirming that in order to make room for Cars Frontierland, they're plowing over Rivers of America and Tom Sawyer Island!

I admit to being more than a little shocked. Those are staples of the "Disney park experience" in America, and I really thought that both Cars Frontierland and Villains Land would be dropped in behind Frontierland like this...

But nope! We don't know exactly how the configuation will be, but it's probably something more like this maybe...

Now, when it comes to Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World, you can kinda get away with paving under Rivers of America and Tom Sawyer Island. It's just an abstract of the West Coast original. But if Disney announced that they were paving over Rivers of America and Tom Sawyer Island AT DISNEYLAND?!? Disney fans would probably burn the place to the ground. That was dug out by Walt Disney Himself, by God, and nobody better touch it!

   
In Disney other news...

I skipped over some important news concerning Disney Cruise Lines. They announced four additional new ships ON TOP OF the four they have being built and the five that are in operation. That's a total of thirteen ships. That's a lot of ships. But DCL is a very popular way to cruise, so I guess we shouldn't be surprised...

My mom loved cruises, and we actually cruised with Disney once. It was a fantastic cruise... and I'm saying that as somebody who is not a big fan of them. There's many, many things that Disney does right which made the experience great by comparison.

My favorite is that even though you shift to different themed dining rooms from night to night (which is so cool), your wait staff stays the same. And it made a huge difference. I loved the pizza on the ship. One night while mom and I were at dinner, I mentioned that I wish pizza was on the menu. Not only did the wait staff say "We can do that!"... they asked me every other night if I wanted to have some pizza again. Most of the times, I took them up on it, because I'd rather have pizza than bread. By the end of the cruise, I was so spoiled by my service team that I was more than a little depressed at our last dinner together. On other ships, the servers were just there and not much else. Even if their service was fantastic, you were on to other servers next time and it was forgotten.

My second favorite thing about DCL is that they have character meet-and-greets. As a massive Mickey Mouse fan, I absolutely took advantage of the opportunity to have my photo taken with him. One night at dinner I wore my Mickey sweatshirt and Mickey went ape-shit pointing and laughing at it... pantomiming "THAT'S MEEEEE!" and then he wanted a guy at our table to take a photo of us (pay no attention to how drunk I am in this photo)...

Mom made friends with Mickey, Minnie, Chip and Dale, Goofy, and... PLUTO!

Yeah. It was pretty great. Like when I met him the following day and he once again freaked out that I had him on my shirt...

My mom, on the other hand, loved Donald Duck (because he was also in the Navy) and after she explained that to Donald, he ran and got her when the YMCA started playing so they could do the YMCA dance together...

Now, I'm not saying that mom didn't have fun on the other cruises we took together. She always had fun. It's what made it so fun to take trips with her. But when I say that dancing with Donald Duck was a high that lasted the entire trip... well... it did. She talked about it for years after. It didn't make the entire cruise for her. But it came close.

There are many, many other great things about cruising with Disney. The most surprising being... sure there's kids onboard, but Disney puts a lot of effort into keeping adult guests kinda separate so they're not bothered. Since you rotate with your same table and service staff to every restaurant, mom and I had the same all adult table every night. Which was great. There's also places that adults can escape where children aren't allowed. Which is also great. I don't recall ever being bothered by any kids the whole cruise.

And also the ships are beautifully appointed and unique...

And, yes, that actually is a Dale Chihuly chandelier hanging in the atrium there.

But anyway... my days of cruising are likely over. I only ever did it because mom liked it. But if I ever were to cruise again, it would probably be with Disney.

But anyway... this should be the final part to my D23 commentary. But you never know. Tomorrow Disney could announce that they are blowing up the Matterhorn and you'll have to go find those Mouseketeer ears once again.