It's the first Bullet Sunday of the year... and I don't have any bullets! Probably because I've done nothing but work for the past five days. Oh sure I have ideas for bullets, but I've decided to post a monkey juggling giant OREO cookies instead...

And, since it's Bullet Sunday, I guess I better take care of that too. Here's to another week...

It's the easiest blog post of the year, when I get to re-visit all my entries for the past 365 days and see just how pointless and futile my life really is! Much like last year, a lot of my time was spent traveling. I racked up 164,000 air miles on seven airlines. Unlike last year, I had only minimal flight delays and cancellations, which was a pleasant surprise.

And now the traditional random Blogography snippets of crap from the year that was 2009...

JANUARY

• Admitted I have a Twitter addiction.

• Goofed around at SeaWorld with mah Hilly-Sue in San Diego, where we rode the Buckets of Death, learned to BELIEVE, and joined the cult of Shamu the whale...

Seriously, how cute are we in this photo?

• Was traumatized when Ms. Sizzle and I were sexually assaulted by Etta James at her Seattle concert.

FEBRUARY

• Was nearly brought to tears at the Nazi Documentation Museum in Cologne, Germany.

• Traveled to the beautiful island of Mallorca in Spain to visit the new Hard Rock Cafe there and see the sights...

• Revealed ten honest things about me.

• Suffered from my drug abuse.

• Said goodbye to a friend and learned what is really important...

MARCH

• Disapproved of First Lady Michelle Obama's wardrobe choices...

• Spent a weekend goofing off in Seattle with my BFF Vahid.

• Re-lived my life as one of the Spice Girls...

• Had an absolute blast meeting up with friends in Davedon...

• Experienced the "magic" of Stonehenge...

• Back to my favorite city on earth... Davenburgh!

• Had the worst airport layover in the history of airport layovers.

APRIL

• More blogger meet awesomeness at Dave York...

Dawg and Poppy with B.E. Earl.

Robin, Libragirl, B.E. Earl, Me, and Cissa!

• Tried my hand at some inappropriate Broadway reviews.

• Reveled in the glory that is TequilaCon Santa Fe...

MAY

• Expressed my disappointment with the current state of Cracker Jack prizes.

• Explained a problem with my MASSIVE NOZZLE.

• Gave a behind-the-scenes look at the Blogography Show when Whall was a guest...

• Took a trip to Savannah, Georgia and visited the magnificent Bonaventure Cemetery.

• Released the most important iPhone app ever...

• Visited mah Hilly-Sue in her new home of Orlando where we got to be pirates and then go see Jesus at The Holy Land Experience.

• Started up the Lil' Dave and Lil' Wayne MAC VS. PC cartoons...

• Told ignorant asshole Paul Marx of the Baltimore Sun to go fuck himself.

JUNE

• Attended the spectacular ConFab blogger event in Lexington, Kentucky.

• Debuted Baby Dave and Naughty Monkey for a guest-post on Anissa's blog...

JULY

• Finally saw Duran Duran in concert with my sister.

• Took a look at my wild-and-crazy days of youth...

• Revealed the secret of How to Blog the Blogography Way.

• Joined in on Blogathon 2009 where I live-blogged new DaveToons every half-hour to benefit Doctors Without Borders.

• Had the opportunity of a lifetime when I went to see Hayao Miyazaki speak in L.A. with blogging buddy Howard from The Web Pen Blog.

AUGUST

• Ah, the wonder of exploring the biggest rock in the world and the joy of attending Davelanta3...

• Explained the Love Equality Formula and said NOH8 the best way I know how...

• Had the adventure of a lifetime when I guest-posted at Puntabulous...

• Gave evidence as to why I was the most adorable baby ever.

• Another fantastic blogger meet, this time at Daveorado...

• Got to see my favorite band ever, Depeche Mode, in Salt Lake City with WarpedGirl 16 and Marty from Banal Leakage!

SEPTEMBER

• Hit Las Vegas with the TequilaCon Planning Posse for event planning, debauchery, and ELVIS...

• Took an amazing cruise to Alaska where I walked on a glacier, then went rafting with eagles, and ended up hiking with bears...

• Got to see one of my favorite bands, the Pet Shop Boys, at their Seattle concert.

• Explored my virtual career path...

OCTOBER

•Just one word: pooferflargen.

• And then there was the life-altering experience of attending Bitchsterdam...

• Showed off my HUGE package.

• Said my peace on equality.

• Finally got to see the adorable spawn of The Bombshell and The Ninja in SoCal.

• Could there possibly be anything better than three days at Disney World with mah Hilly-Sue?

• I dunno. But swimming with dolphins with Robyn and Rachel comes close...

• And so does a wild night at Avitaween and non-stop pussy...

• Went Hard Rock Cafe hopping in Washington DC and Baltimore.

NOVEMBER

• Learned the Tao of Bullshit with Josherz...

• Made some tentative plans for 2012...

• Back to Atlanta for time with friends and Freestylin' Coke.

DECEMBER

• Not a lot, really. I did write this massive blog entry though.

   
And that was 2009. Everybody have a safe and happy New Year as we head into 2010, and thanks for reading!

All I did today was eat.

Seriously, that's it... there's nothing else to report.

To all those who celebrate...

Can we really risk the alternatives?

To see all of the Lil' Dave Mac vs. Lil' Wayne PC ads, click here!

Never underestimate the power of the media to escalate sensationalistic news to absurd heights.

Or the internet to take it even higher.

Bleh.

It has been one of those days where nothing went right.

I was hopeful that things would improve once I finally got home tonight, but that was just wishful thinking.

I feel buried.

And lost.

And alone.

Fortunately, I'll be leaving soon so I can escape from it all... for just a little while, anyway.

Oh hai!

Work on my blog templates continues. If you notice any issues, please leave a comment. If you can't leave a comment, please send me an email (my address is in the sidebar of every page) so I can try and get it fixed. Thanks!

This morning I was awakened by leg cramps from being too cold. Something happened to the weather while I was gone, forcing me to break out some blankets for my bed at 2:00am. I guess this means summer is over, and I'm kind of sad about that. All I can think about is all the things I wanted to do that never happened this year. Now there's no time left... the days are flying by, and it's going to be 2010 before we know it.

I'd make plans to put everything off until then, but that strategy didn't work out too well when I tried it in 2008.

Apparently, I'm in a losing battle with time...

But, then again, I guess that's a battle nobody ever really wins.

Except zombies, of course...

If there's a benefit to being undead, that would be it.

Well, that and all those delicious brains you get to eat