It's the easiest blog post of the year, when I get to re-visit all my entries for the past 365 days and see just how pointless and futile my life really is! Much like last year, a lot of my time was spent traveling. I racked up 164,000 air miles on seven airlines. Unlike last year, I had only minimal flight delays and cancellations, which was a pleasant surprise.

And now the traditional random Blogography snippets of crap from the year that was 2009...

JANUARY

• Admitted I have a Twitter addiction.

• Goofed around at SeaWorld with mah Hilly-Sue in San Diego, where we rode the Buckets of Death, learned to BELIEVE, and joined the cult of Shamu the whale...

Seriously, how cute are we in this photo?

• Was traumatized when Ms. Sizzle and I were sexually assaulted by Etta James at her Seattle concert.

FEBRUARY

• Was nearly brought to tears at the Nazi Documentation Museum in Cologne, Germany.

• Traveled to the beautiful island of Mallorca in Spain to visit the new Hard Rock Cafe there and see the sights...

• Revealed ten honest things about me.

• Suffered from my drug abuse.

• Said goodbye to a friend and learned what is really important...

MARCH

• Disapproved of First Lady Michelle Obama's wardrobe choices...

• Spent a weekend goofing off in Seattle with my BFF Vahid.

• Re-lived my life as one of the Spice Girls...

• Had an absolute blast meeting up with friends in Davedon...

• Experienced the "magic" of Stonehenge...

• Back to my favorite city on earth... Davenburgh!

• Had the worst airport layover in the history of airport layovers.

APRIL

• More blogger meet awesomeness at Dave York...

Dawg and Poppy with B.E. Earl.

Robin, Libragirl, B.E. Earl, Me, and Cissa!

• Tried my hand at some inappropriate Broadway reviews.

• Reveled in the glory that is TequilaCon Santa Fe...

MAY

• Expressed my disappointment with the current state of Cracker Jack prizes.

• Explained a problem with my MASSIVE NOZZLE.

• Gave a behind-the-scenes look at the Blogography Show when Whall was a guest...

• Took a trip to Savannah, Georgia and visited the magnificent Bonaventure Cemetery.

• Released the most important iPhone app ever...

• Visited mah Hilly-Sue in her new home of Orlando where we got to be pirates and then go see Jesus at The Holy Land Experience.

• Started up the Lil' Dave and Lil' Wayne MAC VS. PC cartoons...

• Told ignorant asshole Paul Marx of the Baltimore Sun to go fuck himself.

JUNE

• Attended the spectacular ConFab blogger event in Lexington, Kentucky.

• Debuted Baby Dave and Naughty Monkey for a guest-post on Anissa's blog...

JULY

• Finally saw Duran Duran in concert with my sister.

• Took a look at my wild-and-crazy days of youth...

• Revealed the secret of How to Blog the Blogography Way.

• Joined in on Blogathon 2009 where I live-blogged new DaveToons every half-hour to benefit Doctors Without Borders.

• Had the opportunity of a lifetime when I went to see Hayao Miyazaki speak in L.A. with blogging buddy Howard from The Web Pen Blog.

AUGUST

• Ah, the wonder of exploring the biggest rock in the world and the joy of attending Davelanta3...

• Explained the Love Equality Formula and said NOH8 the best way I know how...

• Had the adventure of a lifetime when I guest-posted at Puntabulous...

• Gave evidence as to why I was the most adorable baby ever.

• Another fantastic blogger meet, this time at Daveorado...

• Got to see my favorite band ever, Depeche Mode, in Salt Lake City with WarpedGirl 16 and Marty from Banal Leakage!

SEPTEMBER

• Hit Las Vegas with the TequilaCon Planning Posse for event planning, debauchery, and ELVIS...

• Took an amazing cruise to Alaska where I walked on a glacier, then went rafting with eagles, and ended up hiking with bears...

• Got to see one of my favorite bands, the Pet Shop Boys, at their Seattle concert.

• Explored my virtual career path...

OCTOBER

•Just one word: pooferflargen.

• And then there was the life-altering experience of attending Bitchsterdam...

• Showed off my HUGE package.

• Said my peace on equality.

• Finally got to see the adorable spawn of The Bombshell and The Ninja in SoCal.

• Could there possibly be anything better than three days at Disney World with mah Hilly-Sue?

• I dunno. But swimming with dolphins with Robyn and Rachel comes close...

• And so does a wild night at Avitaween and non-stop pussy...

• Went Hard Rock Cafe hopping in Washington DC and Baltimore.

NOVEMBER

• Learned the Tao of Bullshit with Josherz...

• Made some tentative plans for 2012...

• Back to Atlanta for time with friends and Freestylin' Coke.

DECEMBER

• Not a lot, really. I did write this massive blog entry though.

   
And that was 2009. Everybody have a safe and happy New Year as we head into 2010, and thanks for reading!

Every year I tell myself that I'm going to take a blog vacation the week between Christmas and New Years, and every year I forget about it. Instead, I just slog through the blogging lull with lame crap that I'd just as soon forget because it's always the exact same thing: I'm working my guts out and don't have the time or energy to write about anything when most everybody is avoiding blogs anyway.

Especially today, when I came home early from work because I was sick. It feels like food poisoning, but I don't know of anything I could have eaten that would have poisoned me. All I've had is a Carnation Instant Breakfast drink, a handful of Tim's Cascade Potato Chips, a can of Coke, and some Uncle Ben's Brown & Wild Rice. Perhaps it's not food poisoning and I've got radiation poisoning or swine flu or something.

Anyway... since tomorrow I will be looking back at all things 2009 here on Blogography, I thought that today I'd take a look ahead. Here's just a few things I'm looking forward to in 2010...

• Whatever Apple Is Cooking Up Next. Whether it's the much-rumored iSlate tablet computer... or something completely different... there always seems to be something really cool just around the corner for an Apple Whore like me.

&bull The iPhone Being Unchained from AT&T: If Apple has any sense at all, they won't renew their exclusivity with the bad service poster-boy that has become AT&T. To be honest, I can recall one... just one... problem with their service when trying to make a call to another iPhone user in Las Vegas this year. Other than that, I've had no worse service than I've had with Verizon. But competition would be a good thing, and I can only hope iPhone service will get even a little bit cheaper because of it.

• Blog Parties: There are two blogger events I cannot miss each year: TequilaCon and Avitaween. The venue for TequilaCon 2010 was just announced as Vancouver on April 24th, and I'm already counting the days.

• Iron Man 2. One of my favorite movies of 2008 was Iron Man and I'm hoping that the sequel is just as good.

• Movie Magic. In addition to Iron Man 2, we also get Tron Legacy, Toy Story 3, Arrested Development: The Film, and the massive casting coupe that is The Expendables, starring Sylvester Stalone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, and the late Brittany Murphy. Good times.

• Invincible. I'm kind of falling out of touch with comic books lately, but one I never miss is Robert Kirkman's Invincible. This year "The Viltrumite War" which has been anticipated for nearly 70 issues, finally begins. I have no doubt that it will be the comic event of the year.

• Re-Reading Calvin and Hobbes. Every time I see The Complete Calvin and Hobbes sitting on my bookshelf, I have to resist the urge to read it. I haven't read it since it was released in 2005, and am trying my best to forget as much about the strip as I can so it will feel new again. But I could never forget the magic. 2010 is the year.

• Someplace New. Every year I set a goal to travel to someplace I've never been before... this year is no different. I have no idea where I'll end up, but that's the best part.

• The Flying Car. Because, seriously, isn't it about time?

• Another Year of Blogography. Yeah, I know. Blogs are dying all over the place, people are writing in their blogs less and less, and new kids on the block like Twitter are taking over. But how can I give this up?

A new year is just a day away...

Or, probably more like "Bullet Monday" since I refuse to pay the outrageous fees that some airports charge for internet access so I can post this on time.

• Why I love Avitaween: Reason #87. It may sound insane to fly across the country for a Halloween Party, but if you've ever experienced Halloween with The Avitables, you'd know it's actually one of the easiest decisions I can make. It's more of an event than a party, and the work that goes into making it so special is positively mind-boggling. My camera battery died, so I don't have any photos myself, but there are plenty showing up on the Avitaween Flickr Group. Thanks so much to Adam & Amy for yet another fantastic evening, and I'm already looking forward to next year!

• Why I love pussy: Reason #1240 This past week staying at Casa de Hilly, I had grown accustomed to her cat being anywhere and everywhere I go. Brushing my teeth? Pussy in the sink. Going to bed? Pussy on the pillow. Writing in my blog? Pussy on my laptop. Any time we were home, Jinkies was a constant presence...

Pussy in the Bed...

Pussy on the Computer...

Pussy in the Sink...

Pussy Attacking Under the Door...

Now that I'm home and pussy-free, I admit that it's a little bit depressing to not have that kind of constant attention. One of these days I guess I need to get a pussy of my own.

• Why I loathe John McCain: Reason #2368. It is no secret that I despise John McCain on every possible level. Most of it has to do with his betrayal of POW/MIAs (as I documented in a previous entry), but there is a laundry list of other reasons I wish he would disappear off the face of the earth... not one of them having to do with his political affiliation (as I've said before, I did vote for some Republicans in the last election, mostly on local races). Every single day I'm eternally grateful such a raging asshole never became President of The United States of America. Any disappointments I've had over President Obama's broken promises and meandering around on the issues that got him elected are immediately offset when I think of how fucked this country would be if McCain got elected. And now there's yet another reason... he is so busy suckling from the teat of the Telecom Lobby that even National Security falls by the wayside. I will be the first to admit this conclusion is a bit of a stretch, but it does make a valid point of showing how McCain is more than happy to speak out on issues he knows absolutely nothing about... so long as the money is right. Just politics as usual in the USA, I guess.

• Why I am nearing a breakdown: Reason #642346 After three flights and a car-drive home, I'll have just over eight hours to work, sleep, eat, and re-pack before heading back to the airport for a flight returning me to the East Coast. It sounds bad, but I've had much worse. The problem is that the weather is starting to change, which makes flying a hit-and-miss game of "will they or won't they cancel my flight?" The weather forecast is calling for SNOW back home starting next week, which is an added level of travel horror I'm not really ready to deal with just yet. It seems like only yesterday that a quick 3-day trip turned into an 8-day adventure when snow caused the airports to shut down (but it was actually last December). Fun. Fun. Fun.

And thus ends another travel edition of Bullet Sunday, this time written from somewhere over North Dakota (I think).

Your beloved King and Queen of the People's Republic of Blogistan made an appearance at Avitaween tonight...

Thanks to The Avitables for yet another genius Halloween party extravaganza!

I can't blog today because I'm flying all the way to Florida for a visit with Hilly-Sue followed by random encounters with other bloggers and a big Halloween party.

There are definitely worse ways to spend a week.

Avitable has announced this year's theme for his annual Halloween bash, and it's a good one: INVADED!

Like last year, Adam asked me to create a T-shirt design to help raise money for the party, and with an awesome theme like "alien invasion," I could hardly say no. The challenge would be to find a new way of having fun with the DaveToon characters so that I wouldn't be bored. After a little thought, I decided to try an old "Sci-Fi Comic Book" design and see if I could make that work. All the best alien invasion stuff could be found in the pulp comics and films of yesteryear, so it seemed like a good fit.

After an hour of goofing around, this is what I came up with...

If you want to support the Avitaween party (or just want to look really cool), you can buy the shirt at Adam's Zazzle Shop.

If you want a behind-the-scenes peek at how the design was created, I've got that in an extended entry...