It's the easiest blog post of the year, when I get to re-visit all my entries for the past 365 days and see just how pointless and futile my life really is! Much like last year, a lot of my time was spent traveling. I racked up 164,000 air miles on seven airlines. Unlike last year, I had only minimal flight delays and cancellations, which was a pleasant surprise.

And now the traditional random Blogography snippets of crap from the year that was 2009...

JANUARY

• Admitted I have a Twitter addiction.

• Goofed around at SeaWorld with mah Hilly-Sue in San Diego, where we rode the Buckets of Death, learned to BELIEVE, and joined the cult of Shamu the whale...

Seriously, how cute are we in this photo?

• Was traumatized when Ms. Sizzle and I were sexually assaulted by Etta James at her Seattle concert.

FEBRUARY

• Was nearly brought to tears at the Nazi Documentation Museum in Cologne, Germany.

• Traveled to the beautiful island of Mallorca in Spain to visit the new Hard Rock Cafe there and see the sights...

• Revealed ten honest things about me.

• Suffered from my drug abuse.

• Said goodbye to a friend and learned what is really important...

MARCH

• Disapproved of First Lady Michelle Obama's wardrobe choices...

• Spent a weekend goofing off in Seattle with my BFF Vahid.

• Re-lived my life as one of the Spice Girls...

• Had an absolute blast meeting up with friends in Davedon...

• Experienced the "magic" of Stonehenge...

• Back to my favorite city on earth... Davenburgh!

• Had the worst airport layover in the history of airport layovers.

APRIL

• More blogger meet awesomeness at Dave York...

Dawg and Poppy with B.E. Earl.

Robin, Libragirl, B.E. Earl, Me, and Cissa!

• Tried my hand at some inappropriate Broadway reviews.

• Reveled in the glory that is TequilaCon Santa Fe...

MAY

• Expressed my disappointment with the current state of Cracker Jack prizes.

• Explained a problem with my MASSIVE NOZZLE.

• Gave a behind-the-scenes look at the Blogography Show when Whall was a guest...

• Took a trip to Savannah, Georgia and visited the magnificent Bonaventure Cemetery.

• Released the most important iPhone app ever...

• Visited mah Hilly-Sue in her new home of Orlando where we got to be pirates and then go see Jesus at The Holy Land Experience.

• Started up the Lil' Dave and Lil' Wayne MAC VS. PC cartoons...

• Told ignorant asshole Paul Marx of the Baltimore Sun to go fuck himself.

JUNE

• Attended the spectacular ConFab blogger event in Lexington, Kentucky.

• Debuted Baby Dave and Naughty Monkey for a guest-post on Anissa's blog...

JULY

• Finally saw Duran Duran in concert with my sister.

• Took a look at my wild-and-crazy days of youth...

• Revealed the secret of How to Blog the Blogography Way.

• Joined in on Blogathon 2009 where I live-blogged new DaveToons every half-hour to benefit Doctors Without Borders.

• Had the opportunity of a lifetime when I went to see Hayao Miyazaki speak in L.A. with blogging buddy Howard from The Web Pen Blog.

AUGUST

• Ah, the wonder of exploring the biggest rock in the world and the joy of attending Davelanta3...

• Explained the Love Equality Formula and said NOH8 the best way I know how...

• Had the adventure of a lifetime when I guest-posted at Puntabulous...

• Gave evidence as to why I was the most adorable baby ever.

• Another fantastic blogger meet, this time at Daveorado...

• Got to see my favorite band ever, Depeche Mode, in Salt Lake City with WarpedGirl 16 and Marty from Banal Leakage!

SEPTEMBER

• Hit Las Vegas with the TequilaCon Planning Posse for event planning, debauchery, and ELVIS...

• Took an amazing cruise to Alaska where I walked on a glacier, then went rafting with eagles, and ended up hiking with bears...

• Got to see one of my favorite bands, the Pet Shop Boys, at their Seattle concert.

• Explored my virtual career path...

OCTOBER

•Just one word: pooferflargen.

• And then there was the life-altering experience of attending Bitchsterdam...

• Showed off my HUGE package.

• Said my peace on equality.

• Finally got to see the adorable spawn of The Bombshell and The Ninja in SoCal.

• Could there possibly be anything better than three days at Disney World with mah Hilly-Sue?

• I dunno. But swimming with dolphins with Robyn and Rachel comes close...

• And so does a wild night at Avitaween and non-stop pussy...

• Went Hard Rock Cafe hopping in Washington DC and Baltimore.

NOVEMBER

• Learned the Tao of Bullshit with Josherz...

• Made some tentative plans for 2012...

• Back to Atlanta for time with friends and Freestylin' Coke.

DECEMBER

• Not a lot, really. I did write this massive blog entry though.

   
And that was 2009. Everybody have a safe and happy New Year as we head into 2010, and thanks for reading!