No time to lose, because a rapid-fire edition of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Puppy. The best thing I've seen all week...

"Roo the one-year-old rescued Golden Retriever who never had any toys, or so much as anything to chew, grew up imprisoned, starved and neglected. This is the first time she gets to choose her own toy at a pet shop."

   
• Assemble! Marvel superheroes may be absent from the LEGO Dimensions game... but that doesn't mean you won't be able to play something new with them...

So can't wait for this!

   
• BANNED! Microbeads are insanely stupid. I can't fathom who ever thought this crap was a good idea. Hopefully other states will follow California's lead in banning this toxic crap. In other California banning news... looks like SeaWorld San Diego will be closing down sooner rather than later. Can't imagine them surviving without their Killer attraction.

   
• Ad? After complaining about obstructive ads on the internet yesterday, I'm going to take a half-step back today. Because more and more I'm finding ads I actually like. Earlier this week I found one for gum that was pretty sweet. Yes, gum...

It's as if advertisers are finally realizing that we don't want to watch shitty commercials that suck!

   
• Morans. And speaking of ads I like, the inevitability of One Million Morons being bigoted assholes and condemning one of the best ads ever has come to pass. Not that anybody gives a fuck. "One Million Moms" (who are off target by 919,482 mothers) is about as effective at boycotts as a piece of shit is at not stinking. All they do is remind everybody that there are pathetic homophobes out there clutching their pearls and getting the vapors over something THAT DOESN'T EVEN AFFECT THEM. So yes. Let's save the children of the world... by protecting them from loving, stable homes.

   
• Poop! I'm not saying this product will change your life... but this product will change your life*...

*At least that part of your life spent pooping.

   
And... I'm bullet-poor. The end.

NOTE: To start the audio on a Vine video, you have to click on the little icon in the lower-right corner to turn mute off...

To stop a video from repeating after you've watched it... just click on it.

And then...

I won't be blogging today. I haven't got time because I had a day of power outage followed by a day of driving to Spokane and back followed by whatever the hell this shit is that I've got going on today.

Oh... and also because I'm catching up on the funniest damn thing I've seen on the internet in ages.

It all started when "How British People Shower" popped up on my Tumblr last weekend...

I've been laughing off and on all week just thinking about it.

Turns out the guy's name is Arthur, and he has a Vine channel that's comprised of screaming at traffic and hanging out with his daughter. Among other things. All of it hilariously funny. And usually hugely offensive.

And here's a follow-up to "How British People Shower"...

Genius.

Arthur had a daughter a while ago, and she turns up in a lot of his more recent stuff...

Awwww.

Life lessons need to start early.

Arthur is an expert at childcare...

Arthur is a lorry driver (truck driver) and a lot of his earlier Vines involve being very cross about London traffic...

Very cross indeed...

Everyday life with Arthur is always interesting too...

And Arthur does love his fans...

But not as much as he loves his girlfriend...

Maybe...

And his mum, of course...

So... if you're not easily offended, be sure to check out the rest of Arthur's Vine feed.

You're welcome!

Don't touch that back button... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Fighter. Before we get started... a huge thank you to the firefighters battling the very serious wildfires that have been plaguing us here in Central Washington State. The most serious being the Okanogan Complex fire, which is now the largest ever in state history (maps courtesy of the NIFC)...

Most of the smoke plaguing the valley where I live is from the Chelan fire, which is threatening a lot of people...

Three firefighters have already lost their lives. Hopefully these horrific fires will be contained before more lives are lost.

   
• Catastrophe! If you have Amazon Prime and don't mind a little adult-oriented humor, Catastrophe had me laughing all six episodes. When an American working in London accidentally gets an Irish woman pregnant, both their lives are turned up-side down...

The show's page is right here on Amazon.

   
• Naptime! Could the solution really be this easy?

Damn. Banned in Washington State!

   
• Noiseless? I've been a huge fan of the Imagenomic app called "Noiseware" which does a pretty darn good job of removing noise from photos. Now there's a new game in town... Macphun's "Noiseless"...

It seems to get me great results with little hassle. I don't know that it can completely replace Noiseware, but I'm sure glad to have it in my Photoshop toolbox. Here's an old photo of me, BEFORE and AFTER at 200%...

Yeah, it looks a little soft... but at 100% it's actually useable. Here's another...

Night shots don't fare quite as well as photos that have enough light... you get some clumping in solid areas... but still, pretty nice work for a one-click fix.

HELPFUL HINT: If you want to save 20% on Noiseless Pro, just put the app in your cart then abandon it. Eventually you'll get an email with a 20% off code. I got one... AFTER PURCHASING THE PROGRAM... which is kind of shitty, but my loss is your gain.

   
• In-App. Looks like I'm not the only one pissed off by all these apps having stupid-ass "in-app purchases"... Apple has been running ads featuring games with NO in-app purchase...

I wish there was a way to turn off apps with in-app purchase so they don't even appear in the iTunes Store. I never download them.

   
• Freedom. If I ever have the opportunity to kick the ever-loving shit out of Donald Trump, please look at it NOT as a heinous act of violence, but as me making America great again.

   
And... it's too hot for more bullets. BS out!

Sometimes people give you a helping hand.

Sometimes it's your turn to help them back.

   
Now isn't that the cutest thing you've seen all day?

When I heard there was going to be a Netflix series based on the cult movie Wet Hot American Summer starring the original cast, I was intrigued. Firstly, many in the cast have become massively successful in the fourteen years since the original film (Bradley Cooper, for example, had just started with Alias then, whereas now he's a major movie star). Secondly, the movie was a massive failure. And lastly, it's not a sequel... it's a frickin' prequel. That's right, even though the actors have aged a decade and a half since they first had the roles, they're actually playing younger than they originally did...

The age-defying angle is pretty funny.

Which is a good thing, because otherwise First Day of Camp isn't quit as funny as I was hoping for.

But the show is entertaining. And it wisely aims to provide backstory for the film. Mostly making sense along the way... assuming you've seen the original movie. If you haven't, many of the jokes will be over your head.

Ultimately, I think First Day of Camp was worth my valuable time (Josh Charles as a three-pop-collar-wearing preppy douche is worth the price of admission) but I admit to being disappointed that I didn't have as much fun in watching it as the cast did in making it.

If you've got a Netflix subscription, you should check it out. The first episode isn't that good, but things pick up in the second and start gelling around the halfway point (episode four of eight).

The final month of summer beings as another edition of Bullet Sunday starts... eventually...

   
• Sisko! The little feral kitten, Sisko, that I mentioned last week is till very very pregnant and... much to my surprise... hasn't had her babies yet. The poor thing looks even more confused, scared, and otherwise uncomfortable than last week, which is really saying something...

Hoping that she pops soon...

   
• 2oolander! At last... at long last... MUGATU SHALL HAVE HIS REVENGE!

At least I'm assuming as much since Will Ferrell is listed in the credits.

   
• Hippo! The San Diego Zoo has posted baby hippo photos to their Facebook page...

All baby animals are adorable. They just can't help it.

   
• Busters! When Kate McKinnon first appeared on SNL, I was not a fan. But I've slowly warmed up to her, and now fully expect her to be the standout in Ghostbusters. All the set pics have her looking more Egon than Egon...

As a remake of one of my favorite movies ever, I sure hope they manage to do the original justice.

   
• Honesty! It IS the best policy, after all...

   
No times for more bullets, Mr. Jones.

I'd write something today, but I'm entirely too obsessed with this video that was sent to me...

This is what the internet was made for.

Sometimes things just come together as if by magic.

Or divine intervention.

You've probably seen this viral sensation of Dutch punk singer David Achter de Molen (from the band John Coffey) catching a beer in mid-air while crowd-walking...

But you might not have seen the video interview with the guy who hurled the beer, which is almost as good...

Buy that man a drink.

UPDATE: It's science, bitch!

My eyes may be bruised and battered, but I'm glad to be alive... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Thanks, Obama! The president's speech at this year's White House correspondents' dinner was literally laugh-out-loud funny. Probably the best CD speech I've ever heard. Self-deprecating in all the right ways... yet nicely vicious in the right ways too...

Killed it.

   
• Speech! And Cecily Strong did an amazing job too...

I'm guessing that's going to rub some people the wrong way...

   
• Mo! Oh shit! Did the Surgeon General's nurse just give Elmo autism?!?

Av ery good question indeed! Hmmm...

   
• Color! Man of Steel was a shitty movie that took a huge, steaming dump all over Superman... but this makeover would have gone a long way towards at least making it LOOK like a Superman movie...

Next up, Zach Snyder gets to drop a load all over Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

   
• Joker Products! And speaking of taking a dump all over a beloved DC Comics character, here comes Suicide Squad...

I am interested in seeing what Jared Leto brings to the role, as he's an incredibly talented actor who seems a perfect fit. But this "look" they've got going for him seems more silly than scary. I'm trying to keep an open mind here, but Hipster Joker? Really?

   
• Relief. A massive earthquake has killed over 3000 people in Nepal, injured scores of others, and affected millions. As always, Doctors Without Borders is there. If you have a few extra bucks in your pocket, you can help them to help others by donating here.

   
And now it's time to put my aching eyes to bed. See you in seven days... same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel.

Don't touch that back button... because Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Arthur! After a long, long wait in Swedish Doggy Quarantine... Arthur, the stray dog who joined an adventure racing team in Ecuador, has finally been released!

In case you're not up on this genuinely heartwarming story, here ya go...

Congrats to Arthur and Team Peak Performance!

   
• Clean Sheets! Doesn't everybody love them?

   
• TWO! In addition to the upcoming Clerks 3, Kevin Smith has unveiled plans for Mallrats 2, much to the surprise of just about everyone. Negotiations appear to be ongoing, but it seems as though the majority of the cast has signed on, including Smith, Jason Lee, Jeremy London, Ethan Suplee, Shannen Doherty, Stan Lee, Jason Mewes, Michael Rooker, and Renee Humphrey...

   
• Ninja! Well this is pretty epic...

Whatever this guy is making, he's underpaid.

   
• Freedom to Discriminate! Uh huh...

I'm guessing that's a "yes" then?

   
And there you have it... no more bullets for a week!

If you're lucky.