Today's the day! The real reason I'm here in Florida!

But not so fast, because it was essential to start the day with Tonga Toast at Disney's Polynesian Resort.

It's sublimely delicious... made with a thick piece of Sourdough French Toast which has been filled with sliced bananas then covered in sugar and cinnamon...

Then it was time for a Very Merrytime Cruise aboard the Disney Wish!

Some background...

I have cruised with Disney three times before... twice with my mom because she loved cruises. But they were their original two ships, The Magic and The Wonder, which are much smaller than The Wish. And less crowded. This is my second Christmas cruise, which Disney does very well...

Fast-forwarding to the most exciting thing on this first day, I happened across some paintings which I thought were by one of my favorite contemporary artists, Kehinde Wiley (probably most famous to many as the artist behind President Obama's portrait)...

But they were not. The biggest clue being that they were relatively small, and Wiley paintings are mostly quite large. And the cool patterns that Wiley adds to his works were absent. But even so, it was thrilling for a second to think that I got to see Kehinde Wiley's works by accident instead of flying to an exhibition somewhere!

More excitement was to be had at my first night of rotational dining at the Worlds of Marvel restaurant, featuring Ant-Man and The Wasp...

Like most of the Disney restaurants, there's cool stuff going on while you eat. In this case there's a "demonstration" of the technology playing on the screens which goes very, very wrong... and requires some help of other Marvel heroes to resolve.

Interesting that the "towel sculpture" on Disney cruises is not with towels any more, it's with the cover that goes along the foot of the bed. Tonight it was a turtle...

And tommorrow it's land-ho.

Today was built around going to Magic Kingdom so I could visit the brand new Beak & Barrell Tavern, Disney's newest way to print money.

It's near The Pirates of The Caribbean attraction, and beautifully pirate-themed and jam-packed with cool stuff from top to bottom, and there's hidden surprises throughout...

Before I even made the reservation (which is very difficult for West Coasters since they start taking them at 4am Pacific Time and are gone immediately), I knew I wanted to try the Cook’s Corn Griddle Cakes with Roasted Corn and Poblano Peppers. I had heard they were excellent (and they live up to the hype).

But here's the thing... though there is seating available, there's also standing tables. Which makes eating more of a challenge than it should be. Especially when they stand you half-way between the accessible dip in the table and the tall table top, meaning you have to eat on a small corner away from your plate...

Now, I get it... they have to pack in as many people as possible, so they can't have sit-down tables for everybody (and I am very glad that they have an accessible spot for somebody in a wheelchair), but they should really prioritize seating for people who are there to eat. Otherwise, they shouldn't bother serving food at all.

I did get a very cool souvenir mug with my $46 Plunderer’s Punch though (a tempting blend of The Kraken Black Spiced Rum, Blackberry, Lime, and Vanilla)...

Unfortunately, this was another day of rain. But this time it was a torrential flood, as faithfully indicated by Carrot Weather...

Hopping over to Epcot resulted in canceled Lightning Lanes all over the place due to ride closures, so calling it an early day only made sense.

And there you go. A cool experience with fantastic drinks and very, very good corn cakes. The Beak and Barrel is worth a visit, assuming you can manage to get a reservation.

Another Disney night, another Disney party.

This time the extra hours event called "Jollywood Nights" at Disney Hollywood Studios park. It's the more mature alternative to "Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party" that I was at on Thursday. It's more show-oriented than anything else, but there's things for everybody to do. At least I hope so given that the event lasts until 1:30am...

It was cold, rainy, and I left before it shut down at 1:30am, as did most people. But not before wandering around the parking lot near-empty conditions to look around without crowds, especially Star Wars Land...

And thus ends another night at The Most Magical Place on Earth.

I've attempted to "drink around the world" on two occasions.

For those not in the know as to what that means, it's a Disney challenge where you have an alcoholic beverage from every pavillion in Epcot's World Showcase. There's 11 countries represented, which means 11 drinks. This wouldn't be a terrible challenge for me if I started drinking when they start serving alcohol around 11:00am, but I didn't get off work until 3:30 or 4:00 at the earliest, which means I only get around 5-6 hours to do it. Fortunately, the drinks are mostly weak because Disney doesn't want people getting plowed in their park, but it's still a chunk of alcohol in a relatively short time.

The first time I tried I started in Mexico and went clockwise. I stopped at United Kingdom because I couldn't stomach one more drink. The second time I went counter-clockwise thinking it would be easier to finish on a margarita in Mexico, but was again one drink short.

This time I didn't want to fail, so I started early and split some of my drinks. Which I think still counts, doesn't it? Here's how it went...

• Canada - Ottawa Apple, a delicious blend of Crown Royal, Apple Liqueur, and Cranberry Juice. My first drink which was the best drink of the day.
• United Kingdom - Cider and Fireball with Strongbow Cider, Fireball Cinnamon Whisky, Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey, and Ginger Ale. Wisely, I split this one because double whiskey so early would have got me off to a poor start. Would have been better with an additional shot of Fireball.
• France - Dom Pérignon. I found Dom to be overrated and absurdly expensive after trying it decades ago. Wanting to know if it was just my tastebuds being immature, I decided to try it again. Nope. I was right. Still tasty for a champagne though.
• BONUS DRINK: The Garden Grill - Citrus Freeze a tasty blend of Orlando Orange Vodka, Peach Schnapps, and Mango Purée. This restaurant for lunch was how to get tickets for the Candlelight Processional.
• BONUS DRINK: Space 220 - Space Age Mule with Wheatley Vodka, Key Lime Pie Liqueur, Lime Juice, and Ginger Beer.
• Norway - Viking Coffee which has Baileys Irish Cream Liqueur and Kamora Coffee Liqueur mixed with Coffee. Since I hate coffee I split this one.
• China - Kung Fu Punch with Vodka, Triple Sec, Mango and Orange Juice. Thanks to the extra drinks I had, it was time to split this one too.
• Italy - Limoncello Mule includes Wild Sardinia vodka, Limoncello, Orange Juice, Pineapple Juice, Peach Purée, Lime Juice and Ginger Beer. I split it... might not have if it didn't have ginger beer in the mix.
• Morocco - Blood Orange Mimosa made with Sparkling Wine and Blood Orange Juice. If I wasn't so full from all the drinking, I would have dove into the pastries which were offered to go with it.
• Mexico - Avocado Margarita which has Avocado, Tequila, Melon Liqueur, Grand Marnier, Lime Juice, and Agave. This was drank with dinner, so I had a whole one.
• Japan - Japanese Punch with Shōchū, Plum Wine, White Cranberry Juice, and Lemon Juice. Split because it was getting late.
• Germany - Beer. I split it, but not really. I only had a few swallows because the last thing I wanted was beer mixed with all the cocktails I've been drinking... but the Jäegermeister machine wasn't working so it was the only thing available in all of Germany.
• USA - Bud Light. After the Candlelight Processional with guest narrator Ashley Eckstein (the voice of Asohka in the cartoons!), it was time to tackle the most American drink in existence... Bud Light. Again, I didn't want to have beer, so I only had a few swallows, but it was enough to finish the challenge at long last.

As I mentioned, the first drink of the day, The Ottawa Apple, was a clear winner. Refreshingly delicious...

And here's Ashley at the CandleLight Processional...

The last thing of the evening was to use a Lightning Lane for the Living with the Land holiday overlay called "Glimmering Greenhouses" (there was no way I was standing in line for 90 minutes to do this)...

So... yeah... best to begin the minute they start serving alcohol, get mixed drinks so you're not flooded with beer bloat, pace yourself with food, and drink some water along the way. Probably also best to drink around the world in the winter when you're not having to get toasted while in the middle of heat stroke and humidity.

Thanks to the politics of our 27th state, traveling to Florida is something that gives me pause. The bigotry that's been pressed into policy is pretty disgusting, and has resulted in hate crimes exploding. It's so bad that actual travel advisories have been issued.

Though I'm in Walt Disney World, which is kind of a bubble unto its own, and makes any politics feel a world away.

Hey, weren't you in Disney World just a year ago? you might be asking?

Yes. Which you might remember from the two weeks of blog posts I dumped on Blogography (starting here).

Except I'm not here for Disney World, that's just something to do before the reason I'm here.

Tonight was spent at Magic Kingdom because it's time once again for Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party. An overtly shameless cash-grab by Disney. It's an after-hours event which has special food, merch, parades, characters, and other stuff... along with free hot cocoa and cookies. And magical projections on the castle as a Christmas stage show plays below...

Plus fireworks, of course...

Disney also advertises that you get to enjoy the attractions with shorter lines, but they oversell the event so badly that it's hardly the case. Lines were actually shorter during the day.

Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party is a separately-ticketed event which doesn't require a regular park ticket. If you pay to do it, then you get to enter the park at 4:00 and everybody who doesn't pay to do it has to leave by 6:00. As you might imagine, those two hours of overlap is crowded and crazy. Once the park can be reasonably sure that all the regular ticket riff-raff is gone, they start unleashing all the Christmas specialty stuff around 7:00 and keep it going until midnight.

I've never really found any of the after-hours events to be worth it. But I end up going to many of them anyway for something to do when I was working in Orlando. Plus the specialty foods are interesting. And my mom loved it, so I brought her along when I was there while the Christmas party was going...

If nothing else, you get to see Space Mountain lit up in Christmas colors...

And now I'm cold and dead tired and need to get to bed.

My worry about flying this time of year should be that there will be snow on the mountain passes making travel difficult and potentially causing me to miss my flight.

What actually worries me is that I'm going to catch COVID, the bubonic plague, or some other infectious disease when crammed in a metal tube flying across the country. Because wayyyyy too many people do not give a fuck about preventing diseases or caring for others in society.

I wonder how many people on this flight are going to be infectious with measles, since that's what's going on here now, thanks to the anti-vax movement?

"Surviving vacation" is something which has an entirely new meaning in 2025.

I left Spokane on Sunday around 3:30. That gave me an hour of daylight before the sunlight was fading into darkness. Fading into the abyss.

Now, for the longest time, I loved night driving. It was calming and peaceful and, when I was younger, I did it a lot. Mostly while traveling around the United States because I didn't want to waste daylight driving when I could be seeing stuff.

Or maybe I liked it because the first driving I ever did was on my Atari 2600 with Night Driver...

But then... things started to change.

I was bordering on night blindness, where headlights (or any lights) would become a massive blight in my field of vision. I couldn't see. The amount of concentration required to drive safely was headache-inducing and I was genuinely worried I was becoming a danger on the road. And so I stopped driving at night. Completely. I couldn't justify the risk... not necessarily for myself, but for other people.

And it was fine. I could always get a ride with somebody else or pay for an Über or whatever.

Then, as I was having another surgery for my ongoing injury problems, I ended up getting my lenses replaced with cataract surgery (something I documented here). And even though I was told my cataracts weren't terrible and wouldn't need to be addressed for five years or so... I could suddenly see at night again! Night drivin' here I come, baby!

So I went ahead and drove home in the dark, it was perfectly fine, I could see great, there were zero issues.

At least when it comes to my vision.

Because there will always be assholes on the road, and that's something you can get fixed with cataract surgery.

Maybe a lobotomy, but not cataract surgery.

You know you're well past your prime when you see an ad which says "How to last longer in bed" and you're like... "I could use more sleep"... then continue reading and be like "Oh. Oh yeah."

Over the weekend I had a trip across the basin to Spokane. The drive is tantamount to torture because it's just hundreds of miles of mostly nothing. But in all honesty I don't really mind all that much. I can listen to music and think about stuff. A rare luxury in my crazy day-to-day life.

Where things took a very, very bad turn for me was about 50 minutes outside of Spokane when my iPhone stopped having data access. Thinking that, yet again, Verizon's shitty service was to blame, I shut down my iPhone and restarted it. Sometimes Verizon botches the cell tower hand-off, and this is the only way to get data working again.

Except it didn't fix anything.

Another power-down and restart. Then another. Then another. Still nothing.

This put me into a bit of a panic because I didn't know which hotel I was staying at. Unlike the good ol' days when I would print out my reservation before travel, now-a-days I rely on the fact that Apple Maps would see I had a hotel reservation from the email confirmation I received and ask me if I wanted to go there when I blew into town.

Not this time.

When I say "I didn't know which hotel I was staying at," that's not 100% the truth. But it might as well have been. I knew I was staying at "The Davenport" but considering there's like... I dunno... ten of the fuckers in Spokane, and all of them are named "The Davenport Autograph Collection" (or what-the-hell ever), I had no idea where I was going.

And so I drove to the one I stayed at the last couple times. I hadn't a clue if it was the correct one, but I assumed they could tell me where to go if I was at the wrong property. But I didn't have to go to that much trouble, because my phone connected to WiFi after I parked. Turns out, yes indeed, I was at the wrong hotel. So I left to drive to the correct one. Except the ticket machine at the garage wanted to make me pay $7.95 for the 5 minutes I was there. Fortunately I was able to explain my predicament to the valet who let me go.

But fate wasn't done with me yet!

Somehow Apple Maps didn't load everything off the internet while I was at the parking garage. Which meant I was, once again, not knowing where to go. Fortunately I've been to Spokane many times and was able to figure it all out, but not after I had to drive around the block to look for the self-park garage entrance.

le sigh

Must have been time for a beer and my favorite pizza on earth...

Don't worry... half of it was road pizza for the drive home the next day

After my early dinner, I was wiped.

But it was only 5:30pm, and I knew better than going to bed so early that I'll be waking up at 2:00am. Not that this would be anything unusual in my declining years, but this time it wouldn't be waking up to go to the bathroom. Probably.

Last night I went out to dinner with some friends that just got back from Vegas.

Back before pandemic, they went almost every year. But now they say they’re probably never going back.

Every drink they had was watered down. There was no meal they enjoyed, even at the expensive restaurants, because the quality of the food has taken a dive and the portions are much smaller. Slot machines don’t pay out. And there are extra charges, mandatory fees, and additional taxes on absolutely everything.

My friend’s wife said that it was impossible to enjoy their vacation because she spent the entire time counting the outrageous amount of money they were spending on a mediocre vacation.

As somebody who went on work trips to Vegas a few times a year for a decade, this is strange for me to contemplate. People flocked to Vegas to roll like a millionaire on a modest budget. Without that, what’s the appeal? Unless things seriously change soon, I wonder how Las Vegas can survive.

In other news...

Today I had my annual eye exam. The first since my cataract lens replacement. I have 20/15 vision. Which means I'm seeing better than I probably ever have in my life, since my eyesight was less than good even as a kid. Now I want to have another surgery. I'm going to try and trade up to 20/10 with X-ray vision next time.

A shame I need readers, but even there I'm told I only really need 1.25× instead of the 1.5× I've been using.

Such a nice surprise to have good news about my eyes for a change.

Insomnia got you down like it's got me down? Maybe reading something boring will help you to fall asleep. You're lucky I have the perfect solution... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Ophelia! Taylor Swift released the video for The Fate of Ophelia (one of my favorite tracks off of The Life of a Showgirl), and it's beautiful. And probably very, very expensive...

What's remarkable is that Taylor both wrote and directed it. Which is to say she might have the chops to do that if she ever gets tired of making music.

   
• What Are You Doing Here?! In a day and age where every moment brings new horrors... I love moments like this (language NSFW)...

I have so many friends around the globe. I'd love to drop in and surprise them like this.

   
• Rollercoaster! And now I want a rollercoaster in my back yard too...

I wonder if my HOA would allow it?

   
• Great American Cities! My list... which includes my priorities of art, culture, American public consciousness, world consciousness, and food: #1 is New York. #2 is Los Angelas. #3 is Chicago. #4 is Boston. #5 is San Francisco. #6 is New Orleans. #7 is Seattle. #8 is Atlanta. #9 is Miami. #10 is Las Vegas.

Now, this list is always going to be subjective, but the fact that New Orleans wasn't even considered at any metric feels insane to me. It's my favorite American city, so maybe I'm biased, but WTF? And, my God, Las Vegas wasn't considered? To many people in the world, it is the metric from which American excess is pinpointed. The omission that I'm going to catch heat for is Washington D.C., which would have made my list easy... except the art and culture is being gutted now, so I'd prefer to leave that option to the past. Hopefully it can return one day. There's other cities which seem somehow wrong to omit from my list. Minneapolis. Honolulu. San Diego. Nashville. Memphis. Philadelphia. San Antonio. Santa Fe. Portland (both of them). St. Louis. Savannah. The list goes on and on. There's a lot to love about so many American cities which could make them contenders when you consider the metric which makes them special.

   
• Drone... um... Strike? A drone show goes terribly, terribly wrong in China...

I can't for the life of me figure out what happened here. If I had to guess, the combination of a drone show with a fireworks show wasn't timed properly the fireworks took out the drones? This is awful.

   
• Science, Bitch! A critical video that everybody needs to watch. Especially if you're buying into the anti-science bullshit that's fucking us over and killing people...

I am beginning to think that humans going extinct out of fucking stupidity is the best-case scenario for the planet.

   
• Follow the Money! Sooooo... states that put more dollars into the government than out are getting their funding cut? This is repugnant. I can't recall any other administration so intent on fucking over people who didn't vote for them like this. Presidents Biden, Obama, Bush, Clinton, Bush, Reagan, Carter, etc. tried to be a president to everybody, even people who didn't support them. They were presidents for the entire country instead of just the Americans they like...

Maybe these states should start withholding their money from the fucking government and let everybody else sort out their own shit. This is beyond fucked up. Especially since that $8 billion is probably going to all his wealthy owners and in his own pocket.

   
And now I'm going to bed early. Though I don't know why because I can never seem to sleep.