Thanks to the holiday weekend, I saved my ammo for a rare "Bullet Sunday on Monday" edition!
• Wallpaper! I had forgotten to convert my DaveToon iPhone wallpaper backgrounds to the iPad, so thanks to my friend Göran for the reminder! They're free for your personal use, but cannot be sold or used for any commercial purpose. Just click on the version you'd like and it will open in a separate window. From there, you can drag the image to your desktop, or right-click (control-click for Mac) and save it wherever you like.
If you want to know how to get the pictures onto your iPhone, iPod Touch, or iPad, Apple has a helpful support document.
If you are using Android or any other mobile platform, you can still use the wallpapers... I recommend grabbing the iPad version and cropping it to your display resolution.
Eventually I'll get more wallpapers converted and come up with some new stuff. Until then, enjoy!
• Ask Dave! I would be remiss to not mention that the remarkably awesome FREE Ask Dave! app for iPhone, iPod Touch, and iPad is still available! It hasn't been optimized for Retina Display yet, but still looks pretty awesome. Hopefully I'll get around to creating new custom versions for next-gen iOS devices like iPad,
• $3.99 No More! I've decided to stop buying Marvel Comics. Marvel blows. DC Comics listened to comic book fans and dropped their cover price of ongoing series to $2.99 ($1.79 at discount) back in October. Whereas Marvel is STILL soliciting their titles at $3.99 ($2.39 at discount). And I'm simply not going to pay over $2.00 for a comic book because nothing coming out of Marvel is worth it. Even though the stuff that's going on in their books is pretty awesome...
Seriously, the time for digital comics is here. Offer comics for $1.00 each direct with no printing costs, no shipping costs, no storage costs, no distribution costs. I would by at least double the books I do now... maybe even triple. Not only that, but I would be ten times more willing to try a new book for a buck than I would paying $3.99 for a printed copy. Assuming that there are a lot of comic book fans like me who set a monthly budget for comics, the net would be a win for comic creators and fans alike. Sure I'm going to miss having printed copies that I can hold and flip through... but if I'm going to stop buying them anyway, surely this is better than nothing?
And I'm afraid that's all she wrote for this week. Next week we'll have a very special New Year Edition of Bullet Sunday. Hope to see you then!
If Boxing Day is your holiday, I hope it's a happy one for you!
Oh great. Now I want to pummel somebody with padded gloves. Doesn't that sound fun?
Not just today, but every day...
...and good will to everybody.
As somebody who endeavors to take the high road in most things, I ended up deleting the blog entry I hammered out for today. Sometimes it's better to just let sleeping dogs lie.
At least for now.
As always, I reserve the right to unleash my righteous fury at a later date.
I'm a vegetarian.
Because I'm a vegetarian, I am not a huge fan of McDonald's. The one thing McDonald's made I could eat... the TOTALLY AWESOME McVeggie Deluxe... should have been expanded to every McDonald's in the world. Instead they removed it from the menu at the one place you could get it: the wonderful Times Square McDonald's. Oh well. I still stop by for McFries every once in a while, because they're some of the best fast-food fries you can get. They used to have the best fried pies you can get, but now they have shitty baked pies. Bummer.
Anyway... despite my not being a fan of McDonalds (nor being a fan of the subsidized cheap beef they use which is destroying the planet) I still believe they should have a right to sell whatever they can get people to buy. Even if it is unhealthy dead cow products. I may choose not to eat their vegetarian-hostile crap, but a lot of people like it so good for them. If eaten in moderation, there's nothing wrong with treating yourself to a Big Mac every once in a while.
And then today I read in The L.A. Times that McDonald's is being sued because "The Center for Science in the Public Interest" feels the toys in their Happy Meals unfairly entice children into "eating food that can do them harm"...
The lead plaintiff in the case, a mother of two from Sacramento, goes one step further by claiming McDonald's "uses toys as bait to induce her kids to clamor to go to McDonald's."
Uhhhhhh...
The word you are searching for, YOU MORON, is "no."
That's right... if you don't feel McDonald's is healthy for your kids and don't want them eating there, JUST SAY NO! When I was a kid I clamored for a flamethrower. My parents, WHO ARE ACTUAL FUCKING PARENTS THAT CHOSE TO RAISE THEIR KIDS INSTEAD OF HAVING A RESTAURANT DO IT FOR THEM, felt a flamethrower could be detrimental to my health and told me "no."
Idiotic bullshit like this drives me fucking insane.
Kids "clamor" for all kinds of crap that can "do them harm."
It's the job of the parent to read labels and research products and do all the stuff parents do to protect their kids from harm. Yes, the parent! If a frickin' cheap-ass toy is enough to totally usurp your parenting authority, you've got bigger fucking problems than a stupid Happy Meal. I hate to think what lawsuit is coming next. Are you going to fucking sue
The word you are searching for is "no."
If you don't know how to use it to keep your children from harm... or use your brain to figure out a healthier alternative to placate your kids over a frickin' toy... you might want to consider putting your offspring up for adoption. Odds are they'll be a lot better off.
Ever feel like all you ever do is move side to side... never forward?
Yeah, that's me lately. Or forever. I get those mixed up.
There's only so many disappointments you can take in a single day before life kind of loses its luster.
Fortunately I have chocolate pudding to take the edge off or I don't know what I'd do.
Probably cash-in what's left of my retirement and buy chocolate pudding. Costco has 36-count Snack Pack on sale for like $8.50, which means I could probably afford to buy a dozen cases or so. That's enough pudding to take the edge off just about anything. Well, except the fact that my retirement savings is now worth a mere dozen cases of pudding. There's not enough chocolate pudding in the world to take the edge off that...
This kind of circular pudding logic messes with your head.
This morning on the way to work I stopped by the mini-mart so I could pick up a package Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. For some reason, I woke up craving Reese's, and I knew that I'd spend my entire day being distracted by my desire if I didn't just give in and buy the dang things.
But since it's kind of silly to be eating candy first thing in the morning, I decided to hold off a bit. So I set the Reese's aside and started work. Sure enough, all I could think about all morning was eating those dang peanut butter cups. I finally relented around 10:30 so I could get on with my life...
Except...
The delicious peanut butter centers of my Reese's were dried out. So instead of rich, creamy peanut butter, I ended up with some kind of chalky peanut butter-flavored residue in there. Blech. Now not only did I have to force myself to eat this crummy excuse for a candy bar, I was still craving a good Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
This got me to thinking about Star Trek. Well, not the the REAL Star Trek, but the Captain Picard-infused Next Generation version of Star Trek. On this show they are blessed with an amazing bit of technology awesomeness called a "replicator." You simply tell it what you want, and it materializes it out of thin air...
But that's not even the most amazing part.
When you think about it, the amazing part is that whatever you get out of the replicator is going to be perfect. Every damn time!
Because when they program the thing, they're not going to program it with a crappy cup of hot Earl Grey tea... they're going to program the most amazing fucking cup of hot Earl Grey tea ever made. And that's exactly what you're going to get each and every time. Because, technically, you're getting the SAME cup of tea each time.
And, of course, when they program in Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, they'll program a freshly-made bar right off the line with a flawlessly delicious and creamy center.
The list goes on and on. Ever grab a handful of almonds only to have one of them taste like it's going rancid? Not in Star Trek! Ever take a big bite out of an apple only to find it has water-core and tastes like crap? Not in Star Trek! Ever burn the toast? Not in Star Trek! These people not only know the miracle of getting food to appear out of thin air... they don't know what imperfect food tastes like! Everything they ever eat is sublimely perfect. There's never any nasty surprises.
It's like the most amazing thing ever... consistently perfect food.
After flying cars and lightsabers, I'll take a replicator please.
And a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
Well, apparently it's totally winter now.
Don't you hate it when it's snowing so hard that by the time you get to cleaning off the back-end of your car, the front-end where you started is covered in snow again?
Yeah, me too. But that didn't stop this from being my post-work super-fun activity this evening...
Snow blows. But it sucks too. It pretty much sucks and blows.
Which, unfortunately, doesn't cancel each other out as you'd expect it too.
I don't want to live in a universe where stupid snow doesn't adhere to the laws of physics.
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