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Posted on Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

Dave!I'm a vegetarian.

Because I'm a vegetarian, I am not a huge fan of McDonald's. The one thing McDonald's made I could eat... the TOTALLY AWESOME McVeggie Deluxe... should have been expanded to every McDonald's in the world. Instead they removed it from the menu at the one place you could get it: the wonderful Times Square McDonald's. Oh well. I still stop by for McFries every once in a while, because they're some of the best fast-food fries you can get. They used to have the best fried pies you can get, but now they have shitty baked pies. Bummer.

Anyway... despite my not being a fan of McDonalds (nor being a fan of the subsidized cheap beef they use which is destroying the planet) I still believe they should have a right to sell whatever they can get people to buy. Even if it is unhealthy dead cow products. I may choose not to eat their vegetarian-hostile crap, but a lot of people like it so good for them. If eaten in moderation, there's nothing wrong with treating yourself to a Big Mac every once in a while.

And then today I read in The L.A. Times that McDonald's is being sued because "The Center for Science in the Public Interest" feels the toys in their Happy Meals unfairly entice children into "eating food that can do them harm"...

DAVETOON: Bad Monkey contemplates a Happy Meal box

The lead plaintiff in the case, a mother of two from Sacramento, goes one step further by claiming McDonald's "uses toys as bait to induce her kids to clamor to go to McDonald's."


The word you are searching for, YOU MORON, is "no."

That's right... if you don't feel McDonald's is healthy for your kids and don't want them eating there, JUST SAY NO! When I was a kid I clamored for a flamethrower. My parents, WHO ARE ACTUAL FUCKING PARENTS THAT CHOSE TO RAISE THEIR KIDS INSTEAD OF HAVING A RESTAURANT DO IT FOR THEM, felt a flamethrower could be detrimental to my health and told me "no."

Idiotic bullshit like this drives me fucking insane.

Kids "clamor" for all kinds of crap that can "do them harm."

It's the job of the parent to read labels and research products and do all the stuff parents do to protect their kids from harm. Yes, the parent! If a frickin' cheap-ass toy is enough to totally usurp your parenting authority, you've got bigger fucking problems than a stupid Happy Meal. I hate to think what lawsuit is coming next. Are you going to fucking sue JC Penney for distributing a toy catalog because it entices children into clamoring for toys that aren't healthy to your bank account? Are you going to go after Pop-Tarts because they put Hello Kitty on the box to entice kids into eating toaster pastries that aren't healthy to HUMANITY? What the hell? Do parents want ANY responsibility in raising their kids any more?

The word you are searching for is "no."

If you don't know how to use it to keep your children from harm... or use your brain to figure out a healthier alternative to placate your kids over a frickin' toy... you might want to consider putting your offspring up for adoption. Odds are they'll be a lot better off.

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Categories: DaveToons 2010, Food 2010Click To It: Permalink


  1. CP says:

    There is no such thing as personal responsibility any longer. I recently saw an article where a woman was attempting to start a class action lawsuit against Carnie Wilson. Apparently, Miss Wilson’s endorsement of weight loss surgery procedures coerced this poor imbecile woman into proceeding with bariatric surgery. Now the woman is suffering all sorts of complications which is CLEARLY Carnie Wilson’s fault, you know, since she performed the surgery on her and signed the consent form. /end sarcasm.

    I am completely over people blaming the internet, the television, the music industry, fast food facilities, even the schools and teachers for their own foibles. How about a nice hearty “You know what? I done fucked up. Now I shall reap what I have sown.” The finger pointing is getting old and I really believe that when people want to proceed with lawsuits like the ones mentioned here and in your post, there should have to be a LARGE fee paid upfront to do so. A LARGE fee. Like, five grand or something, just to start a lawsuit. Then lets see how many frivolous, nonsensical lawsuits actually make it through the court system.

    Ridiculous. I truly believe the rest of the world reads the news of this country, sits back and laughs their asses off.

    • Dave2 says:

      I think that lawsuits should cost a million dollars to be heard. THAT aught to clear up our court systems!

      But seriously, lawsuits against companies which pose an immediate danger to public health is one thing… companies selling an FDA-approved meal? Come on. They’re just doing business. Sue the FDA for allowing it, if that’s how people feel.

  2. Marc says:

    Yeah, the American society seems to quite funny. If it comes to health insurance or guns, it’s freedom all the way. But when it comes to consumer product choice, papa gov needs to rule every single bit.

    • Dave2 says:

      And THAT’S exactly what’s driving me frickin’ nuts. They don’t want the government running our lives… BUT they want to pass laws against what gays do in the bedroom. They don’t want government spending our money… BUT they want the government to keep our borders secure and keep us safe. It’s just one contradiction after another and it makes me crazy.

  3. Bec says:

    I have problems keeping my 32 year old fiance away from mcDonald’s happy meals because of the toy but he is an adult and I have no real authority. I totally agree with you though and I hope if I ever have kids I will be able to offer some kind of alternative that they will enjoy!

  4. Jeff says:

    I couldn’t agree more. It also drives me nuts when parents allow their kids to balloon up to 200 lbs because they’re not capable of saying “no” to letting them drink 10 cans of pop per day and eating a large bag of Doritos every night. I worry for our species.

  5. RW says:

    Stupid lawsuit is stupid.

    MickyD, however, did make a commitment and a public promise to do away with the toy/Happy Meal thing a few years ago in a very much publicized statement where they expressed their agreement that it was a shady ad ploy. But they never followed through.

    Stupid parent is stupid. Lying fast food company is lying.

    • Dave2 says:

      My understanding was that McDonald’s made a promise to offer more “healthful alternatives” in their Happy Meals… and they’ve done that. You can get an apple instead of fries and milk instead of soda pop. But they can’t really come up with an alternative to a hamburger, because they’re a hamburger restaurant. I wish they’d offer up a soy burger alternative to steroid & carcinogenic-laden beef… but oh well.

      In any event, “prize with purchase” is a staple of modern marketing. Cereal companies have been doing it for decades. Mail Order companies live or die by it. That some people bow to pressure from such marketing is hardly the fault of the company doing the promotion… that’s the result they’re hoping for! If parents are too weak-willed, or can’t say “no,” or are too easily pressured by marketing campaigns, they need to move to the North Pole so they won’t be exposed to it, because it’s everywhere… not just McDonald’s.

  6. Julie says:

    I wholeheartedly agree with you! I travel quite a bit and even though I am not a vegetarian, I do appreciate a fast, nutritious meal. And McDonalds definitely does NOT meet that need, even though they have the market reach and the ability. Instead they choose to serve some very questionable food, nutrion-wise.

    That said, I do like their new coffee offerings.

  7. Alexander says:


    Just when I think the entire world has gone batshit insane, there you are, reminding me that there is at least one other human being on this planet who still has his act together.

    Thank you for the daily dose of sanity!

  8. amen!
    i got told “NO!” (yes, in capital letters and yes, with the exclamation point) all the damn time when i was a kid. guess what, i didn’t like it and acted like a brat so i got a swat on the butt. amazingly enough, i learned that sometimes you have to obey others even when you don’t want to (hello, big girl job and having a boss).
    i’d love to punch that asshole plaintiff in the mouth, but i’d get sued.

  9. Barnmaven says:

    Expecting parents to actually PARENT their children? Now, now Dave…such unrealistic expectations.

  10. Megan says:

    Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you’re on a rant? Well I just did.

    My son would eat crap all day long if I allowed it. I don’t allow it. I don’t understand what is so hard about that. He likes Happy Meals as much as most kids, but he rarely gets one because, hello? not healthy. I’ve explained the reason behind my decision and while he doesn’t like it, he understands.

  11. Stuff like that pisses me off. Be a fucking PARENT you dumbass, not a friend. If you have the money, and you have the car keys I think it’s safe to say you can control what they eat. And if your stupid ass does drive over to Mickey D’s, opt for the apple dippers and whole milk to lessen the damage.

    Ok…. getting off soap box.

  12. Mad William says:

    What, no, to a flamethrower? What kind of world do we live in that your parents said no?

    What’s next, no Happy Meal toys?

    What? Oh! I get it now. Parents are supposed to raise their own kids. I think most parents missed that memo.

    As a parent. No, is my second favorite word. And it really works!

  13. Christopher Stogdill says:

    Wow……I could not agree with you more about everything except the vegetarian part.

    It’s idiots like this who have waged the war on “Christmas”, trying to make everyone be politically correct and use “Happy Holidays” instead.

    I wish these fucktards could realize that not everyone is out to get them.

    • Dave2 says:

      You apparently missed my blog entry on this. I say “Happy Holidays” (or “Thanks! Enjoy Your Holiday!” if somebody wishes me a Merry Christmas) because I’m not a Christian and don’t celebrate Christmas… not because I’m declaring war on Christmas (which is about the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard). Christians should get to keep their holiday and celebrate it however they wish in their churches and homes, I’m perfectly fine with that. But they also need to realize that there are other faiths that celebrate other holidays in December and not take THAT as an attack. Government buildings, public services, and other community celebrations or festivities and things belonging to the entire community shouldn’t be Christian-specific, but inclusive of everybody… INCLUDING CHRISTMAS.

      • Christopher Stogdill says:

        I didn’t miss your blog entry on “Happy Holidays”, just didn’t want to venture too far off topic.

  14. martymankins says:

    Personal and parental responsibility has been replaced by “let’s pass a law that says no so I don’t have to” Bullshit.

    I should sue McDonald’s for being too close to work, forcing me to eat their unhealthy food so I would be forced to go elsewhere.

  15. Karl says:

    Funny, just saw this story on the news when I got up this morning and said the same thing: “try saying no.” Great rant.

  16. Yeah I read about that and absolutely couldn’t believe my eyes. I think we’re doomed as a species.

  17. Lora says:

    I am a parent and I can honestly say that I don’t remember the last time my son ate at McD’s or any other fast-food chain. I say “no” all the time…to a ton of stuff. It’s not fun and it certainly doesn’t make me the popular parent but it’s my JOB. It’s what I signed up to do when they pulled that 12 pound baby out of me. The shirking of responsibility these days makes me absolutely freaking crazy…hardly a day goes by that I don’t rant about someone doing something stupid and then saying it was someone else’s fault.

  18. Jen, now in Arizona says:

    I love you.

    oh, and this article!

    Personal responsibly has been lacking in all aspects of life, especially parenting.

    THANK YOU for writing this.

  19. Cricket says:

    Wow. Why just McDonald’s and not every restaurant on the planet that does the same thing? Just a question; I’m not siding with the parent on this one.

    I can’t even wrap my brain around that. What would suck real big hairy donkey balls is if she WON, because that would smell like precedent to other shitty parents.

  20. claire says:

    The word that came to my mind was “DUH!” Fast food chains have long thrown in toys with kids meals. Burger Chef (sadly long gone) used to have the coolest vehicle shaped containers for their meals. Why single out McDonald’s? Do they have the deepest pockets this year? sigh.

    What’s really sad is that I bet a lot of people would eat healthier if it was as cheap to do so as it is to eat burgers. I like a good veggie burger and *gasp* I’m not a vegetarian.

    We need someone to build a healthy fast food model. Start in Portland or Seattle maybe and expand out.

  21. My almost 13 year old daughter and I just had a discussion about this. She was saying that she doesn’t understand why people don’t understand the concept of personal responsibility. I agree. The only thing you are in control of are your own personal choices. If you make bad ones, you are responsible for the results, the choice itself can not be held responsible.

    I also don’t understand why parents are not seeming to do the parenting part anymore but I guess that is a different issue, just sort of related.

  22. Suebob says:

    By the time I was born, my mom had been a mom for 15 years, so she was wise to the ways of offspring. She had this magical tool in her mom toolbelt: the word NO. When my mom said no, she didn’t mean “No, unless you beg,” or “No, unless you charm me,” or “No, until I change my mind.” She meant No, no, no way, ever, so don’t even bother. So guess what? We did not bother. We learned that when Mom said no, there was no budging her, so why whine? It wasn’t gonna help.

    My mom should have been a Professor of Parenting.

  23. the muskrat says:

    I wonder when credit card companies will be sued for enticing people to take on too much debt?

  24. whall says:

    Hi. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do when I agree with you. Is there a FAQ somewhere I can consult?

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