Disco became self-aware 40 years ago.

36 years ago, Disco was approaching the height of it's dominance thanks to the movie Saturday Night Fever and the soundtrack by Disco icons The BeeGees.

34 years ago, Disco died a horrible death. Most people were not sad to see it go.

For years after, Disco attempted numerous revivals, yet never managed to come back from the dead.

Earlier this past summer, Daft Punk unleashed the hit track Get Lucky and I feared that Disco might be coming back in zombie form, but this too was short-lived.

For now, it would seem the world is safe from the Disco threat.

But we must remain vigilant.

We must never let down our guard.

Because the spirit of Disco is still out there... somewhere... plotting to return and enslave the world with its evil.

And now tha... tha... OH MY GAWD...

KILL IT NOW! — KILL IT WITH FIRE!

KILL IT WITH FIRE BEFORE IT DESTROYS EVERY ONE OF US!

You know what?

When somebody kicks me in the balls, I remember it...

   
You would think that after being repeatedly kicked in the balls by Congress, the American people would remember it.

But apparently they don't.

Because the same wankers keep getting re-elected so they can kick us in the balls again.

Which is pretty bad, but not so bad as having to listen to people bitch about getting kicked in the balls by Congress.

If you don't like getting kicked in the balls, then do your part to make sure ball-kicking assholes don't get re-elected.

Otherwise, I hope you're a big fan of getting kicked in the balls.

Am I excited for vacation? Oh yes.

Am I even remotely ready for vacation? Not even.

There is no possible way that I'm going to be able to get all my work done before I leave. Which means that, once again, I'll be on a working vacation. Typical.

Sure it sucks but, hey, it's still a vacation.

And now I should probably be thinking about what I'm going to be doing for vacation...

Don't get me wrong... I love my mobile phone and don't know what I'd do with out it... but any time I'm driving, I curse the day that "texting" and "mobile apps" ever became a thing.

Today I was driving the five minutes it takes for me to get to work. As I turned off my street, a car coming the opposite direction WAS IN MY LANE! I got as far off the road as I could, then honked my horn and slammed on my brakes... only to see them swerve away at the last minute, missing me by less than six feet. She had been texting or Facebooking or otherwise occupied and not paying attention. Needless to say I was pissed...

Then...

THEN...

I took a lunch break so I could walk to the mini-mart for popcorn and a Coke. As I was crossing the street, a car came to a screeching halt IN THE CROSSWALK just behind me.

They were probably texting or Facebooking or otherwise occupied and not paying attention. Then, oops, there's a pesky stop sign and crosswalk popping up out of nowhere! Except it didn't pop up out of nowhere. The driver was just being a stupid asshole.

And I just don't get it.

If you're driving a vehicle weighing thousands of pounds that's more than capable of killing or seriously injuring somebody... shouldn't you kinda... oh... I dunno... PAY FUCKING ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE DOING BEHIND THE WHEEL?!?

For some people, I guess a "minor scare" is not enough of a deterrant. They're going to have to kill somebody to get the message.

I really hope it's not me.

Or you.

I've written and re-written a blog post in a futile attempt to sanitize it enough for public consumption, but it just ain't happening.

Everything starts out okay, but ultimately degenerates into a profanity-fueled tirade where I go completely off the rails.

And so I'm giving up.

Throwing in the towel.

Taking the high road...

No guarantees for tomorrow.

Thank heavens the fires didn't start in June.

This is so not fun.

You'd think after the years of non-stop summer fires there wouldn't be anything left to burn.

Apparently my punishment for having a day with no complaints is to have everything go wrong for two days. I just can't seem to catch a break.

So... lesson learned: Find something to complain about, even when you have nothing to complain about, or get something to complain about. I guess that's just the way the universe works. From now on when I ask somebody how it's going... and they answer "I have no complaints!"... I'm going to respond with "THEN YOU ARE A FOOL!!!"

Because I'm all about constructive feedback.

Work has been an all-consuming day-and-night affair. I'm not just burning the candle at both ends, but instead taking a flamethrower to the candle then falling asleep on it. Except I don't have time to sleep, so I pop back up with melted candle on my face and go back to work.

Fortunately, I'm working in Zombie Country again, so I fit right in...

And now for the complaints...

• What is it with Chili's and salt? I love this restaurant, but they always over-salt their fries. And not by a little bit... but a lot. There are times I wonder if an order of Chili's fries is more salt than potato. Since there is salt on every table, this just seems idiotic. Let people who crave high blood pressure add tons of salt to their fries if they want it... leave the rest of us at least a little but healthier.
• May whomever the sadistic fuck is that designed the car rental return at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson Airport burn in hell for all eternity. I use the place twice a year and still screw up whenever I try to return my rental because it's just so confusing and badly marked. If you're going to make it this difficult, at least add some decent signage.
• Even worse? Both Apple Maps and Google Maps send you to a dead end when you try to use their services to get back to the car rental center. FOR SOMETHING THIS IMPORTANT, SHOULDN'T YOU TEST OUT THE INSTRUCTIONS YOU'RE GIVING PEOPLE? Because, obviously, 99.9% of the people trying to return their rental cars ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH THE AREA!
• Still cannot believe that Auntie Anne's pretzels has closed up shop at the airport. ALL I WANT IS A DECENT PRETZEL BEFORE MY FLIGHT, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!? Apparently.
• Lightning crashing all around the airport had me seriously thinking that my flight was going to be canceled. Imagine my thrill when it wasn't! We actually left the gate EARLY! Only to sit on the tarmac for an hour. I know that the people running the show can't control the weather... but certainly they could manage things better when it happens.
• And, of course, they didn't have the gate ready when we landed in Seattle, so we ended up sitting on the tarmac there as well.
• When I called for my hotel shuttle, I was told that it shut down 10 minutes ago. Of course their website says nothing about limited hours for their FREE AIRPORT SHUTTLE. And here's the thing... if you advertise a FREE AIRPORT SHUTTLE, you need to service all the flights arriving AT THE AIRPORT.
• And so I had to pull my car out of the parking lot, meaning that I'm now going to pay $55 extra when I put it back in the lot tomorrow. It was either that, or pay the $55 for taxis.
• My hotel sucks ass. It really, really does.

THERE! Hopefully all that complaining will put me back on track for mildly crappy days instead of horrendously shitty days.

Thanks a lot, Universe.

Nope. Not yet.

Don't go getting yourself blinded by the Super Moon... because Bullet Sunday starts now...

   
• Animal! I've been too busy to spend much time playing it, but Animal Crossing: New Leaf was released for the Nintendo 3DS. It's pretty much the exact same game as Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing: Wild World, and Animal Crossing: City Folk. Basically you run around catching fish, hunting bugs, harvesting fruit, collecting seashells, and other tasks... all so you can earn money to buy cool stuff for you and your house. Except this time the little character you take control of is mistaken for the mayor, so you have other responsibilities as well. It's fun and all... but if you've played any of the other games in the series, you've pretty much played this one...

That being said, it's still an entertaining way to kill some time each day. And the 3-D effects are done very well, which makes it visually interesting as well. If you've never played Animal Crossing before, this would be a good place to start. If you have? Well, if you didn't tire of it before, you probably won't mind playing it again.

   
• Twikies! And so Hostess has a new owner and is going to start distributing their snack-cakes once again come mid-July. This will mean nothing to me... unless they decide to at least try to have the appearance of healthy ingredients by eliminating the LARD from their products...

A switch to vegetable oil would mean that I can start eating Ding Dongs again after 23 years of avoiding them like the plague. And it might give them a fighting chance of surviving in a slightly more health conscience world where parents are not wanting to feed their kids LARD.

   
• Devious! I could never get into Desperate Housewives because it didn't really go anywhere and wasn't a very entertaining ride. Now creator Marc Cherry has come up with his next television distraction... Devious Maids. The cast is really good, so I had high hopes that this time it would be worth watching...

Sadly, after watching the first episode, it seems as though it's just going to be more of the same. Somebody's been murdered and everybody has secrets. I'm guessing they're just going to dance around everything for years until the show is so senseless and boring that they get canceled and have to slop together some answers. Again. No thanks.

   
• Equality! Here's hoping that the highest court in the land remembers what America is all about in the weeks ahead...

If nothing else, we could finally tell the equality opponents to take their ridiculous "arguments" against freedom and just shut up already. Though the parodies of their faux pain over something that doesn't even affect them are almost too good to give up...

Yeah, definitely going to miss that.

   
• Shiiiiiiiiit! I don't even know what to say about this...

People be crazy. People be crazy.

   
Annnnd... it's going to be a long week.

The big news of the day? I'm out of paper towels.

Ordinarily, paper towels are not something I tend to think about. But when you don't have any... and then you run into a situation where having a paper towel would be really handy... well, all of a sudden you become a huge paper towel fan and all you can think about is how horrible your life has just become without them...

Granted, if you're going to have a problem in life... running out of paper towels is probably the best you could hope for. But isn't whining about inconsequential crap what the internet was made for? I hope so, because that's a lot more fun than going to the store and buying more paper towels.