I keep saying that my post from 2016 is my last word on 9/11. I keep finding new things to say (but if you want to read that post, here you go: The Last Night of the World).

The reason for this is because the terrorist attacks of 9/11/01 will hang like a spectre over this country for a very long time. It's the most deadly terrorist attack in human history, it took place on US soil, and that ain't disappearing any time soon. 2,403 people died at Pearl Harbor and look how Pearl Harbor is still with us almost 82 years later. 2,996 people died in the 9/11 attacks. And when you consider that those born directly after the attacks are now 22 years old and that some of those have had children... we're now two generations after the fact. That's a while.

Yet in many ways it seems like yesterday.

Regardless of how it feels, the 9/11 conspiracy movement only seems to be growing.

And of course there's people who buy into the bullshit because they never meet a conspiracy theory they didn't choose to believe. At this point I'm waiting for aliens to be blamed, because what else is left? All I know is that it's incredibly disrespectful to those who died and the people who cared about them.

But anyway... back to the something new I was talking about.

It's the dogs of 9/11, and it's remarkable (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

We Rate Dogs is one of my favorite TikTok accounts to begin with. But this took it to the next level for me.

2001 feels like it was a lifetime ago. 2001 feels like it was yesterday.

And while I've said all I have to say on 9-11 with a post you can find here, if you'd like to revisit it, the pandemic has added a new perspective on things that cannot be ignored. Namely, that 2,977 people lost their lives then... while 193,586 people have lost their lives due to COVID-19 or COVID-19 factors right now. Dividing that by the 191 days since they started recording the numbers on March 4th... and you get around 1013 people dying per day in the USA.

Which is to say that essentially a 9-11 death-toll is happening to us every three days.

Now, there are people who are still on the "THEY ARE COUNTING ALL DEATHS AS COVID-19 DEATHS TO MAKE THE PRESIDENT LOOK BAD!" bandwagon. Personally, I think this is bullshit. They are absolutely not doing that. If you have a heart condition, then get shot through the heart and they are unable to repair it because of your existing problems, your heart condition didn't kill you... the fucking bullet did. Regardless of health problems you have, if they are usually manageable but contracting the coronavirus made them unmanageable and you die, then it was COVID-19 which was responsible for your death. And given all the horrific stuff they're learning every day about what the virus does to your body even if you're perfectly healthy... well... it's not just death you have to worry about. The complications and long-term health problems from surviving an infection could push the numbers much higher.

And sure you're still alive if your recover from COVID-19 and end up with lung scarring that makes it so that you're unable to walk 20 feet on your own... but that's just semantics. Because the life you had prior to the coronavirus infection is dead as all get-out.

It seems disrespectful and wrong to those lives lost on 9-11 to be comparing their deaths to other deaths and politicizing such a horrific tragedy, but that's our reality right now. And we do it all the time. 2019 pandemic deaths are compared to bubonic plague deaths. HIV/AIDS deaths are compared to heart disease deaths. Car crash deaths are compared to smoking deaths. Humans are always quantifying by comparison, regardless of how disrespectful and wrong it may be. Alas, that's just who we are. That's how we process.

As for politicizing? Well, it's tough to get away from that as well. We have a president who ran on a platform of protecting our lives from "foreigners" and is wasting billions on a wall which will ultimately accomplish very little. Meanwhile, the killer was in the house all along, because now we have the tapes of President Trump saying that he intentionally downplayed the deadliness of the pandemic.* He told the public that the coronavirus was not a big deal and something no worse than the flu that would disappear in April... even though he knew this was a lie. This just encouraged people to ignore a huge threat to their very lives, all while they further spread the virus, leading to countless unnecessary deaths and the destruction of our economy.

Now, of course, the president and his FOX "News" apologists are telling us that he did this because he "didn't want to cause a panic." But apparently he didn't give a shit about sending us into a panic on everything else he unleashed... and continues to unleash... using fear to get himself re-elected. THE MEXICANS ARE COMING TO KILL US, BUT I CAN STOP IT! CHINA IS STEALING OUR JOBS, BUT I CAN STOP IT! DEMOCRATS WANT TO GIVE YOU AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE WHICH WILL DESTROY HEALTH CARE, BUT I CAN STOP IT!

The guy is blowing fear and panic up our asses on a daily basis. And we're really supposed to believe that the reason he lied about COVID-19 was to not sow panic? Get the fuck out of here! Far, far more likely he was protecting his billionaire backers who didn't want the stock market to tank and ruin their profits... and even more likely that he didn't want workers to stop working and ruin his job numbers.

   
The terrorist attacks of 9-11 is a tragedy for this country and the world which will long be in our heads and hearts. And while it's comforting to think that it's an event which happened 19 years ago and is long-since over... it's really not over at all. Just like the pandemic we currently face, 9-11 is ongoing. There are First Responders still alive who are facing horrific health problems from a time they risked their lives in an attempt to save others. And since their every waking hour is a political struggle, politicizing their plight is actually necessary, and it seems only appropriate to leave you with this...

Trump administration secretly withheld millions from FDNY 9/11 health program

Trump officials interfered with CDC reports on Covid-19

Never forget? As if we ever could.

   
*And, while I'm at it, fuck Bob Woodward for keeping a lid on this information all this time... choosing only to release it for when his book was ready. What a complete and total piece of shit. Lives were lost because of you too, sir, and no amount of spin will ever... EVER... erase that. Screw exposing Watergate. THIS is your legacy now. It should be your legacy now.

As I said last year, pretty much all I have left to say on the subject of 9/11 can be found here. Now that my mom is gone, that's even more true since it's her story too. And so I'll just be linking to that entry from here on out when it comes time to remember the tragedy of the terrorist attacks.

Except...

When I was going through my mom's stuff last month I found this...

She saved her ticket stub from when I took her up the "Top of the World" at The World Trade Center on that day.

Mom saved a lot of stuff from our travels. Tons of stuff. I'm finding things like matchbooks and coasters from restaurants to brochures and pamphlets of activities we did to receipts and ticket stubs like this one. I had asked her why she'd want to save all this kind of stuff and she'd explain that it was just souvenirs. One day she thought she'd want to look back and remember all the things we did when she was too old to travel any more.

It's sad that she never got that chance. But kinda cool that she was so busy visiting new places that she never had time to look back on old travels while she was alive. Well, except for the photo books I made her. She'd look at those often. Many times while showing them to other people. Where the first words out of her mouth would be "Are your hands clean?"

Funny how I didn't start out as much of a picture-taker, but the books kept getting thicker and thicker as I was taking more and more photos. There's no book for 2006 because I helped her buy a car instead of taking her on vacation that year. I think I ended up taking her with me on a work trip to San Francisco or something, but it wasn't the same.

One of these days I really need to look at these again. And create a book for all the miscellaneous trips we took from 1994 to 2001 that I never got around to. Most of these I haven't opened in years. And one of them I can't find. Her book from Cambodia and Laos (Southeast Asia Vol. 2) has gone missing.

Even if I don't find it, I'm sure there's a matchbook from Cambodia around here somewhere.

Last year I took a blogging break for several months. I was at an all-time low in my life, and sitting down to write in a blog... which was usually therapeutic... became a form of torture that I didn't want to endure any more.

But I came back to write a post on 9/11.

Then subsequently dropped off the face of the earth again for another month-and-a-half.

I've asked myself more than once why 9/11 was the trigger which compelled me to write something serious after two months of nothing. I never have an answer. Maybe it was because I had a personal story which I had been holding onto for 15 years and it was finally time to let it go? Maybe I just missed blogging? Maybe 9/11 is such a scar on my soul that I couldn't not write something on that day.

Maybe.

What I wrote was an entry called The Last Night of the World.

I think it will probably be my last word on the subject. For this blog, anyway. Don't ask me why... I honestly don't know. It's just a feeling.

Because while I can never forget... would never want to forget... this is how I choose to remember here.

Maybe I'll feel different about it one day. Maybe even next year.

Maybe.

I had been to New York City four or five times previously for work, and had done all the "touristy" stuff I wanted to do. Then one trip I decided to take my mom with me so she could see the big city, which meant I ended up doing all the touristy stuff all over again. Since I was not a Broadway fan, I had never seen a show and had no plans of doing so... but my mom thought a trip to New York would be incomplete without "The Broadway Experience" and so I relented. Problem was... good seats at a show were expensive, and I didn't have the money for good seats. I fretted a bit about my mom's first Broadway show being seen from the back of the theater, and mentioned it to a co-worker. She told me about TKTS, a place where you could get half-off same-day shows that had seats left. I was also told that the Times Square location could get a bit nuts and I should try the location at The World Trade Center. And so the next morning, off we went... where I got us third-row seats, center-stage for "Miss Saigon." Since we were already there, I suggested we visit "The Top of The World"... which I hadn't planned on doing since we had already been up The Empire State Building. It ended up being a pretty great day... got to see NYC from the top of the Twin Towers... went to a couple cool museums... ate lunch at the Stage Deli... visited Central Park and the world-famous FAO Schwartz toy store... all topped off by the lavish stage production of Miss Saigon.

Years later, 9/11 would happen and I'd be forever grateful that fate took us to The World Trade Center for theater tickets so my mom got to see The Top of The World. She wouldn't have another opportunity.

And this is why I can't think of The World Trade Center without hearing "Last Night of the World" from Miss Saigon in my head, and the irony of it all is not lost on me.

Fifteen years later. The song still haunts me.

And so today a sculpture titled The Spirit of America... a tribute to the victims of the 9/11 terrorist attacks... was commemorated in my tiny home city of Cashmere, Washington.

And I cannot find the words to express how much I hate it.

And given that "hate" is a word that I try to avoid using when at all possible, you can probably guess just how serious I am about the situation here.

From what I understand, the sculpture was originally going to be placed in our State capitol of Olympia, but the city rejected it. Then it was going to Kirkland... then Issaquah... but they both rejected to it as well. For reasons I can't even hope to comprehend, my city said "Okay! We'll take it!" and now here we are...

The four people depicted in the sculpture... a fireman, a flight attendant, an office worker and a military guy... are smooth and realistically rendered on their top half. But then, as you pan downward, they char and blacken as if being consumed by flames...

What the hell?

Seriously, what the hell?

I would hardly call this a "tribute"... it feels more like a grotesque mockery of those victims who lost their lives. With that in mind, I find it detestable and disgusting, and am horrified that it's now a permanent fixture in my home town. Even putting all that aside, could there BE a place that's least affected by the events of 9/11 than a tiny city all the way across the country? I mean, obviously all Americans are affected by 9/11, I would never debate that... but having a monument here feels entirely disrespectful to those who actually lived through 9/11 half-a-world away. Is a Pearl Harbor memorial next?

Now, before people jump all over me for "misinterpreting the art" or start calling me "unAmerican," let me just state for the record that I am sure the artist's intention were good and noble. I have no doubt whatsoever that his heart was in the right place. But I am absolutely certain that I am not the only one who will "misinterpret" the piece as people being burnt in terrorist effigy. To be completely honest, I don't know how else to interpret it. And for that reason I'm pretty broken up over this case of good intentions gone horribly wrong being just minutes from where I live and work.

Outside of actually being at Ground Zero, where a 9/11 memorial is entirely appropriate, it seems the proper way to pay tribute to those who lost their live is to remember them in our heads and hearts.

Whereas here people were thinking with their hearts... but seem to have left their heads behind.

Honestly, I tried to come up with something better than I wrote last year. I tried last night. I tried this morning. But I just couldn't do it. Everything I have to say I said 365 days ago, so I'm just going to reprint it and hope that the me from the past can speak where words are failing me in the present.

Originally Posted on September 11, 2011

I deleted my blog from ten years ago so I can't tell you with any certainty what I was doing back then. I might have a vague idea over a span of some weeks or months but, if you were to pick an individual day, I'd be hard-pressed to tell you what was happening.

For every day save one, of course.

I was working as a consultant and running late for a meeting on the morning of September 11, 2001. I didn't have time to turn on the television, nor did I have time to turn on my computer. I went directly from my bed to the shower to my car for the 20 minute drive to work. When I arrived, I vaguely remember some talk about an airplane crash as I walked through the lobby. But, for all intents and purposes, I was completely unaware of what had happened three hours earlier at the World Trade Center.

It wasn't until I walked into the conference room and saw the television replaying footage of The Twin Towers collapsing over and over again that I knew of the horrific events unfolding in New York.

And, like most everybody else on the planet, that news coverage became my life for the next several days.

As the tragedy would become our lives for the next ten years.

Because those iconic structures may no longer be with us... but they're not gone either. I watch a rerun episode of Friends, and there's the Towers in an establishing shot. I pop in my DVD of Eddie Murphy's Trading Places and the Towers are there. I read an old Spider-Man comic book and there they are again. I look through old photos and...

But that's me.

For those directly affected. For those orphaned or widowed. For friends and family of those who lost their lives. For those who now suffer from the debilitating effects. For those whose lives were forever changed. For so many people, I'd imagine it's quite different. They don't need a TV show or a movie or a comic book or a photograph. Their reminder is everlasting.

As is their pain.

I'm sure at some future date when all the people who were alive to remember the world before 9/11 are gone, perhaps the nightmare will start to fade.

In the meanwhile, we remember.

Because we need to remember.

Because it's impossible to forget.

Because our hope for peace must prevail.

They say that even a stopped clock is right twice a day, but in my case it's just not true.

The batteries in my Mickey Mouse wall-clock at work died at 7:28 while I was in Chicago. And since I arrive both after 7:28am and before 7:28pm I don't see the clock being correct even once. And since I don't even know if my office exists when I am not there, I'm not going to make assumptions about what happens when I'm gone. Logic would dictate that the clock does indeed read correct at 7:28am and 7:28pm, but I'm not going to drive to work to find out.

Because I have more important questions on my mind...

• What time is it in Bahrain since there's a Hard Rock Cafe I'd like to visit there one day? Google says it's 8:08am tomorrow in Manama, Bahrain.
• Manama? Mahnahmahna!
• I miss the Muppets. I wish Pixar would do something with Muppets, like a Pigs in Space movie. I love Pixar. I wonder when the Monsters Inc. prequel is coming? Ugh. Not until June 21st of next year. I think Monsters Inc. is my favorite Pixar film. But I loved The Incredibles too. Why don't they make a sequel to that film?
• Ooh! What was the name of the woman who played the sexy voice of Mirage in Pixar's The Incredibles? IMDB says it was Elizabeth Peña of I Married Dora fame. A show that ended with the lead character flying off to Bahrain.
• Why in the heck am I so obsessed with Bahrain now? Probably because I haven't been there.
• But isn't it odd how I'm thinking of Bahrain and a totally unrelated question leads me back to Bahrain? Everything is connected, I guess. Or all roads lead to Bahrain.
• And wasn't it Bahrain where Chandler was moving so he could get away from Janice on Friends? No... that was Yemen. Another place I haven't been. I haven't been to a lot of places because I keep going back to the same places.
• Well, not all places. How many years has it been since the fortune teller I visited in Hong Kong told me that I'd be back to Hong Kong in a year? It was 2005. And since I haven't been back yet, he's off by seven years. so far.
• I guess predicting the future is a crapshoot. They never get it right in the movies. Have any movies got it right? Not really. Not even Strange Days from 1995... and they were only predicting four years into the future for 1999.
• Argh. Who was the actress in Strange Days that I don't like? Not Angela Bassett, she's awesome, but the other one? Ah. It was Juliette Lewis that played the toxic waste bitch that Ralph Fiennes was obsessed with.
• How in the heck did Juliette Lewis become a thing? Holy crap! She was in I Married Dora, which means all roads really do lead to Bahrain!
• Ah Dora. It seems like only yesterday that show was on. What was I doing yesterday? I was flying back home from Chicago with a First Class upgrade in the Mickey Mouse plane.
• What was I doing one week ago? I was mourning the loss of Michael Clarke Duncan and waxing poetic about American Cheese.
• What was I doing one fortnight ago? I was worrying about a cat that's been wandering around my parking lot. I've named her Spanky.
• What was I doing one month ago? I was flying to Portland for friends, free hummus, really good ice cream, Batman, and a zine show for Thrice Fiction.
• What was I doing one year ago? I was preparing for my trip to Australia and admiring Kate Winslet.
• What was I doing one decade ago? Blogography didn't exist. My previous blog that I was writing back then is gone. So I don't know what I was doing. It was a Tuesday. It was also the day before the one-year anniversary of 9/11. At some point I'm certain that I was deciding which of the five photos I've taken of the World Trade Center I was going to post to my old blog in the morning.

Which means nothing has changed, because that's what I'm going to be doing right now.

Well, that... and planning a trip to Bahrain.