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Walt Disney World: Seven Dwarfs Mine Train

Posted on September 9th, 2024

Dave!Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... The last time I was in Orlando for work was September 2019. Before that I believe it went 2017, preceded by 2015, preceded by 2014? It's hard to remember because those pre-pandemic years all blend together (but are easier to remember than the period from 1990 to 2003 when I was going 3 to 4 times a year).

The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train attraction opened in 2014 in Magic Kingdom. Which is to say that I had four opportunities to ride it when I was there, but by that point I was so burned out on Walt Disney World that the only reason I'd go to the parks for was a haircut or to eat (mostly at Epcot's World Showcase, but sometimes I'd go to Magic Kingdom for Casey's Corner or Disney Studios for Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater or 50's Prime Time Cafe).

This time I finally made time to ride it.

Which is tough because you either wait in the Standby Lane for 60 to 90 minutes or you have to pay $12 for an Individual Lightning Lane to skip the wait. But, hey, at least you have the option to wait in line (unlike Tiana's Bayou Adventure, Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, and TRON: Lightcycle Run). The ride is to the right of the castle across from The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh...

The Seven Dwarfs Mine Car Ride Location on a map.

The ride itself is pretty cool.

The Bad...

  • Length. I'm going to put this in both the Bad and Good columns. It's bad because it's under three minutes, but it's good because at least it's not under two minutes. If you've waited 90 minutes to ride or paid $12 to ride, that's not a great return on your investment.
  • Price of Admission. Whether you're paying with your valuable time or paying with actual money, there's a cost to ride this attraction. I'd argue that any time you have a wait that's over an hour on a ride that you're overselling tickets to the park, but that's just me.
  • Not Everybody Can Ride. When I rode it the second time, the car ahead of me had a couple on the large side trying to ride. They couldn't fit. At first I thought it was because the woman's backpack wouldn't fit on the floor because she was futzing with it and I was going to tell her that I'd set it at my feet... but that wasn't it. She couldn't get the lap-bar to lower far enough to engage. I don't know if it's because the two of them together were too big or it was just her... but she was understandably upset and on the verge of tears. What's worse is that the cast member couldn't accommodate them ride-swapping where one rides while the other hangs out with their bags, then they swap. It's not one big seat that two people sit in but two individual seats side-by-side. This is really unfair. And before anybody comments with "IF SHE WANTED TO RIDE, SHE SHOULD GO ON A DIET!" you should know that I've known people who live far healthier than I do... barely eating a salad for every meal and walking daily... that were very heavy, while I eat garbage and don't exercise and am thin. There's more to your weight than what you eat. But anyway... I don't understand why Disney doesn't have one car that's a single-wide seat which can be used by two people or one large person. Or something so that bigger people can ride. At the bare minimum they should have a "test car" out front like they do for TRON: Lightcycle Run so you can see if you can ride before standing in line 90 minutes or paying $12. Really bad form for Disney here.

The Good...

  • Story. Imagineers took the time to make the ride make actual sense, which is nice. The segment in the middle which has you slowing down to see the miners in the mine actually mining is =chef's kiss= exactly the kind of thing I expect from a world-class Disney attraction.
  • The Cars. Excepting the fact that they don't provide a cart which allows larger people to ride (as mentioned above) the way the cars swing from side-to-side is pretty cool. It's not a huge movement, but it's there and you do notice. Very cool.
  • The Queue. A good chunk of the line is indoors and air conditioned. But it's better than that... they have interactive games and distractions you can play with here and there. Kinda nice if you're in line for an hour or more (especially if you have kids).

   

Bullet Sunday 872: Walt Disney World Edition

Posted on September 8th, 2024

Dave!Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... You only thought that I shot all my Disney World bullets last week, but it's just not true... because an all new VERY SPECIAL WALT DISNEY WORLD EDITION of Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Monsoooon! Because I've been to Orlando dozens and dozens of times over the years, I've been here at all times of year. But hurricane season is always the time that can be a bit dicey. One top of an actual hurricane (which I've experienced twice) that can shut down Walt Disney World (which I've experienced once), you usually get some showers in the afternoons. But sometimes you can get these torrential downpours that make it impossible to be out and about. On the Sunday I was at Magic Kingdom, we had one of those. And it was a rare sight indeed to see the park empty as everybody went running for cover...

A massive downpour in an empty Magic Kingdom's Main Street USA.

Though every once in a while somebody would be running around...

People running through a massive downpour in an empty Magic Kingdom's Main Street USA.

   
• Weather! The thing about visiting Walt Disney World in the Summer is not just the hurricanes that can pop up, but also the unrelenting heat and humidity. I don't mind the heat, but the humidity can really get to me when it's on top of the heat. Which is why I don't mind it when there's a sprinkle or overcast clouds. On top of cooling things off a bit, you also get prettier photos...

A beauty shot of Cinderella Castle in Maginc Kingdom.

Cinderella Castle really pops when it's not trying to compete with the glare of the sun!

   
• Send in the Drones! Rumor has it that Disney is looking into using drones as an alternative to fireworks for some shows. This is not surprising, because of the cost and environmental impact that big fireworks shows have are not great. There have been a few drone shows in the past, but the first big show I'm aware of is the Dreams That Soar show at Disney Springs. It's very well done, and some of the 3D objects that are created are incredible to behold (I'm looking at you, WALL-E and EVE). There's also a Star Wars segment that's pretty special...

It's the Death Star built out of drones!

Drone entertainment is just going to get better and better. Will it ever truly replace fireworks? Probably not. But given the benefits to both Disney and their guests, it's only a matter of time before we start getting drone shows in the actual parks.

   
• Secondhand Mickey! My first watch was a Timex Mickey watch that I loved. Eventually it broke, and I've always wanted a replacement. So imagine my surprise when I saw that Fossil had a new take on the old watch that was being advertised on Facebook! Except two problems. A) The price? FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS! and B) What the heck is going on when the placement of that second hand?

Mickey has a secondhand penis!

Nigh pornographic. Which I'm not opposed to, of course. But I am a bit hesitant to spend FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS on something which such a bizarre design to it.

   
• Country Bears Redux! The Country Bear Jamboree is an original Magic Kingdom attraction that proved so popular that it was duplicated in both Disneyland and Tokyo Disneyland. And while the Disneyland version closed over two decades ago (necessitating "Bear Country" being renamed "Critter Country"), Disney World's version kept chugging along. Until Disney finally decided to update it, reopening the attraction this July. The bears got new costumes... and new songs. This time countrified versions of Disney movie classics like You've Got a Friend in Me from Toy Story, A Whole New World from Aladdin and Kiss the Girl from The Little Mermaid. Fortunately, Baby Oscar is still in the show, except he has a hat and no longer has his teddy bear (Mayer!) that he squeaks at the end of songs. I think it's a Big Al plushie? I dunno...

Baby Oscar

Surprisingly, the new take on a classic attraction really works! It refreshes something that was badly outdated and makes it into something new. It's essentially a sing-along for the kiddos who know all those Disney songs by heart. Fun!

   
• PhotoPass-Out! Disney has loads of photographers around the park ready to take your photo in all kinds of places with all kinds of characters that you can get with a PhotoPass. And I'd probably buy one if I had kids despite the insane cost (all photos from my week-long trip cost $209.99 and a single day is $74.99), but I don't care enough about it for myself to spend that kind of money (if my friends want to buy it, that's on them!). Except... if you get a Lightning Lane MultiPass, you get your ride photos included. You also get your photos if you go on a tour that has them (like Wild Africa Trek). Sorry, but you still have to pay for your character photos with Mickey Mouse & Company. But anyway... PhotoPass has some serious problems. First, for two days during our trip there were only a handful of photographers available (no idea why), and they asked you to take photos with your phone. How bad is it to pay $209.99 to take your own photos? Second, for really popular spots, there are no photographers but an automated camera in a box that randomly snaps photos that simply cannot take the place of a real person. Third, I cannot imagine that a lot of people are paying the hideous cost to buy their photos. Instead they shoot with their phone (like we did) and pay nothing. But Disney is still paying all those photographers and still taking all those photos that are never purchased. If my PhotoPass was half the cost... say, $99... I would have totally bought it! I bet a lot of people would. If it was half the cost would they make double the money? I dunno. But I'll bet they'd make at least the same money with a lot more happy guests. Fourth, the app and website where you manage your photos is terrible. I tried multiple times to download the photos on my phone. I deleted and re-installed the app three times. Never could do it. Instead I had to you the website, which has massive problems of its own. Just look at what happened when I downloaded them...

Not only could PhotoPass be a massive perk for guests if it were affordable and worked well, I think it could be more profitable for Disney as well. But it would take a commitment to improvements that I don't think Disney would make given that they just announced a bunch of other expensive projects. And it's a shame, because PhotoPass is a brilliant idea that I think park guests could embrace more than they have.

   
• Competition! Big changes are underway in Orlando, and the new Universal Studios Epic Universe park opening up next year is driving much of it. Disney finally had to react by announcing a bunch of new stuff for Walt Disney World at D23 just last month. But it's not just their local competition that Disney has to worry about. There's other parks around the world that will be eating their lunch if they allow it. One of the biggest that I've not yet been to is Europa Park in Germany. Recently there was a fascinating documentary released which goes behind the scenes and gives you a look at what it takes to run one of these things. If you enjoy theme parks, it's worth a look...

Makes me want to have several billion dollars so I can dust off the plans for my Daveland theme park and Daveland Resort and build them!

And that's the last Disney Bullet Sunday for a while. Only a couple more Walt Disney World entries to go!

   

Walt Disney World: Cosmic Rewind

Posted on September 6th, 2024

Dave!Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind is my favorite of all the new attractions I rode. It's an immediate classic because it's so well done and so entertaining. If Disney is going to fart IP over absolutely everything, I hope it's as thoughtfully done as this. I went in expecting it to be another Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith being an indoor coaster with music... but walked out feeling like I had been slapped across the face. In a good way.

Which is not easy for me to say for two reasons...

  1. It replaced Ellen's Energy Adventure, which I really liked (hey, at least the dinosaurs were actual physical animatronics instead of being crappy screens like Na'vi River Journey).
  2. The attraction goes against the concept of Epcot's "Future World" which was to explain how the planet is moving into the future in a realistic way, focusing on the land, the seas, the body, energy, transportation, and the like. About the furthest it strayed was Journey Into Imagination, but even that was designed to show how dreams and imagination can be harnessed to build our future. This ride attempts to explain it away, but it really doesn't. Everything about it is fiction with no basis in reality.

But anyway...

You enter the "Wonders of Xandar" pavilion to learn about the planet (featured in the first Guardians of the Galaxy film) and the queue actually reflects that. There's exhibits and recordings and stuff all about Xandar to entertain you while you stand in line. Then you get transported through a jumphole to actually visit Xandar when, oops, a Celestial shows up and steals the Cosmic Generator to travel back in time and erase humans from existence. Just as the Celestial hops through the jumphole to the past, The Guardians show up and tell you that you will have to chase after him and retrieve the Cosmic Generator if you ever want to make it back to earth and, you know, keep existing. You board an evacuation shuttle to follow the Celestial and chaos ensues.

Not a lot for me to be critical about, but let's recap, shall we?

The Bad...

  • The Location! In the queue you learn that Epcot was chosen as the location for the Xandarian outreach pavilion because it was Star-Lord Peter Quill's favorite park as a kid (especially the "Universe of Energy" pavilion, which is hilarious given that this ride replaced it). But it's completely against the whole idea of what Future World is supposed to be about, and seems so badly out of place. Unless they're going to shoehorn in IP stuff everywhere else as well. In which case Epcot is out of place in Epcot. In all honesty, I think the intellectual property mandate is going to really hurt the parks (some IP is good, but they need to remember that the attractions can also create IP... like Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion did).
  • No Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel? I don't get this at all. Even if they were unavailable when filming was done, they could have easily recorded their dialogue any time after because they play CGI characters. I don't know why they wouldn't want to contribute to a Disney attraction, but I guess that's possible? More likely Disney didn't want to pay them. Regardless, Cooper is sorely missed because Rocket isn't Rocket without him. I really do hope that eventually he gets to re-record the voice so the character feels authentic.

The Good...

  • The Track & Cars! The track is laid out very well and is buttery smooth. Almost unbelievably smooth. This is something that people who don't generally like rollercoasters might be able to handle because it's Just. That. Smooth. It's got two launches and they're integrated beautifully. Launching coasters are my favorite, and while this isn't the most thrilling... it is tied with my all-time favorite (the Incredible Hulk Coaster, which was the first launching coaster I rode). Plus the cars you ride in can rotate so the ride can maximize available space by having you look in the direction they want you to look.
  • The Story! The fact that rollercoasters are being given stories now makes them so much more interesting. And when the story is good, it adds an entirely new level to the usual dips, loops, and spins. The whole ramp-up pre-show is great, but it's the way it's faithfully continued during the actual ride that makes the attraction so amazing. If I have a criticism, it's that it resolves too quickly but, hey, you're on a rollercoaster, so that's not something that can really be helped!
  • The Music! Paying homage to the films, you get some incredible 80's tracks to listen to as you're zipping around the cosmos. And which track you get determines the feel of the ride. The first time I rode it we got I Ran by Flock of Seagulls, and it was by far my favorite. It fit the story they're telling so well, and the beat really hit as you run through the story. Everybody Wants to Rule the World was a bit more chill and gave an entirely different vibe to the ride, which is why the re-ridability is off the charts. Blondie's One Way or Another also worked really well, and there were parts of the ride that it fit so beautifully. There are six different songs total (and I'm sure they'll get swapped out at some point), and you can't help but want to hear them all.
  • The Characters! With the exception of Rocket, who could have really benefitted from Bradley Cooper's voice, it was very cool to see the entire team represented. Not just on the ride, but the queue. Drax steals the entire show every time he appears, but everybody has a good part to the story to play. Which leads us to...
  • The Pre-Show! Not only did they somehow get Glenn Close to reprise her role as Nova Prime (in a huge pre-show part to the story), they also managed to get Terry Crews as a new character to inject some humor into the attraction. As if that wasn't enough, the pre-show has two parts with a very cool transition which sells the illusion of having been teleported to a ship in Xandar orbit very well. The queues and pre-shows for rides are incredibly important, and this is my favorite since Back to the Future: The Ride.
  • The Length! In an age when Disney coasters are clocking in under two minutes, Cosmic Rewind is a blissful three minutes twenty. Any attraction under three minutes needs to be seriously re-evaluated, and I'd argue 3-1/2 should be the bare minimum. If you include the queue and pre-show, the ride feels even longer than it is, which is how it should be.

UPDATE: I didn't understand how the entirety of a high-speed coaster could fit in the old "Universe of Energy" pavilion, and guessed that they must have expanded it out the back somehow. So I ended up Google Mapping it. Turns out that the old building (in green) it merely the queue, pre-show, and loading area. The actual launch for the ride shoots you into another massive building entirely (in blue)...

The new building built for Cosmic Rewind

Interesting to note that the launch takes you over a service road! Also interesting is that the building looks at least five stories tall. Maybe six. That, folks, is how you get an indoor coaster to last over three minutes! And be incredibly entertaining!

   

Walt Disney World: Avatar Land

Posted on September 5th, 2024

Dave!Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... When I was in Orlando for work in 2017, Pandora: The World of Avatar had not yet opened. I was a month-and-a-half too early. But I was expecting good things. Years prior you could see construction of the "Floating Mountains of Pandora" (AKA "The Hallelujah Mountains," from one of the most cringe scenes in the movie when Norm pumps his fists and is all "YES!" in a moment so fucking embarrassing I seriously worried the actor would never work again). In 2019 the only parks I visited were Magic Kingdom (for a haircut and a veggie dog at Casey's Corner) and Epcot (to eat dinner in Italy and Morocco). NO PANDORA FOR YOU!

But anyway...

Here we are seven years later and I finally made it...

The Hallelujah Mountains of Pandora!

Now, I'm not exactly sure what "Pandora" (not the bracelet) is supposed to be. I think that, like with Star Wars Land, once you cross the threshold into Avatar Land, you're actually supposed to be on Pandora. The attractions certainly make it seem that way. When you're on the Flight of Passage ride, they say you're connecting to an avatar body not across the galaxy, but kilometers away. But unlike Star Wars Land, where there's a good transition to the area, Pandora is like... right there. You pass Pizzafari, walk across a bridge, pass a giant seed pod (or whatever it is), and BAM! Welcome to Pandora. Not a big deal, of course, but it feels like a disconnect.

I did not get to see Avatar Land at night, but apparently that's a great time to see it because things light up and look amazing. I wanted to see what I was missing so I Googled photos people had taken. And, yes, it does indeed look impressive. Next time I'll have to check it out.

But anyway...

You're in a Na'vi village with places to eat and shop for souvenirs (all expensive, some ridiculous). Plus experience two attractions.

The first is Na'vi River Journey. You board a boat and float down a Na'vi river. Hence the name. Along the way you get to see creatures and plants and stuff that makes Pandora so cool. Except the ride is just so... bad. It's boring and less impressive than just watching Avatar. I like the idea as to why it exists... you can experience Pandora at night in the daytime... and I appreciate that. But yikes. Here we go...

The Bad...

  • Boring. Seriously. You don't do anything but float and look. There's no story. There's no adventure. There's nothing to do. You're just sitting there. In some ways it's less exciting than It's a Small World.
  • Screen Hell. There are a grand total of two Na'vi animatronics. TWO! One waves at you as you enter and is silly. One is singing to you as you leave and is phenomenal. And while there are physical fake plants and some simple physical creatures around (like seeds of Eywa and those spinning lizards) all the interesting stuff is on frickin' screens. That alone makes this attraction pretty bad. They should have filled the thing with animatronics and made it worth your valuable time. It's pretty sad when Elle's Energy Adventure had a more exciting ride-through because at least the creatures you saw were real (well, not real-real, but animatronic-real).

The Good...

  • That Na'vi Priestess Animatronic. I mean, seriously. Wow. It's gorgeous. So fluid and realistic-looking. If they had six more of these on the ride... plus some cool animatronic animals... this ride would have been a total banger. As it is, I don't know that this one thing makes the entire attraction worthwhile. Probably. If the wait isn't too long. But there's really no need to ride it more than once. And that's a serious problem. They should refresh this for its 10th anniversary in 2027, because yikes.

The other ride, Avatar Flight of Passage, is the complete opposite of all that. This one attraction makes the entirety of Avatar Land worthwhile to exist. You visit a scientific facility where you are linked with an avatar that is making a flight on a banshee. You then get to experience what the avatar is experiencing, and the way they make it all work is really cool and about as convincing as you can get until there's a big leap in technology. You put on a pair of "flight goggles" (3D glasses), climb on a link saddle, then get put in the middle of a 3D movie as your link saddle does its best to convince you that you're actually riding a banshee. It's pretty great. Unlike Na'vi River Journey, this one is worth your valuable time...

The Bad...
  • The Logic. There's some things that don't make sense and are not addressed. It was my understanding from the movies that once a banshee gets linked and bonded with during the Na'vi right of passage, they are bonded with for life. If the rider dies, then the banshee will never bond with anybody else. Which is to say that everybody in the ride queue with you... day-in and day-out... are linking with the same bunch of Na'vi over and over and over again? Don't they get tired? If that's the case, humans must have a very limited sequence of DNA in order to link with them because surely there's a limited number of avatars and banshees available. I dunno. I'm probably over-thinking it, but I've read the Avatar books that explain all this stuff in detail and it seems like Disney and James Cameron could have done more to make this make sense.
  • Discomfort. The link chairs are not exactly comfortable. Especially for me because I have a bad ankle. You're supposed to keep your feet flat on the floor while being bent forward, which is something my right foot just can't do because I injured it ages ago skydiving. I did it (in pain) while the cast members made their walkthrough, but then bent it so I wasn't crying through the entire ride. And I don't get it. There's absolutely no reason that you can't bend your foot! You're locked in, so it's not even a safety thing. Although I'm guessing that's what they'd say. I was worried that they'd kick me off the ride if I didn't so I tried to comply at the start, but it was so unnecessary. They should install pegs so people with mobility issues can at least be comfortable.
The Good...
  • The Tech. This is essentially a version of Soarin' except everybody is sitting on their own link chair. And those chairs are great. They move well. And they frickin' breathe! Once you're linked to an avatar, you feel what they feel and that involves the banshee breathing between your legs. They really sell the illusion of flight and it's a lot of fun.
  • The Movie. The 3D film is what's going to make or break the experience. Fortunately, it's incredibly well done. The 3D is subtle so there's not weird moments where things are unrealistically punching you in the face. The flight path you take is thrilling. There's moments where you land and take in the view that keeps it feeling real. And, most importantly, it really looks like you're on Pandora.
  • The Pre-Show. The queue is nothing special. But once you enter the pre-show chamber, they create a great illusion that sells what you're going to experience. Rather than just making you stand on numbers without any attempt to make it make sense, you're standing on them to get scanned so they can find a compatible avatar. You then have to go to the corresponding link chair so that you're linked with the correct avatar that you were matched with. It's a more immersive way of getting people assigned their seat than you usually see.
  • Re-Ridability. Even if the experience wasn't so amazing, you'd probably still want to ride it again because the movie is so wonderfully detailed. There's stuff going on that you'll miss the first five times you ride it.

They really need to get on another attraction for Pandora so they can take down River Journey and fix it. It's a real sore spot in what could be a top-tier experience.

   

Walt Disney World: Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure

Posted on September 4th, 2024

Dave!Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Despite liking the attraction overall, I was disappointed that Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway didn't take full advantage of their trackless cars.

But Remy's Ratatouille Adventure does, and it's a pretty brilliant ride. Finally giving the France Pavilion the great attraction it deserves, it's located in back of the original pavilion structures...

A map of Epcot's France Pavilion with Remy's Adventure!

The story of the ride is that you're shrunk down to the size of a rat (while riding in rat vehicles, natch) and get dropped down a skylight into Gusteau's restaurant where evil Chef Skinner chases you and Remy around trying to catch you. Your end goal is to escape and make it back up to Remy's rooftop restaurant, Bistrot Chez Rémy.

Not much else to say except I love the attraction. So let's recap!

The Bad...

  • Missing! I rode this four times trying to see everything (thank you Lightning Lane Multipass!). It wasn't until the last time that I realized I had missed part of the ride the previous three times not because there was so much going on (except there is), but because the rat car I happened to be in was at an earlier position. In rides 1-3 I was late to all the scenes. It's not critical stuff, so no big loss, but it was fun to see things I didn't previously (but wish I had).

The Good...

  • The Story! While the how of you shrinking to rat-size isn't clear, it really doesn't matter. Once you're dropped into the restaurant you're trying to escape... and characters from the movie are there. Alfredo, Colette, Emilie, Pompidou, and of course Remy and Skinner. The ride makes sense within the framework of the ride and the movie. Refreshing.
  • The Cars! Trackless vehicles and the ride actually relies on them being trackless. You regularly peel off from the other rat cars in interesting and seemingly random ways where more of the attraction is revealed to you. It's absolutely brilliant, and feels more frantic and chaotic to match the energy of the ride. They're also shaped like adorable rats, so... bonus!
  • 4D! You wear 3D glasses because there's screens where part of the story plays out in very good 3D. But there are times you end up in 4D as well. You drive through a kitchen storage pantry where giant food ingredients are there. You run under a gas oven when the flame turns on and get blasted with heat. You drop into the kitchen and the scent of cheese and bread (I think?) are blown at you. You hide under a cart and and the giant wheels on either side start turning when you move. A mop gets flung your way and water sprays at you. It's all just so wonderfully well done.
  • Delay! Now, as I mentioned in my only "bad" bullet above, the last time through I saw some things I didn't see because I was previously late to the scene. On that run, it felt a couple times that our vehicle was delayed. Maybe it was because I was there longer since my rat was first to arrive, but I don't think so. But here's the thing... if there was a delay... the ride didn't freeze up. Instead it seemed as though the scene I was in got extended. There's rats opening a bottle of champagne in your direction. On my 4th time through, the rat opening the bottle stopped and took some deep breaths several times before the cork popped. That didn't happen other times. Which makes me think there was a delay unloading vehicles or something, so things got backed up and our scene was extended on the fly. This is incredibly cool. And should be the future of attractions like this.
  • The Queue. You're on the rooftops of Paris at night with a big Gusteau's billboards in the background. And you get to look in windows and such as you make your way to the load platform. It's beautiful. And sets up the ride in a really good way.

   

Walt Disney World: Star Wars Land

Posted on September 3rd, 2024

Dave!Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... The last time I was in Orlando was September, 2019. The month prior to that, Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge opened at Disney's Hollywood Studios. It was wildly popular. I figured that I would avoid the park entirely and just wait a few months because I was returning in April of 2020. Surely the crowds would die down by then! But then the pandemic happened, and it would be five years before I returned to see it.

The land is still wildly popular and crowded. Existing on the planet "Batuu," the location is called "Black Spire Outpost" and takes place during the sequel trilogy timeframe. Its story says that it was once a vibrant, thriving place but eventually became a kind of backwater trading port that's home to smugglers and sketchy outlaws. AND KYLO REN?? Who is out recruiting visitors to become First Order operatives and trying to root out Resistance spies...

Kylo Ren walking around Black Spire Outpost.

There's also places to shop and eat. My favorites being the Batuu Outdoor Market with little stalls that have souvenirs, and Oga's Cantina, a very cool bar where I got my Smiling Loth Cat Tiki Mug. The entire land is very well themed, and it feels like a physical place. Which is about all you could want as a Star Wars fan.

There are two major attractions in the land...

Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run...

It's the Millennium Falcon at Black Spire Outpost!

The story of the ride is explained in the queue and goes something like this... The Falcon is on loan to Hondo Ohnaka by Chewbacca so that he can steal some energy cells from The First Order to help The Resistance. Hondo (which is a fantastic animatronic) is accompanied by the droid R5-P8 (both characters are from The Clone Wars animated series)...

It's R5-P8 looking menacing!

You are recruited to pilot The Falcon to do the job. As you work your way through the queue, you get to look down at The Falcon, which is awesome because it means Disney actually built the entire exterior instead of what you can only see from the ground...

It's the top of The Falcon!

And it's not just the outside, when you finally make it to the actual ride, you're literally inside The Millennium Falcon!

It's the 3D chess table inside The Falcon!

Once you're in the cockpit with five other people, you're divided up into six versions of three jobs... Pilot, Gunner, or Engineer. The pilots are easily the best job. If you're seated on the left you move the ship left and right, if you're seated on the right you move the ship up and down. Gunners and Engineers just press buttons that light up. You're trying to hunt down a flying transport train to blow it open so you can steal the goods. Let's recap, shall we?

The Bad...

  • Pilot Error. You all have to work together to get the best score. And some people aren't suited for flying a ship at all. Or, if you're me, you've never done it before. I've played video games, which helped, but it would take 3 or 4 runs as pilot before I'd be any good.
  • Mash Them Buttons. It gets worse... the Gunners and Engineers have their control buttons to their sides, but all the cool stuff is happening out the cockpit window to the front. You kinda have to use your peripheral vision to watch for buttons to light up so you can press them. If you don't and just look at your buttons, you'll miss absolutely everything happening on the ride. If you just look out the window, you'll not know when to press stuff. Because of that, I liked pilot best, but it's a high-pressure job because so much is riding on your skill to drive the mission, which cuts the fun a bit unless you've got five other understanding people flying with you.

The Good...

  • The Story. Everything going on is nicely planned. It feels plausible within the framework of the Star Wars Universe.
  • The Characters. The animatronics for Hondo Ohnaka and R5-P8 are fantastic.
  • The Ship. Imagineers did a phenomenal job making you think that you're actually in the original Millennium Falcon. So very, very cool. Every Star Wars fan's dream.

   
And then...

The other ride is Rise of the Resistance. And it's stunning. The first time around, anyway. Basically the idea is that you're recruited by Rey and BB-88 to rendezvous with General Leia Organa. You'll get there by boarding a shuttle with a bunch of other recruits. In a very cool sequence, because the shuttle then blasts off the planet (you see yourself leaving Batuu when you look out the windows). Alas, you're captured by Kylo Ren. You then get forced off your ship to be herded into prison cells to await interrogation. But then... rescue! You're put into droid-driven cars to get you to the escape pods. A wild adventure ensues.

The Bad...

  • Reliability. I rode this, then went to ride it again thanks to my having got Extended Hours at Disney Studios. It broke down before we ever made it to the shuttle. Time waiting in the queue utterly wasted, with no Lightning Lane ticket for your trouble. And the ride goes down all the time. They need to drastically look into fixing these constant breakdowns.
  • Busted. There are parts of the ride that broke early on and have never been fixed. At one point you're in your car riding past a big space battle as blaster canons fire above you. Except the motion of the cannons is broke. So your car is stopping, reversing, and starting to avoid cannons that aren't even doing anything. It's pretty shitty. The parks are making millions. Fix the damn ride.
  • Viewpoints. If you get a good spot, you actually see things that you won't if you don't get a good spot. On the shuttle it's entirely possible to be shoved against the wall where you can't see the ship taking off... or see Mon Calamari in the command center. You may not even know what's going on. Once you're captured and inside the ship, there's a big battle in an AT-AT bay. Where Finn(!) is there to help rescue you. Except if you're in the wrong car or in the wrong spot of the car, you might not even see him.
  • The Minor Animatronics. When you are in a room with an entire legion of stormtroopers, you're shocked at first. But then you see that only a couple of them are moving, and the movements are minor. They rotate their head a little bit or whatever. It's kinda silly. More movement would have really sold it, because you spend too much time staring at frozen figures and it doesn't work.
  • Re-Ridability. The only reason to re-ride this thing is because you got bad spots and didn't see stuff. Otherwise it's not such a thrilling experience that you'll want to spend 60-90 minutes waiting to ride it again. The best thing about the ride are the massive sets that are shocking to behold when you are first exposed to them. The scale of it all is mind-blowing. But once you know what to expect? There's just not much else there. I did end up riding it twice (on another day since it was busted during my extra hours event), but the second time was kinda meh.

The Good...

  • The Shuttle Takeoff. It's simple, but effective. The only thing that could have made it better would have been to have a rumble floor or something to sell the illusion harder.
  • The Concept. The idea of you being captured by The First Order, and how they build the story around that is pretty cool.
  • The Scale. When I say that the massive scale of some of the sets are mind-blowing, I really mean it. You get deposited into a room that's so huge you have a tough time wrapping your head around it. That's an amazing achievement.
  • The Main Animatronics. The Admiral Calamari and Kylo Ren animatronics are stunning. Sure the Kylo figure has a derpy moment when a hole is blasted in the room (he looks like his feet have been nailed to the floor and it looks crazy-stupid) but they're great. Other figures like Finn don't have great movement, but at least they are always moving.
  • The Effects. The effects that are working are pretty good. Some of them look expensive (like Kylo Ren coming at you as his lightsaber ignites, which is some kind of screen/practical lightsaber hybrid) and some of them look simple and inexpensive (like Kylo Ren's lightsaber plunging through the ceiling to cut a hole for him to get you). But none of them look cheap (except the ones that are broken, of course).

   
Overall, I'm quite happy with the job they did on Galaxy's Edge. If you're a Star Wars fan, it's an experience to savor. There are things which could have been done better, sure. But for what it is I'm impressed. I actually wish I would have had more time there so I could have eaten at Oga's Cantina. And maybe Docking Bay 7 and Ronto Roasters too. And I am still hoping for another attraction to draw me back so I can eat there one day.

UPDATE: I was curious to know how they managed to get so many people through the queue on Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run, because the ride only hold six people at a time. I ended up on a Reddit page which had a map that explains it, and I am completely blown away. Turns out there are not six people riding at a time, there's ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY! (plus there looks to be two ADA-compliant cockpits, so I guess it's actually a max of 132 riders possible?). There are four turntables with seven cockpits each. At any given time, one of the cockpits per turntable is loading while one is unloading while five are riding the ride. GENIUS! Just look at this...

It's the insane Millennium Falcon Sugglers Run ride map!

While in the ride I guess I remember that there were people standing in different parts of the holo-chess room, I just didn't think about it much because we were waiting there to get in the line at the cockpit door. Even if I did realize it, I would have sworn there was just one cockpit behind each door! This actually explains a lot, because they have groups of riders stacked up at each door at all times. Not because they're just being "ready to go," but because they are constantly loading new groups as the turntable rotates into position. I don't have the words for how smart this is. They can keep a steady stream of guests riding and yet the guests really have no idea what's happening unless they Google it like I did! Kudos to Disney Imagineering!

   

Walt Disney World: Runaway Railway

Posted on September 2nd, 2024

Dave!>Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... "Nothing can stop us now! I'll tell ya how, we're gonna make it happen! Let's take a ride. And spend a day in the countryside!"

Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Over at Disney's Hollywood Studios, they have opened Mickey & Minnie's Runaway Railway in the old Grauman's Chinese Theater replica. It opened in 2020, replacing the boring The Great Movie Ride (in Disneyland they built a new building in ToonTown)...

Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway Location on a map.

The concept of the ride is that you are going to the theater to watch the latest Mickey & Minnie cartoon... Perfect Picnic. There's not much to the queue, but you do occasionally get rotating digital posters for other Mickey & Minnie cartoons...

As you are watching the Perfect Picnic cartoon, an accident in the cartoon causes the screen to explode, allowing you to step inside the cartoon and board the train that Goofy was driving in it. But, uh-oh, the train comes un-hitched from Goofy's engine car, and away you go. From there you go through various scenes as Mickey and Minnie try to get your train car under control so they can continue on to their perfect picnic. Overall, it's a very well-done attraction that's pretty entertaining. So much to look at as you ride through, which makes it good for repeat viewings. A far, far better use of space than The Great Movie Ride it replaced. Let's sum it up, shall we?

The Bad...

  • Reliability. The thing is always breaking down. I think it was down every day I was at Walt Disney World. Once it broke down while I was in the queue, for which I received a Lightning Lane good for everything except what you'd want it to be (Slinky Dog Dash and Rise of the Resistance). When I returned, the part of the ride where you watch the start of the cartoon and the screen explodes wasn't operational, and you just walk through the exploded screen (robbing you of the entire premise, which they are announcing over the speaker system).
  • Unnecessarily Trackless? The ride cars are trackless, meaning that they can move entirely independently of each other and the ride itself. But there's only two times that this really comes into play. The first is when Goofy's engine car drives off without you. The second is when you somehow end up in Daisy Duck's dance studio and your car starts dancing with her instruction. Everything else feels very much like it could have been on a track. That's a bit of a bummer, and I really wish they had more space to take advantage of it.

The Good...

  • The Style. I love, love, love the 2-D style of the new Mickey & Minnie shorts. It fits the characters flawlessly and is so much fun. Plus they're original white again instead of Caucasian, which means they're more relatable to more people. And the other characters look incredible too... Daffy, Pluto, Goofy... it's all amazing. And the way that they turned the 2-D animated characters into 3-D animatronics is darn good too. The whole ride is beautifully appointed 2-D turned into 3-D and I love it.
  • The Music. I swear, I have not stopped hearing "Nothing can stop us now! I'll tell ya how, we're gonna make it happen! Let's take a ride. And spend a day in the countryside!" in my head since the first time I rode it. The tune they sing is a total bop, and it's so great that they put some thought into it to make it so memorable.
  • The Location. Putting a movie ride in a movie park (and a cartoon ride in a cartoon land for Disneyland) means that the ride actually makes sense for where it sits. This is something obvious that's very quickly disappearing as Disney craps out intellectual property anywhere they can cram it in.

   

Bullet Sunday 871: Walt Disney World Edition

Posted on September 1st, 2024

Dave!Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I'm back to Real Life and am too busy getting caught up with life to blog... but never you fear, because an all new VERY SPECIAL WALT DISNEY WORLD EDITION of Bullet Sunday starts... now (and next Sunday, since there's too much stuff for just one!)...

   
• Hot Ones! Before we get down to it, I just have to share this amazing appearance by Donald Duck on Hot Ones. I love it when cool things like this happen...

   
• My Disney Experience App! One key piece of the Walt Disney Parks puzzle is their app. You use this app for absolutely everything from viewing all the plans you've made and managing restaurant reservations to ordering quick-serve meals and viewing attraction wait times...

It also tells you what's going on at the park... with things like parades, character meet-and-greets, and hotel activities at your fingertips. If you have a PhotoPass you can even view and download your photos. It sounds awful to be chained to an app all day long, but I love the thing. It's so remarkably handy. Especially for restaurant reservations. You get a push notification when your reservation is ready. You check in to confirm you got the notification. Then you let the app know when you're at the restaurant so somebody can take you to your table. It's just such a good experience. It's also cool how if you have a Lightning Lane MultiPass you can book another Lightning Lane after you scan in for the one you're at while standing in line. And of course you can use the app to gain access to the park and your hotel room. But there's something else that does this without having to take your phone out of your pocket.

   
• MagicBand+! A "MagicBand" is an RFID device that you wear on your wrist which allows you access to a number of things throughout your Disney experience. They used to be something you got free when you stay at a Disney resort, because it acted as a room key, park pass, and even a method of payment when your credit card is on file. But now you have to pay serious money to get one. Eventually "MagicBand 2" came out which looked more like a watch. Then, in 2022, Disney released "MagicBand+" which added interactivity with various statues throughout the parks and also had colored lights which would glow and change when you're near various attractions. Available in a slew of different designs, the new version is rechargeable so you can use it over and over. My Orange Bird band looks like this...

Wearing an Apple Watch in Mickey Mouse mode with an Orange Bird MagicBand+

Full disclosure, this is not my first Orange Bird MagicBand+. These things are notorious for falling off your wrist, and that's what happened on Day One of my vacation. This is despite having a "BitBelt" on it to help it stay on (this is the third one I've lost). This is a common complaint, and it's more of an issue for some people than others. I honestly don't understand why Disney doesn't put a better clasp on them, because it's crazy stupid that my Apple Watch has never fallen off once, but the MagicBand+ falls off me with almost no effort. Fortunately, if you have an Apple Watch, you don't really need a MagicBand+. I was able to do everything except interact with the statues (which is kinda dumb) and look at the lights that flash during fireworks shows or in certain attractions. If you have a compatible Smart Watch, I'd take a pass.

   
• Resort Early Access! There are many benefits to staying at a Disney resort hotel that's on-property. It's so amazingly beneficial that I have long suggested to people that it's better to save money for an extra year to stay with Disney as opposed to saving money and staying at someplace cheaper outside the park. Though that's not as true now as it used to be because free airport transportation is no longer included. It used to be that you also got extra hours at night for a couple parks each week, but that perk is only available if you stay at one of the "Deluxe" properties now. What all Disney resort guests do get is 30 minutes early entry to all the Disney World parks. But the attraction you want to ride before everybody else may not be running until the park opens for everybody. Take for example the wildly popular "Slinky Dog Dash" roller coaster in Disney's Hollywood Studios. The line is open a half-hour early, sure. But it doesn't start operating until the park opens! So all you really get is to stand in line before everybody else and only have to wait 30-45 minutes instead of the usual 90 minutes. Still useful, but not as much as it could be.

   
• Worthless Events! I attended two of these. The first was Extended Hours at Disney's Hollywood Studios. Instead of having to leave when the park closes at 9:00, you get to stay until after midnight. It used to be that this was an incredible opportunity to ride attractions with very short waits. Ride "Tower of Terror" in ten minutes! But that's absolutely not true any more because Disney over-sells the event. Slinky Dog Dash was minimum 40-45 minutes for the entire event. Which is really shitty after paying a bunch of extra money. Half as long as during park hours, but not short enough to be worth the cost. The second event I got was the "Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party," which was also a bust. The intent was to go on rides while everybody else was watching the "Boo To You" parade. But the parade was canceled due to rain and, since this event was also oversold, ride lines weren't any shorter. You also have the opportunity to trick-or-treat for candy, but it's the same fun-size candy you get at a store, so it's definitely not worth the money. Kinda sad that Disney is overselling these things, because they used to be something worth paying for. Now they're just not.

   
• Keys to the Kingdom! I hadn't been on the "Keys to the Kingdom" tour in a while so I decided to do it again. This tour takes you behind the scenes of Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom. You get stories about how the park was designed and made. Trivia about various Easter eggs around the park. And an exclusive look at the "Utilidors" (service corridors) that are beneath the park...

Map of the utility coridors that are under Walt Disney World.

The Utilidors are incredible. They allow garbage to be pulled out, stores and restaurants to be replenished, and employees to get to their posts... all without being seen by guests in the park. If you've been on all the rides and are looking for something new and different to do, I recommend the 5-hour tour. The price is very reasonable for the amount of time you get, and you also get to skip the line on a couple of rides! It's my second favorite non-attraction thing at WDW (after the "Wild Africa Trek" in Animal Kingdom).

   
• Character Moment! The character meet-and-greets are really well done. Most times they find people who are really into playing the character they're representing, and they're great with the guests. Sometimes the actors are better than others, but at no point do they outright fail. At least not that I've seen. Where the failure came to me was when I saw Ariel (The Little Mermaid) appearing in the app, and Disney felt the need to qualify it with "Ariel (From the Live-Action Story)...

Ariel (from the Live-Action Story)

And it's like, come on. When Belle from Beauty and The Beast appears, they don't tell you that it's "Belle (In Her Peasant Dress)" instead of Belle in her more famous princess dress... or tell you whether it's Belle from the animated or live-action movie... so why is it necessary to qualify Animated (AKA WHITE) Ariel from Live-Action (AKA BLACK) Ariel? They are both equally valid Ariel characters! I can only guess that they wanted to head off complaints from parents who would be all "THAT'S NOT ARIEL! MY CHILD WANTS TO SEE WHITE ARIEL!" or whatever. Disappointing.

   
And tomorrow we'll resume with even more Walt Disney World commentary.

   

Caturday 371: Walt Disney World Edition

Posted on August 31st, 2024

Dave!>Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... I usually buy something for my cats to play with when I go on vacation.

After I got back from my trip to Disney World, I had to order a replacement Orange Bird MagicBand+, so I ordered a small plush for my cats so they had a souvenir as well. Except when I got it, the thing wasn't "small" at all. Orange Bird was as tall as my cats and maybe even a little taller! So there goes my plan where they (but mostly Jake) would be dragging him all over the house as they do with their other plushie toys.

Jenny ran back upstairs the minute she saw it. Jake, on the other hand, was curious...

Jake sees Orange Bird and is wary...

He gave Orange Bird a couple sniffs. Batted at it once or twice. Then walked away...

Jake sniffing Orange Bird...

Jake and Jenny both has been ignoring Orange Bird ever since.

Oh well. I tried.

As for myself? The souvenir I bought for me was a Grinning Loth Cat collectible tiki mug from Oga's Cantina at Galaxy's Edge...

The matte grey one from Walt Disney World Florida is not as cool as the glossy shaded brown one from Disneyland California, but I still love it.

And, as much as I'd love to set it out, I worry that it would then become another souvenir for my cats once one of them knocks it off a table or something. So it gets to be put in my glassware cabinet.

   

Walt Disney World: TRON Lightcycle/Run

Posted on August 30th, 2024

Dave!Continuing on with my recent trip to Walt Disney World... Let's get on the gaming grid, because Shanghai Disneyland's TRON Lightcycle/Run has come to the USA, y'all! Well, technically in China it's "TRON Lightcycle Power Run," but I think it's the same ride. And, spoiler alert, I love the attraction despite the fact it's really short (I think the ride time is under two minutes!).

The story of the ride is that you are getting digitized to ride for the Blue Users to battle the evil Yellow Programs on the lightcycle grid (which will make sense to you if you've ever seen the film TRON... and if you haven't, why not?).

There's three things about the experience which make this such a good ride...

1) Most of the ride is in a building where there's screens that show you your opponents whizzing along with you as you race to block them with your lightcycle hard light trail. But after launch you exit the building for a nice loop under a canopy that lights up at night... and has hex grids which follows the cycles as they pass. It's wildly cool and you can see the canopy at night from various places in the park. A beautiful addition to Tomorrowland...

TRON ride canopy in light blue with Space Mountain in the background.

TRON ride canopy in dark blue.

2) You're not sitting in a roller coaster car, you're sitting on a roller coaster lightcycle (kinda a futuristic motorcycle). It's not incredibly comfortable, but it's for two minutes and you just don't care because you're on a lightcycle...

TRON lightcycle cars being loaded in the ride.

3) The track is fast. 60 miles per hour fast. Launch coasters are my favorite and, while this isn't my favorite, it's nice to have another one added to the growing list of Walt Disney World coasters.

And my recap? Glad you asked!

The Bad...

  • Length. This ride needed to be longer. Yeah, I know that two minutes is not really that short when it comes to launch coasters (Aerosmith Rock 'n' Roller Coaster is a minute-twenty... and my favorite, The Incredible Hulk Coaster is two minutes-fifteen), but the amount of time (or money) it takes to ride this thing demands that it be a longer experience.
  • Cost. Whether you are able to snag a Virtual Queue spot for the privilege of standing in line to wait to ride it... or you spend the cash to skip the line by buying an Individual Lightning Lane (either because you don't like lines or you couldn't get in the Virtual Queue) there's a cost involved. I really hate that.
  • Risk. It is entirely possible that you could go to Walt Disney World specifically to ride this coaster only to not be able to. You couldn't get a Virtual Queue. You couldn't afford the Individual Lightning Lane. You couldn't get an Individual Lightning Lane because they sold out. It could happen. The days of going to a park and just standing in line to ride do not apply to TRON: Lightcycle/Run.

The Good...

  • Everything Else. But Mostly The Design. Everything about it is cool. The canopy. The lightcycles you sit on. The story. The queue. The way you "race" against your competitors. Even the pass-though lockers to store your stuff. It's all so good. Worth the effort to ride even though it doesn't last that long (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!).

And now? Time to watch Tron for the hundredth time.

   

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