I am mostly dead today. Sitting in my living room with air purifiers on full blast trying not to die from having been out in an Air Quality Index of 258.

In other news... the surprise fourth season of Ted Lasso has been airing. And it's got a real meta thing going on.

This series is about Ted coaching women's football. Which, as you can imagine, has many fans of the show outraged because it's a different take on Ted Lasso than the show they fell in love with. Which proves the entire point of the new season. And the show-runners drove that home by having a shareholder's meeting. After the Greyhounds were discussed (or rather, not discussed, thanks to Roy Kent being Roy Kent) and the conversation switched to the Lady Greyhounds, most of the room got up to leave.

But, hey, to me even the worst season of Ted Lasso is better than most of the other crap on television...

And now? I need to pack a suitcase...

The problem with having smoke allergies during wildfire season is that you're sick all the time. It never stops. All the classic allergy symptoms plus a constant headache plague your every waking moment. And while you'd like nothing better than to sequester yourself in a room with multiple air purifiers, it doesn't work like that because life must go on.

You dope up with antihistamines and Advil and go to work.

Or you try to.

This morning I left the house without my backpack containing my weekend work and my laptop. Turned around and went back for it. Then I got all the way to work and realized that I left my MagSafe wallet at home. Turned around and went back for it. And then I walked into my office and remembered I wanted to bring some toast with me. At which point I said "screw it" and found some stale crackers in my filing cabinet that were close enough.

And the week is just starting.

Just checking in to let everybody know that I'm still alive during my 11th COVID vaccination and the 7.3-second full gravity reversal that happened yesterday! Sure I woke up with a bit of a sore arm, but I'm totally not dead. At least not yet.

OR AM I ?!?

For all you know I could totally be dead and typing this from beyond the grave.

Given that the air was new levels of toxic thanks to the wildfire smoke everywhere, I certainly feel like I'm dead...

You can just make out the nearby hills on the left-hand side there. Which is to say it's not a good day to have smoke allergies like me. I end up taking all kinds of pills and inhaler shots to keep my lungs from itching and driving me insane... and aspirin to help push through the headaches.

There ain't enough medicine on earth to take care of the watery eyes and runny nose though. Those I just have to live with.

OR DIE WITH, if you're paying attention.

Though it's entirely possible that I've been AI all this time. Which would be cool because it means the trillions of dollars spent on the crap was worthwhile for something.

Our brave firefighters keep gaining ground on the wildfires in the area that have been burning for over five weeks, and it's looking like there's finally light at the end of the tunnel. Today the fire to the north reached 55% containment. And while the fire to the south was holding steady at 7% for weeks, today they announced that the crews there have managed to achieve 10%.

The bad news is that what kind of day I have depends entirely on how the wind blows, because the smoke is still pretty bad.

Every once in a while blue skies will arrive... for a while... which means my lungs won't feel as fuzzy, my eyes won't be burning as severely, my head will be less likely to start exploding, and I won't be coughing as much. I also won't have to take an excessive amount of allergy medication.

But it's always fleeting.

Which is to say that I still go directly to work in the mornings then go directly home afterwards. And still feel awful most days.

Thank heavens for grocery delivery! But even then, having to open the door to receive my order guarantees an instant headache until the air purifiers can get things under control again.

Can you believe that I honestly thought we'd make it through the Summer without a wildfire?

I wake up every morning and look out the window to see what kind of day I'm going to have. If I can see the surrounding hills, it's probably going to be a fairly good day (at least to start... who knows where the wind will take us). If I can't see the surrounding hills, I'm pretty much guaranteed a day of misery from the minute I walk out the door. And today was one of those days. We were socked in and I could smell smoke on Jake when he walked in, which means he was out in the catio.

But, as I lay here now at night? I can see a star.

Sure it's just one, but it gives me hope for tomorrow. It would be nice to be able to go outside instead of hiding in my house all weekend.

And now... for all the Swifties out there, today was the day...

The album that changed my mind about Taylor Swift was 1989. It was pop perfection and had the lyrical masterpiece that is New Romantics. Then she followed it up with Reputation and Lover and I was convinced that she was going to be on my "Best Of" list until I was dust.

But then she took a turn with Folklore and Evermore which lost me. Fortunately Midnights was a return to the Taylor I enjoy listening to, and I thought maybe... but then The Tortured Poets Department had only one song I truly liked (along with a smattering on the first part that were okay) and I thought "Well, it was fun while it lasted."

And now we get The Life of a Showgirl.

It runs the gamut, going from pop optimism and clever musical turns to a dis track on (assumably) Charli XCX and a bouncy song about her fiancée Travis Kelce's dick being as big as a redwood that opened her thighs.

In the end, this album is a partial u-turn back towards the 1989 era. Though it does get dragged down by a few tracks that won't be added to my playlists any time soon.

As for the others? Thank you, Taylor! I'm enjoying them.

The wildfire smoke has been so bad that I ended up taking the weekend off. From everything. Including blogging.

Despite the fact that I cowered in my home with air purifiers on full power... Saturday was residual misery from going to work in heavy smoke on Friday, and Sunday I made the mistake of taking out the garbage without a mask. In a city which I would later learn had the worst air quality in the entire country.

Fires to t he North. Fires to the South. And I read that some people are starting to wonder if the fires might merge. At which point I will be evacuating along with the rest of the city.

Personally, I think it's unlikely. As the weather cools and rain is forecast, fire containment by our firefighters seems the safer bet. Fortunately, it's not July right now, or I'd be pretty worried.

Well, more worried than usual.

My view on the way home yesterday felt like the End of Days.

A canyon outside of town is under immediate evacuation. Air tanker planes are flying overhead, shaking the house and freaking out the cats. The fire began 24 days ago. Now 31,000 acres are in flames. Winds are making containment difficult. We could really use rain... but I worry that it could come with lightning and start more fires...

I honestly thought we'd escape a major fire this season. Guess not.

The wildfire smoke was back with a vengeance this morning, which made for a miserable day. I masked up in a futile attempt to not end up with itchy lungs, which is the worst, but to no avail. I had to drive into the Big City after lunch and ended up pulling over on the way back to puke my guts out into my car's garbage bag. Doesn't get more fun than that.

After stopping by home to brush my teeth, I went back to work and felt like dying for two hours. Then I drove home and have felt like dying for four more hours.

The good news is that the Air Quality Index dropped from a hazardous 294 to a slightly less hazardous 257.

The bad news is that it will probably still be smokey enough to make me sick tomorrow.

Also the bad news... more misinformation bullshit has been unleashed upon an unsuspecting world... vaccines AND Tylenol causes autism now?!? God. I suppose not even the fact that the World Health Organization has declared there's no evidence of any of this will make no difference. Just throw it on the ever-growing pile of idiocy that's going to fuck over humanity. I mean, if people believe the earth is flat, they'll believe anything.

Meanwhile, I'm off to bed way too early in the hopes that I can somehow fall asleep so my lungs can clear out and not feel fuzzy and itchy any more. Where's my Tylenol PM?

And... fire season has arrived.

I honestly thought that we'd somehow get away without a local fire filling the valley with smoke. Fires were around us all Summer, they always are this time of year, but we never had such bad air quality that I ended up sick. Until today when I could barely function at work and had to leave for part of the day.

Allergies suck bad enough when it's pollen... but smoke? That goes past being uncomfortable to debilitating shades of misery and suffering. I feel my lungs itching from inside and there's nothing that can fix it. Breathing is tough. And eating anything more than crackers is impossible.

So here I sit confined to my house with air purifiers on full-blast and every entry sealed... eating soda crackers and drinking 7-Up Zero while trying to ignore the fact that I wish I could pass out from having been outside.

Hopefully things will clear up over the weekend so I won't have to go through this all over again on Monday.

And so I took a week off blogging. I have to take so many medications to function at work during the day that I have to stop taking them when I get home so that I'm not in a 24/7 stupor. It's very difficult to form coherent thoughts while coming off medications, coughing your head off, and having your nose and eyes running like a faucet.

Thank heavens I was smart enough to not post right away, but wait until morning so I could review what I wrote.

And I wrote such gems as "...wishing I had time off so I could take time to not have to worry about not having time to do stuff..." and "I wonder if I wonder the smoke will ever stop smoking."

And so I decided to have a one-week sabbatical, visit my sister (where it is significantly less smokey), and spare everybody my incoherent ramblings.

Which, admittedly, is a minor step down from the semi-incoherent ramblings I usually drop on Blogography, but a guy has to have his standards. Mine are low, but not in the basement. Yet.

We may get there in short order if I have to suffer through this wildfire smoke much longer.