The wildfire situation here is quite dire. Again.

Around a hundred people lost their homes in the Pateros region of Washington State. Highways are closing down all over the place. Local businesses are losing loads of tourism dollars during their busiest time of year.

And with more lightning strikes in the forecast, there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.

The flames aren't landing on my doorstep... yet... but the air is so full of smoke and ash that you don't want to leave the house without a mask on. Which seems like such a petty thing to complain about when houses are falling like dominoes... but it's miserable. There's only so long you can live in smoke before it drives you a little crazy.

I don't know how the firefighters manage it day after day.

But bless them for doing so.

Here's hoping some relief comes soon.

When you step outside into the 106° F (41° C) blast furnace that is my home, the heat is the least of your worries. The air is filled with smoke and ash from the wildfires in the area, which makes breathing a bit of a chore.

The skies sure are pretty though.

Beneath the smoke that's rolling across the horizon, there's a golden glow that kisses the landscape until the sun goes down...

Too hot to sleep.

Too smokey to sleep.

Too sweaty to sleep.

Too tired to sleep.

I could really use some sleep.

And so... it's fire season again.

Some places have hurricanes. Others have floods.. tornados... earthquakes... name a disaster. Everybody has something. We have wildfires. They got scary close to where I live back in 2004. This time it's a slightly less worrisome 15 miles away near Entiat.

Local photographer Frank Cone has some amazing shots in his Flickr Photostream of the flames...

Entiat Wildfire Image by Frank Cone ©2014

Entiat Wildfire Image by Frank Cone ©2014

I feel terrible for all the animals that will die... and those who survive only to be homeless and hungry.

Thanks to the firefighters who, as always, put their lives and safety on the line doing a dangerous job to protect people and property in harm's way.

And so the smoke was even worse today.

I woke up with a raw throat, swollen eyes, and a stomachache so bad that I had to crawl... crawl... out of bed. After force-feeding myself a handful of antihistamines and a box of antacids, I crawled back into bed where I stayed for another four hours.

Needless to say, this is not the best place to be for somebody like me right now...

And so I peaced-out of the valley and fled to the coast where I can actually breathe.

Hopefully sometime soon the wildfires will get under control so I can go home again.

I started the day with a flat tire. That would be bad enough, but we're on fire again.

I thought my hometown would make it through the summer without a massive wildfire outbreak in the area but, alas, it was not to be. The flames they are a ragin' in the canyons throughout the valley. Fortunately, things aren't nearly as bad as they were back in 2004, but the skies are filled with a smokey haze and the smell permeates everything...

This is bad news for me, because strong smells like smoke and incense make me sick. I get bad cramping that makes me feel like I have to poop 24 hours a day, on top of having a sore throat and headache. Sleeping is almost impossible. Working is a struggle. Eating makes me sicker. If things get much worse, I'm going to have to flee to the coast just to be able to function.

It's always something. Some cities get earthquakes. Some cities get hurricanes. Some cities get flooding. We get wildfires.

C'est la vie.

And in Apple news, this happened...

As a Certified Apple Whore, of course I want a new iPhone 5. I love everything about it.

Even though its improvements are not quite as drastic from the 4S than I had expected.

My main gripe with iPhone is that it just isn't as smart as it should be for a smartPHONE. With iOS 6, we're getting a new feature called "Do Not Disturb" which will help with some of my complaints...

My phone will be on "Do Not Disturb" 24 hours a day. Because 99 times out of 100, the calls I get are ones I don't give a shit about. Today while I was on my way to get my tire fixed, I got a robocall from a fucking furniture company wanting to give me a free wine rack for attending some kind of stupid event. After screaming FUCK YOU! at the recording, I was so enraged that I very nearly threw my iPhone out the window. "Do Not Disturb" will make this kind of bullshit a thing of the past.

But there's four more things that need to happen after that...

• I want auto-redial. If I urgently need to get through to somebody, I have to be able to tell my iPhone to keep dialing until it gets through, then alert me to pick up.
• I want number blocking. If some stupid asshole calls or texts me that I don't want calling or texting me, I should be able to tell my iPhone to ignore anything from that number in the future.
• I want selective forwarding. I should be able to decide which callers get forwarded. I was hoping that "Do Not Disturb" would be tied to call forwarding, but can't find anything to confirm this, which is a shame.
• I want call transfer. Granted, this may have to be coordinated with mobile phone companies, but the ability to transfer a call to another number is a no-brainer. I long to be able to say "I'm sorry, I don't have that information, hold on a minute and I'll transfer you to a colleague who has it." Instead you have to waste your time with some kind of call merge, which is more trouble than it's worth.

These are basic features that have been around forever, and are things that anything claiming to be a "smartphone" should be able to handle. Except the iPhone can't. But, hey... the new model is 18% thinner! Or whatever.

Maybe one day, when Apple has given us an iPhone that has artificial intelligence, a 3-D holographic projector, and fits on your fingernail, they'll finally get around to the basics.

Until then, I'll be sitting here watching the world burn.