Second verse, same as the first.

My replacement flight for my unsuccessful attempt to get home yesterday was also under Weather Advisory this morning. Oh goody...

And, sure enough, our first attempt at landing failed.

Fortunately, the pilot was a talented guy, and took another long, low run at it... and I was home.

And now it's time for a nap.

I got called for work yesterday at 6:30am. Things didn't go quite as smoothly as planned, so I didn't finish until this afternoon at 3:00, which meant I was awake just over 32 hours straight. This is not something I recommend, because your brain starts going all mooshy around 28 hours in. I was hallucinating that I was a magic dolphin at 30 hours. Once I hit 32 hours, my brain started shutting down, which made it difficult to drive a car. Or even walk to my car, for that matter.

Naturally, the lawn care service was blowing leaves and mowing grass when I got back to the guest house where I was staying, which made getting some sleep a bit difficult. Or at least I thought it would... at some point I passed out.

Five hours later when I woke up I decided I wanted sugar for dinner, so I went into town for dessert.

And that was pretty much my day.

EXCEPT... I did have a conversation with a woman this morning where I remembered to ask about the girl I saw who was using chewing tobacco yesterday. "When did the ladies start packin' dips?" I asked. "Haven't you heard about women's lib? Women are doing a lot of things men like to do." she replied. "But chewing tobacco? Ewwww!" I said. "Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it" she replied.

And so I went and bought me some long-cut, Wintergreen-flavored Copenhagen dips and found me a pretty red Solo cup to spit into. Then, after an hour of scouring YouTube for "how-to" videos, I was on my way...

Now I'm buzzing' like a fuckin' bitch! As promised...

Here's hoping I don't get lip cancer and have to get my face cut off.

Nothing quite like racing through the pouring rain in total darkness in an attempt to get to Chili's before they close at 10:00. I mean, it's not like I didn't have other choices... McDonalds and Taco Bell are open 24/7. But I had my heart set on a Chili's Black Bean Burger, and apparently it was worth risking my life for.

Well, I don't know about that, but it sure was tasty. Though the fries were over-salted as usual. I wish I knew why Chili's has such enthusiasm for over-salting their potatoes. It's not healthy, it tastes like shit, and it burns your lips. Yet, without fail, at every Chili's I've ever been to, the fries are caked with salt. Maybe the company is secretly owned by Morton's?

Anyway, I made it there at 9:45, and was given my to-go burger & salty fries just as the restaurant was starting to close. Success. Originally I was going to take my dinner back to work, but it would be cold by the time I got there. So I decided to eat in the Chili's parking lot instead.

Had there been anyone there to see me, it would have been a pathetic sight... sitting there in my rental car eating Chili's alone in a parking lot while the rain poured down. The only thing that could have made it any more pathetic would be if I were crying. I probably could have cried if I took a minute to think about how alone I was, but my fries were salty enough without the tears.

On the plus side, the waitress called me "baby," which I always love. It's just one of the many charming things about Southern girls that makes me feel at home here.

Another charming thing? SOUTHERN GIRLS WHO USE CHEWING TOBACCO! This morning I saw a young lady with a big ol' wad of dip in her lip spitting into a cup while she was hanging out in the Rite Aid parking lot. Adorable! I wonder what brand of drool-repellant lipstick she uses? And something else I wonder? Was it a moisturizing lipstick that can help heal these salt burns I have on my lips? Because this is some serious pain, yo.

Thanks to a... well, let's say "adventurous"... couple in the hotel room next door, I got a late start getting to sleep. And even then it was only because of my HEAROS brand ear plugs. Now that's true love.

Fortunately, factors then decided to converge in my favor. First I found out I didn't need to be into work as early as expected. Then the hotel took pity on me and let me have a late check-out time (which was the least they could do, given the shitty bed they stuck me with). And then a colleague was late getting me some materials I needed to work on. So... I actually ended up getting some sleep last night.

That almost never happens!

Good thing too. If I was drowsy from lack of sleep, I would have ran over a very confused squirrel that wandered onto the street during my backroads drive through Georgia this afternoon...

As it were, I was able to stop in time... after leaving half the tread from my rental cars tires on the pavement.

Don't let that calendar fool you ... because a delayed Bullet Sunday on Monday starts now...

   
• Help. Long-time blogging friend and celebrated author NYC Watchdawg has written a post over at his Social Medic site about supporting medics who lost everything in Hurricane Sandy. If you want to help The Big Picture by contributing to a very worthy small piece of it, here's your chance. You'll be helping those who help others (and continue to help others despite their devastating losses) to help themselves during this very difficult time of their lives. Even if you can't donate, any efforts to spread awareness would be much appreciated!

   
• Investigation. My expedition with Paranormal Georgia Investigations was a great time last night, as expected. And while I didn't capture any evidence with my camera like last time, I did take some photos of the creepy interior of Old South Pittsburgh Hospital. Of course, they don't look half as creepy when illuminated by a camera flash, but still... pretty creepy...

Not too bad on the outside... in the daylight, anyway..

I liked documenting all the toys left out for the ghost children to play with. This is one lonely rocking horse.

I'm pretty sure this bunny was dead. Totally non-responsive.

I took this bear away from a naughty ghost child and let him go for a tricycle ride.

One sad bear. You'd be sad too if you spent your time in a cold, dark hospital with ghosts.

I volunteered to use my medical skills to remove an appendix or something... there were no takers.

Leaving my mark in Graffiti Hallway with all the professional paranormal teams.

I also tagged the scary dorm room that Muskrat and I got to stay in. We bad! We bad!

Keep in mind that in the dark, while looking for ghosts and stuff, it's quite a different scene than shown here all lit up in a photo. But that's part of what makes the experience so interesting! I'm excited to see what data the PGI team captured of doors opening by themselves and other nifty stuff. Hopefully they'll make their way through the evidence pile soon so I can post a link.

   
• Medicinal. I've mentioned a couple of times that I carry a "Travel Medicine Cabinet" with me when I'm away from home... whether it's a month... or even just a day. Since I never know where I'll be or what I'll have access to, I choose to be as prepared as possible for any scenario. From allergies, colds, and diarrhea... to lost fillings, cuts, and motion sickness. Heck, I don't even get motion sickness... I just keep it with me in case somebody else I'm with gets it...

Tonight I was very, very glad that my kit contained "Hearos" ear plugs. Let's just say that my hotel neighbors are crazy-loud with their nocturnal activities... and I was in no mood to listen to it. If there's one thing to learn from the Boy Scouts (other than "thou shalt not be gay"), it's to always be prepared. I can't tell you how many times that's paid off for me.

   
• Petraeyal. Like most people, I am a bit sickened by the massive CIA Overlord / Retired Army Gen. David Petraeus scandal that's rocking the headlines right now. Yes, he's a fucking scumbag that cheated on his wife with another fucking scumbag that cheated on her husband... but we don't know all the facts there, and it's none of my damn business what he does in his fucked-up private life. No, the sickening part to me is the FOX "News"-led conspiracy crap that this was some kind of scheme by President Obama to keep Petraeus from testifying in the hearing concerning the Benghazi attacks. Which, naturally, I learned from watching The Daily Show...

Yeah, no agenda there. Pathetic. I mean, seriously? America's best line of defense against a network that rips this country apart by spreading more lies and disinformation in a single day than North Korea does in a decade is a COMEDY SHOW? At some point, you really have to wonder how we've survived this long.

   
• Foxy. This will come as a shock to nobody, but I don't watch the FOX "News" channel outside excerpts that get torn apart and mocked on The Daily Show. Their "Fair and Balanced" credo is a crock of shit, and they are the epitome of the partisan hackery that's ripping this country apart. Just like nut job Keith Olbermann on the Left, I long for the day FOX "News" fades into irrelevance on the Right.

And because I don't watch FOX, I was completely unaware of the bat-shit crazy un-reality bubble they created around themselves with the delusion that Mitt Romney was not only going to win the presidency, but was going to dominate the election in a landslide. Until I saw their coverage on Election Night. Since I was convinced that President Obama would get his second term, there was no place I wanted to be watching except FOX. And seeing it all unfold there was a revelation. Everybody there was certain Obama would lose? Really? This made everything even more entertaining than I had imagined... until Karl Rove went into denial, at which time it just became sad. The entire network was dedicated to getting Romney elected, and they completely failed.

And while I get no pleasure seeing people genuinely upset that their candidate of choice was not elected... I fully admit to experiencing an entirely new level of Schadenfreude watching FOX News implode. And now, thanks to the wonderful people over at Pundit Shaming, I can relive the heady days of denial over and over again.

Which is almost as fun as watching Ben Afflek (YES, THAT BEN AFFLECK!) masterfully tear apart the afore-mentioned Keith Olbermann on Saturday Night Live back when people actually gave a shit about Keith Olbermann...

Schadenfreude is so not pretty. But I just don't care!

And, on that shameful note, I suppose I'm off to bed. Goodnight everybody!

This morning was kind of messed up.

But then I took the train into Decatur for a falafel lunch, and now everything is okay again.

One of the more interesting places I went was The Yogurt Tap... it's a "serve yourself" fro-yo shop that has a lot of interesting flavors. I ended up getting "Marshmallow and Graham Cracker" swirled with "Dark Chocolate" to get kind of a S'mores thing going on.

Then I poured caramel, cashews, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal over the top... which made it not taste much like S'mores any more. But it was totally awesome and incredibly delicious just the same.

But, then again, what isn't delicious with caramel and cashews poured on top?

Please make sure your seat is in the upright position and your tray table is stowed ... because Bullet Sunday starts now...

   
• In-Flight. I am typing this as I leave the Netherlands on Delta flight 233... a ten hour flight to Seattle WITH NO INTERNET! So how in the heck am I supposed to come up with bullets for Bullet Sunday when all I have here is a bunch of movies to watch on my Delta-On-Demand Entertainment System?

Oh...

   
• Game Change. This film is about John McCain's horrendous mistake in choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate based on some very, very bad advice. Is it completely factual? Probably not 100% so. But boy does it feel like could it be. The initial high that came when Sarah Palin completely killed it with her smashing debut on the national political stage had the McCain campaign ecstatic. Palin would be the savior of the ticket, and they couldn't believe their good fortune in having found her. Victory was within their grasp. But then things start to go terribly wrong. One-by-one the campaign staffers have to come to grips with the fact that Sarah Palin doesn't know much about anything. She is completely clueless on critical concepts like foreign policy. And it's the resulting downward spiral that makes the film so darn entertaining. Julianne Moore plays Palin almost too sympathetically as she gets remade from politician to actress, blindly repeating lines which have been prepared for her because she doesn't understand the issues enough to think for herself. And all the while her escalating popularity makes Palin increasingly dangerous, eventually dominating McCain and dooming the campaign to a Saturday Night Live punchline. If there's one thing I took away from Game Change, it's how terrifyingly close we came to having a vapid joke like Sarah Palin just a heartbeat away from the presidency. It's a scare that no horror movie can match. RATING: B

   
• Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I was actually looking forward to the idea of a revisionist history where our 16th president was a ruthless vampire killer. It sounded fun. Alas, the movie was most definitely not fun, because everybody involved took the film way too seriously. This was a big mistake, because there's nothing to take the edge off the intense violence that permeates one blood-soaked scene after another. One would hope that the result would be a bitchin' action-horror film, but there's not a lot of horror to go with the action (which is actually pretty good). And so what we're left with is a crazy-ass concept for a film with very little substance. I was not impressed. RATING: C-

   
• The Iron Lady. I was told by more than a couple people that this film about the life of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was boring. But I decided to watch it anyway because the thought of Meryl Streep as Thatcher was literally too good to be true. And, indeed, it was her performance that held me riveted to my tiny seat-back screen. But that's about all that held me captive. The story was a big ol' mess. It vacillated between present to past with little regard for timing or coherence. One timeline had zero relation to the other, and it was this sloppy writing which sabotaged what could have been a fascinating straightforward biography. Still, Thatcher led a fascinating life which was kind of represented here, and Streep certainly made the film anything but boring to me... so I didn't hate it. Actually kind of enjoyed it, despite the missed opportunity it represented. RATING: B-

   
• Brave. The story of a princess who isn't content to settle down and get married sounds like a modern-day Disney Princess cliché that's the complete opposite of the original Disney Princess cliché. Fortunately, this is a Disney-PIXAR film, where clichés have a tendency to at least be interesting and beautiful to look at. Brave is both. I just wish it was paced a little better. There's a few too many moments that drag on a little long and are a bit morose to fit in with the overall tone of the film. That being said, it IS beautiful. Astoundingly so. There's not a single frame of this film that doesn't look amazing. And there are a lot of clever and funny moments that saved the movie for me. RATING: B+

   
• Battleship. Holy shit. It would be easy to say that making an alien-invasion movie out of a board game doomed this film to failure... but, if anything, it's this one thing that made it barely tolerable. The only moment... the only one... that I found even remotely entertaining was when the heroes were picking their targets on a big "Battleship grid." Everything else was so inanely stupid and ridiculous that not even the decent special effects reel could keep me from fast-forwarding through this utter turd of a movie. RATING: F

   
• Moonrise Kingdom. I am such a huge Wes Anderson fan that I didn't want to experience his latest work on a tiny airplane seat-back screen. But when Battleship turned out to be such a stupid piece of crap, I needed something to watch. I ended up regretting it of course. Moonrise Kingdom is beautiful, wonderful, witty, smart, and filled with a warmth that few filmmakers can manage. I really should have waited to see it on the big screen (or at least my home theater). Which is not to say it's a film for everybody. Those who can't appreciate Wes Anderson's quirky vision may have tough time embracing the odd world he's created. Even so, there's an all-star cast that's performing at the top of their game in a coming-of-age love story that's charming enough to please everybody. RATING: A

   
• After-Flight. Arriving at Seattle I was once again embarrassed and humiliated that Seatac International Airport is the way that so many people will first experience my home state. The airport just keeps getting worse and worse, and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight as to how low things will go. I arrive at Customs only to find that the escalator is broken. This is no surprise. Most of the escalators are busted to shit most of the time. Stuff is always leaking, falling apart, torn up, or broken at Seatac. And, indeed, when I make my way to the C/D concourse and find yet another fucking busted escalator, I press the elevator call button and find that the button light is also not working (which made me think that the elevator was broke too). By the time I get to my gate at the C concourse, where there's no place to sit because Seatac has ripped out most of the seats to make way for shops, I've just fucking had it. Whomever is in charge of this shithole needs to realize that this is no way to run an airport. Flying now-a-days is already miserable enough without having to put up with this kind of shit at an airport.

   
And... my flight (which is overbooked and on weather watch warning) is maybe leaving in ten minutes. Here's hoping...

Today The DutchBitch's DutchBoyfriend was kind enough to drive us to the new Hard Rock Cafe in Brussels, where we met up with Beautiful Disaster's Pinky. I hadn't been to Brussels since The DutchBitch and I last visited in 2010, and I hadn't seen Pinky since Bitchsterdam 2, so it was a triple threat event for me.

The Hard Rock Cafe Bruxelles is a wonderful return to everything I love about visiting these properties around the world... a beautiful restoration property lovingly brought to life in classic Hard Rock style that has been packed to the rafters with terrific memorabilia...

Truly a fantastic property, the Brussels cafe is a well-crafted, eclectic, multi-level Hard Rock that doesn't disappoint. Located right off the Grand Place "Great Market" square, it is worth a visit... even if Brussels wasn't already destination worthy in its own right...

It was a very quick trip, but we squeezed in a lot. Just like it said in the elevator of the parking garage... we're hardcore like that...

From there it was back to the Netherlands and the end of my 48-hour trip to DutchyLand.

Tomorrow it's back in the metal tube to hurl myself back home.

Yes. I just flew 9 hours for an old cheese sandwich and PATATJES MET!

And now it is time for a nap.

Yesterday I hopped into a metal tube and hurled myself across the state.

And now I'm about to climb into a metal tube and hurl myself across the country... and then the Atlantic Ocean.

I seem to spend a lot of time getting into metal tubes and hurling myself places.