I really cannot be trusted with dangerous instruments any more.

Yesterday I took a phone call while I was in the middle of cutting out some cardboard pieces. After I finished the call, I went to hang up my phone... didn't realize that I was still holding my X-Acto knife... THEN PLUNGED IT INTO MY FINGER!

It hurt for a second, but I honestly didn't think it was that bad.

Until I pulled the knife out of my finger.

Blood. Everywhere.

I wrapped it in a paper towel I had in my desk, sent a couple texts one-handed on my blood-spattered keyboard, then rushed to clean out the wound and get it bandaged up.

Then come back to clean up the mess... which looked like a murder scene. I felt like I needed to call one of those mafia cleaners or something.

Anyway... it bled through multiple banadages before it clotted. Then this morning it was in pretty good shape, all things considered, and I got to clean it up. Good as almost new!

There was a casulty amongst the carnage, however.

Some of the keys on my keyboard were sticking. Since it's Apple, you can't just unscrew it to clean it out, so I did the best I can with soaking a rag in solvent so I could un-stick the keys. As I was scrubbing to get the residue out of the keyboard, I noticed that my key caps were being wiped clean!

But no problem there. I have a fine-point Sharpie marker!

I thought I was being smart by letting the keyboard dry for a couple hours, but it made no difference. The Sharpie started smearing almost immediately. So much for Sharpies being a PERMANENT marker!

Oh well. Probably need to order a new keyboard anyway since the A, W, and Q are still sticky no matter what I do.

I could be in serious trouble if I need an A&W Root Beer, and we can't have that.

Yesterday morning I awoke to discover that I had somehow gouged my right eyeball in the middle of the night. The most likely explanation is that my contact lens tore as I removed it, and a small piece got stuck in my eye. It was painful, yet not overbearingly so... a handful of ibuprofen managed to get me through the day.

Then this morning I awoke at 1:00am in searing pain. I'm assuming that I was rubbing my irritated eye in the middle of the night, worsening the injury. This time I took no chancres. I flushed it continuously with saline then looked in every nook and cranny with a flashlight. There was nothing there, but the damage had already been done. I was in agony as I stared at a computer screen while my eye was weeping all day long. It was uncomfortable to the extreme, and seemed to last an eternity.

But eventually I made my way home and took a break from computers for a while. That plus another handful of ibuprofen got the pain under control and I found my desire to live again.

UNTIL I WAS PULLING A STACK OF DVDs OFF THE SHELF JUST NOW AND HAD ONE SLIDE OFF AND STAB ME IN THE FACE... SCRATCHING THAT SAME EYEBALL... AGAIN!

And I thought I was in pain before.

I am fully of the opinion that any time you hurt a part of your body it becomes a frickin' magnet for further injury. Sprain your wrist, and you'll be bumping it all day long. Cut your finger, and you'll be smashing it in the door soon after. Get kicked in the balls and... well... you get the idea. I should have known better and worn my pirate eyepatch today, but I just wasn't that smart.

And so here I am, squinting through the tears trying to write today's blog entry.

Apparently I am in desperate need of dumbass warnings to protect me from myself...

   
I hate to be a whiner, BUT IT BURNS! IT BURNS SO BAD!

The only thing that could make this any worse would be if my headache came back...

   
   
SON - OF - A - BITCH!