Blogography Logo
spacer

   

Some Ants Love Fats and I’ve Got Moles

Posted on June 13th, 2017

Dave!So there I was, merrily hacking away on my latest project at work when I feel something tickling my hand. I look down and there's an ant crawling on it. "Well hello there, little fellow? Did you get lost?" Then, as I am getting up to take him outside, I notice ants E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. Crawling on the floor. Crawling up my desk. Crawling on my Doritos...

"HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIT! ANNNNNNNNTS!!! I scream.

I then shake off the ant on my hand, run and get the vacuum cleaner, then unleash armageddon upon the ants.

You see, when it's one ant, it's cute. When it's a swarm of ants... not so cute. That's when my Buddhist leanings towards all life being precious and doing no harm get chucked right out the fucking window. DIIIIIIIE! DIE YOU SCUM!!!

After looking around to see if Ant-Man was hiding in a corner somewhere, I went and whined about it to a co-worker. I was upset that there were ants. I was upset I had to Hoover them. I was really upset I had to Hoover my Doritos.

"Ah. They were after the Doritos then."
"What? Why? Ants love sugar. I eat Doritos because they have zero sugar."
"SOME ants like sugar. Other ants love grease."
"GREASE?!?"
"Yeah, grease. Fats. Like in your Doritos."

I Google that shit and, sure enough. some ants love fats.

I did not know that.

What I DO know? I've got moles. At least that's what the internet tells me after I shared my security camera footage...

The mole dug along my sidewalk, then popped up in front of my flower bed.

I have lived in this region of Redneckistan most of my life. I've never seen a mole. The only place I've seen a mole hill is not anywhere around here. I've also seen them in cartoons. Figures that the time I finally have a mole experience is when I buy a home and they are tearing up my front yard.

I did Google that shit to find out what I'm dealing with, only to find that moles are kinda cute...

Moles Are Cute... Photo from Adobe Stock!

They're also smaller than I thought. Like... tiny. Fit-in-your-hand-tiny. Amazing how they can cause such a ruckus when they're so small.

Anyway... turns out that moles, unlike ants, are aggressively solitary. Which means I probably only have one mole.

The last thing I want to do is kill him so, thanks to the internet, it's been suggested I try ultrasonic spikes to drive him away. I ordered them immediately and they will be here Thursday. And Thursday can't get here fast enough. The little bastard is really going to town. I came home to this...

Mole Holes in my Yard!

I may not have a yard left by Thursday!

I always wondered where "Whack-A-Mole" came from.

Tags: ,
Categories: DaveLife 2017Click To It: Permalink  0 Comments: Click To Add Yours!  

   

Civil War

Posted on May 13th, 2016

Dave!As a huge, huge, massively huge fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe films, you would think that I'd have seen Captain America: Civil War on opening day. And heaven only knows I wanted to so as to avoid spoilers that plague the internet... but work got in the way. Today I had to run an errand for work, and decided to see the film on the way back home.

And it. Was. Spectacular...

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

I'm putting my full comment in an extended entry so people who haven't seen it yet can do so... but, suffice to say, it's absolutely everything you want in a comic book movie. Go see it immediately.

For everybody else? Continue at your own risk...

→ Click here to continue reading this entry...

   

Bigger

Posted on June 11th, 2015

Dave!And so the hype machine is starting to ramp up for Ant-Man.

Nice to know that Marvel Studios isn't losing their touch...


"I think our first move should be calling The Avengers" — Ha!

Nice to know the film will be buying into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's only fitting considering that in the comic books Ant-Man was a founding member...

Ant-Man Movie Poster

Ant-Man Movie Poster

Ant-Man Movie Poster

Now I'm more excited for this movie than I thought I would be.

   

Antsy

Posted on May 23rd, 2014

Dave!Remember how excited I was over the upcoming Ant Man movie by Edgar Wright?

So, yeah... that's no longer happening.

"Marvel and Edgar Wright jointly announced today that the studio and director have parted ways on Ant-Man due to differences in their vision of the film. The decision to move on is amicable and does not impact the release date on July 17, 2015. A new director will be announced shortly."

Ant Man

That ugly bit of news was the cherry on the shit sundae of a day, and I'm not sure what this means for the film. Sure, it's still got Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas in starring roles... but what made this such a highly anticipated event for me was that Edgar Wright writing and directing Ant Man. It was such a perfect pairing. I can only guess that Marvel wanted a more serious take on the material than Wright had planned. Which is bound to happen when it's occupying the same universe as such massively lucrative properties as Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and The Avengers.

Ant Man, after all, IS an Avenger, and that's a billion dollars in bank that I'm sure Marvel is nervous about jeopardizing.

But I have to wonder if Marvel's efforts will ultimately be wasted when people get tired of all their "Cinematic Universe" films becoming too much the same and stop going to see the films. Ant Man skewing a bit more funny and wacky was a good thing.

Alas, given Marvel's stellar track record in film adaptations, it's really hard for me to be too critical.

I just hope I can say the same thing after Ant Man is released.

   

Ant Man!

Posted on December 19th, 2013

Dave!Couldn't be happier!

"When Edgar Wright came to us with the idea of Paul Rudd, we felt a huge sense of relief because the first step in creating any Marvel Studios film is finding the right star. We knew early on that we had found the right person in Paul. When he not only agreed to do it but became as enthusiastic as any actor we'd ever met with about doing the work, we knew we'd found the right guy. We couldn't be more excited for our audiences to see what he's going to do to bring Ant-Man to life."
— Kevin Feige, President of Production Marvel Studios

   

Paul Rudd

Plus Sign

Ant Man

Plus Sign

Edgar Wright

   
Well, you do the math.

It works out to several magnitudes of awesome, I'm sure. Oh how I hope that Hank Pym (aka Ant Man) makes an appearance in Avengers 2: Age of Ultron! Seeing as how he's the guy who created Ultron in the comics, it should be mandatory. But something tells me that he won't, given that the Ant Man film will be released after the next Avengers movie. It also makes sense to have Ultron inadvertently created by Tony Stark, given the sentient armor that appeared in Iron Man 3. This way things are continued to be tied together in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Oh well. That'll give Robert Downey Jr. an emotional arc to play with, that's for sure.

Can. Not. Wait. 2015 is going to be a good year for movies!

   
As a side-note... whatever happened to crediting the photographer or artist of a work you use in your story? I searched and searched for photos of Paul Rudd and Edgar Wright that had credits on them... nothing. Then I searched for an epic shot of Ant Man with artist credit... nothing. That's really unfair to the people whose hard work deserves recognition. But I guess even "professional" websites disagree, seeing as how nobody is giving credit where credit is due. It's even more infuriating when there are sites making money off of somebody's work uncredited. Shouldn't we be doing better than that?

So thanks to whomever took those photos and drew that art! I wish I knew who you were so I could give you the recognition you deserve.

   

  Home  

spacer
Welcome:
Blogography is a place to learn and grow by exposing yourself to the mind of David Simmer II, a brilliant commentator on world events and popular culture (or so he claims).
Dave FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions
Dave Flickr Gallery:
Dave Contact:
dave@blogography.com
Blogography Webfeeds:
Entries Feed
Comments Feed
Dave Social:
Blogography Tumblr
Blogography Instagram
Blogography on Pinterest
translate me
lost & found
Search Blogography:
thrice fiction
Thrice Fiction Magazine - March, 2011 - THE END
I'm co-founder of Thrice Fiction magazine. Come check us out!
free iphone app
Ask Dave iPhone App
Put Dave in your pocket with this FREE app for iPhone and iPod Touch. All life's answers await you with the Ask Dave app!
hard rock moment
Visit DaveCafe for my Hard Rock Cafe travel journal!
travel picto-gram
Visit my travel map to see where I have been in this world!
badgemania
Blogography Badge
Atom Syndicate Badge
Comments Syndicate Badge
Apple Safari Badge
Pirate's Booty Badge
Macintosh Badge
license
All content copyright ©2003-2017
by David Simmer II
   
Creative Commons License
This weblog is licensed under
a Creative Commons License.
ssl security
Comodo SSL