Not so long ago, I was lamenting that I would miss the 2013 "Delta Machine" tour for my favorite band, Depeche Mode. For some unfathomable reason, they decided to skip Seattle this time. Fortunately, Certifiable Princess saw my agony and mentioned that they would be playing in Tampa on September 14th! One very, very cheap airline ticket later plus a few thousand hotel points, and here I am!

As expected, the concert was amazing... C.P. and her husband thought so too. DM played a terrific mix of new tracks and old favorites, and backed it up with an Anton Corbijn stage show that was pretty cool (if less elaborate than what we've seen in the past).

Delta Machine is a fairly dark album that has a heavy industrial-style sound to it. I enjoyed it well enough, but it's just not the same Depeche Mode that made me such a huge fan. And though I wish they had played more classic stuff, it was still a great show that was easily worth the effort it took to get here...

1. Welcome to My World (Delta Machine). It was a good taste of things to come as an opener on their current album, and an equally appropriate opener to the show. Distinctly Depeche Mode in many ways, but not quite the sound you expect from them.
2. Angel (Delta Machine). One of my least favorite tracks off the album. It's an uneven blend of industrial grunge and blues that comes off as an incohesive mess.
3. Walking in My Shoes (Songs of Faith and Devotion). A track off of one of my favorite DM albums, performed flawlessly. I was surprised how popular the song was with the crowd... many of whom were singing along.
4. Precious (Playing the Angel). The single released in advance of the album was absolutely beautiful, and made me anticipate Playing the Angel quite a lot. But then they did something I hate... put a different version on the album. Lucky for me, the version they performed tonight was closer to the original, and sounded amazing.
5. Black Celebration (Black Celebration). The title track off of Depeche Mode's fifth album is a fantastic live track, and they were very true to the sound of the original... the addition of the live drum kit to the song tonight really helped elevate it to new heights.
6. Policy of Truth (Violator). A hallmark DM song that I was very happy to have included in the set. They went a little more "rock" with it for the stage show, which was fine, but it did make me want to revisit the original to hear it as I remember it.
7. Should Be Higher (Delta Machine). One of the more "Depeche-like" songs off the new album, it played pretty well to the crowd. I think this was one of the few Delta Machine tracks I was glad to hear.
8. Barrel of a Gun (Ultra). This was the first single from the album that redefined the band's sound, and it was a direction I embraced at the time. Looking back, I realize that this was more of a transition album than I could have fathomed, as everything kind of spiraled from there to where we are today. In retrospect, I wish the band would have spent a little more time in the Songs of Faith and Devotion era (which would be rough without Adam Wilder), but there's no denying this was a great song.
9. The Child Inside (Delta Machine). Holy crap I hate this song, and I was very surprised they included it for the tour. It's just so bad... both lyrically and musically. Apparently everybody else in the crowd felt the same way, because they entire amphitheater went completely dead. I've never seen people drop to their seats so fast.
10. But Not Tonight (Black Celebration). A song I like very much performed differently than I'm used to, but very good nevertheless.
11. Heaven (Delta Machine). It's a very nice song, but so plodding and slow that it really drug down the show. I don't know where they could have stuck it so that it would have worked, so maybe this was as good a place as any.
12. Soothe My Soul (Delta Machine). I did not like this song on the album at all, but admit that it worked very well live... maybe they sped it up and worked it harder than on the album?
13. A Pain That I'm Used To (Playing the Angel). This is a bizarre remix of a song that I like very much... I can't quit pull it out, but it sounds like they jammed in parts of John the Revelator and Steve Miller's Abracadabra. Not horrible, but boy do I wish they had stuck to the original.
14. A Question of Time (Black Celebration). I usually hate it when a really good pop song is deflated to some lame acoustic interpretation, but Martin Gore did a pretty good job with the track despite it all. But why, oh why, couldn't we have gotten the original version of the song since they went to the trouble of including it in the show? Why? SUCH a great song as it was originally released.
15. Enjoy the Silence (Violator). Probably the band's most famous song... accompanied by female contortionists molded into the shapes of the triangular screens behind the stage. It was weird. It was uncomfortable. And oddly beautiful. Just like the song.
16. Personal Jesus (Violator). An equally popular Depeche Mode favorite, it flowed perfectly off the previous song and had the crowd singing along. I may be mistaken, but in previous shows I remember it being played much stronger and harder... this time it was backed down a bit, matching the tone of the album. Even so, it was a great track to end the main set with.
17. Encore: Home (Violator). Okay, now this acoustic interpretation I did not like because the beautiful, textured, haunting score from the original is just so amazing. But, even acoustic, it's hard to deny that it's a beautiful song. Audience participation was pretty cool, as everybody kept singing after Martin had finished.
18. Encore: Halo (Violator). The guy sitting next to me was excited they performed this Goldfrapp Remix version over the original... and it was an awesome take on a great Depeche Mode song, so I was happy to hear something old made new... however...
19. Encore: Just Can't Get Enough (Speak & Spell). Ah yes. What DM concert would be complete without this track from their very first album? Kind of a tradition now, I think, which is nice thing for Vince Clarke, since he'll keep having the royalty checks coming in! Yes, it's been drug through commercial hell, appearing in advertisements and promotions, but it's still one of my favorite DM songs, and I never get tired of hearing it. There seemed to be a heavier synth vibe this performance, which I really liked... enough that it has me hoping they re-record it one day.
20. Encore: I Feel You (Songs of Faith and Devotion). It made me very happy to hear another track off my favorite Depeche Mode album! Again, I was surprised at how much the crowd was into this song. I guess more people than I thought are into Songs of Faith and Devotion but, then again, this is such an incredible song that it would have fans no matter where it came from. Would have been nice if they had drug out my most beloved DM song of all time from that album, Mercy in You, but this was close enough.
21. Encore: Never Let Me Down Again (Music for the Masses). I would have a hard time choosing just one song from the brilliant Music for the Masses to play on tour... Stripped? Nothing? Strangelove? Behind the Wheel? I mean, seriously, there's not a misstep on the entire album (probably why their live 101 album which supported it is such a classic). Fortunately, I didn't have to, and Never Let Me Down Again ended up being the perfect choice to close out the show.

Despite my pining away for more of their older material, this was an epic concert. Depeche Mode sound every bit as good now as they did 30 years ago, and remain one of the best live bands I've ever seen (with Matt & Kim being a close second). So long as they keep performing this well, the band is in no danger of losing me as a fan, regardless of where they go with their music.

That being said, can we please go in a slightly different direction on the next album? All these songs about heaven, angels, redemption, addiction, and salvation have really been played out now, and it's time to move on. I really, really don't want to have to suffer through another version of The Child Inside.

20min shuttle ride + 2hr waiting + 4hr 15min flight + 1hr 25min layover + 2hr 15min flight + 3hr time change = 13hr 15min of travel on no sleep.

I can't quite remember where, but somewhere along the way I lost my sanity. I'd be upset about that, but I'm just too tired to care anymore.

Anyway...

Remember when I used to love Earl of Sandwich?

When I would travel hundreds of miles out of my way to eat there?

When I would wax poetic over every sandwich consumed in my blog?

When I would visit the same Earl restaurant and get the same sandwich every day I was even remotely near one of their locations? Sometimes twice a day?

I used to describe their food as "orgasmic" and "my favorite sandwich on earth" and "so good it's worth risking your life to have one." Their "Earl Veggie" was a dream come true... packed with lettuce, tomato, onion, olives, feta cheese, and their amazing Mediterranean dressing (I skipped the roasted red peppers and cucumbers)... all served on bread so delicious that you couldn't help but make yummy noises while you ate it.

But then, for reasons I can't even guess, they discontinued the "Earl Veggie" and replaced it with a boring-ass Caprese sandwich.

Fuck.

For a while there, I was able to get back the "Earl Veggie" I loved by paying extra money to get an alteration with added ingredients... "I'll take a Caprese Sandwich. No mozzarella. No basil. No Vinaigrette. Add Feta Cheese, Lettuce, Red Onion, Kalamata Olives, & Mediterranean Dressing." — Sure it sucked that I was paying more for the same sandwich, but it was so delicious I didn't care... no harm, no foul.

But then they stopped making the Mediterranean Dressing.

And now they don't even have onions any more (unless they're grilled). Yes, you read that right, a sandwich shop with no onions.

So tonight when I went over the International Plaza's Bay Street, I made a pitiful attempt to get my sandwich back by ordering a Caprese with NOTHING on it... add lettuce, tomato, olives, feta cheese, and Italian Dressing. This grotesque mockery of a sandwich is what I ended up with...

Despite the staff being eager to please, it was pretty disgusting and barely edible. They forgot the feta, which is the entire point of the sandwich. And instead of a drizzle of Italian Dressing for flavor, they literally flooded my sandwich with the stuff. It soaked into the bread and was dripping out every time I tried to take a bite. There was barely any veggies inside either, with one pathetic leaf of lettuce, a few scattered olives, and three tomato slices.

Sad.

Inexplicably sad.

How the fuck do you go from having the greatest sandwich I've ever tasted in my life to having a barely edible monstrosity that I have to force myself to choke down? The best thing about my meal was the baked potato that came with my sandwich, and it wasn't even hot.

And it's not just the discontinuation of the greatest sandwich I had ever eaten that's the problem, just look how Earl of Sandwich sandwiches have degraded over time...

The bread, once buttery and wonderfully flaky, has become more like a typical crusty sandwich roll. It still tastes great, but it's not the magical experience it once was. And just look at the size! I was more than a little shocked when I opened my sandwich to see how much it has shrunk. I know the photos are all different scales... but compare the logo dots on the wrapper. I'm betting the current sandwich is a good inch shorter and half-inch slimmer than it used to be. Which makes it all the more disappointing that the amount of sandwich toppings has been so grossly reduced. The veggies used to be piled high. Now? There's barely anything to be found on the sandwich I got.

All I can say is that I hope the meat sandwiches are faring much better for the carnivores out there, because the vegetarian options fucking suck. And if you had told me two years ago that I would ever be saying something like that about Earl of Sandwich, I would have slapped you across the face and screamed "LIAR!!!"

I just don't get it. Really I don't.

But oh well. One less thing I have to worry about when I travel.

Dammit.

Now that our local airport has only three flights per day, the odds of connecting with flights out of Seattle are pitifully small. The first flight at 6am is my best shot, but it arrives too early to connect with West Coast flights... and too late to connect with East Coast flights. Either way, it means anywhere from 3 to 5 hours of waiting, which is longer than it takes to drive to Seattle.

Even worse is the return trip. There's a 4:25pm, which is too too late for West Coast returns, and too early for East Coast returns (and since the next/last flight isn't until 11:10pm, there you are with 3 to 5 hours of waiting... again). Since the absolute last thing I want to do when I'm trying to get home is spend hours and hours waiting for my connection at SeaTac, this is not really an option (though I did just that on my recent return from San Francisco).

And so I've been driving over the mountains instead of flying. When there's no snow on the ground, it's just so much easier.

Except when there's rock blasting.

Which was happening today at 6:30pm.

Which meant leaving after work at 5:00pm would have meant sitting on Snoqualmie Pass for two hours while construction crews chip away at a mountain. And so I left work early.

The plan was to use this extra time to catch up on some sleep, because heaven only knows I need some of that.

Except the hotel room above me was blasting the television at full volume and stomping around so hard that the ceiling was shaking... and the hotel room next to mine was having some kind of noisy party until 1:00am.

Which is perfect, considering it's now 1:30am and I'm wide awake... with an alarm set for 3:30am.

If I'm lucky, this means I'll get two hours of sleep.

But I think we all know I'm never that lucky.

Since the electrical outlet on my hotel desk doesn't work, I used the outlet on the far side of my bed. So of course I forgot my phone hanging there this morning again. Again.

Which was especially unfortunate considering I loaded in a Japanese dictionary last night for my 7:00am Saturday breakfast meeting. It's been nearly 20 years since I've spoken the language, so I really needed all the help I could get. But, lucky for me, one of the people I was meeting with spoke excellent English until our translator showed up.

After a much-deserved nap, I had four hours until I had to check in at work again.

A part of me just wanted to hang out in my hotel room since I have been to San Francisco many, many times. But I love me a veggie burger at Johnny Rockets and love me some donuts from Trish's Mini Donuts, so off I went to Fisherman's Wharf, where the sea lions were out making a racket as usual...

Turns out that Fisherman's Wharf on a Labor Day holiday weekend was not the smartest of ideas because the crowds everywhere were massive.

After lunch I was just going to go back to the hotel. But then I thought of Lombard Street for some reason. When I was a kid, I remember our family driving down it once. But everything after that is a blur. I have a photo scanned of it shot on Advantix film, which means I must have been there in the late 90's, but I remember none of it.

And so off I went to Russian Hill to see "The Crookedest Street in the World"...

To my knowledge, I've never actually walked up the hill, so I decided to give it a try. I was glad I did, because the view from the top is pretty great...

And that was that.

Drinks for work followed by a nap followed by dinner followed by blogging.

Next up... sweet surrender to sleep.

I hope.

Bullet Sunday on Friday? YOU DRUNK, BLOGOGRAPHY! GO HOME! Except I was too traumatized from nearly getting ran over this past Sunday to blog, so prepare yourself... because Bullet Sunday starts now...

   
• Dog! I just gotta get this out of the way before I forget... Chicago Veggie Dog? Awesome. Chicago Veggie Dog in San Francisco? Not so much...

Not that is was bad... but, just like bagels outside of New York, it just wasn't the same. Of course, now I want nothing more than to fly to Chicago and get a real Chicago Veggie Dog, which is a tough craving to get out of your head.

   
• Closure! Usually, the drive from San Francisco to Oakland is a breezy 15 minutes over the Bay Bridge. But since the bridge is under construction over Labor Day weekend, getting from one side of the Bay to the other is a bit more of a challenge. Whether you go north over the Golden Gate then on to the Richmond-San Rafael Bridge... or you go south over the San Mateo-Hayward Bridge... you've got an hour drive ahead of you...

But the good news is that BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) is still running. So if you don't mind public transportation, you can park at a station and go by rail. The interesting thing about that is having a lot of people who don't normally ride public transportation riding public transportation. The entertainment value is pretty high, but so is the frustration level. The line to get tickets is long, and people not accustomed to the machines take forever. You have people walking on the wrong train, then then blocking you from entering because they're trying to get turned around and escape after somebody tells them it won't take them where they need to go. It goes on and on. Usually I love BART, but this trip it's been driving me crazy. People need to stay home... or maybe I should have.

And in other news... Google Maps is aware of the Bay Bridge closure, and routes you accordingly. Microsoft Bing Maps, however, is not so smart...

But (and here's the kicker) Apple Maps DOES re-route you...

Which begs the question... how bad does your mapping service have to be in order to be considered a worse option than Apple Maps? And, can I just say, both Google and Bing could learn something from Apple here... map labels are so much more useful WHEN THEY ARE LARGE ENOUGH THAT PEOPLE CAN ACTUALLY READ THEM!

   
• Phoneless! This morning I did the unthinkable... I forgot my iPhone in my room because I was late for work and rushing around without my head attached. After my meeting, a co-worker was kind enough to drop by my hotel so I could grab my phone on the way to running some errands. I was incredibly grateful, because not having my iPhone feels like a part of me is missing. As we were speeding away, I noticed that my battery was at 5%, despite the fact that it had been plugged in all night and I just took it off the charger. So before heading back to work I had to drop by my hotel room AGAIN so I could plug it in AGAIN. Which is when I found out the power outlet on the desk was dead. I don't know why the world was conspiring against me having an iPhone today, but I do not like it. You never realize just how dependent you are on something until it's taken away, and today I found out I don't even know how to EXIST without my iPhone. As I told my co-worker, I had forgotten that before mobile tech happened everybody just kind of stumbled around in the dark banging rocks together to communicate. And it sucks.

   
• Cookies! Saying "I had to stop for fortune cookies" is a totes legit reason for being late to a meeting... amiright?

Sorry... but even more important than visiting my tattoo artist when I'm in San Francisco is stopping by Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Company when I'm in town. I've been doing it on every trip to the Bay Area for nearly two decades, and it simply cannot be missed.

   
• Sports! Jester and I wandered to The Castro after dinner so we could drop in on a goodbye party for Justin. Like most bars in The Castro, it's a gay bar. Unlike most gay bars in the world, it's a sports bar called Hi Tops (home of cold pitchers and hot catchers!). This is not a big deal for me. I ended up in many a gay-bar when the brother of a girl I dated in Portland would invite us out to go bar-hopping with him and his partner. Except... one visit to the Hi Tops Facebook page told me that I had been fairly sheltered in gay bar world, because I ain't seen nothing like this...

Call me old-fashioned, but I just don't think shots should be served with a side of hairy ass.

Fortunately (unfortunately?), guys in jock straps serving free shots only happens on Thursdays, which meant I got to spend a great evening out sans hairy asses. Seeing homo-erectus-erectus (the Common American Gay) in their native habitat is always fun, and Hi Tops ended up being a really nice place with a terrific crowd of friendly people. That being said, this sports bar was a bit... different... from other sports bars. For one thing, the sports being played on the televisions include golf and women's tennis. For another, the music is awesome. One thing is for sure though, any sports bar I end up at from here on out is going to be pretty boring by comparison.

   
• Quotable! And now, for your reading pleasure, the TOP FIVE QUOTES from my night at a gay sports bar...

1. ME: "Most guys would be pretty upset if another guy grabbed their ass. I'm just glad to know I have options."
2. ME: "Could be he's into straight guys, but I'm not even straight-acting."
3. JESTER: (Pointing to two guys making out) "Well that's something you won't see at a regular sports bar." — ME: "You were obviously not in Chicago when the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup."
4. ME: (Looking around at dozens of guys who look like they've stepped out of GQ) "I really need to start dressing better."
5. ME: "I'd say I'm glad that all these incredibly good-looking guys are out of the hetero dating pool... but none of the hot women they'd end up with would give me the time of day anyway."

And... that's a wrap for a completely misnamed Bullet Sunday.

On a trip to New York years ago, I decided to to buy a gift for some people back home as a "thank you" for giving me some hotel discount coupons. Back then I had no money for travel, and their generosity was the difference between staying in a nice hotel... or sleeping in a bus station or some grubby hostel.

Finding the perfect gift was difficult because I didn't know them very well. About all I knew was that they hosted fancy dinner parties, liked great wine, and took pity on their daughter's friend who was foolishly flying to New York with little planning and even less budget.

After a couple days of wandering through souvenir shops in-between visits to the Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty, The World Trade Center, and all the other obvious tourist spots, I was ready to give up. Showing up at their door with an "I ♥ NY" T-shirt or a crappy picture frame would have been worse than showing up with nothing. I figured I would just buy a nice Hallmark thank-you card and that would be the end of it.

Except...

My fancy hotel had a concierge. I had never used one before... but of course I knew what they were for. I watch movies and stuff.

So I sauntered up to the concierge desk and said something like "Hello! I need to buy a hostess gift for a friend. Do you know where I might find something appropriate for a couple who enjoy dinner parties and wine?" The concierge looked at me like I was a grade-A moron and said "Do you have something in mind... like... oh, I don't know... a nice bottle of wine? Turns out that I actually was a grade-A moron, because getting them a bottle of wine had never occurred to me. "Well of course, wine!" I snapped, "I am asking you where I can get it!" Hey, I can be an asshole too, asshole.

And so I was directed to some ridiculously pretentious wine shop.

Where I was told that a cheese and crackers gift basket would be the better gift to travel home with. Which was a nice way of saying "yeah, you can't afford a 'great' bottle of wine in this joint, fella." They had a basket that had been opened because they took something out of it, and the nice lady assisting me offered to re-work it at a discount so nobody would ever know a part was missing. Fifty precious dollars later, I had a nice-looking gift of very expensive cheese with a box of watercress crackers. In a basket. With straw. I took care to keep it cool, and it survived my trip home the following day. I ran it to my friend's parents the next morning. Her mother was thrilled and thanked me profusely for the unexpected cheese windfall. Mission accomplished.

The following week I asked my friend if her parents had a chance to eat the cheese basket I gave them. Turns out they had. I sat waiting for her to beguile me with a magical tale of how the cheese was served with a $500 bottle of wine at an exclusive party attended by movie stars and dignitaries. Instead she told me that they had shredded the stuff and sprinkled it on a casserole or nachos or something.

I must say, I managed to keep my composure quite well.

But how ungrateful! That precious gift of $50 cheese was WASTED! I might as well have given them a box of Ritz crackers and a brick of cheddar! Didn't they know that it was a special cheese that was meant to be savored with a fine wine? I might as well have take a $50 bill and burned it! Of all the nerve!

And then...

The Buddhist philosophies I had been studying started to surface.

I gave them the gift freely. They accepted it with gratitude after doing me a favor. They liked it. They were happy I had been so thoughtful. Who am I to tell them how to enjoy their cheese? So they shredded it on a casserole... good for them! I'll bet it was the best damn casserole they had ever eaten! How nice that I got to be a part of such an amazing dining experience!

Discovering that you don't have to be angry all the time... and realizing that what other people choose to do with their cheese is their business... it's a liberating thing.

Which brings me to yesterday when I was told that "tattoos are disrespectful to the bodies that God has given us" and I was so close to saying "Then don't get a fucking tattoo, bitch!" but actually ended up saying "Why do you care what I do with my cheese?" which was confusing to everybody involved, so I shrugged my shoulders and walked away.

But not before I noticed she had pierced ears and color highlights in her hair.

And so the wildfire-fueled smoke continues.

My throat is raw from coughing and my eyes are in a perpetual state of being glazed over. People probably think I've been taking advantage of Washington State's legalization of marijuana when they see me, but it's nothing nearly as fun as that.

Oh well. One of the perils of living in the tinderbox known as Central Washington.

And, speaking of where I live, Kapgar posted these questions...

1. Where are you from? I was born in San Diego, California at Doctor's Hospital... which sounds like an awesome place for a soap opera. My family moved to Central Washington before I started school, and I've lived here ever since.
2. What is the furthest you have lived from friends and family? My family in Southern California is the furthest away. I have friends all over the world, so "very far" there.
3. How close do you live to your parents or siblings? The furthest away I have immediate family now is 15-20 minutes.
4. How many states have you visited? How many have you lived in? I've lived in two (California, Washington)... and have visited all of them except Nebraska, North Dakota, and South Dakota. The last new state I visited was Kansas back in 2010...
   

   

5. How many countries have you visited? Lived in? I've lived in one (the USA) and have visited 47...
   • Aruba (Oranjestad, Palm Beach)
   • Australia (Sydney, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Uluru/Ayers Rock, Cairns)
   • Austria (just a drive in-and-out)
   • The Bahamas
   • Belgium (Brussels)
   • Canada (Vancouver, Victoria, Penticton, Ottawa, Toronto, Niagara Falls, Montreal)
   • Cayman Islands (George Town, Hell)
   • China (Hong Kong, Shanghai, Beijing)
   • Columbia (Cartagena)
   • Costa Rica (Limón)
   • Czech Republic (Prague, Karlštejn)
   • Denmark (Copenhagen)
   • Egypt (Cairo)
   • Estonia (Tallinn)
   • Fiji
   • Finland (Helsinki)
   • France (Paris, Éze, Villefranche, Ajaccio, Corte)
   • Germany (Cologne, Hamburg, Munich, Berlin)
   • Greece (Athens, Olympia, Corfu, Crete, Mykonos, Santorini)
   • Iceland (Reykjavik)
   • Indonesia (Bali)
   • Ireland (Dublin, Wicklow, Newgrange)
   • Italy (Rome, Florence, Pisa, Venice, Naples, Amalfi, Sorrento, Positano, Ravello, Santa Margherita Ligure, Portofino)
   • Jamaica (Ocho Rios, Dunn's Falls)
   • Japan (Tokyo, Yokohama, Fujikawa, Kobe, Nagoya, Osaka, Fukuoka)
   • Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
   • Malta (Valletta, Mdina, San Ġiljan)
   • Mexico (Tijuana, Cozumel, Tulum)
   • Monaco (Monaco-Monte Carlo)
   • Netherlands (Amsterdam, Delft, Den Haag, Alkmaar, Maastricht)
   • Netherlands Antilles (Sint Maarten)
   • Norway (Oslo)
   • Panama (Colón, Gamboa, Panama Canal)
   • Poland (Warsaw)
   • Portugal (Lisbon)
   • Romania (Bucharest, Braşov)
   • Singapore (Singapore)
   • South Korea (Seoul)
   • Spain (Barcelona, Madrid, Málaga, Mallorca)
   • Sweden (Stockholm, Gothenburg)
   • Thailand (Bangkok, Phuket, Chiang Mai)
   • Turkey (Ephesus, Istanbul)
   • Tunisia (Tunis, Carthage, Sidi Bou Saïd)
   • United Kingdom (London, Edinburgh, Letchworth GC, Bristol, Cardiff, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds, York, Nottingham, Belfast)
   • United States (All of them except the three listed below)
   • Vatican City (The Vatican)
   • Virgin Islands (St. Thomas: Charlotte Amalie, Megans Bay)
   By the end of the year, I'll have visited 50 countries.

6. Where do you want to live next? That's a really tough question to answer. Right now, I don't see leaving Central Washington any time soon. But... I have contemplated living a lot of different places. I would really like to try living in a big city at some point in my life.
7. Bonus: What country would you retire to if America isn't an option? Edinburgh, Scotland.

And now, back to my regularly-scheduled work-night.

Everybody place your bets... because Bullet Sunday starts now...

   
• Welcome! What always fascinates me about Las Vegas, Nevada is this: What people think of when they think of Las Vegas is not actually Las Vegas at all. Unless you are thinking of "Old Las Vegas" and Fairmont Street... or perhaps The Stratosphere Hotel and Casino... both of which actually are in Las Vegas. But most everything else... including all the big popular casino hotels on "The Strip" south of Sahara Avenue, are actually in Paradise, Nevada (unincorporated). Indeed, even McCarran International Airport is not in Las Vegas, despite what the sign says when you arrive there...

But I suppose it's easier to just lump everything together under the name "Las Vegas" that everybody knows... which, apparently, is what the US Postal Service does anyway.

   
• Service! One of the worst things about visiting "Las Vegas" if you are an AT&T mobile customer is that your cellular service is for shit. Even if you turn off LTE...

Actually, it's worse than shit, because a lot of the time there's no service at all. And I'm not talking about when you're buried in a casino somewhere... I'm talking about when you're walking around outside...

It has been like this for as long as I've been with AT&T and visiting Las Vegas. Even when you can start a call, odds are it will drop off before you can complete it. And I just don't get it. Yes, I'm sure putting up cellular towers is no easy process with the regulations and permits and all that... but this has been going on for years. Is AT&T EVER going to get their shit together in this city?

   
• Goo! If ever there was a reminder of why I won't be visiting porn theaters in this lifetime, this would be it...

A Goo Gone bottle, almost empty, with "Theater" written across it? Sign me up.

   
• Venice! Las Vegas is much like Walt Disney World's EPCOT in that they try to recreate exotic locations from around the world so Americans not wanting to leave the country can leave the country.

But not really.

The truth is that you can't visit Venice without actually visiting Venice. Try as they might, these fabrications can't even give you a taste of what the real thing is like. And yet, not everybody is lucky enough to be able to fly off to Venice, so this is as close as they're going to get. And, in that respect, I suppose something is better than nothing...

Could be better than the real St. Mark's Square... which is always covered in scaffolding and pigeons.

Gondola rides in Vegas are much, much, much cheaper than in Venice.

What's a visit to Italy without some stracciatella gelato?

My hope is that anybody intrigued by fake Venice or fake Paris or fake Oslo or fake anywhere would want to save their pennies to visit the real thing. But there's usually no slot machines filling every available bit of floor space, so maybe that's asking too much.

   
• &! Something I have always wanted to do on my many trips to Las Vegas was to see Penn & Teller's show at the Rio. Thanks to a kind act of generosity, I finally managed it this trip...

It was absolutely great. I wish there was a little more magic and a little less politics... but I guess that wouldn't be Penn & Teller, would it? Still... worth seeing if you're in the neighborhood.

   
Back to reality...

And...

I've finally attended a Vegas wedding officiated by Elvis.

I have to admit, I was really surprised at how well done it was. Just the right amounts of tacky and sweet... and about as memorable of a wedding as you could hope for. It didn't hurt that there was a very memorable couple getting hitched...

Congratulations Cher & Nis... thanks so much for letting me be a part of your special day!

I am not much of a gambler.

Not because I am particularly unlucky, because I'm not (even though I don't much believe in luck)... but because the paranoia of losing my hard-earned money just kind of sucks all the fun out of it.

But it wouldn't be a trip to Vegas without a little gambling, so I slid $20 in a slot machine... lost everything but $4, then somehow ended up $136.43 ahead...

And there's my gambling money for the trip.

Yes, I'm a total player that way.

But at least I won't be whoring myself on The Strip to earn cash because I lost all my money playing roulette.

No... if I'm going to whore myself on The Strip, it's going to be because I enjoy it, dammit!