When I had big fun at my colonoscopy five years ago, I was disappointed that I'd have to wait ten years for another one.
Oh... I'm totally lying. The procedure itself wasn't terrible at all... it's the prep for the colonoscopy which is absolute agony. You essentially have to completely clean out your bowels over four days of special low-fiber diet followed by liquid diet and something which reams your colon out by causing constant diarrhea. I made the HUGE mistake of scheduling my previous colonoscopy the day after Halloween, which meant I was passing out candy in-between sitting on the toilet.
Then I found out that since I had "pre-cancerous polyps" removed from my last colonoscopy, my doctor wanted me to have another one after only five years. And today was the day.
Except I actually had two things I needed to have done, which gave me a choice... have the colonoscopy with light sedation today, then come in on Friday... OR have the colonoscopy with NO SEDATION today, and have my other stuff done after. Since the worst part of the colonoscopy (the prep) would have to be done either way, I decided to get everything out of the way in one go instead of having to take an extra day off work.
The prep was, as I remembered, horrendous.
The colonoscopy with zero sedation? Not as horrific as you might imagine. Though just about any experience after colonoscopy prep is going to seem like a walk in the park.
There is some discomfort as the doctor drives the scope around your innards... and it hurt a bit when he was going around a corner of my colon... but I have to say that it was fascinating being fully conscious and watching it unfold in real-time on a TV screen while I was chatting with the doctor. I think it was fun for him too, as I am incredibly funny and charming and he had a much better time than if I were fading in and out of consciousness. We talked about all kinds of things... like how fantastic my prep was because there were no seeds or fiber in my colon... and what he was doing and looking at with each step of the procedure. It was... despite minor pain... a great experience.
PLUS I was able to stroll right out of the recovery ward. After putting my clothes on of course.
I then walked over to have my labs done and go my second appointment (which was not nearly as much fun). If I didn't have the second procedure, I could have just drove home. No waiting. No bothering a family member or friend to drive me.
And so... yeah... next time I have to have a colonoscopy, I am going to skip the sedation again. I don't know that it's for everybody (especially if your pain tolerance is low) but the benefits are just too good to ignore.
The great news is that my colon was clean as a whistle. No polyps (pre-cancerous, cancerous, or otherwise).
No idea if I have to get another colonoscopy in five years or ten years. Hopefully I will have forgotten most of the prep ordeal by then, because right now the memory is fresh and I never want to go through it again.
Regretfully I did not think to write a Bullet Sunday entry before I started my colonoscopy prep.
Needless to say, there won't be a Bullet Sunday post, because I am not blogging from the toilet. See you next Sunday.
Having nothing you can say about something when there are plenty of things you could say is pretty much my idea of hell. But keeping the peace over being mired in drama is my idea of paradise. And so... looks like I'll be holding my tongue. Again.
Decades ago when I had work in Seattle, I'd go out with colleagues afterwards and we'd hit up all the wrong spots in town. None of us had money for the right spots, so it was what it was.
One night as we were leaving some dive bar after all our spare change was gone, we ran into a fight. Two women were very drunk, very angry, and very intent on hurting each other. Problem was that they were too drunk to really do much damage to each other, and were mostly clawing at each other without actually connecting. As we were deciding what we might do, a guy standing in a doorway informed us that he had already called the police, and he was keeping an eye on them in case things escalated.
I was reminded of this today when I saw a woman screaming at another woman in the parking lot as she was driving away. Sure neither of them were drunk, but they were actually doing a heck of a lot more damage verbally than the women "fighting" outside of a Seattle dive bar. From what I can tell, there was a disagreement over a recipe.
A recipe.
I think? Apparently they both laid claim to it and that was a point of debate.
Given how they were screaming, I sure hope it was a recipe for Coca-Cola. Or Famous Amos cookies. Or something good like that.
Because I think we'd all be disappointed if it was for Snickerdoodles.
There hasn't been any new snow... but my street has a bit of snow on it, which means it can be tricky to drive on. I know to keep it slow and steady, but some people do not. When I got home from work tonight there was a car gunning it and getting nowhere. I was more than a little worried that their tires would grip a random chunk of pavement and they would launch towards me.
But it didn't happen, I managed to slip past into my garage while they were still grinding away.
When I went to my window, they had managed to skid another half-dozen yards... but were still flooring it in an attempt to get anywhere. A part of me wanted to run out with some kitty litter and say "Hey, let me thrown some of this down so you can get started, then drive slow and steady and you'll get out of here." But they had seen me driving my smaller, lighter car without issue and learned nothing, so I figured it was probably a lost cause and I would end up getting shot or something.
Ten minutes later I checked again and they were gone.
No idea if they changed tactics or just lucked their way into a part of the road that they could drive on.
I'm just glad that I didn't have to use up any of my kitty litter. Stuff is expensive.
It's surprising how many people ask me "Do you miss traveling? You used to travel all the time and now you don't! I guess when you do something a lot, that kinda becomes entwined with your identity. Sometime that defines you to others and, to some extent, to yourself.
The truth is that I did miss it very much at first... for about six months after my non-stop travel ended. I had become so accustomed to it that it seemed normal, and not traveling seemed like things in my life were not normal. It was like I didn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't flying off to Honolulu for a couple days to present at a conference... then flying to San Francisco for an overnighter to see that paperwork was handled... then flying to Vegas for a few days for one reason or another. I was gone for 1/3 of the year, now I'm home 99% of the time.
And yet... two years later now... I am quite happy to stay at home.
Sure there are some places in the world I'd still love to visit, but the drive to actually go there has subsided. Now the idea of spending hours upon hours in airports and in planes just doesn't appeal to me. At all. Maybe once COVID has finally been eradicated I'll join up with another charity to keep fighting the good fight and start traveling again, but the longer I'm going nowhere the more I doubt it.
Maybe it'll just be a vacation here and there.
Though I don't mind saying... the idea of a staycation where I'm just building stuff in my garage woodshop sounds like it would be the best vacation ever.
For decades I've saved my money all year long so that I can shop Black Friday sales for all the stuff I need and want at a discounted price. Usually clothing.
That hasn't been the case this year.
In trying to get my home repaired, every cent I have has to go towards plumbers, electricians, and contractors and such. And they ain't cheap.
But it is nice not having a hole in my kitchen ceiling... even if other ceilings and walls are still torn up.
That's a story for another tax refund.
I've never understood the love of eating dead turkey... even when I ate dead turkey. It's dry and pasty and smells weird. The only way to make it edible is to smother it with gravy or cranberry sauce or both.
Still, I'd imagine it's tastier than live turkey.
When it comes to being thankful on this Day of Thanksgiving, I suppose my list is longer than most. Me and my cats are relatively healthy, have a place to live, have food to eat, and nobody is wanting to eat us...
IF ONLY I COULD BE THANKFUL FOR SOMEBODY GIVING ME A MILLION DOLLARS!
hint hint
Today I'm driving over the mountains. A prospect that looks a lot better than it did yesterday when the snow was dumping down.
Not that I'm worried about the driving, mind you. I've been driving in the snow forever. No, I'm worried about the sheer number of idiots on the road who either drive too fast for conditions or don't pay close enough attention while operating a motor vehicle.
Which is most people, alas.
It always seems weird that some people want to risk getting seriously hurt or dead... or causing others to get seriously hurt or dead... by not slowing down and paying attention.
I guess it's all worth it if you can text grandma that you're driving balls-to-the-walls so you can be there in time for cocktails.