I'm steeped in sadness with a broken heart today, but writing my way through it... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

Except it can't just yet.

This blog has been a blessing in so many ways, but the long-term friendships I've gotten from it have been a part of the bedrock upon which my life has been built. Bricks carved from stones that never falter, carrying the load from those which cracked and crumbled to dust. — Regardless of time. Regardless or distance. Regardless of consequence.

One of the biggest rocks in my life was Aaron, whom I first met as Jester from his JesterTunes blog. He was a key member of the "West Coast Blog Mafia" of which I was lucky enough to be a part back in the day.

We became good friends from the start.

And now he's gone.

Of all the people I know, he was the most unapologetically himself at all times, and it was something I couldn't help but admire. I was drawn to him... as most people were who met him. He was a magnet with a big musical talent and an even bigger heart. If you were lucky enough to know him, he made your life better just by being there.

Which is why I'm crushed that he isn't any more.

Except he is.

Because I have so many memories of him which will live on as long as I do. Here is a small sampling of some of my favorites, complete with a link.

At least those I can post publicly!

   
• Tattoo Me! I had wanted a tattoo for 26 years by the time I finally got my first one. Aaron was there to document it...

He was also consulted on my other tattoos. He saved me from a goof in the art I drew up for one of my favorites. This was also the tattoo where I told him that I was hesitant to get it inked because of what other people might think about my cartoony choices. He immediately shot back with "If you're going to care about what other people think, maybe you shouldn't get it then. But you should work on not giving a fuck about what other people think." A life lesson to live by. Then I got the tattoo. Mostly because I wanted it. But also to remind me that life is too short to give a fuck about what other people think.

   
• Thank You For The Music! Aaron lived and breathed music. He was a great singer, and I was lucky to see him perform from time to time...

Jester as Ace Fontana as Ace Frehley — ©2016 by Tananarive Aubert Photography

His greatest gift to me will always be the music he shared which he thought I might like. And I always liked it. He was forever sending me a new artist or song to listen to. And most of it has found its way into my playlists. Yesterday, after I was able to drive again after getting the news, the next song to play was Hey Jane by Low Millions. A group I never would have found if not for Aaron...

I couldn't possibly put into words what a musical influence Aaron was on me. For better or worse. Once he sent me a video by Scissor Sisters, a band I didn't really know. I think I had probably heard a few of their songs, but hadn't really took a dive into the band. Aaron was appalled... "You don't know who Scissor Sisters are?!? You need to fix that." And so I did. And after I made my way through Magic Hour, I texted him that I couldn't wait to hear what they do next. He shot back with "Oh. The band broke up." And I was all "WHY WOULD YOU GET ME HOOKED ON A BAND THAT BROKE UP?!? Last Winter he let me know that I could stop hating him because the band was going on tour, and it might lead to new music.

   
• 1975 Live! Despite the fact that he was living in San Francisco and I was in Central Washington, we managed to get together for a number of concerts. He'd text or call that an act was playing and I'd Venmo the cash for my ticket and fly down to see it. From Walk the Moon to Wrabel to Betty Who, it was a guaranteed fun time seeing a show with Jester. And then there's that time we saw The 1975 live on December 17th, 2015... one of my all-tie favorite bands which, naturally, Aaron discovered for me...

It ended up being one of the best concerts I've ever been to and one of the best experiences I've ever had. And it never would have happened without him.

   
• JesterRolling! Back in the heydey of the blogging trend, one of the things that bloggers did was have a radio show on BlogTalkRadio. Given his phenomenally entertaining personality, Jester's was that one show you could not miss. You tuned in because you had no idea what the heck was going to happen. And one of the best things to happen was "JesterRolling" where Aaron would find some show with no listeners, give everybody the address, then we would all jump over to participate in the show. It was absolute madness. Sometimes it would be heartwarming, where a host would be genuinely touched that all of a sudden 30 people were listening to what they had to say. Sometimes it would be bedlam, where the host was a monumental asshole spouting hate or otherwise being awful. Something Jester never tolerated in real life... and was not afraid to confront on the internet. It was glorious.

I was a guest or caller on the show several times. I had taken one of those stupid internet quizzes where you answer questions and it tells you how gay you are. Turns out I'm 20% gay. Which means I could promote my appearance on the show in interesting ways. Like saying "When you combine my 20% gay fierceness with Jester's 100% gay fierceness, that's 120% gay fierceness all in one radio show, which just might exceed the BlogTalk Radio standards for overall gay fierceness!"

A part of me is sad that BlogTalkRadio shut down in January. It would be fun to listen to some of those old shows again. And yet... a part of me is probably glad that it has shut down, because oh boy.

   
• "Most guys would be pretty upset if another guy grabbed their ass. I'm just glad to know I have options!" Even though I was only 20% gay and probably not qualified to intrude on those spaces... having gay friends means I end up in a lot of gay places. But only with Aaron did it end up being educational. There's few things Jester loved more than regaling me with the more, ahem, "interesting" aspects of gay life and gay culture. Probably to get my reaction, which was usually a mixture of shock and awe. Even though the absolute last thing anybody should be when hanging out with him is shocked. Once we went to a good bye party for a mutual blogging friend at a gay bar in The Castro called "Hi Tops" (home of cold pitchers and hot catchers!). We were talking at the bar while waiting on our drinks when I suddenly said "Oh!" mid-sentence because one of the waiters grabbed my ass as he rounded the end of the bar. Jester thought this was hilarious, and reminded me of it. Often. Once he took me to a gay bar down the street from a restaurant where we were early for our reservation. After we ordered, he told the waiter "Feel free to grab his ass when you come back. He's straight, but he likes it." He was forever doing things like that. One of the times we met up in Vegas, we were in a shopping plaza on an escalator where he started rubbing my back and saying loudly all the things he wanted to do to me when we got back to the hotel room. I don't know if he was trying to embarrass me or shock the people around us. It could have been both. It was probably both. Oh come on, this is Jester we're talking about... it was definitely both.

   
• If you come to San Francisco! I couldn't count the number of times I ended up hanging with Aaron in The City By The Bay. I often had work there, and Aaron lived in nearby Oakland. Most times, it was dinner or drinks (more likely, both) but we also did a lot of other things there too. Like visit The Walt Disney Family Museum...

Or driving north to Marin so we could visit Point Reyes and pick out a pumpkin for his Halloween decorating...

Most of the time, we would meet up in San Francisco. But we actually met in a lot of places. We met in Las Vegas for Certified Princess Cher & her husband Nis's second wedding...

We met in San Diego for the DaveDiego meet-up...

Then in San Diego again for his 40th birthday party...

And we even met in Seattle for a concert once.

   
• i/o! The last time I saw Jester in person was when he flew to Seattle with his partner Henry and his brother Seth to take me to the Peter Gabriel i/o tour two years ago...

I would chat with Aaron after that night, of course. But I didn't know it would be the last time I'd see him. If I did, I would have done more than just hug him goodbye. I would have told him how much he has meant to me all these many years. I would have thanked him for the multitude of memories he's responsible for which have brought such joy to my life. I would have told him that I loved him and my life would be poorer if he weren't in it. I would have said so many things that you can only say to somebody who really means something to you.

Instead I just have to hope that he knew what he meant to me.

Aaron was loved by so many people. And being his friend put you in a far from an exclusive club because he has so many of them. But he had a way of making you feel like you were his only friend on this earth. I will miss that about him. I will miss my friend more than I can say.

I put this post in a Bullet Sunday entry because I met Aaron through blogging and it seemed the most Blogography way to talk about him. The problem being that there's just so much I could say that these bullets could have gone on for pages and pages. But eventually the bullet points have to end, just like they always do.

Eventually, you have to say goodbye, even though you really don't want to.