I'm experiencing a tea renaissance. Last night I had some amazing Winter Chai and I'm still thinking about it this morning. I stopped drinking tea for the longest time, but took it up again when I was served some amazing native tea in Laos back in 2013. After a couple years I started favoring sodas, but now I'm drifting back into tea-land again. Figured I might as well since the tea I ordered for my 2020 guests in January (that wouldn't end up coming thanks to the pandemic) will have to be replaced soon anyway... even though I froze it to keep it fresh like you're supposed to.

Winter Chai Blend from Tea Forté, whose pricey teas I love.

Oh well.

I have a free pizza to thank for my renewed interest in drinking tea.

Last week I went out for groceries and got yet another free pizza. Safeway/Albertsons is forever giving away free pizzas with purchase of something else. And since the "something else" is usually something I'm buying anyway, I always grab one. I don't like frozen pizza, but I'm not going to pass up on free food. This was my fourth free cheese pizza and I had to make room in the freezer by tossing out some old stuff I shouldn't have been saving in the first place... and drinking my tea stash. From there I moved on to cleaning out the refrigerator and found a full carton of eggs hidden behind the fresh carton I just bought. I don't even remember having bought them. I don't shy away from expired foods, but eggs that are a month past their "Best Before" date are probably a gamble I shouldn't be taking, so down the garbage disposal they went.

Last night I had one of those free cheese pizzas for dinner. It was the last thing I wanted to eat, but I didn't have room for my next freebie so I thought I should whittle down my pile. My attitude ended up being "Sure I don't want it, but does it even really matter?"

And it's at that point I realize I've been saying that to myself a LOT recently...

"Does it even really matter?"

• When I made a sawdust pile on my garage floor last week and keep telling myself I should clean it up... but realized I'm the only one who will ever see it and left it there.
• When I kept putting off giving myself a haircut because I always end up making a mess of my head... but realized nobody will see it to care, so I pulled out the clippers.
• When I saw my appointment to get my Global Entry Card renewed... but realized I'm not going anywhere any time soon and rescheduled for next March.
• When I started trying to eat a bit healthier this past month... but realized that I could get COVID any minute now because people are selfish assholes, so I bought a box of jelly donuts.
• When I got a supplies list together so I can finally tile my kitchen backsplash... but realized I won't be having guests any time soon and stuck it in a drawer.
• When I made a list of new clothes to buy on Black Friday... but realized that I'm not going anywhere any time soon to care about new clothes, then threw it in the trash.
• When I pulled up my work To-Dos I made so I could take off on Wednesday for Thanksgiving... but realized that I don't get a Thanksgiving this year and ignored it.
• When I look at my chores list that's getting way too long... but realized that the entire world is on hold, so why should this list be any different, and took a pass.

Because, seriously, does any of that really matter? No. Not really. Dishes left in the sink. Cleaning that needs to be done. Projects that are lingering. Things I need to stay on top of. It just doesn't matter. Life is just a self-isolating blur of tedium sameness, and I'm mired in it like quicksand.

About the only thing that matters are my cats. Where I'm happy to just let things go in my life, I refuse to let anything go in theirs. I still steam clean their feeding station. I still wash their food dishes and water fountain. I still clean their beds. I still collect their toys. I still play with them. I still drop everything when they want attention. I still do everything I can to make sure they're cared for.

Just like after my mom died, I probably owe it to Jake and Jenny that I find the willpower to keep going day after day. Mostly because they are about the only thing I've going for me right now. But partly because I don't want to keel over and die and have them eat me.

Though with all these exotic teas I've been drinking lately, I'll bet I'm delicious.