You know how you think that your pet has outgrown some undesirable behavior... only to find out that they absolutely have not after all?

If you had asked me yesterday if Jenny had outgrown tormenting her brother, I would have said "yes."

Jake brought Mufasa downstairs. Then had breakfast. Then went to sleep. JENNY CAME DOWN AND GRABBED MUFASA. So I followed her, calling her name. When I got to the top of the stairs I saw this...

Clearly she dropped him and is now pretending that she has no idea how he got there. He just happened to be where she sat down.

Clearly.

At which point I'm pretty much obligated to take Mufasa downstairs and give him to Jake, or else this will be greeting me when Jake figures out that his favorite toy is missing...

Cats. What can you do?

"Yeah, buddy, tear that shit up!" — Me, any time my cats are scratching on a scratching post.

I hit the cat lottery jackpot because my cats don't scratch anywhere they're not supposed to. They also don't rip my stuff apart. Nor do they knock things off of tables or shelves (except that exceedingly rare occasion when genetics take over and they have to). I guess what I'm trying to say is that they're just exceedingly well-behaved in all respects.

Last night I started sorting all the hundreds (thousands?) of Polaroid Mini photos I've been collecting since I started playing with the format in 2000. I was only 1/3 of the way through the big box of pictures, so I left out my sort piles and didn't think twice about it. Jake and Jenny both hopped up and sniffed at what was going, but immediately lost interest and left everything alone.

This morning everything was exactly as I left it...

I wonder how many cat owners would wake up to a total disaster?

The cats are mad at me because I had workers here this week, and I can't say that I blame them. I'm mad that I had to have them here too. I hired a contractor who fucked up, so now I'm having to pay to have things un-fucked up, and it's been a long, slow, expensive process.

That's ongoing.

But don't tell Jake and Jenny that. And speaking of...

Jake follows me around the house and chirps at me when he's mad. And then he hovers...

Fortunately, all I have to say is "Do you want a treat? Is it treat time?" and he forgets about being mad...

Jenny hangs around to be petted, but resents me for it...

Which is better than yesterday when she wouldn't even look at me...

Next week I am hoping that I can get a plumber here to finish up my bathroom so I can be done with it and start saving money to have the downstairs repaired.

And then? I really, really hope that I am done with home repairs for a little while.

My house is a shambles. I've been working long hours and cleaning up hasn't been in the cards.

Today I finally had time to attempt to tackle the mess I live in.

It hasn't been going well, and it's all Jake and Jenny's fault.

The first thing I wanted to do was clean out my kitchen. I scrubbed the countertops and the sink, steam cleaned the floors, then tried to re-organize my cupboards. Starting with all the shopping bags that I keep to use as garbage bags. The problem is that I don't produce a lot of garbage, so the bags keep piling up. It really makes me wish that the grocery store would have a bag rental that allows you to have deliveries made in bags you rent, then you can trade the bags bag when you place your next order. Because I'm never going to re-use the number of bags I get.

To better organize the cupboard I toss them into, I threw them all out on the floor. It took all of ten seconds before the cats were digging into them. Not wanting to interrupt their fun, I figured that I'd just wait until they were done playing. Jake left after about 20 minutes. But Jenny?

No chance. After a half hour, she's still there...

45 minutes maybe?

And now an hour...

She's still throwing them all over the kitchen. So I decided to give up on waiting and return to my laundry because I've got dirty clothes piled in the hallway.

Except...

Guess I'm not cleaning up after all. And it's all my cats' fault.

Sleeping. It's what cats do for 75% of their lives. Probably more.

And believe me, I am completely jealous. I'd be thrilled if I could manage to sleep even 30% of my life. Heck, some nights (as in every night this week, where I've been battling a runny nose) I'd be thrilled to get even 20%. Last night I got around 3-1/2 hours.

Their favorite place to sleep is on my bed with me. Jake will sometimes sleep all night there. Jenny bails the minute I turn my light off...

Jenny used to not want to be on the bed when Jake was there, but lately has been more proactive. Even going sofar as to plop her ass down next to him and smack him with her tail until he leaves...

But that's okay. When Jake and Jenny were kittens, they loved these cheap kitty beds that I got from Petco, so I bought a bunch of them. Eventually Jake was too big to fit, so I tossed all but a couple because the beds have their scent on them and I figured if I ever got another kitten, it would be a great way to get it used to their smell. Plus Jenny still sleeps in them sometimes. — Recently I noticed that Jake, after losing weight, fits again. Now it's his favorite place to sleep when he's not with me...

I wish he'd sleep at the end of the couch more often. because it's nice to have warm toes..

Jenny has a sour little face that I just love for her. And watching her sleep gives me a clue as to how that works. The fur camouflages her mouth a bit, so you can't see it turn up easily like with most cats. But she also has an underbite sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. Especially when she sleeps. I think when she does have her chin out, it makes her look a little more disgruntled...

Not that I care. She may have a sour look on her face sometimes, but she remains a sweet (albeit demanding) cat.

And so Jake has started doing something new, and I don't understand it at all.

He will take a massive bite of wet food. Drop it on the floor next to him. Then eat smaller bites from there. Which is all kinds of concerning. There's no foot traffic in front of the cat feeding station, so I'm not worried about dirt... but I am very worried about germ buildup. And so I've been washing the floor down in-between my weekly steam cleaning.

No idea why cats suddenly develop bizarre and inexplicable behavior. But I guess they wouldn't be cats if they didn't.

And now there's the warming pads I put out in winter so Jake and Jenny can be comfortable without my having to pay a massive heating bill. They are on them a lot. Jenny takes the pad next to me on the couch. Jake takes the pad on the loveseat.

But now they are switching things up for some reason.

Jenny will be on her warming pad, then Jake will hop up and smack her because he wants it.

On Thursday I was working away on the couch when Jake jumped on the armrest so he could smack Jenny out of her place.

"JAAAAAAKE... don't do it. Your sister got there first. Go sit on the other warming pad. JAAAAAAKE... nooo... nooooooo"

At which point he withdraws his paw and sits on the arm of the couch as if that's what he was going to do all along. I assure you it was not...

If I don't notice what Jake is doing, bedlam and much running around the house ensues.

My cats are not enjoying the cold weather... at all.

I saw Jake headed toward the catio and dropped everything so I could time how long he actually stayed out in these below-freezing temperatures. The answer is zero minutes. He got his head out the door flap and recoiled in horror. Jenny, who isn't one for playing these games, won't even go near the windows. She instead finds the warmest place in the house and sets up camp. Which I don't understand at all, because cats have a fur coat that must make them feel like 100°rees; even when it's cold...

Which now happens to be next to me on their electric blanket.

Stay warm out there.

Jenny has to become the most impatient cat I know. It USED to be that she would jump up on the bed or the couch and wait for me to finish a sentence I am typing or whatever... then allow me to pet her. But NOW? She is meowing for attention as she is jumping up. Sometimes she meows before I even see her.

Jake can't really meow, so he just climbs up on me when he wants attention. But he at least has the decency to give me a minute if I'm in the middle of something.

And speaking of decency...

Lately I am lucky if I get 1/4 to 1/3 of the bed. Just look at this shit!

And that there is where they are feeling generous! Friday night I woke up because JENNY WAS KICKING ME OVER!! I was dazed and sleepy and very nearly fell off the bed! I think I had a grand total of 12 inches of bed to sleep in. And then she hopped off the bed and went downstairs. So... essentially she kicked me awake just to let me know she was leaving?

Monsters.

My cats are monsters.

Welcome to Caturday, which is on Friday because I will be away from my cats tomorrow as I make a Christmas pilgrimage to the coast.

And believe you me... my cats know what's going on.

Don't ask me how, because even if I pack my suitcase in secret, they somehow figure it out anyway. My solution now-a-days is to pack days before I leave so that they have time to calm down before I go. Because leaving while they're keyed up is not a pleasant situation for any of us.

As it was, they were mostly normal tonight...

Tomorrow I will try and slip out as quietly as possible. Just like I do when I go to work.

My cats are feral rescues.

Despite all my best efforts and all the visitors that have been to my home, they still cower from strangers. And everybody but me are considered strangers. Sometimes, if there's not a lot of noise, they will venture downstairs and eventually say hello to an unknown person. But that's rare. Most times it will never happen.

And you can just forget about holding them, carrying them, or trying to get them to actually do just about anything at all.

Which is why I see videos like this and am just dumbfounded...

That would never, ever happen with Jake and Jenny.

First of all, you couldn't pick them up to put them in those chairs. Second of all, they would bail out of those chairs immediately if you were to actually get them in them. Third of all, the idea that they would in any way look like they are paying attention to anything happening that's being done by humans.

Sooooo... sorry. No funny cat videos from me.