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Bullet Sunday 233

Posted on Sunday, May 22nd, 2011

Dave!ZOMG! IT'S BULLET SUNDAY!

   
• Stars. I swear, if there is a single thing in this world you can count on outside of death and taxes, it's that any time Justin Timberlake hosts Saturday Night Live you're in for one hell of a show. The May 21st season finale was no exception. Not surprisingly, I haven't laughed this much at an SNL episode since the last time he hosted. What was surprising is that musical guest Lady Gaga made a couple very funny appearances throughout the show. I may not be the biggest fan of her music, but she killed it last night in the sketches. As if that weren't enough, we got another The Barry Gibb Talk Show installment too...

SNL Timberlake Finale
Your eyes do not deceive you... that's Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clarkson
making cameos on the funniest SNL Digital Short
since Dick in a Box!

Can I just say that I long for the day that the real Barry and Robin Gibb make an appearance on The Barry Gibb Talk Show? I think the universe would probably explode from so much awesomeness.

   
• Dogs. As I was spending my entire paycheck on a bag of groceries last week, I noticed that MorningStar Farms Veggie Corn Dogs were back. I used to love them, but they were recalled and discontinued a couple years back because of of a heinous contamination at the manufacturing facility. Apparently that's (hopefully) been all sorted out, because I've discovered a new magical formula...

Morning Star Farms Corn Dogs PLUS Grey Poupon Creamy Mild Mustard EQUALS Orgasm

Is there anything that Grey Poupon Mild & Creamy Mustard doesn't taste good on?

   
• Bears. One of the single coolest people on earth would have to be Bear Grylls. The guy has racked up so many amazing feats that he makes ordinary men look like hamsters by comparison. It all started when he was the youngest person to climb Mount Everest at age 23. Since then he's continued to make awesome expeditions, and even went on to become a best-selling author and (somewhat controversial) television star...

Bear Grylls in an Ice Cave!

And yet, this morning as I was watching television, I heard something which puts all of Bear Gryll's astounding adventures to shame. His ultimate feat of coolness has to be naming his three kids Jesse, Marmaduke and Huckleberry...

Bear Grylls and Marmaduke
"Holy shit, dude! My name is MARMADUKE!"   (Photo by Rob Loud - Getty Images)

I don't know how to feel about Jesse. On one hand, he side-stepped a landmine by not being saddled with a name like Marmaduke or Huckleberry. On the other hand, he doesn't have a kick-ass moniker that guarantees him a reality TV show. Oh well. Goes to show that just when you think Bear Grylls can't possibly be cooler than he already is, something comes along to prove you wrong.

   
• Trains. Dear iOS developers... I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR GAMES, SO STOP MAKING AWESOME NEW APPS I WANT TO PLAY! Especially all these terrific new board game apps for iPad. As a board game addict, it is really cool to see great games like Neuroshima Hex and Carcassonne being released, but now Days of Wonder has gone and dropped the awesome Ticket to Ride game for a mere $6.99 (my board game version cost $25!)... and it is stellar. It's better than stellar. It actually improves on the original by making it easier and more straightforward to play. But they didn't stop there, they made it Game Center aware, so you can play against other people anywhere in the world...

Ticket To Ride for iPad

The object of the game is to build railroads. You do this by drawing Destination Tickets which give you two cities to connect. You then play colored Train Cards to build your routes, with longer routes being worth bigger points. It's easy to learn, but the strategy is where the fun is. Do you complete your own route, or block your opponent from completing theirs? Do you risk drawing another Destination Card to increase your score, or do you play it safe because you're running low on train cars? The variations on play are endless but, just in case you get bored, you can add expansion sets with an in-game purchase.

This is the future of board games right here. You can play against your friends no matter where you are, or connect with other players online when you don't have somebody to play with! Granted, it can be tricky to get a Game Center game started up, but other than that it's a flawless app. About the only thing I miss is the socializing that happens when playing a "real" game in person (talking smack over chat isn't the same!), but that's a minor detail when you consider how hard it is to get people together to play in "Real Life." For iPad users, Ticket to Ride gets my highest possible recommendation!

   
• Trolls. This past week my blog was linked to by some kind of newsletter from a wacky organization seeking to "protect marriage." Since the post they linked to has me supporting marriage equality and calling equality opponents "weak," I suppose it was only a matter of time. I got around a dozen comments, all of which were deleted because they were nasty or didn't contribute to the conversation in any meaningful way. Apparently, their only argument against marriage equality was to bad-mouth me, which is not commenting. It's just name-calling. Somehow I am not surprised that this is all they have left, considering a recent Gallup poll now has the majority of Americans supporting gay marriage for the first time...

Gallup Gay Marriage Poll

This has me envisioning a future where Americans look back at this point in time and think "What the fuck was that all about?" Which will be nice, because I can't for the life of me understand what the big deal is over a person's sexuality not restricting their rights. If somebody writes left-handed, you don't see right-handed people demanding lefties can't get married... so who gives a fuck about two consenting gay adults getting married?

A lot of very insecure people who are worried that they are going to be tempting into getting gay-married, apparently. Which brings me to something of sheer awesomeness tweeted to me by @Galaxyfighter (Not Safe for Work)...

   
And on that note, I suppose I should be getting back to work.

Comments

  1. Suebob says:

    I love that the anti-equality people took the time to come over and insult you. Gives them less time to molest children or kill kittens or whatever it is they are usually doing for hobbies.

  2. claire says:

    You’d think that the religious right would have more problems with atheists getting married. All I can fathom is a bunch of self-hating closeted folk in leadership/power positions with compliant followers. Why else would they care so much about what other people do? Where does all that fear come from?

  3. Invader_Stu says:

    I was lucky enough to see Steve Huges about two or three years ago at Toombler in Amsterdam. He’s really funny.

    And I’m doomed now that I know I can get Ticket To Ride on the iPhone.

  4. Sue says:

    That video was hilarious! I haven’t even had breakfast yet, but I nearly chocked on my coffee!

    By the way, I know it’s Jello (not Snakpack), but have you see the “pudding face” commercials? I thought of you.

  5. muskrat says:

    dammit…now i wish i’d stayed up and watched SNL!
    maybe the song sketch they did will be on hulu or youtube. i was an enormous fan of “dick in a box.”

    • Dave2 says:

      It looks as though everything is on Hulu except the hilarious “Liquorville” sketch (continues the series started by “Homelessville” and “Omeletville” and “Plasticville”)… and it would seem that the Lady Gaga performances have ben separated out into separate videos. Otherwise, you’re good to go!

  6. kilax says:

    I never watch SNL but when I saw JT was hosting I knew it would be hiliarious! I was not dissapointed. You have seen “Mother Lover,” right? I saw you said that the 3-Way skit was the funniest digital short since “Dick in a Box” but “Mother Lover” had Sarandon and Clarkson in it too :) And is effin’ hilarious.

  7. martymankins says:

    Seems the haters of equality get nasty is the comments they leave you. Douchebags!

    SNL was awesome and I agree that Timberlake made that show so good, as he has in the past. The skits were great, especially “Liquorville” (bummer that it’s not on Hulu, although with Hulu Plus, you get access to the entire show)

  8. Jacki says:

    Steve Hughes? Never heard of him – but I now like him!

  9. Avitable says:

    I loved the SNL – the last three episodes have been good, but this finale hit all the right notes.

    I don’t get the Bear love. I understand that he knows how to survive, but his show is contrived and obnoxious. I don’t like that he kills animals just to simulate survival. There’s that other show, Survivorman, where the guy actually goes into the wild alone with nothing but a camera. It may not be as flashy, but it’s definitely more genuine.

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