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Bullet Sunday 11

Posted on Sunday, December 31st, 2006

Dave!How can I be so exhausted yet not be able to sleep?

I went to bed at 9:30 and was relieved that I might actually catch up on some much-needed shuteye. But then I woke up at midnight, and haven't been able to get back to sleep all night. Insomnia sucks ass, but it did give me time to write the final Bullet Sunday of 2006... BLOGOGRAPHY'S BEST OF THE YEAR LIST!

• Best New Television Show... For nine glorious weeks, Project Catwalk featured Elizabeth Hurley being Elizabeth Hurley which makes it one of the greatest shows ever. At least it was, until this tragic event occurred.

• Best Returning Television Show... How does one choose between Veronica Mars and Battlestar Galactica? (if you are a guy, trust me... you want to follow those links!).

• Best Guest Appearance on a Television Show...

Peterotica
Betty White in "Peterotica" from The Family Guy.

• Best Movie... This is a tough call, but I was taken completely by surprise at how much I loved Little Miss Sunshine. A close second is The Prestige, which haunted me for weeks.

• Best Bad Movie Hype... I went to Brokeback Mountain because of all the hype and was so bored that I consider this to be one of the worst films ever. I prefer my remake, Bareback Monkey. "I wish I could quit you, Captain Crunch!"

• Best Video Game... Lego Star Wars 2: The Original Trilogy. I only wish I had time to play it.

• Best Funny... I never claimed that Blogography was a humor blog but, when I set my mind to it, this can be the funniest blog ever.

• Best Poetry... I hate to be tooting my own horn here, but my Seven Odes From My Day-Trip To Chicago kick ass! I should totally write a book of poetry!

• Best Charitable Cause... There is nothing more important right now than immortalizing my greatness. Give generously to the Dave Monument Fund.

• Best Explanation of Why I Am The Way I Am...

Dave Universe
Yes, the world really does revolve around me.

• Best Reason to Have a Blog... Davecago was one of the year's biggest highlights for me.

• Best Shock... Randomly running into fellow blogger Timothy while in New York City just before he's off to Uganda. What are the odds? Considering he previously lived in American Samoa before moving to Africa, he would be voted the Blogger I'm Least Likely To Ever Meet, yet there he was in the middle of one of the biggest cities on earth.

• Best Non-Government Holiday... Yeah, it would be pretty hard to top Day of Slayer! (and getting to meet Mistress Eve and Dave3 a month later was icing on the cake).

• Best Garfield Strip in 25 Years... Well, it's not like Jim Davis was ever going to get around to doing it. You may think I'm joking here, but I'm totally not.

• Best Bad Influence... Bad Monkey really is bad... he's teaching kids to smoke cigarettes and then getting them into trouble at school.

• Best Blog Fan... Turns out that I'm not good-looking, not funny, and not nice, and somebody was kind enough to point it out to me.

• Best Identity Theft... And here I only thought I was joking about people wanting to be me...

Dave Hair
Who could possibly want to be me with hair like this?

• Best Bad Robert Story... Well, of those stories I was actually able to share without getting sued, I guess it would have to be Bad Robert's Blue Balls.

• Best Advice... How to make your blog be like every other blog (though some people hated me for this one).

• Best Way To Hide a Fart... Who knew a pack of gum would make the best odor eliminator ever?

• Best Lie... Bob is a psychopath.

• Best Lesson Learned... One thing at a time.

• Best Blogography Entry... How can I choose when they're all so good? I've narrowed it down to these ten...

  • Pain. I read this one and even I laugh out loud.
  • Wipe. If only all entries could be about wiping my ass.
  • Chasm. So bizarre that I have no idea what it means, but I like it.
  • Uhura. Hah! It's a penis with a bluetooth headset!
  • Worse. Sometimes a cartoon can say more than words ever can.
  • Cake. Bad Monkey with a urinal cake in his mouth was one of my best ideas ever.
  • Drawn. How DaveToons are created.
  • Forty. Best imaginary birthday ever.
  • Bagged. I'm amazed I managed to make an entry out of a plastic shopping bag.
  • Stevenote. Sometimes my wacky imagination surprises even me.

• Best Reader... It's totally you! How could it be anybody but you? Thanks for stopping by, and we'll see you next year.

Best Friends

Comments

  1. Kyra says:

    I dunno… I kinda like the hair. ;) Happy New Year’s Eve! Don’t party too hard with Bad Monkey (it’s illegal in most states…)

  2. RW says:

    Wait a minute… you just mentioned 324 entries from last year. What’s the matter…? You left 10 off!

    Slacker…

  3. MRKisThatKid says:

    Woohoo, I just knew I had to be best at something! Just a pity it’s taken this long to find my talent.

  4. Laurence says:

    What can I say, Dave ?

    Blogography is the first blog where I left a comment. (It is odd, but it is true.) And I discovered a sweet genius who always respects his readers !!!

    2006 was a beautiful year because I make a virtual meet (but real at the same time)… And I didn’t think it was possible.

    So, thanks for all…
    Bon réveillon !
    See you next year !!! :-)

  5. Hilly says:

    Your hair is one of your best features so shaddup!

    Lil Snackie enjoyed playing with Lil Dave and Bad Monkey….that was one of her highlights this year ;).

    Happy 2007!

  6. Dave2 says:

    Kyra… Partying with your monkey is illegal?? Tell me it isn’t so!

    RW… If that’s too many, I could remove the entry with you in it… but then again… you DID see that I’m the center of the universe there, right?

    MRK… It was your appearance here that made you a shoe-in!

    Laurence… Yes, yes, a genius… this is true. I feel bad now that I must make you wait an entire day before you have more “me” to read!

    Hilly… I’d say it was one of Lil’ Dave’s hilights too… but he had a nicotine-addicted monkey waiting for him when he got back!

  7. Tracy Lynn says:

    My personal fave is the entry where you decided to have a man purse. Very funny.

    Rock on with your bad self, Dave.

  8. Dave2 says:

    Actually, that entry wasn’t very funny… until you left your comment! I still get a laugh out of that one. :-)

  9. sandra says:

    I’ll put my vote in for Veronica Mars…

  10. Dave2 says:

    Yes, it’s hard to go wrong with a show that features faux lesbian dancing!

  11. Wait. If the Earth revolves around you, how is it still here revolving around ME? That doesn’t make any sense.

    Happy New Year, Dave!

    *moves hand off keyboard to click the post button* heh.

  12. Jeff says:

    Definitely the best summary of Blogography 2006 I’ve read so far.

    Happy New Year Dave!!!

  13. amanda says:

    Happy New Year, everyone! (even Bad Monkey)

  14. NetChick says:

    Okay, now I have to say, that’s the CUTEST PHOTO ever of you, Dave!! Hee!

    Have an incredible New Years Eve, and thanks for all the giggles in 2006. Looking forward to enjoying your craziness in 2007!!

  15. diane says:

    Wow, first Time names me the person of the year, and now I’m Blogography’s best reader, too? Hooray for me!! ;-)
    Happy New Year Dave! Glad I discovered you this year–and it was fun to get to go through some archives I hadn’t seen before. Lil Hilly and Lil Dave are too cute!

  16. nancycle says:

    OK, Seven Odes From My Day-Trip To Chicago, dinner with RW (the fictitious version), Blue Balls made even me feeling like a wet rag laugh.

    Thanks for the walk down bloggery lane Dave. You never cease to disappoint.

  17. ms. sizzle says:

    it’s clickity click goodness all over this post. but i just have to say “awww” at the final toon.

    happy new year fellow washingtonian!
    :) sizz

  18. Dave2 says:

    Kentucky Girl… Obviously, we have some kind of time/space parallel universe continuum thing going on here.

    Jeff… So far? Are you expecting that there will be a BETTER summary of Blogography in 2006? If you find it, do let me know!

    Amanda… Bad Monkey is out partying this New Years with Paris Hilton. I hope he doesn’t pick up any new diseases, because he’s maxed out on antibiotics as it is.

    NetChick… Thanks… hey… did you just call me crazy?

    Diane… I thought that Lil’ Hilly would be a better influence on Lil’ Dave than Bad Monkey’s hedonistic lifestyle… but, alas, it was just not to be. Blog mascots are all a little crazy. Oh well. Lil’ Dave looks great in his Hawaiian board shorts!

    Nancycle… Blogography: The Satisfaction is Built In! :-)

    Ms. Sizzle… It’s my favorite too. I’ve got it hanging on my wall. :-D

  19. Vicky says:

    Happy New Year…I came across your blog looking up something Hello Kitty related (no, not the hello kitty vibrator), and it found you because of the post on Hello Kitty pop tarts. Glad to say I am officially hooked now, so here’s to a new year of making me laugh! (you may think the world revolves around you, I just think everyone is here to entertain me!)

  20. Xtine says:

    happy new year!

    nice list!

  21. Kapha says:

    Happy 2007 to all!! :)

    P.S. I love “Dave’s Universe”! :D

  22. serap says:

    Happy New Year you 3 (Real Dave,Lil’ Dave and Bad Monkey)… I hope that 2007 brings you all you wish for (Liz H no doubt!). x

  23. ~jtm says:

    Happy New Year, Dave! One of the best things about 2006 was finding your blog *g*.

    ~raise a toast to 2007…may it bring health and happiness.

  24. Vero says:

    Oh Dave that last comment totally got me… aaaaw it was really sweet of you, even though the bad influence of Bad Monkey. I wish u the best in this year.

    Greetings from Mexico!!!!!!!

  25. Happy New Year. I surfed over from Diane’s blog and enjoyed reading your list here.

  26. Greg says:

    Betty White– heck yes!! The only reason to have that award is to give it to her. Absolutely amazing. And slightly arousing.

    Happy New Year!!

  27. Eve says:

    Dave’s universe is so kick ass! And I’m excited that I got a mention on the BEST list, very cool. Day of Slayer really was the best non-government holiday of the year. V Mars and BG, yup, tough call, although I think season 3 of BG is going better than season 3 of V Mars. The Prestige probably was the best movie of the year. LMS was great too, but I think I could watch Prestige several times and see something new each time.

    Happy New Year, my friend! Look forward to your return visit to NYC.

  28. Mia says:

    How about the award for “return of the crazy blogging chick who can’t stop moving her blog so people can find her”…I kick ASS at that award!

    Happy 2007!

  29. Peggy Archer says:

    Happy New Year, Dave.

    Here’s hoping ’07 will be the best yet!

  30. exposed says:

    fyi doll – betty white is about to be on the craig ferguson show.

  31. Dave2 says:

    Vicky… Well, it’s certainly MY mission in life! Thanks for the kind comments. :-)

    Xtine… Yeah, but your list had “Superman Returns” at the top of the “best movies of 2006” which is much cooler than mine!

    Kapha… Good thing… you’re living in it!

    Serap… If 2007 truly does bring me everything I wish for, I’ll invite you to my private island for cocktails as I rule over the earth.

    Avitable… Look at my next entry, and see just how right you are!

    JTM… With all these nice comments, I really should start making people pay to read Blogography! Thanks!

    Vero… Hola Mexico! I wish I could go back to your country for a visit, but Bad Monkey was kicked out of Mexico after a rather unpleasant incident in Tijuana a few years ago, and I dare not leave him home alone. Maybe one day… :-)

    Rose… I’m glad the waves treated you well on your way over… I’m terrible at surfing, and always end up dumping into the ocean with my surfboard smacking me on my head. :-D

    Greg… Betty White totally kicks ass! I look forward to many more guest appearances and ass-kicking from Betty in 2007!

    Eve… I’m looking forward to my next New York trip. We can met up for bagels in Brooklyn! I loved “The Prestige” even though it kind of messed with my head for a bit.

    Mia… No doubt. I thought you were “buggin” out for good, and then discover you’ve popped up again at a new “home!”

    Peggy… That would be nice, thanks! Hopefully I’ll see you at “Dave L.A.” when I make it down south this year!

    Exposed… REALLY?!? Thanks! I totally just told TiVo to grab it! Betty so totally rocks.

  32. Kevin says:

    No self-reflecting, pseudo mirror for that last bullet like on Time? Bummer. If someone can figure out how to make that work on the Web, they’d be, well, very highly liked at the very least. ;-)

    Happy New Year.

  33. Robin says:

    Loved your recap of the year. Glad I found your blog this year! Happy 2007!

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