Jenny is a very smart cat. Very.

This poast week Jenny met me in the kitchen and was complaining about something. I didn't know what until I went to sit down in the living room. Jake was in her spot. She likes the warming pad that's next to me, and Jake usually takes the heating pad on the loveseat across from that.

And I was like "Well, he beat you to it, so you can sit on his spot." BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID? Something she's done many times, but I never realized it until now. She scratches on the scratching post behind the loveseat knowing that as soon as she starts, Jake will come running to investigate and start scratching himself. And as soon as he did, she came running around the corner so she can get petted and take her spot back.

I know this is unbelievable, but heeeeere's the video...

Note how Jake wanders off, not even knowing that he's been played.

Speaking of Jake. He's finally started going outside to see the snow, though he doesn't seem to know what to make of it...

Sometime soon, I need to shovel some snow into the catio so they can play in it.

Jake and Jenny turn 8 years old today. Well, probably today. They were found in the wild, so their birthday has always been estimated.

Last year was more than a little upsetting for me, because most cats only live 13 to 14 years old, which means December 2022 was the half-way point of their expected lifetime. Sure there are cats that live to be 18 years old, but this is not common. Which is to say that if they weren't at their half-life last year, they most certainly are this year.

It's tough to wrap my head around, because it seems like they only arrived yesterday...

So, yeah, celebrating Jake and Jenny's birthday from here on out is just going to be a celebration of them being around for another year. Because that's pretty much what it has to be, doesn't it?

Happy 8th birthday to my two knuckleheads. My life is better because you're both in it.

It's snowed a little bit this week, but yesterday is when it really hammered us. This is a confusing time for my cats, as they don't have very good long-term memories. To them, they've never seen snow before, so this is something wild and new.

But first... I've been playing with macro photography on my iPhone, so here's a macro photo of Jake...

And now back to the snow.

Jenny was a brave little girl and charged outside right after breakfast. She shook her little feet with each step because she did not like them getting wet. But then she decided to dig a hole in it to see what it was all about...

Jake, on the other hand, prefered to view the madness from the safety (and warmth) from inside...

Maybe later this week I'll shovel more snow into the catio so they have enough to play in. That's always good for big fun.

And speaking of big fun... it's almost their dinnertime.

Well. This day could have gone better.

On the bright side, it could have gone much, much worse.

Anyway, happy Monday...

Cats are the best.

My cats have been fending for themselves while I've been over the mountains for the holiday Weekend. Fortunately their food, water, and litter-box are all automated, so all I have to do is check in on them with the security cameras and make sure they aren't eating each other's food.

Although automation isn't always guaranteed.

Earlier this week I came down to feed them breakfast when I noticed that there was a pile of poo outside the litter-box on the litter-shield shelf. I didn't have to watch the security cameras to know what happened. Jake used it, then it didn't self-clean for some reason. Jenny, who refuses to use a dirty litter-box, schooched as far back as she could, so her little butt was hanging out the opening. Poo poo for you.

Then I checked the playback and, sure enough...

Guess I officially know my cats too well.

Snow is inching closer, but I'm not pulling the shovel out just yet... because an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now...

   
• Holiday Trooper! I've been sending care packages to the troops through AnySoldier.com for years. This is another program that's very cool because it doesn't cost you a dime! Just choose the four treats you want to send overseas, write a message of support, and Crown Royal will send it!

I wish more organizations would do something like this.

   
• Catventure! Mr. Kitters has many adventures (here's a link in case TikTok is being a dick)...

Surprisinly, I haven't seen Mr. Kitters ripping apart some poor bird. Thank heavens.

   
• Murder! There I was, just starting A Murder at the End of the World on Hulu. The main character is driving in a car with her boyfriend and they are singing along to No More I Love You's by Annie Lennox... and I know this will be a show that's something truly special. Honestly, they could have just released this scene as a commercial for the series and I would be all in. But there's so much more to it, and I can't wait for the remaining five episodes to drop...

The cast is amazing on top of it all. I just hope they stick the landing.

   
• Killer! Every time I see yet another brilliant film by David Fincher, I am mad all over again that he never got to make the sequels to The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, which remains one of my favorite films of all time. Though, while we're on the subject, a sequel to The Killer on Netflix would be fantastic, because this was a darn enjoyable flick...

ALTHOUGH... a better use of the money would be for Netflix (who has an existing relationship with Fincher AND Daniel Craig) to get the rights to The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest. Just sayin'.

   
• What Was I Made For? People saying that Billy Eilish is untalented makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. She's not entirely my thing... but I love this song... and listening to her brother explain how they created it should put the nail in the coffin of the idea that anybody could crap out the music they make. A song so multifaceted and lovely doesn't happen by accident. This is art...

Brilliant.

   
• Unmortricken! Rick and Morty has always been borderline genius with momentary lapses into episodes I'm completely indifferent about. But this latest episode? Unmortricken? I honestly don't know where the show goes from here. It's like every episode up until this point has been building to this point... and now it's over. Or mostly over. Which means that they either A) Have a plan to move in an entirely different direction along the same bizarre themes. B) Have ruined the show and it's going to devolve into a suck spiral before dying out. C) Will eventually realize that this was a big mistake and find a way to reverse it. I really hope it's Option A, because wow this episode was this a fantastic example of how *good* the show is when it's not getting in its own way.

No, I didn't like Unmortricken better than ten other episodes (including The Rickshank Rickdemption which is one of the best episodes of television ever made), but it just goes to show that Rick and Morty is far from over if they can keep defying expectations like this.

   
• Blarf! I was excited that a Jaime Reyes "Blue Beetle" movie was in development. He's a fun character in the comics, and the fact that we'd finally get a Latino-centric super-hero movie meant it might be *different* from the same old thing. — Until I saw the trailers. They made it very clear that this was a "power of family" movie instead of a Blue Beetle movie. And who gives a shit about that? — Turns out the movie (now on HBO Max) is even worse than that. It is boring as fuck. It takes a half-hour... A HALF-HOUR... before you even see the Blue Beetle, for crying out loud...

This is the most boring, uneventful, slog of an origin story that's ultimately just a frickin' Iron Man/Spider-Man hybrid clone, and not in a good way. I hope to God that James Gunn gets the DCU turned around so we avoid more of this idiotic crap. HA HA HA! GRANDMA WITH A GATLING GUN! HILARIOUS! and, even worse, HA HA HA! HOW FUNNY! HE CAN'T CONTROL THE SUIT AND HE'S RUNNING INTO EVERYTHING FOR TEN MINUTES! Jesus. I know Greatest American Hero was a while ago, but this has been done to death. From there on it's just talk talk talk talk talk with action beats that are equally boring. What a frickin' waste.

   
Hope your Turkey Day is a good one.

My Litter-Robots keep track of Jake and Jenny's weights. Every time they use one of them, their weight is recorded. Originally, when I bought the Version 4 robots, I was promised that you could personalize the app with your cats' names so that it could keep track of how often they go to the bathroom and monitor their weights. That feature still isn't here... you have to manually look at the history and keep track yourself... but it's pretty easy to spot which cat is which because Jake has five pounds on Jenny, his more petite sister.

Jake is a big boi.

Not just overweight... he's big. Like he's got some Maine Coon in his genetic makeup. Jenny is smaller by a third, but she's also not as tiny as average cats I see. And both of them have large primordial pouches (abdominal flaps) and excess loose skin on their bellies which make them hang a little lower to the ground than other cats.

When it comes to their weight, I've never been overly-concerned because it's well-distributed. When viewed from the top they are not protruding on their sides. They are slim like regular cats. And you can feel their ribs. Neither is obese. But Jake is heavy, and his vet said he could stand to lose some weight, as it might help with the urinary problems he had back in the day.

When I changed to the new vacuum-sealed feaders, they measure in 1/12th cups instead of 1/10th cups of the old feeders. Since I spread their feedings out to avoid Jake doing a scarf-and-barf, I simply eliminated one of their feedings to see what would happen. Instead of getting .45 cups a day, they now get .42 cups. Not a huge amount, but it's making a difference. Mostly because the cats complain... but partly in their weight.

In the month since the change, Jake has lost 1.9 pounds. Jenny has lost .3 pounds. Probably because Jenny is so close to her target weight and Jake is... not.

But my cats are weirder than most in a number of areas, including how they eat, so this kind of progress with Jake could not be guaranteed. Jake will sometimes skip a feeding or two. Then sometimes he will eat all his feedings and skim off his sister as well. Sometimes Jenny will eat both her portion and Jake's if he doesn't show up. Sometimes she will eat only hers. It's a total crap-shoot. All I know is that if I put down a giant bowl of food, Jake would gorge himself several times. I can imagine him easily eating twice his usual amount of food because he doesn't have any self-control. He'll eat his entire dinner... then come watch me eat mine, hoping for a treat.

I think so long as he's not losing weight too quickly... and he stops losing weight once he's closer to his target weight... this will be a good thing. More healthy for him. But most importantly? He doesn't seem to notice now that he's adjusted to the feeding schedule that's minus a meal.

That's healthy for me... because my cats won't murder me in my sleep.

Don't mind me.

I'm just hanging out in bed.

Listening to the rain with my buddy here...

Jenny would rather hide in the closet.

In celebration of Captain Marvel's second feature film, Marvel Studios took out an ad on The Sphere Las Vegas. And it stars her alien flerkin, Goose!

Out of all the characters in the Marvel Universe, I have to say that the way they've handled Goose is my favorite. This is epic.

And, lastly, here's a kitten that loves corn more than you do...

Or maybe it's the butter? Hard to tell with cats.

Tomorrow is my cats most hated day of the year... Daylight Saving Time starts. The clocks fall back but, from their perspective, they're just getting fed an hour later for some random reason. When it ends in Spring, they're thrilled because breakfast is coming an hour early. But until then? Yikes.

The difference this year is that I'm over on the coast, so I'm not home to deal with it. But to make things easier, I did add a small 6am feeding in addition to their regular 7am feeding in the hopes that they won't be going too insane. But otherwise? It's going to be a tough couple of weeks before they adjust.

I think the bigger problem with me being gone is that there's nobody to turn on the electric blanket for them...

Before I left for Seattle, I was downstairs watching television with Jenny. Then I heard Jake crying upstairs. He does this sometimes. I don't panic like I used to, because it usually means he's found a toy he likes or something. But this time it didn't stop, and pretty soon he was wailing. This worried me quite a lot, so I went running upstairs to see if he was dying or something. Turns out he was mad because the blanket wasn't on. So I turned it on and went back downstairs.

About ten minutes later, he ran downstairs and hopped on his warming pad...

I guess he wanted company and warmth, and was mad that I didn't stay upstairs with him? Impossible to know.

Last night I watched the three episodes of The West Wing with Matthew Perry, then fell asleep watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. This morning I woke up and started getting ready for work until I realized that it was Sunday. This really sucks. For all I know Matthew Perry would have never done another project ever. He hadn't done movies or television in years... six years according to IMDB. But there was always a chance he would return. And now there's just the past. After I realized I didn't have to go to work I watched the Nate Bargatze episode of SNL. It was hilarious and brilliant as I knew it would be, and I was able to escape the world for a while. Until there was a title card in memoriam of Matthew Perry at the end and there I was back in the world again. I don't know if I have the headspace to watch my favorite episodes of Friends. David Schwimmer may have been closer to David Simmer in name, but Chandler Bing was where I lived. This really, really sucks.... but an all new Bullet Sunday starts... now... anyway...

   
• Matthew Perry. This will sound like heresy, but as much as I love Chandler Bing... my favorite Matthew Perry character is a tie between Joe Quincy (The West Wing) and Matt Albie (Sunset 60 on the Sunset Strip)...

The guy was phenomenally talented, and was able to play so much more than slapsticky, over-exaggerated roles (as much as he excelled at them). It's always been sad to me that he had such a hard time finding material to match his talent. He should have been in series and movies as good as The West Wing and Studio 60 constantly. Rest In Peace, sir.

   
• Saturday Night! I don't have access to live television, so I had to wait until this morning to see Nate Bargatze's hosting gig on Saturday Night Live. I am a huge, huge fan and had been looking forward to it all week. I'm guessing it was a last-minute substtution because Nate Bargatze canceled a week of shows in order to appear. And people love the guy so much that nobody was mad. They were thrilled that he got such an opportunity. And, as expected, he was incredible. His opening monologue started off a bit rough, but he quickly found his footing and killed it...

His sketches were amazing and I was wishing the show was three hours longer...

Absolutely incredible that his comedy is clean. He doesn't have to curse to be funny. Let me rephrase that, he doesn't have to curse to be hilarious. If you haven't checked out his specials on Netflix, I'd recommend starting with The Tennessee Kid, which is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

   
• Cat Daddy! Hey! It's National Cat Dad Day today! This is the look I got when I tried to explain it all...

Not the reaction I was hoping for, so I tried to explain it again...

What they're saying in this photo is “Happy National Cat Dad Day, dad!” “Yeah! Thanks for everything you do for us, dad!” “Love you, dad!” — Or so I’m guessing.

   
• Bodies. I just finished the Netflix adaptation of Bodies and loved it. One of my favorite shows of 2023 for sure. It's different than the graphic novel in many ways, but it's still totally brilliant...

The changes they made are actually very smart and make the show more accessible and less weird. If you watched the Netflix show and enjoyed it, I encourage you to pick up the original graphic novel, which is due to be reprinted and released at the end of the month. I was saddened to learn that the creator/writer of the series, Si Spencer, died in 2021. The first episode was dedicated to his memory.

   
• Freddy! Seeing Jack Cutmore-Scott on Frasier has me running back to watch him in Deception... one of my favorite shows ever...

It's sad that they canceled the show after one season. It's criminal that they ended it on a cliffhanger and didn't bother to wrap it up with a movie or second season. Even so, it's worth a watch.

   
• Girl You Know It's True! Say what you like about Milli Vanilli... even though the guys on the cover didn't sing the songs (John Davis, Brad Howell, Jodie Rocco, and Linda Rocco did that)... their music was darn good. And the story behind the guys on the cover has been released as a Netflix documentary...

It's a good documentary, and paints a sympathetic picture of how something can snowball out of control when massive success happens. If you're an 80's music fan, this is a decent watch.

   
• King! Hasan Minhaj is the choice to host The Daily Show. Period. Full stop. But bigotry can't allow a Brown Muslim person to have a platform, and he was reportedly the front-runner for the job, so The New Yorker craps out a hit-piece which went way, way beyond the scope of an article explaining how a comedian weaves stories to do their job. But NOOOOOO... they had an agenda in mind. How many movies are "based on a true story" but changes events to tell a better story? ALL OF THEM. THAT'S HOW MANY. Otherwise they would be a DOCUMENTARY. Comedians have to do the same job to entertain people as movie writers, and they change events ALL THE TIME to do that. But Minhaj is an uppity Brown Muslim who dares to speak out on racism and create stories around events he endured, and we can't let that stand. Perfectly okay for legions of white comedians to expand, exaggerate, and reframe events for their jokes. Unacceptable for Hasan Minhaj. Wish I could say I'm surprised. BECAUSE THAT WAS THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF "HOMECOMING KING," WHICH IS EASILY ONE OF THE BEST STAND-UP PERFORMANCES EVER CREATED. But here we are... Hasan Minhaj Offers Detailed Response to New Yorker Story: “It Was So Needlessly Misleading”.

   
Onward and upward. See you with more bullets next week.