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Posted on Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

Dave!Eh oh!

Bad Monkey is Tinky Winky Teletubby


Remember back in 1999 when religious leader Jerry Falwell declared that the purple member of The Teletubbies was a homosexual role model for children because he was carrying that red handbag everywhere? Yes, it sounds ridiculous, but he was totally serious about it.

Since that time, other religious leaders and groups have been in an uproar over things they consider to be bad role models for children... and, more often than not, it's because they are gay (e.g. Chris Coffer on Glee) or assumed to be gay (e.g. Tinky Winky and SpongeBob SquarePants)...

SpongeBob Rainbow

Whatever the case, these morons honestly believe that even the mere sight of something they perceive to be gay will causes kids to embrace homosexuality.

And what can parents do when their child has been infected by The Gayness? According to Pastor Sean Harris of the Barean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, N.C., you beat the gay out of them, of course!

"So your little son starts to act a little girlish when he is four years old and instead of squashing that like a cockroach and saying, 'Man up, son, get that dress off you and get outside and dig a ditch, because that is what boys do,' you get out the camera and you start taking pictures of Johnny acting like a female and then you upload it to YouTube and everybody laughs about it and the next thing you know, this dude, this kid is acting out childhood fantasies that should have been squashed."
"Can I make it any clearer? Dads, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there and crack that wrist. Man up. Give him a good punch, okay? You are not going to act like that. You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male. And when your daughter starts acting too butch you reign her in. And you say, 'Oh no, sweetheart. You can play sports... play them to the glory of God. But sometimes you are going to act like a girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up.'"

Who is this sadistic moron?

And we wonder why gay youth are committing suicide in record numbers.

I'm straight, but heaven only knows I'm not the most masculine guy in the world. I most certainly wasn't the most masculine kid in school. And because of that, I should have been abused and beaten just to be sure any non-masculine behavior wasn't a sign that I might be "turning gay?"

When the furor over Pastor Sean's remarks hit earlier this week, I started writing a long rant about how we're quickly becoming a society that is hostile... sometimes fatal... to children who are even a little different than what is considered "normal." But as I was re-reading it, I decided that it would do more harm than good, and tossed it.

Then today I read where Pastor Sean is retracting his statements of persecution and violence, but not really. He still feels totally justified in telling people to beat their kids based on scripture that he obviously doesn't understand.

And now I'm wishing I hadn't tossed out my rant, because I concluded it by calling Pastor Sean "a fucking asshole that should be arrested for child endangerment who then gets the shit beaten out of him in prison so he can fully understand the violence he is advocating."

Some would say that such a wish for violence against Pastor Sean makes me no better than the asshole himself. They would be right.

But then I think back to the child I was. The child who wasn't good at sports, who didn't like hiking or fishing, who wasn't popular with girls, who loved art and music, who wasn't like most of the boys... and I say "fuck it." He would have advocated my getting beaten, so it's only right that he be on the receiving end of the same sentiment. Eye for an eye and all that.

And since I'm pretty sure I read that in The Bible somewhere, it's totally justified, right?


  1. Kailyn says:

    I’m usually all non-violence but there are certain people I think could “benefit” from time in general population in prison. Pastor Sean is one of them.

  2. Kristin Wood says:

    I couldn’t agree more. People who tell impressionable religious “flocks” to beat their children deserve to receive what they advocate. I’m a compassionate person, but this make me see RED. The bible says an eye for an eye, if you need a justifying verse.

  3. Kyra Wilson says:

    My only hope with such a moron having his sadistic public speech reach others is that other people who are unsure will wake up and realize how horrible his sentiment truly is.

    MY son is one of those boys. Oh, he plays soccer, is into Magic the Gathering, shooting Nerf guns, and likes woodworking, but some of his mannerisms include that floppy wrist and others that some might question. You know what a floppy wrist is? A FREAKING floppy wrist! THAT’S IT! If some day my son says to me “Mom, I’m Gay” it won’t be because his wrist was at a different angle from his friends, it will be because he was born that way – and I love everything about him. EVERYTHING.

    That anyone would think it’s ok to advocate hurting a child, for any reason, that is what is NOT ok.

  4. B.E. Earl says:

    Ah, but he said he was just kidding. Hahaha…now it’s funny, right? Wrong. He’s a douche.

  5. ssp says:

    +1 for Teletubby Bad Monkey!

  6. RW says:

    The Book of Romans is a terrible instigator of abuse and hatred. More proof, for me as a Quaker, that there are no such things as “holy books” that were “sent down from God.” Nor am I bound to believe any fellow human who tells me this or that tract is sacrosanct.

    The Bible – any of them – is a document made from the biases of common men, sanctioned by an Emperor (Constantine) who knew full well what political gain he was courting.

    I, for one, holding to William Penn’s maxim of “no cross, no crown,” reject the use of the Bible to support someone’s own hatreds. He (Harris), is a sick man who needs our care and help. And we ought to see him as such. But nothing more.

  7. martymankins says:

    You know what amazes me is how a book… an ancient book, is used to define many decisions that people make today and how the last 2000+ years of progress doesn’t mean shit unless it’s in the bible. And then you have those who use the bible as their main excuse to discriminate and teach hatred towards others.

    And they claim they are the good ones in life? I call BS.

  8. claire says:

    Makes me wonder if the Point-of-View gun from the Hitchhiker’s movie would help people like him or not.

    People like Pastor Sean are why I’ve never had any desire to be a part of an organized religion. People who spew hate, bigotry, and violence, particularly from leadership positions, infuriate me. So do the people who listen to it. Think for yourself! Remember the Golden Rule: treat others as you would like to be treated.


    Before I get sucked too far down this rabbit hole, I want to say: thanks, Dave! I really do appreciate all of your posts that speak out against homophobia. Thank you for your support!

  9. Sybil Law says:

    He’d be getting a taste of the gay in prison, too – besides just being beaten.
    Fucking loser. Gah.

  10. Marc says:

    This pastor is talking such sickening crap, I don’t know what to say.

    It is beyond my understanding that any thinking human being in today’s society can really think this way. Okay, the “thinking” part is apparently the problem in this case.

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