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Murder

Posted on Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

Dave!We were hit by a deluge this afternoon, with the rain falling so hard that leaves were being ripped from the trees. This made it really difficult to drive on the highway because the water was piling up faster than it could run off the road. Some cars started hydroplaning and losing control, so everybody slowed down to a more appropriate speed and everything was fine.

Until some dumbass came ripping down the highway at top speed, skidding through the water while weaving in and out of traffic. As he attempted to pass me, he slid so close to my car that I thought I would lose my side-mirror, but I managed to turn and brake quickly enough that I didn't get hit. That I nearly ended up in the ditch didn't mean anything to the asshole, and he sped off to even more dangerous encounters as horns were blaring around him.

The hospital was in the opposite direction, so I have no idea why he was in such a hurry, but I wouldn't be surprised if he eventually ended up killing somebody.

Oh, excuse me, murdering somebody.

Because driving like a psychopath in such bad weather conditions is an intentional bid to kill someone... there would be no "accident" here. And yet, even such a reckless regard for safety (including his own) didn't seem to register as he was skidding all over the road.

Which makes me think about the old "If you could go back in time and kill Hitler, would you do it?" question. No, this asshole driver probably isn't going to end up responsible for killing millions of people... but do the numbers really matter when murdering even one person is a tragedy? Everybody is important to somebody.

And so there I am behind the wheel watching in horror as some dumbass is skidding all over the place while other drivers try their best to avoid him. And it occurs to me that I don't have to go back in time to kill this asshole and save lives... I could follow him home and kill him right now!

Not that I would actually do it, of course. But what about the person that would? Like me, they come to the whole "kill Hitler" quandary and then, unlike me, decide to do society a favor and eliminate the bastard driver. What about them?

So drive safe everybody. It's not just an accident that can kill you.

And speaking of something that can kill you...

Pizza Hut in the Middle East has introduced "Crown Crust Carnival Pizza" where cheeseburgers or chicken nuggets are baked into the crust!

Pizza Hut Burgers Pizzas

GENIUS! It almost makes me wish I wasn't a vegetarian. And I lived in Kuwait. And I had a deathwish.

It's only a matter of time before they start putting chocolate cake in the crust so you can have pizza and dessert at the same time. I can't tell you how happy I am to be alive during an era of such magical culinary innovation. But it's pretty happy.

Tags: , , ,
Categories: DaveLife 2012, Food 2012Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Alexander says:

    I’m sure people in a certain middle east country are going to be asking that same “if you could go back” question about a certain U.S. president in years to come. If they aren’t already.

  2. Fluffycat says:

    They could probably make the pizza with veggie burgers instead of beef ones. And also don’t they have those fake vegetarian chicken nuggets.

    I love the commercial for these, how pleased and surprised everyone looks to be eating pizza and burger at the same time.

  3. the muskrat says:

    And to think, I was excited about cheese in the crust! This is so much more!

  4. martymankins says:

    Back in the day, dessert pizzas were really good. Especially the ones from Godfather’s Pizza.

    Assholes that drive like assholes will get their karma soon enough.

  5. i must ask…how did you even become aware of this pizza hut middle eastern creation?

  6. Jim says:

    Maybe they could cook in tofu pups or field roast nuggets?

  7. Sybil Law says:

    Ew- that pizza is gross. But nice to look at, anyway!
    Glad that asshole didn’t kill you!

  8. Trust me….I lived in Kuwait for 3 months and there is no pizza good enough to warrant even an overnight stay.

  9. jenny says:

    I have a better question for you: “If you could go back in time and kill all the sharks, would you do it?”

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