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Dump

Posted on Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Dave!A couple months ago I was in an auto parts store.*

While waiting in line to pay for whatever it was I was buying**, the guy behind me announced "I gotta take a dump like nobody's business, so can we hurry the line up?"

Naturally, I found this fascinating.

Not that the guy had to take a raging poop, but that he felt comfortable sharing such information. It had me curious to know why this was, and what other personal business he'd be sharing with us that day. Fortunately, I left before finding out.

And then I remembered that the internet is so much worse. People are forever talking about their bodily functions, their health problems, their relationships, and other personal crap online. I always thought that it was the abstraction... having a computer (or phone or whatever) in-between the person and their audience... that made this possible, but I guess that's not the case. People just like to share. Misery loves company, and all that.

People also love money, which explains shows like Jerry Springer, The Bachelor, Judge Judy, and the rest. For me, the bigger mystery would have to be Why do other people care enough to tune in, but whatever.

ANYWAY...

The reason I bring this up is that I am still getting email because of my "diaper problem."

Dave in a Diaper

Never mind that I don't actually have a "diaper problem" and it was a joke comment left on another person's site, people follow a link back to my blog, find my email address, and are compelled to write. Usually with suggestions of diaper brands... but also to share tips & tricks or to let me know about diaper support communities or (worst-case scenario) diaper fetish sites.

That's all well and good, I guess. Most of the people are simply trying to be helpful.

But today's email had photos attached.

And now that my retinas have stopped burning, I can see that there are times when the sharing goes too far. Waaayyyyy too far.

Though, now that I think about it, I really should have printed those photos before deleting the email. That way, the next time somebody announces they need to take a dump while I'm waiting in line at the auto parts store,*** I can show them a way to avoid such an uncomfortable situation in the future.

Or get punched in the face. One or the other.

   


*Don't ask me why. I wouldn't know what to do with an auto part. Any auto part.

**Seriously, I have no idea what I was buying. I'd say it was replacement wiper blades (that's the only thing I'd know how to fix) but the blades on my car are shit, so that wasn't it.

***Though I still have no clue why I would go back to an auto parts store. WHAT IN THE HECK WAS I DOING THERE?!?

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Categories: DaveLife 2012, DaveToons 2012Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Lisa says:

    Maybe it was for RainX. That’s why I’m going to an auto parts store today.

  2. martymankins says:

    That guy’s dump statement became someone’s business with his vocal complaint.

    I try to minimize the amount of bitching I do online about my personal problems. I mean, I could always use a sounding board here and there for some issues, but for the most part, it’s overload on others and I don’t want to stereotype myself as a complainer. I would much rather be known for as the penguin that rides a scooter and plays with LEGOs.

  3. Sybil Law says:

    Oh my God. That is fucking hysterical! I mean, sorry about your retinas, but this whole thing just made me laugh. 🙂

  4. bo says:

    Footnotes!

    Sorry. My excitement has over-ridden anything useful I might have said.

    Footnotes!

  5. Foo says:

    Oversharing makes my skin crawl, yet at the same time, makes me smile… Mostly because it’s proof that I made the right decision of getting rid of my other blog and deleting offenders from my twitter, Facebook and reader. Thank you for not sharing the diaper photos :).

  6. the muskrat says:

    I would have laughed hysterically if someone had announced that in line near me. No way I could’ve held it together.

  7. Christopher Stogdill says:

    I share one picture of what I find to be the best brand of adult diapers and you blow it out of proportion. Last time I share with you… 😉

  8. A. Lewis says:

    Lordy. People are SO FREAKING weird!

  9. Suebob says:

    Two things:
    My sis told me a story about being in a MASSIVE auto parts store and having a woman yell at her husband, right in the center of the store, “Hey! There’s nothing here but AUTO PARTS!”

    At breakfast with my friend Bob and two women, one of whom Bob had never met before, he suddenly announced “I like to keep a pretty good account of my moles. You know, in case of skin cancer.” It was in the midst of a conversation about something COMPLETELY unrelated. I suspect Bob smokes more hooch than he lets on.

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