Blogography Logo
spacer

  Home  

Dump

Posted on Monday, January 2nd, 2012

Dave!A couple months ago I was in an auto parts store.*

While waiting in line to pay for whatever it was I was buying**, the guy behind me announced "I gotta take a dump like nobody's business, so can we hurry the line up?"

Naturally, I found this fascinating.

Not that the guy had to take a raging poop, but that he felt comfortable sharing such information. It had me curious to know why this was, and what other personal business he'd be sharing with us that day. Fortunately, I left before finding out.

And then I remembered that the internet is so much worse. People are forever talking about their bodily functions, their health problems, their relationships, and other personal crap online. I always thought that it was the abstraction... having a computer (or phone or whatever) in-between the person and their audience... that made this possible, but I guess that's not the case. People just like to share. Misery loves company, and all that.

People also love money, which explains shows like Jerry Springer, The Bachelor, Judge Judy, and the rest. For me, the bigger mystery would have to be Why do other people care enough to tune in, but whatever.

ANYWAY...

The reason I bring this up is that I am still getting email because of my "diaper problem."

Dave in a Diaper

Never mind that I don't actually have a "diaper problem" and it was a joke comment left on another person's site, people follow a link back to my blog, find my email address, and are compelled to write. Usually with suggestions of diaper brands... but also to share tips & tricks or to let me know about diaper support communities or (worst-case scenario) diaper fetish sites.

That's all well and good, I guess. Most of the people are simply trying to be helpful.

But today's email had photos attached.

And now that my retinas have stopped burning, I can see that there are times when the sharing goes too far. Waaayyyyy too far.

Though, now that I think about it, I really should have printed those photos before deleting the email. That way, the next time somebody announces they need to take a dump while I'm waiting in line at the auto parts store,*** I can show them a way to avoid such an uncomfortable situation in the future.

Or get punched in the face. One or the other.

   


*Don't ask me why. I wouldn't know what to do with an auto part. Any auto part.

**Seriously, I have no idea what I was buying. I'd say it was replacement wiper blades (that's the only thing I'd know how to fix) but the blades on my car are shit, so that wasn't it.

***Though I still have no clue why I would go back to an auto parts store. WHAT IN THE HECK WAS I DOING THERE?!?

Tags: ,
Categories: DaveLife 2012, DaveToons 2012Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Lisa says:

    Maybe it was for RainX. That’s why I’m going to an auto parts store today.

  2. martymankins says:

    That guy’s dump statement became someone’s business with his vocal complaint.

    I try to minimize the amount of bitching I do online about my personal problems. I mean, I could always use a sounding board here and there for some issues, but for the most part, it’s overload on others and I don’t want to stereotype myself as a complainer. I would much rather be known for as the penguin that rides a scooter and plays with LEGOs.

  3. Sybil Law says:

    Oh my God. That is fucking hysterical! I mean, sorry about your retinas, but this whole thing just made me laugh. :)

  4. bo says:

    Footnotes!

    Sorry. My excitement has over-ridden anything useful I might have said.

    Footnotes!

  5. Foo says:

    Oversharing makes my skin crawl, yet at the same time, makes me smile… Mostly because it’s proof that I made the right decision of getting rid of my other blog and deleting offenders from my twitter, Facebook and reader. Thank you for not sharing the diaper photos :).

  6. the muskrat says:

    I would have laughed hysterically if someone had announced that in line near me. No way I could’ve held it together.

  7. Christopher Stogdill says:

    I share one picture of what I find to be the best brand of adult diapers and you blow it out of proportion. Last time I share with you… ;)

  8. A. Lewis says:

    Lordy. People are SO FREAKING weird!

  9. Suebob says:

    Two things:
    My sis told me a story about being in a MASSIVE auto parts store and having a woman yell at her husband, right in the center of the store, “Hey! There’s nothing here but AUTO PARTS!”

    At breakfast with my friend Bob and two women, one of whom Bob had never met before, he suddenly announced “I like to keep a pretty good account of my moles. You know, in case of skin cancer.” It was in the midst of a conversation about something COMPLETELY unrelated. I suspect Bob smokes more hooch than he lets on.

Add a Comment

Blankatar!

   
I love comments! However, all comments are moderated, and won't appear until approved. Are you an abusive troll with nothing to contribute? Don't bother. Selling something? Don't bother. Spam linking? Don't bother.
PLEASE NOTE: My comment-spam protection requires JavaScript... if you have it turned off or are using a mobile device without JavaScript, commenting won't work. Sorry.




   


   


   
   
   
Your personal information is optional. Email addresses are never shown, and are only used by me if a public reply would be too personal or inappropriate here. The URL link to your web site or blog will be provided, so only fill this in if you want people to visit!



   

  Home  

spacer
Welcome:
Blogography is a place to learn and grow by exposing yourself to the mind of David Simmer II, a brilliant commentator on world events and popular culture (or so he claims).
Dave FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions
Dave Flickr Gallery:
Dave Contact:
dave@blogography.com
Blogography Webfeeds:
Entries Feed
Comments Feed
Dave Social:
Blogography Tumblr
Blogography Instagram
Blogography on Pinterest
translate me
lost & found
Search Blogography:
thrice fiction
Thrice Fiction Magazine - March, 2011 - THE END
I'm co-founder of Thrice Fiction magazine. Come check us out!
free iphone app
Ask Dave iPhone App
Put Dave in your pocket with this FREE app for iPhone and iPod Touch. All life's answers await you with the Ask Dave app!
hard rock moment
Visit DaveCafe for my Hard Rock Cafe travel journal!
travel picto-gram
Visit my travel map to see where I have been in this world!
badgemania
Blogography Badge
Atom Syndicate Badge
Comments Syndicate Badge
Apple Safari Badge
Pirate's Booty Badge
Macintosh Badge
license
All content copyright ©2003-2017
by David Simmer II
   
Creative Commons License
This weblog is licensed under
a Creative Commons License.
ssl security
Comodo SSL