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Posted on Saturday, August 8th, 2009

Dave!When you turn on your television and see Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag staring back at you, do you wonder "Why in the hell are these dumbasses on television?"

When you pick up a magazine and see Spencer and Heidi on the cover, does your mind boggle as you try to understand why anybody should care about these two brain-dead morons, let alone give a crap about their stupid antics?

When you go to a movie premiere and see Spencer and Heidi show up so that Spencer can promote his wife's Christian values in a porno mag, do you puzzle over how two such worthless pieces of shit got to be famous?

Herpes on the Red Carpet

Well wonder no more!

Now you too can set aside shame, decency, and personal values to become a media whore of your own, thanks to my new book...

Whoring Yourself for Fun and Profit FOR DUMBASSES Book

With the advice found inside, you too can become a media sensation with absolutely no talent or brains at all. Just follow the simple instructions, and you'll be whoring your way into the spotlight in no time!

So what are you waiting for? Turn your useless life into cash by ordering your copy of Whoring Yourself for Fun & Profit for Dumbasses today! What have you got to lose?*


*Except your dignity, pride, and self-respect, of course.


  1. Sybil Law says:

    I wish those two would just go away. Maybe drink some funky Kool -Aid or something.

  2. Megan says:

    No! No! Not Spencer and Heidi! Now I have to bleach my retinas.

  3. You’re so awesome, Dave. You say the things we think 🙂

  4. beth says:

    Can I get this on Amazon?

  5. I always giggle when I see his name. He’s such a prat!

  6. yellojkt says:

    I’ve managed to avoid these two so far. I hope I never learn why they are famous.

  7. Ren says:

    I have no idea who those people are. I’m guessing that I’m better off for it.

  8. Muskrat says:

    I don’t know who these peeps are, either, but I still see a need for your new book. I’ll expect you to deliver it in person when you come back in November!

  9. Mary Sue says:

    I saw the photo first and wondered when Barbie and Ken had gone through a redesign.

    Then I looked closer and I think those are real people?

    I don’t have a TV, so I don’t know a lot of these people that I’m apparently supposed to know.

  10. martymankins says:

    I wonder if Spencer or Heidi would ever consider reading your Dumbasses book? Or maybe we would all get our ultimate wish for them to completely fade into obscurity forever.

  11. Patty says:

    I see these people on tv and I’m like ‘what’s the world coming to?’ and it just makes me want to upchuck. I keep asking myself how the world got to this point with these dumb people, dumb shows as I know this is not what life is supposed to be about. Arrgghhhh.

  12. whall says:

    Until this blog entry, I’d never even heard those names. In fact, as far as I know, this entire post is a big conspiracy against me to see if I’d just go along with something I didn’t know about. Everyone’s in on it.

    Which is cool, actually. The fact that I’m important enough for all these people to come together and focus on is nothing short of amazing.

    Thank you. You’ve brightened my day.

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