This weekend I received no less than EIGHT emails from Blogography readers telling me of the "happy" news that Elizabeth Hurley was finally going to marry her long-time millionaire boyfriend, Arun Nayer. It was kind of nice, because everybody tried to break the news as gently as possible, and pass along their condolences.
And, though there is -zero- chance that I would ever end up dating Elizabeth Hurley, it still kind of stung a little bit. The world's most beautiful woman was going to be off the market...
First she's removed of Project Catwalk, and now THIS?!? Not a good month for Elizabeth Hurley stalkers such as myself. But then, just as suddenly as it happened, things started to change when I check my Elizabeth Hurley news feeds...
Liz Hurley has dismissed rumours that she is planning to wed millionaire boyfriend Arun Nayer.
The actress was reportedly spending time looking at possible venues for the ceremony in the English countryside, but Hurley is quick to deny she has any marriage plans.
She said: "It's not true, it's all fiction, fiction. I'm in the country at the moment and I have about 50 helicopters circling overhead, but all I've done it feed the chickens and water the flowers."
And then I get the news that Elizabeth Hurley has been chosen to be the new face for Jordache...
NEW YORK, July 21 /PRNewswire/ -- Jordache will unveil a national advertising campaign featuring model and actress Elizabeth Hurley. Shot by famed photographer Michael Thompson in his NY studio, the campaign features Hurley clad in classic Jordache Jeans, edgy with a whip and the iconic Jordache horse. The first ad will run in national publications beginning in September and will run through the holiday season.
Liz with a whip? Well doesn't that sound delicious! Jordache's web site is all blurred out, but if you dig around the internet, you can find a tiny little picture of what's coming...
Oh yeah. That's the ticket. Add that to the second round of "Got Milk" ads that are starting to hit...
And, of course, there's Elizabeth Hurley's Swedish ads for MQ where we get to hear her utter the words "Swedish Penis Pump"...
And all the world is right again.
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Now, there is a possibility. You should be thinking of treatment for Liz addiction. Or not…
Dave, this doesn’t mean she won’t still want a little Dave on the side. May not be official, but you can still be there for her every need and want that Arunnangbklknafjnjd can’t satisfy.
I doubt many people notice the milk in the milk ad…
I’m happy for you, Dave. While she’s not off the market yet, may I suggest you do something like what that “My Date With Drew” guy did?
Hang in there Dave – there’s still hope!!! After all, what does this Nayer guy have to offer anyway? I mean besides being a millionaire.
Well, obviously the only reason she isn’t madly in love with you is because she hasn’t met you yet.
Heck yeah all is right… she has chickens! You didn’t tell me she had chickens!
I still think you should have been there to pick up the pieces in the wake of the Hugh Grant/Divine Brown scandal. That was a PRIME opportunity, man.
I would be worried. These celebs are always “dening” what they don’t really want you to know. Keep you eye out or she will be off the market forever (or in celebrity time 1-4 years).
I was worried I would open your page today and see poor Cartoon Dave committing Seppeku.
Beautiful nude pictue of her.
Btw, what is Swedish Penis Pump?
You do know what happens now that you’ve written “Swedish Penis Pump” on your blog? You’re going to have to design one and sell it alongside your tee’s 🙂
Isn’t the “Penis Pump” something Austin Powers invented? It’s not as if all of us in Sweden have one in the bedside drawer – honestly!
I felt the same way when I heard about Avril Lavigne’s wedding.
It’s gonna happen someday, my friend. Someday you’re going to have to face up to the reality that she may not wait for you forever. Someday you’re going to have to drag yourself up off that floor of yours, take a shower, shave, and pluck those eyebrows of yours.
I think she was staring at you in the Got Milk ad.
Just remember Dave, time heals all…
and I feel your pain…
That’s the best I can do to console you…the cliche’s have run out…
Although, I’m wondering if, since she’s not YET married, you might STILL have a chance…
hey, she might get divorced again. keep your chin up. 😉
Awww… Poor Dave. That’s simply no good at all. I guess you’ve gotta find a new object of your affection! Good luck with that.
Those pics of Hurley are delicious, except for the milk ad…weird, ain’t it?
I recently saw a really strange movie starring Liz, “Method.” I fell asleep and missed the end, but her character seemed to be a murderess. Are you familiar with this movie?