Blogography Logo
spacer

  Home  

Fiction

Posted on Monday, July 24th, 2006

Dave!This weekend I received no less than EIGHT emails from Blogography readers telling me of the "happy" news that Elizabeth Hurley was finally going to marry her long-time millionaire boyfriend, Arun Nayer. It was kind of nice, because everybody tried to break the news as gently as possible, and pass along their condolences.

And, though there is -zero- chance that I would ever end up dating Elizabeth Hurley, it still kind of stung a little bit. The world's most beautiful woman was going to be off the market...

Liznaked

First she's removed of Project Catwalk, and now THIS?!? Not a good month for Elizabeth Hurley stalkers such as myself. But then, just as suddenly as it happened, things started to change when I check my Elizabeth Hurley news feeds...

Liz Hurley has dismissed rumours that she is planning to wed millionaire boyfriend Arun Nayer.
   
The actress was reportedly spending time looking at possible venues for the ceremony in the English countryside, but Hurley is quick to deny she has any marriage plans.
   
She said: "It's not true, it's all fiction, fiction. I'm in the country at the moment and I have about 50 helicopters circling overhead, but all I've done it feed the chickens and water the flowers."

And then I get the news that Elizabeth Hurley has been chosen to be the new face for Jordache...

NEW YORK, July 21 /PRNewswire/ -- Jordache will unveil a national advertising campaign featuring model and actress Elizabeth Hurley. Shot by famed photographer Michael Thompson in his NY studio, the campaign features Hurley clad in classic Jordache Jeans, edgy with a whip and the iconic Jordache horse. The first ad will run in national publications beginning in September and will run through the holiday season.

Liz with a whip? Well doesn't that sound delicious! Jordache's web site is all blurred out, but if you dig around the internet, you can find a tiny little picture of what's coming...

Lizjordache

Oh yeah. That's the ticket. Add that to the second round of "Got Milk" ads that are starting to hit...

Lizmilk2

And, of course, there's Elizabeth Hurley's Swedish ads for MQ where we get to hear her utter the words "Swedish Penis Pump"...

Lizsweden

And all the world is right again.


Categories: Elizabeth HurleyClick To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Laurence says:

    Now, there is a possibility. You should be thinking of treatment for Liz addiction. Or not…

  2. Kevin says:

    Dave, this doesn’t mean she won’t still want a little Dave on the side. May not be official, but you can still be there for her every need and want that Arunnangbklknafjnjd can’t satisfy.

  3. James says:

    I doubt many people notice the milk in the milk ad…

  4. Firda says:

    I’m happy for you, Dave. While she’s not off the market yet, may I suggest you do something like what that “My Date With Drew” guy did?

  5. Jeff says:

    Hang in there Dave – there’s still hope!!! After all, what does this Nayer guy have to offer anyway? I mean besides being a millionaire.

  6. Rabbit says:

    Well, obviously the only reason she isn’t madly in love with you is because she hasn’t met you yet.

  7. Juli says:

    Heck yeah all is right… she has chickens! You didn’t tell me she had chickens!

  8. Belinda says:

    I still think you should have been there to pick up the pieces in the wake of the Hugh Grant/Divine Brown scandal. That was a PRIME opportunity, man.

  9. apricoco says:

    I would be worried. These celebs are always “dening” what they don’t really want you to know. Keep you eye out or she will be off the market forever (or in celebrity time 1-4 years).

  10. YAY!!!

    I was worried I would open your page today and see poor Cartoon Dave committing Seppeku.

  11. EDDIE says:

    Beautiful nude pictue of her.
    Btw, what is Swedish Penis Pump?

  12. Patrick says:

    You do know what happens now that you’ve written “Swedish Penis Pump” on your blog? You’re going to have to design one and sell it alongside your tee’s :)

    Isn’t the “Penis Pump” something Austin Powers invented? It’s not as if all of us in Sweden have one in the bedside drawer – honestly!

  13. Avitable says:

    I felt the same way when I heard about Avril Lavigne’s wedding.

  14. Pauly D says:

    It’s gonna happen someday, my friend. Someday you’re going to have to face up to the reality that she may not wait for you forever. Someday you’re going to have to drag yourself up off that floor of yours, take a shower, shave, and pluck those eyebrows of yours.

    Someday.

    SOMEDAY.

  15. sandra says:

    I think she was staring at you in the Got Milk ad.

  16. Randy says:

    Just remember Dave, time heals all…

    and I feel your pain…

    That’s the best I can do to console you…the cliche’s have run out…

    Although, I’m wondering if, since she’s not YET married, you might STILL have a chance…

  17. ms. sizzle says:

    hey, she might get divorced again. keep your chin up. ;)

  18. NetChick says:

    Awww… Poor Dave. That’s simply no good at all. I guess you’ve gotta find a new object of your affection! Good luck with that.

  19. Those pics of Hurley are delicious, except for the milk ad…weird, ain’t it?

  20. SJ says:

    I recently saw a really strange movie starring Liz, “Method.” I fell asleep and missed the end, but her character seemed to be a murderess. Are you familiar with this movie?

Add a Comment

Blankatar!

   
I love comments! However, all comments are moderated, and won't appear until approved. Are you an abusive troll with nothing to contribute? Don't bother. Selling something? Don't bother. Spam linking? Don't bother.
PLEASE NOTE: My comment-spam protection requires JavaScript... if you have it turned off or are using a mobile device without JavaScript, commenting won't work. Sorry.




   


   


   
   
   
Your personal information is optional. Email addresses are never shown, and are only used by me if a public reply would be too personal or inappropriate here. The URL link to your web site or blog will be provided, so only fill this in if you want people to visit!



   

  Home  

spacer
Welcome:
Blogography is a place to learn and grow by exposing yourself to the mind of David Simmer II, a brilliant commentator on world events and popular culture (or so he claims).
Dave FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions
Dave Flickr Gallery:
Dave Contact:
dave@blogography.com
Blogography Webfeeds:
Entries Feed
Comments Feed
Dave Social:
Blogography Tumblr
Blogography Instagram
Blogography on Pinterest
translate me
lost & found
Search Blogography:
thrice fiction
Thrice Fiction Magazine - March, 2011 - THE END
I'm co-founder of Thrice Fiction magazine. Come check us out!
free iphone app
Ask Dave iPhone App
Put Dave in your pocket with this FREE app for iPhone and iPod Touch. All life's answers await you with the Ask Dave app!
hard rock moment
Visit DaveCafe for my Hard Rock Cafe travel journal!
travel picto-gram
Visit my travel map to see where I have been in this world!
badgemania
Blogography Badge
Atom Syndicate Badge
Comments Syndicate Badge
Apple Safari Badge
Pirate's Booty Badge
Macintosh Badge
license
All content copyright ©2003-2017
by David Simmer II
   
Creative Commons License
This weblog is licensed under
a Creative Commons License.
ssl security
Comodo SSL