1. Who is your favorite celebrity? Elizabeth Hurley... I keep waiting for my obsession with her to die, but it just won't!

2. Who is your least favorite? David Caruso... I've not liked a single thing he has ever done. His current attempt at "acting" on CSI:Miami is an embarrassing imitation of the much cooler William Petersen on the real CSI show. Every time he tries to whip out one of those clever one-liners that Petersen manages so well, he ends up looking like an idiot... I suppose it was too much to expect that an "actor" of his caliber would bother to invent his own character.

3. Have you ever met or seen any celebrities in real life? I've seen my share... Daphne Zuniga, Tom Skerritt, Mariah Carey, Scott Plank, Douglas Adams, Anne Rice, William Gibson. Uh... you didn't mean famous celebrities did you?

4. Would you want to be famous? Okay! Why or why not? I'd have a better chance of meeting Elizabeth Hurley!

5. If you had to trade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why? Colin Farrell. He leads just the sort of depraved lifestyle I wish I could afford to have!

1. What was the last TV show you watched? C.S.I. Crime Scene Investigation last night.

2. What was the last thing you complained about? Just five minutes ago I was bitching about having to work this weekend.

3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say? My friend Meagan... she had sent me a snapshot of a new piece of art she had created, so I e-mailed her back and said that it looked fantastic, which it did. (Meagan is responsible for the little pictures of me sprinkled around this web site, thanks to her home-made Photo Embarassment Booth).

4. What was the last thing you threw away? A color laser print of a design that didn't seem to want to print out quite they way it was supposed to (thank you Adobe Illustrator 10!).

5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited? I was reading Watch With Kristin over at E! Online in hopes that there would be info on the Buffy season finale.

1. Name one song you hate to admit you like. Right now that would be the ABBA cover of SuperTrouper by the A-Teens.

2. Name two songs that always make you cry. Well, I don't cry much, but two songs that have an emotional impact on me are Don't Answer Me by The Alan Parson's Project and Storm on the Sea by The Thompson Twins.

3. Name three songs that turn you on. You've Got a Way by Shania Twain, The Love Thieves by Depeche Mode, and If You Were Here by The Thompson Twins.

4. Name four songs that always make you feel good. Hmmm... maybe Barbie Girl by Aqua, So Young by The Corrs, Steal My Sunshine by Len, and Ask by The Smiths.

5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without. Let's go with I Wish I Cared by a-ha, Take Me Away by Babble, Everything Counts (Live) by Depeche Mode, Get the Message by Electronic, and Miracle by Jon Bon Jovi.

1. Would you consider yourself an organized person? A little bit, sure. Why or why not? If I weren't somewhat organized, my work would be pretty difficult!

2. Do you keep some type of planner, organizer, calendar, etc. with you, and do you use it regularly? My PowerBook has all that on it, and it's with me most of the time, so I guess the answer would be yes.

3. Would you say that your desk is organized right now? Not really, but I am in the middle of a big project, so things are in disarray. After a project has been completed, I'll take some time to clean it up again.

4. Do you alphabetize CDs, books, and DVDs, or does it not matter? I absolutely do!

5. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to organize? Photographs from my travels over the years. It got out of hand, and now it's almost impossible to get them in order. Fortunately, I now have a digital camera and use the excellent iPhoto on my Macs to keep things straight.

1. What drinking water do you prefer -- tap, bottle, purifier, etc.? The tap water where I live is chlorinated, which I hate, so I always buy whatever jug drinking water is on sale at the grocery store. At work I usually purchase flats of "Kirkland" water from Costco to drink.

2. What are your favourite flavor of chips? I try to stay away from chips because I'm trying to limit the amount of hydrogenated fats I consume... but when I must have a chip, it's usually Sun Chips Regular. My favorite snack that's not a chip remains Pirate's Booty, which I will gladly eat over any other snack food.

3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most? I like the enchiladas I make. They are based on a recipe my grandmother gave me, but I use rice instead of burger meat.

4. How do you have your eggs? Creamed into mayonnaise, which I will eat on most anything. On the rare occasion that I eat eggs, they are usually scrambled.

5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out? The cook at Denny's. I had the Boca Burger which is always excellent (unfortunately, the fries were not very crispy this time around, however).

1. What brand of toothpaste do you use? I change toothpaste every time I buy it, as I am always looking for the latest and greatest in tooth-care technology! Right now I have a tube of Colgate Extra Whitening that I'm finishing up, and the next tube up is AquaFresh Extreme Clean (it foams!).

2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer? Whatever is on sale. I don't really put much thought into something that's going to be wiping my ass (but perhaps I should be?).

3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear? Nike. This is the only brand I've found that have an arch my feet can be comfortable with. I wish they made inline skates.

4. What brand of soda do you drink? I don't touch the stuff. I limit the amount of crap I consume in a day, and there are far better ways to enjoy useless calories than soda pop.

5. What brand of gum do you chew? I am not a big "gum chewer" but, when I do indulge, it is usually Juicyfruit because it's always easy to find. I prefer natural gums, like Speakeasy, but it's hard to find them anywhere.

1. What do you most want to be remembered for? Always taking responsibility for my actions.

2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life? "No matter where you go... there you are." from the movie Buckaroo Banzai.

3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year? Deciding to once again do those things I used to enjoy, but gave up to make other people happy.

4. What about the past ten years? The same... it's taken me ten years to get to this point!

5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say? Always remember that everything you do has consequences, so make sure you can live with the decisions you make before you act.

1. How many times have you truly been in love? Once.

2. What was/is so great about the person you love(d) the most? She pushed boundaries I didn't know I had, was happy with me the way I was, and opened my mind to new ways of thinking about things. Too bad she ended up being a psychotic, sadistic asshole in the end.

4. Have you ever broken someone's heart? Probably.

5. If there was one thing you could teach people about love, what would it be? In order for love to work, you have to give it everything you have. Doing so, however, can be very dangerous, so make sure you love yourself enough to survive it if things don't work out.

1. What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have? Become fluent in Japanese. Just when I really get into it, I realize that I don't have anybody to actually talk to, so I abandon my studies until my next trip to Japan (and forget just about everything I have learned in the meanwhile).

2. When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest? No.

3. Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn't? Yes. What happened? I've kept it a secret, even from them. Some things really are better left unsaid.

4. If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why? The movie Total Recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger had an interesting take on the near-future that has never left me since I first watched it. Maybe it's the girl-on-girl fight action (with Sharon Stone no less!) that made such an impression, but they sure made the future seem a nifty place to live.

5. What's one talent/skill you don't have but always wanted? I love languages, and wish I had more of a talent for learning them.

1. Is your hair naturally curly, wavy, or straight? Straight. Long or short? Very short (how can your hair be naturally short?).

2. How has your hair changed over your lifetime? There's not as much of it as there used to be.

3. How do your normally wear your hair? Chopped off and completely messed up. It's been that way pretty much since birth (if you excuse my hippie-length locks as a freshman in high school and a tragic hair experiment gone wrong earlier in life... see question #5).

4. If you could change your hair this minute, what would it look like? I don't really care enough to think about it.

5. Ever had a hair disaster? Once. What happened? When I was in Middle School, a girl I liked suggested I should get a perm (hey, they were cool at the time!). After looking like Shirley Temple for a month, I never gave a crap about my hair again, because it could never look that bad even if I did nothing to it (and so I don't).

1. How are you planning to spend the summer? Riding my new motorcycle.

2. What was your first summer job? Picking cherries (to this day I have not been able to eat cherries, after getting sick on them all those years ago!).

3. If you could go anywhere this summer, where would you go? Australia and New Zealand. I was planning to go this summer, but cancelled so that I could afford the down-payment on my new motorcycle. I still hope to go next year.

4. What was your worst vacation ever? I can't recall ever having a bad vacation!

5. What was your best vacation ever? I've been very fortunate to have gone so many wonderful places but, if forced to choose, I'd have to say the trip I took to Thailand with my brother was the best vacation I've ever had. It was a life-changing trip that still affects me even today.

1. What were your favorite childhood stories? Anything to do with mystery and/or magic.

2. What books from your childhood would you like to share with [your] children? There were a number of worthy books I remember enjoying as a kid... The Secret Seven and The Fabulous Five series by Enid Blyton; The Encyclopedia Brown series by Donald J. Sobol; and the Half Magic series by Edward Eager to name a few.

3. Have you re-read any of those childhood stories and been surprised by anything? Just at how well they hold up for entertainment value over time. Especially the Curious George books, which are just as fun now as when I was a kid!

4. How old were you when you first learned to read? In kindergarten.

5. Do you remember the first 'grown-up' book you read? I had read a kid's book on Greek mythology while in grade school and was hungry for more, but the school library didn't have any other books on the subject. My mom took me to the public library where all I found was a more "adult" mythology books, so I checked them out instead. I remember it being a heck of a struggle to make it through those books, but the payoff was well worth the effort.How old were you? I have no idea... the 4th grade maybe?

1. Do you remember your first best friend? Of course.

2. Are you still in touch with this person? Not really. We see each other on the street from time to time, but have long since outgrown the things we had in common that made us such good friends.

3. Do you have a current close friend? Sure.

4. How did you become friends with this person? They were a friend to other friends I had at the time.

5. Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Absolutely. Why? He died far too young.

1. When was the last time you cheated? After thinking for a bit, I can honestly say I don't know... so it must have been quite a while ago. I firmly believe that cheating only harms yourself, and that if you must cheat to get through life, it's probably worth your time to figure out why that is (and even more important, what you can do to change it).

2. When was the last time you stole? That I can recall, I have never stolen anything. I guess I was raised right? In any event, stealing brings harm to another person, which is something I will avoid at all costs.

3. When was the last time you lied? In general, I find that life is much simpler when you do not lie, but not so long ago, I did not tell the full truth in order to spare somebody's feelings (which I suppose it as good as lying).

4. When was the last time you broke or vandalized another's property? That I know of, I have never intentionally done either, but I'm sure there have been times I've accidentally broke something belonging to another.

5. When was the last time you hurt a loved one? This is yet another thing I strive to avoid, as my spiritual beliefs are such that bringing harm to another person is a grave offense. That being said, I have brought harm to somebody when I thought it would save them from even greater harm.

1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be? Let's go with Being Dave Malkovich.

2. What songs would be on the soundtrack? I love the soundtrack for the film About a Boy (by Badly Drawn Boy), and think it would be a good swipe for the movie of my life. As for the musical score on my film, it would have to be by master film scorer Eric Serra (The Big Blue, The Fifth Element, Goldeneye) or Vangellis (Chariots of Fire, Bladerunner).

3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Does it really make a difference now-a-days? Why? Computer special effects are so advanced now it might as well be live-action! Of course, if Hayao Miyazaki wanted to animate my life's story, I would absolutely not complain.

4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc? As long as I could play myself, and my girlfriend was played by Elizabeth Hurley, I wouldn't care who else was in the movie.

5.Describe the movie preview/trailer. I can't even guess... but there should be a lot of explosions.

1. What time do you wake up on weekday mornings? Between 6 and 6:30am.

2. Do you sleep in on the weekends? Rarely. How late? When I do "sleep in," it's never later than 9:30am.

3. Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning? Put on my glasses, then grab my PowerBook so I can check e-mail and see what's new in the world.

4. How long does it take to get ready for your day? If I bypass my PowerBook routine in the morning, it takes me about 15 minutes to get cleaned up and dressed.

5. When possible, what is your favorite place to go for breakfast? Nothing beats a good bagel with cream cheese for breakfast, and the best bagels in the world are in New York City.

1. What's the last place you traveled to, outside your own home state/country? State: Wisconsin. Country: England.

2. What's the most bizarre/unusual thing that's ever happened to you while traveling? I have literally hundreds of bizarre stories I could tell, because I travel quite a lot. If forced to pick one, I'd have to say the time I got interrogated on the train out of Germany by border guards because of a Steiff Teddy Bear I bought for my mother is near the top of my list!

3. If you could take off to anywhere, money and time being no object, where would you go? I am a real travel bargain hunter, so money isn't really the problem... it's always time. So, if I were given unlimited time and had to spend it in one place, I would probably choose to explore Italy. The art and architecture of this amazing country completely mesmerizes me, and it would be easy to spend a few years there taking it all in.

4. Do you prefer traveling by plane, train or car? Motorcycle. But since that's not a choice, I guess I'd have to say train.

5. What's the next place on your list to visit? This Sunday I take off to L.A. for work, but if you're talking about personal travel, I hope to visit Spain and Portugal this winter.

1. How much time do you spend online each day? My home and work computers are connected to the internet 24/7, and always getting information that's fed to various apps and data sources... so I guess you could say that I am online constantly. If you mean general surfing/e-mail type stuff, that's probably about 2-4 hours off-and-on in a day (and that time is going down, because I'd rather be riding my motorcycle than surfing!).

2. What is your browser homepage set to? Google (though my windows open to a blank page, since Apple's Safari web browser has a Google bar built in.

3. Do you use any instant messaging programs? Yes. If so, which one(s)? Once you've used Apple's iChat A/V there's just no going back to any other IM software.

4. Where was your first webpage located? CompuServe (well, it was kind of a web page... more like an information page... but that's as close as you could get back in 1984!).

5. How long have you had your current website? DaveWeb has been around in one form or another since 1992 (but the domain "DaveWeb.com" wasn't registered until 1997, which is when I decided to use it as the name of my graphic design business and apply for a trademark).

1. When was the last time you laughed? Just now when I read how inane this week's questions were.

2. Who was the last person you had an argument with? An idiot telemarketer who would not take "no" for an answer.

3. Who was the last person you e-mailed? Me! Last night I came across a great deal and wanted to be sure I would remember it, so I e-mailed it to myself.

4. When was the last time you bathed? I take a shower every day...I can't remember the last bath I had.

5. What was the last thing you ate? Dinner... two Hawaiian sweet bread buns with Spanish rice and cheddar cheese in-between.

1. Are you going to school this year? Uhhhh... no.

2. If yes, where are you going (high school, college, etc.)? If no, when did you graduate? 1984.

3. What are/were your favorite school subjects? School was pretty boring because the classes all seemed so rudimentary. The only "classes" I enjoyed were my advanced independent studies, where I could study what interested me.

4. What are/were your least favorite school subjects? I enjoyed home economics least of all.

5. Have you ever had a favorite teacher? Why was he/she a favorite? I was blessed to have a series of incredible elementary teachers... Kindergarten: Mrs. Beck, 1st: Mrs. Jones, 2nd: Mrs. Green, 3rd: Mrs. Cummings, 4th: Mr. Rogers. Middle School was a complete boring waste of time that killed my desire to ever go to school again but, when I got to High School, Mr. Brooks renewed my love of mathematics and learning in general, so I guess he'd get the top spot.

Since the Friday Five has been pretty lame lately, I've noticed a few other Fivers have turned to the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire, made famous by James Lipton on his show Inside the Actor's Studio.

What is your favorite word? "Frotz." It was the magical spell of light from the old Infocom game "Enchanter" (and its equally excellent sequels, "Sorcerer" and "Spellbreaker"). To this day I still love the sound of it (yeah, I'm a geek... get over it). If you need a real word, it would have to be "malaria" I watched a movie once where a character had said that "malaria was the most beautiful word in the English language" and, after thinking about it for a minute, I had to agree (though I think the word is actually of Italian origin). If anybody remembers the name of that movie, let me know.

What is your least favorite word? "Empowerment." It sums up everything I hate about all those sappy motivational "empowerment" posters that are supposed to make you fall in love with the idea of idiotic corporate buzzwords like "Teamwork," "Perseverance" and "Commitment." Every time I see one these laughable prints, I want to gag and then crap on it (the parodies, however, are priceless!). If employees were truly empowered, they wouldn't need a poster to tell them about it.

What turns you on? Literally, Elizabeth Hurley... I cannot get past my obsession with her. Figuratively, kindness turns me on. It is so easy to be cruel, hurtful, or destructive... but stumbling across true acts of kindness reaffirms my faith in humanity and turns me on to our possibilities.

What sound do you love? Elizabeth Hurley saying anything in that kickin' English accent of hers. Sometimes while I am working, I'll put on her movie Bedazzled for background noise (which is stupid, because I'll just end up watching the film again and not get any work done at all, but hey... it's not like anyone ever gets tired of watching her, even in mediocre and predictable films like this).

What sound do you hate? Honking horns and train whistles... particularly in the middle of the night when I am trying to get some sleep.

What is your favorite curse word? Muthaf#@%er. I truly wish it wasn't but, whenever the shit hits the fan, that's the word that pops out of my mouth.

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? Translator. I love words and languages, and it would be pretty cool to have a career that would allow me to travel the world, meet new people, experience new cultures, and learn new languages.

What profession would you not like to participate in? Politician. I'd rather die than be associated with the slimy crack-heads that seem to litter the American Political machine.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Took you long enough, bitch! (I'd like to think that god has some street cred to him).

1. What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most? Ironing. I am incapable of ironing a shirt, and it always ends up looking more wrinkled than when I started.

2. Are there any that you like or don't mind doing? Not really.

3. Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it's needed? When needed.

4. Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules? DVDs must be kept in alphabetical order.

5. What was the last thing you cleaned? The glass on my television.

1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed? Same name... "David Simmer II," though I usually leave off the "II" at the end for day-to-day use.

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be? I had changed my name for some comic book work I did to "Maach Allon Dyson," but wouldn't change it to that permanently.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?) I was named after my father, but my parents didn't want me to be "Junior" so that's how I got "II" after my name.

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why? I like the name Emily quite a lot for a woman, but don't know why.

5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com/triggur.org/astroexpert accurate? How or how isn't it? The kabalarians.com analysis is laughably inaccurate for the most part...

Your first name of David has given you a very practical, hard-working, systematic nature (well that's true). Your interests are focused on technical, mechanical, and scientific things (also true), to the exclusion of interests of an artistic, musical, or social nature (load of crap... I am an artist for a living and love social interaction!). You have a rather skeptical outlook on life and rather materialistic standards (not really... I study Buddhist teachings which is the exact opposite of this). In reaching your goals, you are very independent and resourceful, patient and determined (as my friends will tell you, I am one of the most IMPATIENT people on earth!). You can be so very positive and definite in your own ideas and opinions that others sense a lack of tact and friendliness in your manner of expression (not really... I strive very hard to see other people's opinions, which comes from all the foreign travel I take). You are inclined to be rather demanding and self-centred in your personal wants, and your own desires can be so overriding that you fail to recognize or appreciate the feelings, opinions, or desires of others (not me at all... in fact, this goes against much of what I stand for). As a consequence, difficulties in relations within the family or with close associates can arise (whatever).

Given how bad that analysis is, I think I'll skip the other two.

1. Who is your favorite singer/musician? After all these years, I still love Depeche Mode's music above all others. Why? At a time when I was going through a very difficult period, DM's music made my life a little better.

2. What one singer/musician can you not stand? There are so many... most of them country, but I think Garth Brooks is at the top of the list. Why? I hate that twangy crap, and Garth Brooks' popularity made life unbearable for several years a while back.

3. If your favorite singer wasn't in the music business, do you think you would still like him/her as a person? I have seen Depeche Mode in concert a few times, but don't know any of them personally, so I couldn't say.

4. Have you been to any concerts? Many. If yes, who put on the best show? Unquestionably the best concert I have ever seen was Depeche Mode's 101 tour. It was amazing in every way, and sounded better live than most bands sound in a studio. Fortunately, they released the concert on video AND released the soundtrack, so I can re-live the experience whenever I want.

5. What are your thoughts on downloading free music online vs. purchasing albums? Do you feel the RIAA is right in its pursuit to stop people from dowloading free music? I feel that artists deserve to be paid for their work. If they can't make a living at it, then how will they be able to make more music? But the RIAA is full of crap for going after music traders... it's the wrong approach, and they should solve the problem by offering a better solution than stealing. I try to own all the music I listen to, but sometimes it is just not possible, so I find a source to download it. For instance, if I want the album "Living in the Background" by Baltimora, but there is no way to buy it... it's long out of print, and I can't even order it. All I can do is pay $100 to somebody on eBay (of which -$0- goes to the artist) which is absurd (especially since they probably just ripped an MP3 from it before they sold it anyway!). If record companies made their entire libraries available for digital download at a reasonable price, I think that music theft would drop dramatically. But, being the greedy, controlling, bastards they are... they'd rather have the RIAA do their dirty work and go after people who don't really have much choice than to steal tunes they can't buy.

1. What vehicle do you drive? A 2003 BMW F650-GS motorcycle (though I will be driving my 1999 Saturn SC-2 once the weather turns to snow).

2. How long have you had it? The motorcycle since June of this year (about 3-1/2 months), the car for just over 4 years now.

3. What is the coolest feature on your vehicle? Well, everything is cool about my motorcycle... but if forced to choose right now, I'd have to say the heated hand grips (as it's getting pretty cold, especially in the mornings). As for my car, I'd have to say it's best feature is reliability (I have not had a single problem with it since I bought it).

4. What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle? For my motorcycle, I'd have to say the fact that I won't be able to ride it in the winter is annoying (well, I could ride it, but I wouldn't feel at all safe doing so). The Saturn SC-2 has a few annoyances: 1) The sun visors don't extend into the gap above the rear-view mirror (stupid). 2) It has a turning radius of a semi-truck with two trailers (you make a LOT of 3-point turns with this car). 3) There is no way to turn off the freakin' car alarm if you don't have the key fob... even if you have an actual key (really stupid). 4) The side mirror for the passenger is electronically controlled, but the driver's mirror is manual (and a tough reach... even with long arms like mine). 5) The seats should be more adjustable for taller people like me (hey, I understand Japanese cars not really "fitting" us giant gai-jin, but Saturns are made in America!).

5. If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now? Well, for my motorcycle, I am driving my dream machine right now (though, it's still new, so if you ask me again next year that may change! Heaven only knows I've been dreaming of Ducati and Harleys most of my life!). As for my car... that's tough. Probably a BMW Z4 Roadster 3.0i. Or maybe a Porsche Carrera GT (though I wouldn't refuse a 911 Turbo!). Then there's the Jaguar X-Type that I've liked for a very long time. And if we're talking vintage, there's always the 1967 Corvette 427 (and I wouldn't care if it was the Coupe or the Big Block Roadster!). Ack! I haven't even got to the Alfa Romeo 156 GTA or the Audi TT! The list goes on and on... I love the artistic lines of a great sports car, but if I ever were insane enough to sell everything I own (and go into debt for the rest of my life) to own one... I'd probably be too paranoid to ever drive it anywhere. That's why I stick with cars like my Saturn. Sure I would be upset if somebody plowed into it, but I wouldn't be devastated the way I would if I had my dream car. Motorcycles are a little different, because the risk of driving one is so much higher than a car in the first place that I figured I might as well go for that BMW I've wanted for the past 14 years!!

1. Do you watch sports? Not really. If so, which ones? Does "The Amazing Race" count?

2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes? If forced to choose, I'd have to say the Seattle Mariners are about as close as I can get to having a favorite sports team (when they're playing well, that is). As for athletes... gee, there are so many good role models out there right now... where do I start?

3. Are there any sports you hate? Most all of them... but "professional" wrestling would have to be the bottom of the barrel as far as I'm concerned.

4. Have you ever been to a sports event? In high school, I went to a lot of events. After that, not so much. I've been to a dozen or so Seattle games in baseball, football and basketball.

5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play? In middle school I was in basketball for one season, in high school I was in track & field for two seasons. I enjoyed it well enough, but have weak ankles that made it difficult to continue on.

1. Name five things in your refrigerator. King's Hawaiian Sweet Bread hamburger buns, bottled water, Hunts ketchup, Best Foods mayonnaise (known as "Hellmann's" to you on the East Coast), and Diane's extra thin corn tortillas.

2. Name five things in your freezer. Schwan's Quick Fries, Morningstar Farms meatless sausage patties, American Classic Boca Burgers, Quincy frozen corn, and a box of orange, cherry, and grape Popsicle brand popsicles.

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink. Rubbermaid plastic garbage can, aluminum can recycling bag, Windex cleaner, Fantastic all-purpose cleaner, and a dish sponge.

4. Name five things around your computer. Eric Meyer on CSS book, my iPod, a Hard Rock Las Vegas Hotel & Casino plastic gambling cup (filled with spare change), a spindle of Sony CD-R media, and the keys to my BMW F650-GS motorcycle.

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet. AquaFresh Extreme Clean toothpaste, AcuVue disposable contact lenses, Johnson & Johnson cinnamon-flavored waxed dental floss, American Crew pomade, and Philosophy "Hope in a Jar" moisturizer (amazing, amazing stuff... my friend Mary recommended it when I noticed my face drying out after rides on my motorcycle this summer).

1. What was your first Halloween costume? I have no clue... undoubtedly it was embarassing, like a bunny or something when I was a baby.

2. What was your best costume and why? A vampire. It was around the time that the "Interview with a Vampire" film was released, and I went for broke and got some really impressive teeth and contact lenses to add to the makeup and clothing... it was my best costume because it was by far my most expensive ever.

3. Did you ever play a trick on someone who didn't give you a treat? Kind of... a teacher in High School stuck us with a surprise test on Halloween, so we toilet-papered their house that night.

4. Do you have any Halloween traditions? (ie: Family pumpkin carving, special dinner before trick or treating, etc.) When I was younger, it was a big deal each year for my mom to dress me and my brother up and take us out for a trick-or-treating spree.

5. Share your favorite scary story...real or legend! This is a true story: we still have another year left of the George Bush presidency! The end.

1. What food do you like that most people hate? Tofu.

2. What food do you hate that most people love? Coffee and anything coffee flavored.

3. What famous person, whom many people may find attractive, is most unappealing to you? Laura Flynn Boyle (Holy crap! Eat a cookie, woman!).

4. What famous person, whom many people may find unappealing, do you find attractive? Marge Simpson (don't ask me why).

5. What popular trend baffles you? Country music.

1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space. Oridinary.

2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer. Demanding. Unrealistic.

3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pastime. Liberating. Exciting. Consuming.

4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day. Routine. Exhausting. Long. Stressful.

5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life. Fulfilling. Helpful. Comfortable. Worthy. Healthy.

1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year. The year is almost over, and I am traveling for most of it, so there isn't much time left for accomplishing much at all. So I suppose that just surviving the year would be enough for me.

2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again. I could easily come up with five people I'd like to hear from again but, out of respect for their privacy, I won't list their names here.

3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do. Motorcycle repair. Speak Japanese. Write a novel. Program in ActionScript. Illustrate on scratchboard.

4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit). No limit AT ALL?!? Hmmm... starting small here: Ensure a comfortable future for my family and friends. Give an Apple Macintosh computer to every person I meet. See to it that no child ever goes hungry and has a safe place to sleep. Never work for money again. See the world.

5. List five things you do that help you relax. Watch my Tivo DVR recording of the day's Ellen Degeneres show. Listen to my music collection on my iPod. Read an Edgar Rice Burroughs novel. Leave the country. Draw.

1. Do you like to shop? No. Why or why not? Because all of the stuff I need to buy I can get without all the hassle by purchasing online (and even that is more effort than I want to make). On top of that, anything I would really want to shop for is too expensive for me to actually buy, which is no fun at all (though, looking can be fun when it's electronics, motorcycles, or car).

2. What was the last thing you purchased? A news suitcase. My old one, which I love, is starting to fall apart a bit (in its defense, the poor thing has been around the world several times).

3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Online. Why? It saves time and money.

4. Did you get an allowance as a child? Sure. How much was it? I haven't a clue... I suppose it depended on how many chores I completed that week/month.

5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing? My piece of crap Panasonic DVD Recorder... it was a lemon right out of the box, took Panasonic a month to fix, and should really be much better than it is for the money I spent. Every day I regret not buying one from Sony or Pioneer. I will never, ever buy anything from the crap factory of Panasonic again.

1. Do you enjoy the cold weather and snow for the holidays? Hell no. You can't ride a motorcycle in the snow and I couldn't give a crap about the holidays.

2. What is your ideal holiday celebration? Getting drunk at a strip club. How, where, with whom would you celebrate to make things perfect? A strip club in Maui with Elizabeth Hurley and a bottle of Jägermeister would be good.

3. Do you do have any holiday traditions? No. Well, dinner at grandma's house.

4. Do you do anything to help the needy? Sometimes.

5. What one gift would you like for yourself? World peace. And I'm not kidding about that.

1. List your five favorite beverages. Water. Suntory Fruits Party and Suntory Orange (from Japan). A&W Root Beer. Jägermeister. Yoohoo.

2. List your five favorite websites. Maddox. The Onion. Exploding Dog. Gizmodo. Ze Frank.

3. List your five favorite snack foods. Meiji Karl (Curl) chips (Original Corn Flavor). Pirate's Booty. Pocky (Almond Crush Flavor). U-No Chocolate Bars. Botan Ame Rice Candy.

4. List your five favorite board and/or card games. Canasta. Sequence. Cosmic Encounter. Auction. Mille Bornes.

5. List your five favorite computer and/or game system games. Final Fantasy Tactics. Warlords III. Mario Diablo II. WarCraft III. StarCraft.

1. What was your biggest accomplishment this year? Surviving it.

2. What was your biggest disappointment? Having to cancel plans for a trip to Australia yet again.

3. What do you hope the new year brings? Peace.

4. Will you be making any New Year's resolutions? No. If yes, what will they be? If I were into making resolutions, it would probably have something to do with finishing my book.

5. What are your plans for New Year's Eve? To party with some friends.