While watching one of the most awesome episodes of Survivor ever made tonight, I suddenly needed to know what the original line-up of the Kota Tribe was on the show. My laptop was handy, but I had been dying to try out the new "Google App" on my iPhone because it's been new and improved with "voice search functionality." The idea is that you start up the app, then speak the search term you want to look for, and Google will interpret your words and display the search results. Simple, right?

Not so much.

After a couple of failed searches, I started writing down the results I was getting. Despite being in a quiet room with no ambient noise, Google simply could not understand me... no matter how many times I tried or how many ways I tried pronouncing it. Heaven only knows how much worse it would be if you tried using it on a busy street or something.

Google Voice Search: "Kota Tribe"
Contact Ride
Hotel Triton
Xhosa Tribe
Totect Ride
Kotek Tribe
Kotak Tribe
Xhosa Tribe
Result: FAIL!

Google Voice Search: "Survivor Kota Tribe"
Survivor Hotel Triton
Survivor Cook A Tri
Survivor Cook Islands Tribe
Result: FAIL!

Google Voice Search: "Survivor Tribe Kota"
Survivor Tribe Hotel
Result: FAIL!

Google Voice Search: "Survivor Gabon Kota"
Survivor Gabon Coachella
Survivor Gabon Code 10
Survivor Gabon Code
Survivor Gabon Costco
Survivor Gabon Cocktail
Result: FAIL!

Google Voice Search: "Charlie Herschel"
CHARLIE HERSCHEL!
Result: SUCCESS!

Google Voice Search: "Survivor Randy"
SURVIVOR RANDY!
Result: SUCCESS!

Google Voice Search: "Sugar Voted Randy"
Sugar Coated Candy
Result: FAIL!

Google Voice Search: "Sugar Voted for Randy"
Sugar Coated for Randy
Sugar Voted for Tent
Result: FAIL!

Google Voice Search: "Pushing Daisies Cancelled"
PUSHING DAISIES CANCELLED!
Result: SUCCESS!

Google Voice Search: "Blogography"
Blog Argosy
Bloc Party
Blog Ography
Blog Authority
Barbara Griffin
Blockbuster Inc
Result: ULTIMATE FAIL!

We've got a while to go before machines are smart enough to interpret voice commands with an acceptable rate of accuracy. Until then, it's just a novelty that wastes more time than it saves... at least it is in this case. Still, it's a very good idea, and I hope Google improves it over time. If they can get it to work better, it would sure beat having to type on a phone.

This morning I had still more problems with my DSL. It seems every time I turn around my internet is either busted or unbelievably slow. And, of course, Verizon doesn't give a shit. Oh they put on a good show of wanting to provide good service, but it's all a time-wasting sham. I tried calling this morning and got disconnected. I called again and somehow ended up in the mobile wireless department. After 30 minutes of trying to talk to anybody, I had to give up so I could go to work.

I get home tonight and, SURPRISE, internet is still down. So once again I have to call and, basically, waste an hour of my life with my service provider to get things straightened out... kind of... while paying them for the privilege!

It's things like this that drive me insane when the whole "Net Neutrality" debate rears its ugly head...

Not content to merely overcharge their customers for shitty service, ISPs also want to screw them over by controlling what and how they get to experience the internet...

Net Neutrality opponents consider the very idea an affront to free enterprise. I consider it an essential to maintaining my presence on the internet. Because I complain about most everything here on Blogography, and am sure to have pissed off enough corporations that have the money and/or influence to get my blog dumped in the slow lane or banned altogether.

So no more complaining about important net-influential companies, such as major Internet Service Providers like Verizon.

Oops.