You know you're well past your prime when you see an ad which says "How to last longer in bed" and you're like... "I could use more sleep"... then continue reading and be like "Oh. Oh yeah."

Over the weekend I had a trip across the basin to Spokane. The drive is tantamount to torture because it's just hundreds of miles of mostly nothing. But in all honesty I don't really mind all that much. I can listen to music and think about stuff. A rare luxury in my crazy day-to-day life.

Where things took a very, very bad turn for me was about 50 minutes outside of Spokane when my iPhone stopped having data access. Thinking that, yet again, Verizon's shitty service was to blame, I shut down my iPhone and restarted it. Sometimes Verizon botches the cell tower hand-off, and this is the only way to get data working again.

Except it didn't fix anything.

Another power-down and restart. Then another. Then another. Still nothing.

This put me into a bit of a panic because I didn't know which hotel I was staying at. Unlike the good ol' days when I would print out my reservation before travel, now-a-days I rely on the fact that Apple Maps would see I had a hotel reservation from the email confirmation I received and ask me if I wanted to go there when I blew into town.

Not this time.

When I say "I didn't know which hotel I was staying at," that's not 100% the truth. But it might as well have been. I knew I was staying at "The Davenport" but considering there's like... I dunno... ten of the fuckers in Spokane, and all of them are named "The Davenport Autograph Collection" (or what-the-hell ever), I had no idea where I was going.

And so I drove to the one I stayed at the last couple times. I hadn't a clue if it was the correct one, but I assumed they could tell me where to go if I was at the wrong property. But I didn't have to go to that much trouble, because my phone connected to WiFi after I parked. Turns out, yes indeed, I was at the wrong hotel. So I left to drive to the correct one. Except the ticket machine at the garage wanted to make me pay $7.95 for the 5 minutes I was there. Fortunately I was able to explain my predicament to the valet who let me go.

But fate wasn't done with me yet!

Somehow Apple Maps didn't load everything off the internet while I was at the parking garage. Which meant I was, once again, not knowing where to go. Fortunately I've been to Spokane many times and was able to figure it all out, but not after I had to drive around the block to look for the self-park garage entrance.

le sigh

Must have been time for a beer and my favorite pizza on earth...

Don't worry... half of it was road pizza for the drive home the next day

After my early dinner, I was wiped.

But it was only 5:30pm, and I knew better than going to bed so early that I'll be waking up at 2:00am. Not that this would be anything unusual in my declining years, but this time it wouldn't be waking up to go to the bathroom. Probably.