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My Mac, Myself

Posted on Friday, October 28th, 2016

Dave!And so, after months of waiting to upgrade my MacBook, Apple unleashed their latest and greatest pro laptops at a special media event yesterday.

Except they're not. Not really.

They're not the latest or greatest. They're woefully underpowered. Embarrassingly underpowered compared to the cutting edge releases in Windows World laptops. The CPU is a marginal improvement in power and speed over previous models... but who gives a shit about "marginal" in a "pro" machine? The Radeon GPU is borderline ridiculous compared to Nvidia's more powerful mobile chips, so why is Apple using them in a "pro" anything? And memory is still maxing out at 16 gigs, not 32? Seriously? In 2016? I regularly work on files larger than 16 gigs! The idea that these are "pro" laptops is laughable to a humiliating degree for Apple. Remember when a MacBook was the absolute king of laptops? So badass that even Windows developers were buying them? Well, those days are over.

Apple's new not-pro pro MacBook laptop

But, ooh... you get a "TouchBar" at the top of the keyboard! And, ooh... it's really thin!

Two things I could give a flying fuck about. I need... NEED... a beast of a portable machine that will allow me to work at peak performance with spec-crushing apps like Photoshop.

And while it would be nice to have an array of ports to handle all my peripherals without another fucking dongle... or, hell... even being able plug in my fucking iPhone without another fucking dongle... that's not a deal-breaker for me. And while it would be nice to have Apple's MagSafe power port that has saved my laptop from taking a header more than once when I tripped over the power cord... that's not a deal-breaker either.


And giving me this "pro" machine that hasn't got cutting-edge performance IS a deal-breaker.

There is no reason whatsoever for me to trade in my 2012 MacBook Pro Retina for the new machine. Certainly not at the premium price tag Apple has slapped on the high-end 15-inch model (my preferred configuration runs $3099). And certainly not with a bezel on the display that is not even all the way around the screen... what an OCD nightmare.

Which leads to a question for Tim Cook, Jonathan Ive, and everybody else in charge at Apple... What in the fuck am I supposed to do now?

Switch to Windows so I can actually buy the tool I need to get my work done?

The MacBook Pro IS Macintosh. It has been for a while. So does Apple even give a shit that they are essentially killing off the Mac with what has to be the stupidest fucking move they could have made for the pro users who actually buy their OS X shit? I just don't understand. Did nobody working at Apple stop for two fucking seconds to think about what they were doing, then turn to Tim Cook and say "This is not what our pro users are needing"... nobody?

Apparently that's the case, and it speaks volumes as to just how badly Apple has lost their way. From all appearances, they haven't the slightest fucking clue what they're doing with OS X anymore. While this was somewhat apparent when they released their bizarre Mac Pro "tubes" that aren't really built for pro needs... it's deathly apparent with the release of their latest "pro" laptops.

When Steve Jobs died, I was never one of those people saying "Apple is doomed! They will never survive without Steve!" But more and more I'm thinking that I was wrong. Everybody at Apple seems to be obsessed with making things thinner and lighter with no regard whatsoever as to what that actually means to the end-user. Pro power requires a bigger, heavier form-factor to accommodate the chips, ports, and battery required. What good is a super-thin, super-light "pro" laptop if it's not powerful enough to do the job? Does Apple even give a fuck? Or is thin and light truly all they care about, even though it's not the top priority for their customers?

I am one of the biggest Apple Whores you will ever meet. I live and die by their products. A good chunk of my life is defined by their products... the Mac, in particular. Nobody wants to see Apple knock one out of the park more than I do. Nobody wants to spend money to buy the latest Apple laptop more than I do. Nobody loves the Mac more than I do.

And that's the problem.

I love the Mac more than Apple does.

Look where that's gotten us.

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Categories: Apple Stuff 2016Click To It: Permalink


  1. LeSombre says:

    I hear ya!

    I became somewhat of a Mac whore partly because of you, and after this last week’s event (this last weak event?) I felt like I missed the boat on Apple products by a few years. Luckily, my mid-2014 15″ Pro Retina is still going strong, so I don’t have to replace it anytime soon. However, my home mid-2010 iMac is dying, and I’m not sure my next home computer will be a Mac. :-/

  2. martymankins says:

    First off, nice to see a new blog post. I know you’ve been having technical issues, but for those of us that have been reading you for years, it’s been sad not seeing regular posts.

    This Mac announcement has been a mixed bag for sure. I agree with you on this new line up of Pros is not up to Pro level. There are 4 models of the 13″ MacBook Pro, which is seriously confusing and gets even more confusing when you go to configure options.

    If I’m going to go back to using a MacBook Pro after using one for 6 years then using a MacBook 12″, I want Pro. For now, my recently purchased iMac 5K 27″ is my Pro machine for doing the things I used to do for years with an aging MBP 15″

  3. How annoying.. surely they could have both .. a chunky machine for those that need the grunt, and something smaller for those who prefer the smaller form factor. But then, as you say, what is the point of a pro machine if it doesn’t have the grunt.

    Anyways.. welcome back to the blogosphere.. are you here to stay? 🙂

  4. Matt says:

    If you’re not focused on making something great (laptops…a shrinking market), then they’re going to be just “meh”.

  5. First off, welcome back. The internet is a better place for you posting here independently.

    And to your point, I couldn’t agree more. How underwhelming was the announcement? Thinner, meh. Touch bar, meh. I think I’d have been happier if they’d just called these new MacBook Airs not Pros.

  6. Ren says:

    I was looking forward to replacing my 2007 17″ MBP with a new offering, and while I don’t need 32GB or a faster processor, I’m still finding myself underwhelmed. Really, though, I think it’s the price. I can’t see sticking with 8GB RAM or 256GB storage, so that bumps the 13″ price up to $2200. Sticker shock has me considering the 12″ MB. Or, more likely, sticking with my 17″ for now.

  7. Annette Willmott says:

    Hooray a new post! Have missed your daily musings..

  8. J.P. says:

    Like you, I’m pretty much an Apple whore and I was excited to see the new products announced last Thursday, until they announced them. All I could think was, “this is it”?

    I watched “Steve Jobs: The Lost Interview” on Netflix today just to get myself back into the Apple spirit because I was coming perilously close to switching to Windows. I’ll stick with what I have for a while and see if Apple comes to their senses over the next six months. I did feel motivated enough to send Tim Cook an email expressing my displeasure, and I have never done that before.

    With the negative feedback on the new MBP offerings all over the Internet, let’s hope we see something great come in the next six months or so. If not, well, perhaps it’s time to look at the Windows train again.

  9. CD says:

    OMFG!! OMFG!!! Holy Shit Batman Dave’s back!!!! Ok, now that is out of the way, I couldn’t agree more – this obsession with “thin” at the expense of power (don’t get me started on battery life on my iPhone) is Mr. Ive’s obsession and is NOT what customers are asking for or needing.

  10. Word.

    ..although my needs are obviously different from yours, I agree 100% with what you’ve written. I think the new machines are sexy as hell (especially the touchbar), but way overpriced. As much as I’d get one if I had that kind of cash laying around, I simply can’t justify replacing my 2013 RMBP until—as you say—Apple comes to their senses.

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