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Posted on Monday, June 6th, 2011

Dave!Well smack my ass and call me Sally... it's Bullet MONDAY?!? Given all the crazy crap that's gone on since yesterday, I guess it's going to have to be!

• STEEEEEEVE! I don't know what it is about a Steve Jobs keynote event that brings out my maternal instincts, but every time I see one I end up thinking about how much I'd like to have Steve Jobs' baby. Today's spiffy keynote from Apple's Worldwide Developer's Conference was no exception. So much cool stuff in the pipeline for all my Apple Whore toys... including Mac OS X Lion... iOS 5... and the all-new iCloud service...

WWDC Stevenote 2011

I could spend the next half-hour writing about the many new features which had me soiling myself with happiness, but that's a full-load in my pants that nobody wants to hear about. Might be better if everybody just watched the Stevenote for themselves and decide which features are worth freaking over.

• WEEEEEEINER! And so Representative Anthony Weiner now admits he's a freaky-ass pervert who likes to send shirtless photos and pictures of his schlong to young ladies. A few thoughts...

Weiner's Nipples
If I was in this good of shape, I'd send photos like this to everybody I know. Everybody.

  • In my humble opinion, this in no way makes Andrew Breitbart any less a worthless pieces of shit because he happened to be right this time. His reprehensible, disgusting, and wholly unwarranted lies that ended up crucifying Shirley Sherrod have branded him a worthless turd for life in my book.
  • It DOES, however, make Anthony Weiner look more like a worthless piece of shit because he got up in front of everybody and lied about it all by claiming "I WAS HACKED!!"
  • I am now deeply conflicted. On one hand, I am a huge fan of Weiner's wonderful no-bullshit politics. His handling of the First Responders' travesty is the stuff of legends. I loved him for that rant.
  • On the other hand, he's a douchebag liar. Why he couldn't have just said "no comment" instead of burying himself so stupidly like that? Did he learn nothing from how things worked out for President Clinton when he lied about his affair with Monica Lewinsky? I mean, come on. In two minutes I've gone from thinking Weiner is one of the smartest people on earth... to thinking he's a complete idiot. So sad.
  • In all honesty, I'm not sure where I stand on all this. Do I think Weiner's cheesy flirting with shots of his wiener and bare chest affect his ability to do his job? Of course not. I honestly don't give a fuck what people do in their personal life so long as everybody involved were consenting adults. That's between him, his wife, and the women he made throw up. But then again... he's apparently learning-impaired and a liar. This makes his effectiveness as a political leader plummet.

So... to sum up... whatever. Color me disappointed, but not surprised. These asshole politicians don't seem to know how to act any other way. About the only positive thing I can say is that at least he wasn't a total hypocrite here. It's not like he railed against homosexuals and was then caught trying to hook up for gay sex in a bathroom somewhere. In any event... way to stay classy, Representative Weiner.

• LEEEEEE! In much sadder news... Lee J. Ames has died. You may not know who he was, but I assure you that you've undoubtedly seen the result of his efforts. In fact, since you are looking at this blog, I can guarantee it! Mr. Ames is famous for his art instruction books, of which I am a massively huge fan...

Lee J. Ames Books

He has an uncanny knack of being able to effortlessly break down objects to base elements, and his "Draw 50" series of books taught me to see things this same way. Lil' Dave... Bad Monkey... and most everything I've ever drawn here... it's all using techniques I first learned from studying Lee J. Ames. As with all things which are done well, his books still hold up even today. If you know a kid who is interested in learning how to draw, you could do a lot worse than to track down these wonderful publications at your local library or art store. Rest in peace, Lee... and thank you.

• BULL SHEEEEEET! So much for the separation of Church and State. Such fucking bullshit.

• SLAAAAAAAAYER! It's the International Day of Slayer today!

Dave Slayer

♫ The root of all evil is the heart of a black soul... a force that has lived all eternity! ♫ A never ending search for a truth never told... the loss of all hope and your dignity! ♫

Annnnd... now I have to spend a couple of hours preparing for another long, hard day of work in the morning.

I'd add a long, hard photo here to drive that point home, but I think we've all seen enough wieners for a while.


  1. Sybil Law says:

    The whole Weiner thing is just so ridiculous. I just don’t understand how any politician thinks he can get AWAY with this crap anymore. Tweeting dick pics? And sorry – regardless of what kind of shape you’re in, shirtless pics (not to mention the others!)are the sign of a tool. That’s putting it nicely.
    Slayer day – greeeeeat. Band jam will be extra epic tonight. GAH.

  2. muskrat says:

    Why can’t people who are in the public eye realize they can’t do stupid shit like this? I don’t get it.

  3. martymankins says:

    I think I played some Reign in Blood yesterday.

    Weiner is a wiener. No winning here. Not even for Breitbart, although I’m sure his fan boys are crowing now. I’d like to know if Breitbart is unbiased in his sting operations and has taken down any of his own.

    I actually am looking forward to all 3 new Apple upgrades, but have one question about email when it moves from MobileMe to iCloud: will IMAP access still be available on non-Apple devices? So far, I’ve not found any details on that and will have to wait.

    Regardless, I have until June 30, 2012 under MobileMe, so it’s not pressing yet.

  4. Sarah says:

    I used to have one of this books when I was a kid!

    I might actually still have it somewhere in the crapton of books Vahid and I own. Hmmm…

  5. Michelle M. says:

    Oh, that’s sad. I have some of the Ames books – they’re terrific.

    Oh Mr. Weiner. When are the politicians going to learn to keep their peckers in their pants. Or at least not lie about it.

  6. Favorite line: “If I was in this good of shape, I’d send photos like this to everybody I know. Everybody.”


  7. Mrs. Hall says:

    so, here’s the thing. even if it was Mr. Hall himself, I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER WANT any man sending my picture of his winky doodle.

    male genitals are just not that attractive.

    seriously. and the pecs??

    see, this is what is wrong when men try to make stuff for women, sexy stuff. it’s not the parts that light us up, it’s the whole thing,

    I mean, take Cary Grant. Man had so much charm and grace and masculinity. Each time I see him in a film I swoon just a little. ok a lot. I challenge any woman to feel differently after watching Charade.

    But, the thing is, that kind of panty dropping power cannot be put into a tweetable photograph.

    Which really, if you think about it. Is a good thing. Because love and sex, if done right, cannot be contained to 140 characters and a johnson shot. And if you try to do it that way, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!!!



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