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Posted on Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

Dave!In all seriousness here, I don't know whether to laugh or cry anymore...

Hey Boys & Girls, My name is Pee-Wee Dave, welcome to the Pee-Wee Dave Show!


Look! It's Bad Monkey with today's Magic Word: LIAR!


Every time somebody hows up and starts telling lies, EVERYBODY YELL AS LOUD AS YOU CAN!


Hey everybody! It's Donald Trump!


Donald Says: President Obama's grandmother in Kenya said he was born in Kenya and she was there and witnessed the birth. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
PolitiFact says... FALSE!


Donald Says: The people that went to school with Barack Obama, they never saw him. They don't know who he is. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
PolitiFact says... PANTS ON FIRE!


Donald Says: President Obama has spent over $2 million in legal fees defending lawsuits about his birth certificate. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! border=
PolitiFact says... FALSE!


Don't get me wrong... if he can prove that President Obama was not born in the USA, REGARDLESS OF THE OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY, then more power to him. That would be a massive lie that deserves to be exposed, and "The Donald" would truly be doing our country a service by exposing it (even though I don't really give a shit).


Until there is some ACTUAL FUCKING EVIDENCE and all Trump has is a BUNCH OF FUCKING LIES then he should probably SHUT THE FUCK UP! Because if he CAN'T produce any ACTUAL FUCKING EVIDENCE then all he's doing is TRASHING THE PRESIDENT FOR PERSONAL GAIN WITH NO CONSEQUENCES FOR HIS LIES! I mean, come on... HE'S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!

Of course, all the birther pigfuckers are defending him by saying "Donald Trump is only asking questions! " But this is a load of shit. His "questions" are just lies masquerading as questions. It would be like Bill Gates popping up on every fucking news program in existence and saying "DONALD TRUMP HAS PROVIDED NO PROOF THAT HE'S NOT A CARD-CARRYING MEMBER OF NAMBLA AND HAS SEX WITH UNDERAGE BOYS!" Or perhaps "I AM SPENDING TWO MILLION DOLLARS TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH AS TO WHETHER DONALD TRUMP IS A PEDOPHILE THAT FUCKS CHILDREN!!" Or something like "THERE CONTINUES TO BE NO EVIDENCE THAT DONALD TRUMP IS NOT A CHILD RAPIST!"

People hear that shit... conclude that somebody with millions of dollars like Bill Gates must know what he's talking about... and suddenly people are believing that Donald Trump is having sex with their children. It's a lie (or so I would hope), but people are too fucking lazy to find out the truth, so they just roll over and believe what they think they're being told.

Look, I can't say for definite sure that President Obama was born in Hawaii like all the evidence says. I wasn't there. Maybe Trump is actually on to something. Maybe all the birther pigfuckers are right. Maybe it's all true. But I also wasn't there when Donald Trump allegedly had sex with all those young boys, so maybe that's true too.

I mean, it could be.

It's not like you need any evidence or hard facts anymore.

Just millions of dollars and an agenda to baselessly discredit somebody.

Or a blog. Same difference! It's all good!


  1. Mel says:

    I sure do hate that Donald Boyfucker with all his pedophilic perversions. I heard he used to be a Catholic priest just so he could diddle little kids.

  2. the muskrat says:

    But I was in Hawaii twice last year, and I didn’t see any statutes or signs ANYWHERE saying “Obama was born here!” Have you driven through Arkansas (God, I hope not)? There are signs as soon as you cross the state line bragging about Clinton’s birth there.

    Maybe the problem is that Hawaii doesn’t have interstates and state lines.

  3. Alexander says:

    I love you. That is all. Can you, me, and all the rest of the SANE people in this country go somewhere and found our own country?

  4. Steve in NH says:

    The NY Times needs a new columnist. It should be you.

  5. Lisa says:

    God I can’t stand Donald Trump! And WTH with that hair? I mean come on… Do you really want the possibility of that hair ever showing up on your currency? He’s such a tool.

  6. Annabelle says:

    Wanna know why I’m an idiot?

    Because I don’t give a shit where he, or any other President is born. Womb extradition location has no fucking bearing as to what kind of person you can become.

    It’s an antiquated rule that provides zero guarantee that our “leader”will have our best interests at heart.

    I love the bullshit idea of smoke and mirrors instead of issues and plans.

    Ass hats…ALL of them.

  7. Mad William says:

    Wow, I had no idea BIll Gates proved that The Donald was a Child rapist.

    I heard it here first, so it must be true.

    Thanks for setting us straight Dave!

  8. bo says:

    You do indignant rage better than anyone I’ve ever met.

  9. Megan says:

    Wait – does Donald Trump fuck little boys or pigs?

    • Dave2 says:

      I cannot speak as to the unsubstantiated, unfounded, and incorrect rumor that Donald Trump likes to have sex with children.

      But since he’s a birther, he’s definitely a pigfucker.

  10. shari says:

    This is the best rant ever. Not only is it well written and includes eye-catching graphics, it also happens to be cogent and rational. The stupidity and fungibility of public opinion continues to baffle me.

  11. Avitable says:

    He’s moved from eccentric weirdo to dangerous blowhard now.

  12. Sybil Law says:

    Trump is a fucking ass. There’s no proof he ISN’T an ass, so I’m saying he is.

  13. martymankins says:

    First off, spot on Chairy and Pee-Wee.

    Secondly, Trump seems to have taken on the “attack on a subject that has already been proven. Who knew that Mitt Romney was more sane than Trump, at least in where his focus is. If these people want Obama out of the office, find something more substantial that affects the lives of the citizens. Sarah Palin was born in the US, but I wouldn’t want her level of intelligence running the country. So just because you were born on US soil, doesn’t mean you know how to govern.

    Ross Perot was more focused than Trump, comparing businessman to businessman presidential wanna be’s.

  14. john says:

    THANK YOU! When I first heard about Trump’s comments about this I thought: “I thought he was supposed to be a smart guy.” Then I came out of my stupor and remembered who was making these statements. He’s an ass.

  15. Suebob says:

    The stupidness of people is so discouraging to me. Do they really think Obama’s parents did some kind of shenanigans to get his birth announcement in the paper in anticipation that little baby Barack would want to run for president 47 years later?

    Good cartoons, though.

  16. Renee says:

    I found you purely by accident and GOD am I glad I did. I thought that I was a lone voice in the wilderness when it came to things like this. You speak for so many of us with your rational and persuasive witticisms cloaked in the gospel truth. Keep fighting the good fight and remember that while we’re stationed in other quarters, know that we are tag teaming you!

  17. Tracy says:

    I love you so much I can’t even stand it.

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