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Bullet Sunday 208

Posted on Sunday, November 28th, 2010

Dave!It's a crash-and-burn kind of Bullet Sunday. Every time I get started on in on a project, something comes along to bring everything to a screeching halt.

• Goodbye. Leslie Nielsen, who will forever be Lt. Frank Drebin to me, passed away today. I've lost count of the times I've watched his Police Squad! episodes and movies. Absolute classics in every sense of the word. Thanks for the many, many laughs over the years, sir! You will be missed.

Leslie Nielsen as Lt. Frank Drebin of Police Squad
Oh, and one more thing... I faked every orgasm!

• Alcohol. There's a meme going around encouraging people to share an uncommon alcoholic beverage that they've enjoyed. Since the only thing I drink now-a-days is J├Ągermeister in Red Bull or Vodka with cranberry juice, this is a tough one. About the only "uncommon" drink I can remember would be "POGaritas" which was a favorite with my friends and I on our trips to Maui, Hawaii in the late 80's and early 90's. "POG" is a popular juice-like drink (POG standing for "Passionfruit, Orange, Guava") invented in Maui (but is now sold State-side as well). For a POGarita, just mix a decent tequila with POG. Instead of a slice of lime for garnish, you use a wedge of pineapple. You can put sugar on the rim, but it tastes best when simply blended and served plain in whatever clean glassware you can find...

POGaritas Blending

You have to be careful though, because the fruity flavor of POG camouflages a multitude of tequila-rooted sins. You can drink one after another and not really notice you're getting bombed until it's too late...

Dave2 getting drunk on POGaritas in the rain in Hawaii.

Don't judge my drunken ass too harshly. When it rains in Maui, about the only thing you can do is drink. I think this was from a trip in 1987... which was 23 years ago. If I had tons of money and no responsibilities, this would be how I spend my life today.

• Radiation Check. Holy crap... it just keeps getting worse. Why you should never submit to the airport porn-o-scanners.

• Bottom Gear. Just about every attempt by American television networks to recreate a popular British television series has resulted in total failure. With the possible exception of The Office, I can't even think of a show that's managed not to suck. Hard. I guess you could include American Idol in there, but I can't watch that show, so I don't care. The latest travesty is one of my most favorite British shows, Top Gear. It's tremendously entertaining on just about every level, mostly thanks to the awesome presenters...

Top Gear Cast Photo
Richard "Hamster" Hammond, Jeremy Clarkson, and James "Captain Slow" May

The big picture here is that the show doesn't need to be re-made. It translates perfectly to American audiences with almost no confusion, and BBC America should have just made a deal with one of our major networks to air it "as-is"... I think it would be a big success. Heck, it's already a big success for BBC America (which, unfortunately, not many people have here).

But oh no... instead we've got The History Channel (of all places) doing a re-make.

And it sucks.

I watched the first episode and hated it. But I chalked that up to having an emotional attachment to the original, and felt I probably wasn't giving it a fair shake. So I watched a second episode.

And it still sucks.

They're copying absolutely everything from the British original, but somehow failing at it. The presenters just aren't entertaining. They have -zero- chemistry. They're definitely not funny. All the "humor" on the show is badly forced and not even worth a chuckle. It's the exact opposite of what Jeremy Clarkson and Co. have going on the REAL Top Gear. Thankfully, my cable package includes BBC America so I can see it. I'm just pissed that many Americans will see the shitty re-make and think that "Top Gear" is terrible when they're not even watching Top Gear.

• DaveToon Redux. I rarely laugh at the cartoons I draw for Blogography. I'm usually too embarrassed over having slapped together yet another crappy piece of Colorforms art. Given the time constraints I almost always have, there's not much I can do about it, but it still bothers me. And yet... every once in a while something comes out of it that gets me to smile. This time it was the TSA cartoon I made for Bad Monkey. Specifically, one piece of one panel of that series...

DAVETOON: Bad Monkey Victory

I have no idea why, but seeing this makes me laugh my ass off every time. I'm laughing as I type this. I think it's because that one panel sums up who Bad Monkey is. He's once again gotten away with something he shouldn't have, and his smug victory stance as he walks away from all consequences of his actions defines his personality perfectly.

I need this on a T-shirt.

And, on that note, I guess it's time to put the computer down and see if I can get my crap together so I can get back to real life tomorrow. But first? Waffles.


  1. Jeff says:

    I would buy that Bad Monkey T! Let us know when it is ready. As to Top Gear, I love the BBC show and watch it every chance I can. I didn’t even consider watching the remake; you can’t improve on perfection.

  2. Erin says:

    I love Top Gear as well (which is saying something about the awesomeness of the show since car talk usually sends me straight into a coma) and was hoping that the American version would be much better than it turned out to be. I’m just hoping that, over time, the American cast will develop the same rapport and comfort in front of the cameras that makes the original show so much fun to watch (and that they make it much less of a sponsor fest).

    As for your shirt, I’d wear it. In public. And I wouldn’t even cover it up with a sweater.

  3. James Bow says:

    Leslie Nielsen was also an excellent dramatic actor who tended, in my opinion, to be typecast in comedy roles. I quite enjoyed his straight performance in the sci-fi classic “The Forbidden Planet”. But for me, Nielsen’s finest moment was one of the early episodes of “Due South”, where he plays a RCMP officer who runs to Chicago from a murderous crook with a vendetta. Neilsen’s early scenes, as he reluctantly admits to being terrified, were played straight, and he showed considerable dramatic range here. Then, as the story picks up, more and more comedy enters into the routine. When he and Benton Frasier commandeer horses to go after the bad guy is truly a moment of triumph.

  4. delmer says:

    I’ve not been able to bring myself to watch the American Top Gear — the promos for it seem lackluster enough… I don’t need a whole hour of it.

    Luckily, I get BBC America… even more lucky for me, I get Top Gear on demand. So, when the DVR fills up with Zach and Cody to the point Top Gear scrolls off, I can still get it.

  5. the muskrat says:

    He was probably my favorite actor as a kid. I bet I watched Airplane! 15 times, and I saw all the Naked Gun films at the theater.

  6. kapgar says:

    So will we see this on a T-shirt? Maybe a “Bad Monkey in 2012” campaign shirt?

  7. Sad to hear about Leslie Nielsen. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve watched Airplane. Love that movie.

  8. Sybil Law says:

    I want that tee short, too! WAH!

    RIP, Leslie. He was awesome.

    Thanks for mentioning waffles! We ran out and I’d have forgotten to get them at the grocery if you hadn’t mentioned it! Mmmm -blueberry waffles…

  9. A. Lewis says:

    Oh dear. POG and you make a perfect couple.

  10. Karl says:

    Love Leslie Nielsen. Like others that have commented, I can’t count how many times I’ve seen Naked Gun (and its sequels) and Airplane.

    And thanks for that link about the backscatter x-ray machines.

  11. We all need that Bad Monkey pose on a t-shirt, with a drink in our hands in Maui.

    I was sad to hear about Leslie Nielsen. He always made me laugh.

    Seriously, make those shirts. I need some new Blogography wear. My Zombies shirt is wearing well, but my Bad Monkey “push this button” needs a companion.

  12. Continuing our discussion yesterday, the British Top Gear HAS been on (with the current cast) since 2002. So, of course they have that awesome rapport. Granted, Rutledge, Tanner, and Adam have only been together for two shows (thus far) but DAMN! It’s like watching three bumps on a log who are there because they only have to be. I mean, I want three gear heads who are so passionate about cars that talking about them comes naturally. I hate to admit it, but maybe Jay Leno would be good for American Top Gear. Now, HE’S a full-on car freak. Get three versions of him, without the whole “pissing off Conan” thing, and they would have it.

    *Sigh* You and I should record our own Top Gear.

  13. Avitable says:

    Police Squad was such a great show – I wish it had gotten more episodes.

  14. Sarah says:

    I miss my BBC America. I am blaming Vahid for the fact that we don’t have television.

  15. Michelle M. says:

    Bad Monkey is making me think of Dr. Evil’s “laser” air quotes. Which cracks me up.

  16. Hilly says:

    Oh POG, how I always loved thee! That was one of my favorite things about Hawaii. Ooooh, and the Macadamia Nut pancakes. Ooooh and the Paniolo Omelet.

    Excuse me, I need to go pork out now.

  17. The radiation stuff sccares the crap out of me. I have had a lot of radiation (hence the name radioactive tori) and the thought of more that is unnecessary medically is really upsetting. I am already at a higher risk of having more cancer for many reasons, do we really need to increase that? What about kids? Their dose is so much higher than an adults because their body is so small. If we radiate ourselves so much with “harmless” radiation what happens when people end up with more cancer? I feel like looking back on this, everyone is going to say “what the hell were they thinking?” and look at it as some crazy stupid thing people did in the old days like using radiation to cure acne (that they used to do and it caused all kinds of cancers later in life for many people).

    Sorry for my rant but this kind of scares the crap out of me!

  18. kilax says:

    My brother asked me if we were watching Top Gear on the History Channel. He knows we like the original. He agreed with you on the American version. Bummer!

  19. adena says:

    They’re “Americanizing” the BBC America show “Being Human.” Which I loved, and the American promos enrage me. Also, the actors they picked to play the roles are not even a slight percentage of the hotness of the British ones. Sigh. Why must they ruin good things?

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