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Posted on Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Dave!So televangelist and so-called "Man of God" Pat Robertson has gone and said something bat-shit insane.


Apparently he feels that the Haitian people made a pact with the devil in order to end French colonization. He doesn't mention anything about who the Haitians made a pact with to end the United States occupation in 1934, but I'm assuming it's somebody pretty high up on the Evil Scale. Perhaps Bert from Sesame Street, myself, or Dick Cheney...

Are you evil?

Never mind that none of us existed back in 1934, when you're talking about Pat Robertson, words like "logic" and "sanity" go right out the window. This is nothing new. I put Pat at the top of the Insanity Scale back in 2006...

Are you insane?

Because here's the thing... when it comes to crazy shit, Pat Robertson is top of the heap. It doesn't get more crazy than this. He's so nuts that Wikipedia has to keep a separate page devoted to all the insanity.

Don't get me wrong, the fruitcake has the right to say whatever fucked up shit he wants to say (this being America and all), but the problem I have is that people buy into the stuff he puts out there. People actually give their hard-earned money to Pat Robertson so he can keep his crazy on the air. I understand that there are individuals out there who are just looking for a way to keep faith in their lives, and think that Pat Robertson fills this need... but how much ridiculous bullshit does it take before you go shopping for a new religious leader? Anyone? Anyone?

It's not just that Pat Robertson is a stupid, hypocritical, uncaring, opportunistic, lying piece of shit, it's that he's just plain evil. It doesn't matter if he actually believes that God is such an asshole that He would slaughter innocent children and animals who get in the way of His divine vengeance... it's that Pat is so lacking in compassion that he would actually SAY that to a devastated people. Couldn't he just say "I'm so sorry to hear about the tragedy in Haiti. It's sometimes difficult to see God's plan for us when things like this happen, but we have to trust in His wisdom. I pray that the people of Haiti let the Lord into their hearts so that He can help get them through this. God bless you all."SEE?!? That's a COMPASSIONATE and TACTFUL way to tell people that you think God hates them and it's their fault that God had to smite their asses. But Pat Robertson doesn't have a compassionate or tactful bone in his body because he's just fucking evil. Tragedy strikes, and there's Pat to pass judgement (which is supposed to be God's territory, but maybe Pat Robertson has never read The Bible to know this). Just like Nancy Grace and Ann Coulter, "Reverend" Pat is a whore who just loves to turn other people's tragedies into a money-making opportunity. It's the very definition of evil...


If there is any justice, Pat Robertson's god will judge him using the same compassion and logic that Pat Robertson uses to judge everybody else.

Which basically means he's fucked.

And it couldn't happen to a nicer person.

More crazy Pat Robertson crap on Blogography...
August 23, 2005. I try to figure out why Pat Robertson is such a fucking moron.
January 6, 2006. I tell Pat Robertson to shut the fuck up.
June 25, 2007. I surmise that it's actually Pat Robertson who is a tool of the devil.

And now, on a more serious note...
I've written many times about my love, admiration, and respect for Doctors Without Borders and the incredible work they do. Often going where angels fear to tread, DWB is an international medical humanitarian organization working in more than 60 countries to assist people whose survival is threatened by violence, neglect, or catastrophe. They are in Haiti right now, doing everything they can to tend to the victims of the earthquake. If you can help them to help others, please visit their website and make a donation...

Support Doctors Without Borders in Haiti


  1. RW says:

    Pat forgot the part that goes, “Whatever you did for the least of these… you did for me.”

    That echos through many other belief systems relative to one’s karma or whether or not a person is upholding one of the seven pillars of Islam (charity), so he boo-boo’d pretty much across the board, I mean since “whatever he did” was just wag his tongue and browbeat. heh… Robertson just browbeat God. What a doofus.

    We saw what you did thar!

  2. A. Lewis says:

    I swear, isn’t it just about Robertson’s time to join Falwell?

  3. B.E. Earl says:

    Amen, brother!

    What kills me is that he isn’t the only one who actually believes this crap. There are a bunch of folks in this country (world?) who believe that Dutty Boukman and his friends made a real pact with the real devil on that night in the summer of 1791. Yeah…that was over 200 years ago, kids.

    Are we living in 17th Century Salem here? What the hell?

  4. I was listening to NPR at lunch today and they played a clip of Pat’s comment. I was absolutely gobsmacked and had no words. But it sure made me angry.

    What a fucking arsehole.

  5. martymankins says:

    I am convinced that Pat and anyone that is ultra conservative and plays a role in any media empire building doesn’t actually believe any of the hateful bullshit they spew. They are simply looking for more press, going off the “bad press is good press” mantra.

    Of course, this still makes him and others insane. Just greedy and insane.

  6. Suebob says:

    Love the 1-10 scales. I think you hit it right on.

  7. Mik says:

    The mind boggles the crap he comes up with. I wasn’t aware of the Haiti comments, what a dingbat.

  8. Sybil Law says:

    Once again, you’ve said it better than I ever could’ve.
    I thank God for you.

  9. Steve in NH says:

    That Nancy Grace Devil Face is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Pat Robertson is so evil I can’t even stand to look at him. Why does he have such a huge following? Of course I am from the second-most unreilgious state in the country so I’ll never understand, I guess. Pat Robertson’s continued existence is argument against the existence of God.

  10. josh says:

    I LOVED the president of Haiti’s response to Pat, basically saying that if Haiti made a deal with the devil, than America also benefited and therefore we should also all be dragged to H-E-double hockey stix.

  11. Thanks for just calling a fucking asshole a fucking asshole. It brings my blood pressure down (slightly) to read this post.

  12. Walt says:


    Just when you think America has finally got some sort of respectful approach to the world, some ass has to grab the microphone and blurt off something that makes us hang our heads again. Why haven’t idiots like Pat been remove? Can’t they see he does nothing to promote the word of God in any shape or form? If I were a nonbeliever, listening to Roberts sure as hell wouldn’t bring me closer to God. Again it’s bull like this that is a constant distraction from the world we need to be focusing on. I hate to say it but I look forward to the day when we no longer have to hear about what stupid garbage came out of Roberts mouth.

  13. delmer says:

    I wonder if Pat’s still able to leg press a ton… or 1/2 ton… whatever it was. He’s starting to show his age.

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