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Posted on Monday, December 14th, 2009

Dave!And so... James Cameron's Avatar is dropping in theaters this Friday, and I am near the point of desperation to go see it. The problem is that I positively loathe to go to the movies anymore. People have reached new heights of rudeness, and it's just not as fun as it used to be. I spend most of my time filled with rage because people are getting calls on their mobile phones, lighting up the entire theater by texting, talking in loud voices and making noise, kicking the seats in front of them, and being all-around assholes. Why should I pay $7.50 for a ticket and $6.00 for a Coke to be subjected to that?

Maybe I should publish a new addition to my growing family of "Dumbasses" books so I can pass them out whenever I go to the movies?

DAVETOON BOOK: Movie Theater Etiquette for Dumbasses

Though the odds of anybody too rude to already know theater etiquette actually taking time to read it are slim.

So maybe I do what I usually do, and wait for the Blu-Ray to be released.

But then I look at this poster popping up everywhere...

Blue Alien Avatar Poster

...and I really, really want to go.

Here's hoping that if I do go I won't end up killing anybody.


  1. Anthony McG says:

    I’m going to see it this morning but am lucky in that it’ll be press peoples. Hopefully they know their movie etiquette cos most audiences don’t.

  2. kilax says:

    We feel this way too, and have been having a really hard time enjoying any movie lately. Because of our budget, we have only gone when we’ve had giftcards, and each time, it’s been awful. During the last movie we saw (2012 – so bad but I was hoping the graphics would be cool) we had to get up and move twice. And even in our final seat, we still couldn’t concentrate. Here’s how bad it was – I missed major plot points (were there any?) because the people were being so annoying I couldn’t focus. Hope you find a decent theater for Avatar. Do you have those fancy 15 people theaters out there? Costs more, but I bet the people who go to those are more civilized!

  3. Avitable says:

    Just go in the middle of the day, or the morning. On a weekday. Best time to go!

    • Dave2 says:

      The only matinee shows we get are on weekends, and then they’re just crowded with rude people who only go because the tickets are cheap… most of the time they aren’t even interested in the movie that’s playing. It’s just an excuse to hang out and be assholes.

  4. Sybil Law says:

    I saw James Cameron on the Today show, and it really kinda made me want to see this movie. In spite of how the Avatars give me the creeps. 🙂

  5. Hilly says:

    I’m really excited to see Avatar! Around here, if you go to the earliest showing of a movie, there isn’t much cocksuckerry. Mostly.

  6. Lisa says:

    Last time we went to the movies hubs yelled at the guy behind me because he kicked my seat the whole movie. It was pure awesomeness!

  7. B.E. Earl says:

    I’m taking the morning off on Friday and I’m gonna go see it at the IMAX theater with a friend of mine. No teenagers. 🙂

  8. Tracy says:

    Amen & hallelujah. You’ve summed up my feelings about going to the movies perfectly.

  9. I get so annoyed at people texting during the movie. Really? What could possibly be that important that it can’t wait 90 mins. You paid to watch a movie…BLOODY WATCH IT.

    • Dave2 says:

      The minute somebody turns on their phone to text, it’s just as if they had turned on a flashlight. And there’s ALWAYS people texting during the middle of a movie. ALWAYS. As an added bonus, sometimes the asshole who is texting has a clicky keyboard, so they make noise AND light up the theater. In many ways it’s MORE distracting than if they had just called somebody.

  10. Etienne says:

    Do they even have a theater capable of showing the movie in 3D in Weeki Wachee, WA or wherever the heck it is you live? 😉 ‘Cause I’m sure you’re going to want to see it that way. It seems James Cameron has invented a totally new type of 3D film process.

    • Dave2 says:

      HA HA HA HA!

      No… of course not. We are lucky that we can see films in COLOR, let alone 3-D!!

      The problem is that I probably won’t be able to get to a 3-D theater before the film is out of theaters. 🙁

  11. whitenoise says:

    Still, looks like a pretty cool movie. Maybe the cool factor will over-power the dumbass quotient.

  12. Glenn Beckmann says:

    Moive theater etiquette plays a big roll, but let’s get some theater employees who can enforce the rules. The kids who work at these places are just as bad. We need to start kicking these boneheads butts! Start showing them we don’t want them in to theater. Start standing up! Get these stupid people kicked out! Don’t give them their money back! Just kick them out!

  13. SunSpotBaby says:

    Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns. One time when kids were throwing little candy’s at people in the audience, I complained to an usher, and he went over and did his little wimpy “now kiddies, stop doing whatever you’re doing” and they just laughed at him and continued throwing candy. I jumped up and went over and said “GODDAMN IT, PEOPLE PAID GOOD MONEY TO SEE THIS MOVIE AND I’M SICK OF BEING DISTURBED SO CUT THAT CRAP OUT!!!” Guess what? Everyone clapped and they stopped throwing candy. Then, when the movie was over, they jumped up and ran out because I’m a little old lady of 65 and they probably thought I had a gun in my purse or something!! (I didn’t……)

  14. Etienne says:

    It’d, still, almost be worth it….
    re – cell phone jammers
    According to Wiki – “USA: illegal to operate, manufacture, import, or offer for sale, including advertising, with fines of up to $11,000 and imprisonment of up to one year”
    I cannot tell you how much personal satisfaction I’d get from using one of those things. It’d almost be better than sex!

    The French had it right for a while; they legalized cell-phone jammers in movie theaters and other places with performances in 2004. Sadly, whiny cry-babies complained about not being able to receive ’emergency’ calls and it was revoked.

  15. Michelle M. says:

    This is exactly why I watch most everything on Netflix. But for the “I should really see this on a big screen movie” (like Avatar) I try to go in the afternoon.
    I just went to see Everybody’s Fine with a friend. Not only did she want to see Old Dogs (and she’d already seen it!), but she checked her phone twice during the movie. I really need to start hanging out with better class of people.

  16. Only $7.50?? Here it’s almost $10!! I refuse to go anymore, unless it’s something I really, really want to see. And even then, I go to a theater in a different town, because for some reason the people at the Southington cinema are less asshole-y than the ones in Waterbury. Fifteen minutes makes a hell of a difference!

  17. Ren says:

    I can focus pretty well, so I think I’m less affected by this type of behavior at the movies. That being said, I have been disturbed a couple of times by someone telling someone else to stop texting. In such cases I rightly blame the texter and not the complainer, even though it was the latter that actually disturbed me.

    Years ago, when Bluetooth was new, there was talk of having some sort of system at theaters and such that would automatically silence phone ringers. I guess this didn’t happen, and would’ve presumably been somewhat voluntary anyway, but I had it happaned, perhaps it could have been expanded to block texting.

    I’m all for allowing calls to come through (on vibrate) in case of emergency, but all actual communication should be preceded by exiting the theater.

  18. Peggy Archer says:

    If you think you’re rage filled now, just wait until you see that clunker of a movie. I guarantee at least one angry rant.

  19. delmer says:

    I’ve taken to yelling at people to put their phones away at the theater. When I get angry I’m able to reproduce the voice my dad used to use to rein us in when we were little — it’s a voice that can’t be denied. (Which, I guess, makes me sort of Hulk like. As the voice is the only thing that changes, there’s no need for a wardrobe change. Which is a shame, really, as that would provide an entirely different movie-going experience for the people sitting next to me.)

  20. Julie says:

    You only pay $7.50 for a movie? DAMN I need to move back to the USA.

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