Seriously... five years? FIVE YEARS?
I already rehashed the early history of Blogography for Blogiversary 2, which you can read here, so I won't be going into all that again. I did consider reinventing my history with colorful lies so it would be more interesting, but my early entries suck so bad that nobody would believe it.
In any event I have been blogging for five years now, and that's reason to celebrate!
Just like my previous Kick-Ass Blogiversary Celebrations, I'll be giving away hundreds of dollars worth of booty (along with a few surprises) over the next four days, so be sure to check back and enter! Here's the schedule of events...
Unfortunately, past experience has taught me that there are always dumbasses who try to spoil things, so I am compelled to waste the first day of my Blogiversary posting a bunch of rules so I can (hopefully) anticipate any ass-hattery that might ensue from giving away free stuff. Have fun with that!
OFFICIAL BLOGOGRAPHY KICK-ASS BLOGIVERSARY 5 CELEBRATION CONTEST RULES...
- All four contests are open to everybody but, in order to reward my regular commenters, some contests require you to answer a set of questions about Blogography if you don't have a minimum number of comments. It works like this...
- Everybody who enters for the day's prizes has their name added to a hat.
- I draw a name out of the hat for each prize.
- If the drawn name has the required number of comments, they win the prize.
- If the drawn name doesn't have the required number of comments, their answers to the questions are graded. If they didn't answer the questions, their name is discarded and I draw again. If they didn't get enough answers correct, their name is discarded and I draw again.
- I don't keep track of how many comments you leave, and won't check unless your name is drawn for a prize. If you need to find out, you can always use my search page. Just type in the name you comment under and select "Search Comments Only" from the drop-down box. When in doubt, answer the questions... you aren't penalized for doing so.
- Each daily Grand Prize has world-wide shipping included. Runner-up prizes do not include shipping charges, and you'll have to pay the exact shipping costs to collect your winnings. PLEASE NOTE: At no time are duties and taxes included in the prize! If you live in a country which levies duties and taxes on inbound foreign shipments, you have to pay them.
- All prizes are awarded at my discretion and all my decisions as to awarding them are final. That being said, I don't cheat. Whoever wins, wins (unless they die, change their mind, or don't respond back when I notify them).
- Most prizes are NOT available for immediate shipment because this is all custom-manufactured merchandise! I do not order new stuff until it has been pre-sold for a minimum of three weeks (so I know how much stuff to order). Merchandise is usually created and arrives at the end of May and is available for shipment in June. So if you are expecting immediate shipment of your winnings after Blogiversary 5 Week, please don't bother entering. I will make every effort to send the prizes exactly as described or shown. However, if due to unforeseen circumstances I am forced to make a substitution, I reserve the right to do so. Sorry, but winners are not allowed to request a cash prize or make substitutions.
- Winners will be announced here on Sunday, April 27th using their first name and last initial. If you would prefer to be identified by a nick-name, it's not a problem... just let me know when you send in your entry. Winners will be notified via the return email address in their entry (please make sure your address is valid!).
- All contests are void where prohibited or illegal. If you live in such a place, you really should move to someplace that's more fun. :-)
And now, on with the show...
w00t! I love contests!
Oh. My. God. I’m so excited I think I just pee’d myself!
I’d like to plunder Dave’s booty.
From what kind of a hat will you be drawing the names? That is the sort of valuable information that I need to know…
WOOHOO! First a fondue party and now The Blogiversary! It’s almost too much excitement for one girl to have in a week! HOORAY!
No, really, dude, I’m pretty psyched.
Congrats on 5 years, Dave! That’s quite an accomplishment.
Good luck. I think you’re going to need a vacation after this contest!
Woo-hoo! It’s time to party!
Congratulations on 5 years! If you ever quit…well, I don’t know. The entire blogiverse is only cool because of you! I rarely comment since I haven’t written on my blog since last June, so here are some comments that I’ve saved up.
You should totally move to Seattle – think how many connecting flights you could avoid. 🙂 Don’t you just love unsolicited advice?
A little piece of my soul died when Veronica Mars left, and I too wish I could experience it all anew. It’s just great that some of the players are around, so when I watch Moonlight, I can pretend Logan’s not really a vampire. Shame you don’t like Heroes. At least not as far as I can remember.
I’m done rambling now. Here’s to 5 more years. Can you imagine?
sonofabitch…i will have had to comment a certain number of times before i can win something? dammit! all those lurking days are coming back to haunt me. rrrrrrrrr!
i guess it is a good thing that i rarely win anything. don’t worry, i’ll still love you.
ok, really not trying to up the number of my comments, but i wanted to say happy anniversary, dave. i’ve only been at it for less than two months and i can’t imagine five years. that is one hell of an accomplishment. hope you know how happy you make some of us by maintaining your little corner of the interwebs.
(believe it or not, i am not trying to suck up to win your contests, either. you rock and i hope you know it.)
Dumb Asshats! Or is that Dumbass Hats??
Seriously, I always look forward to this time of the year. Celebration… and prizes.
Happy 5th Birthday Dave!!
Dave: Nice smiley face toast. Is that one of the prizes?
Your d-toon makes me want a Dave2 Pirate Lego Set. Dear Lego people, get crackin’.
Happy Blogiversary week!
Er, so how many times did we have to comment – or will nude pictures suffice? 😉
Happy Blogiversary Dave!
I am so excited! I have been reading you for exactly one year because I remember last year I answered all the questions and was going through a tough time with my son’s health and it was a great distraction. I became so hooked on your blog that I continued to read. I won a prize that I never actually claimed because I suck…or I got busy and forgot until too late…I was sad about that but it’s my own damn fault. This year, I promise to claim any prize I may win! Hooray! Happy Blogiversary!
Wow. Thanks for shoving my own suckage into my face. Ive only made 22 comments. I suck.
Also, My son is obsessed with pirates, I printed out pirate Dave for him. He and his paper you are watching Ben 10 right now
Horray! Hard to believe it’s been another year so soon.
Well – I just found your blog via the “Send Lisa TO Disney” campaign and have become a fan. So this is my first comment … I guess I’d be one of those that have to answer tons and tons of really difficult hard questions?
I’m good at quizzes … and very competitive. This should be fun 🙂
Wheeeeee, prizes!! 5 Solid Years. Every.Friggin.Day. That’s 1825 moments of Dave Wisdom. Honestly, shouldn’t we be giving you prizes?
Yay! Last years was so much fun, I can’t wait to see what you’ve got planned for this year.
Congrats Dave… 5 years is a long stinkin time in this business. Looking forward to 5 more!
Oh hellsyeahhhhhh, let the games begin! Dude, I have no idea why I just searched to see if I have enough comments when I clearly do.
HAPPY 5TH BLOGIVERSARY, MY FRIEND! Yarrrrgh!
Holy hell – 5 years!!! Sweet. I love your anniversaries – they’re all backwards from regular anniversaries in that you give gifts instead of getting them. Although if I had your snail mail addy I’d send you TimTams to help celebrate.
And now I have that Kool & the Gang song stuck in my head.
I’m screwed then, I’m not the only Sue here. Maybe I should change my name…
Congrats Dave! I can’t wait to see what the contests are..I have a horrible memory and suck at trivia & haven’t left many comments, but it’s worth a try…damn it all. 😉
As if cash could ever match up to your awesome prizes. AS IF!
This was so much fun last year, I’m excited. Weeee!
I’m lovin’ the pirate theme here! Yay! er…Yoho!
Woo hoo!! I love the Blogiversary! Does this comment count in the number of comments needed by the way? Although, I think I’m safe on that already.
Congrats on 5 years!
And just to let you know — If I lived in a foreign country, I’d let you levy my duties any time…
Well, I didn’t have enough comments a couple of years ago, but I’m sure I do now. You’re not penalizing me for changing my e-mail address, though, are you?
Rock on, Dave, rock on.
I’d like to second the ‘w00t’ given be the first commenter.
Consider yourself twice w00t-ed.
Did you say this was a Shake Your Booty contest? Will K.C. and the Sunshine Band be performing?
I’m out of the contest automatically for that comment, aren’t I?
Congratulations on sticking with this for five years. That’s a truckton of posts!
Happy Anniversary Davey! Wow – 5 years is very impressive!
Woot! I still listen to the CDs I won last year! Yay! (Wait..was that last year? Or the year before? Holy Hell!)
Happy 5th Blogiversary Dave. Bring on the Questions! 🙂
I didn’t win anything last year. Here’s hoping my luck is better this time.
Congrats on making it 5 years and still being fresh as a daisy (or something like that). I discovered you about a year ago and enjoy whatever’s got your attention or got you p/o’d, each day. And now, prizes!! Woo-hoo! I’m feeling lucky ’cause I got my own ‘monkey-power’,now, too. I just won a sock monkey in the “Send Lisa to Disney” raffle….Let the games begin!
I’d like to be nowhere nearby when Av plunders Dave’s booty. NOWHERE NEARBY.
Happy fifth, m’man!
Yes! Blogiversary time! Let the games begin!
Well, now it’s obvious you’ve been blogging for five years because only bloggers who have been blogging that long would require so many rules to combat assiness.
I don’t need a prize because I just started reading you and was really just checking in to see what you had for lunch today. 😉
Yeah! I love blogiversary! Congrats. And thanks for entertaining us for the last 5 years!
“Ass-hattery” has just become my favourite new saying…not sure I can quite carry it off with my English accent though.
HAPPY 5th BLOGIVERSARY DAVE! 🙂
Woo hoooooo! 5 years dude! Congrats! I wish you many more years of blogging bliss! 😛
Happy Blogiversary mate!
Yeah, searching comments doesn’t work for me either. Apparently, you (and everyone else) likes to blog about winter. It’s okay though, I’m a newb to blogging and I never win jack, so I’m just happy to come by and look at the cool cartoons. Happy Blogiversary, Dave! May you have many, many more!
Another round of contests already? It was an insane amount of work (and by that I mean much more than my lazy self would ever do) that you put into the previous year’s contest, so an emphatic “Thanks for all you do, Dave!” in advance.
And happy 5th!
Yeah! I love Blogiversary week!!! I look forward to it all year!!!
5 years! That means it has been 2 years that I have been reading your blog that I accidently came across! Now I have my husband and 5 coworkers waiting for Daves Daily News!
You know… I’m an ass. I meant to also say CONGRATS on reaching five years! so, again, Congrats on making it this far!
Wow—arrrr matey five years is a great accomplishment!
And I second the thought that I don’t want to be anywhere near Avi plundering your booty–although I will watch 😉
Yay! I came in at the beginning of your Blogiversary vs. the end like last year.
Happy B (as in Blog)-Day Dave II!
I can’t believe you had to waste an entire day with official rules. Seriously.
My rules for the contests are such:
Go fuck yourself, m’kay?
You should try that. 😀
Serious congratulations! You are the ‘five golden rings’ of the blogosphere and we all worship at your holy temple of shininess!
Define “enough comments”….. 🙂
Five days of possible prizes!
I´m gonna sit here with beer, pizza and plopp celebrating 🙂
5 years is a very long time. Like someone else said, we should be giving you prizes.
Congrats on your 5th anniversary! I’m glad I stumbled onto your blog late last year… very entertaining on long boring workdays. I look forward to all the goodies you have in store and will try to participate. Thanks for making it so fun for all your readers. 🙂
Congrats for the 5th year of having truly enviable stamina and creativity!
congratulations dave ^__^
happy 5th blogiversary
WOO!!! Blogiversary 5!!!! YEAH!!! WOO!!!!
Dear god in heaven, my comment is obviously going to get lost in the mess of all of these other ones here…….consider it simple enough that I extend my CONGRATULATIONS to you. As a blogger and friend and human being. I think you’re tops!
So how many comments is “Enough”? Maybe I can flood the site all in one day and catch up? hee hee
As so many others have said, Happy 5th.
Cool – looking forward to the contest even if I don’t win anything – last year was fun finding out the answers and remembering things from the past year. I think I’ll have to start commenting with my handle as opposed to my name as Andy matches a lot of other strings in the search – the first hit I tried was about candy 😉
Lets get this thing started!
Oh shit. No one told me there’d be RULES.
5 years…really? Five?! I’m in awe. 🙂
Congratulations on your anniversary!
Joyeux Bloganniversaire, Dave ! 🙂
5 years… wouah !
P.S. I love your contests ! :))))
Happy #5 You really brighten my day.I love to laugh, and your daily blog does it! Thank you for doing what you do.
Happy Blogiversary! I just started reading via Snackie and I’m totally hooked. Congrats on #5!
Happy, happy, happy Blogiversary! *does the happy dance*
ooh! Pirates! Thanks for all you do to brighten our days, Dave.
I’m loving the pirate theme!
Wow, five years? Really?
If I can make it five years at the same blog, I’d totally throw a party.
I’m hoping one of the prizes is a custom DaveToon.
And here’s my question for YOU: how’s your traffic been this week? Much higher than normal?
Happy blogiversary! You’re like the godfather of blogging.