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Linen

Posted on Sunday, October 1st, 2006

Dave!Why the f#@% do they make clothing out of linen? Can somebody tell me this?

Because I bought this really, really expensive shirt that I liked quite a lot. I didn't bother to look at what it was made out of because... well, so long as it's not made from baby kittens, what the f#@% do I care what its made of? So I get it home, wash it, iron it, then decide to wear it... AND IT GETS TOTALLY WRINKLED AFTER ONLY FIVE MINUTES! Yes, FIVE MINUTES! And all I did was walk in it! Not ON it, but IN it. Yet it looks like I wadded it up in a ball, drove over it with my car, then slept in it while hookers danced on my chest.

Well, actually, if all that happened I wouldn't care so much about the wrinkles, but WTF?!?

If linen is this magical fabric that wrinkles without provocation and looks like shit after only five minutes of wear... WHY MAKE CLOTHES OUT OF IT?!? Why? Why? Why?

F#@% it. From now on I'm checking the label to make sure my shirts are made from 100% baby kitten, because I've never seen a wrinkled kitten. Besides, I think this color would look good on me...

Kitten

Anyway... thanks to the kindness of a very generous reader with mad MPEG conversion skilz, I was able to watch the Veronica Mars premiere. It was slightly below-par because they had to spend time introducing new characters and locations... but oh so delicious and satisfying. STILL the best series on television (well, I haven't seen the sweet hotness of Tina Fey in 30 Rock yet, but I feel relatively safe in standing by my statement).

In other television news so far... Studio 60 is predictably good. Heroes is mind-numbingly mediocre. Jericho is suitably boring. The Class is inexplicably bad. Help Me Help You is "kill me now" horrifyingly awful.

The biggest surprise this season? Ugly Betty was shockingly good. What I thought would be a klutzy attempt at comedic relief ended up being a fascinating, thoughtful, multi-layered show with elements of drama and mystery to keep things interesting. By the time they got to Robert Loggia's character being involved in some kind of shady dealings behind the scenes, I was hooked. Vanessa Williams as a back-stabbing psychotic bitch editor is just the icing on the cake. Thank you Selma Hayek!

Rargh.

Here kitty kitty kitty...


Categories: Television 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. nancycle says:

    Save the kitty and let’s staple the hookers to a cotton t-shirt ~ K?

  2. Mrs RW says:

    Here’s the deal about linen: if you can wear linen you must be wealthy or at least comfortably well off. Why? You’ve already discovered what a high-maintenance fabric it is -whatever the garment, it needs to spend its useful life at the dry cleaners (who charge exhorbitant prices) where it looks perennially crisp and gorgeous. It looks great on the wearer, too, for about 5 minutes. Back in the old days wearing linen told people that “hey, I’ve got servants to wash and iron this stuff, so what do I care if it gets wrinkled?” It was a status symbol. You see a lot of linen on celebraties, too, because the message there is “I have so much money I don’t care how I look. Nyah, nyah, you aren’t wrinkled because you can’t afford linen. Hah!”

    The baby kitten thing, while it sounds like a good idea, might be a problem. Cats don’t wrinkle, but they HATE to be washed. So you’d look great but smell BAD…

  3. Avitable says:

    That reminds me of Andy Richter’s puppy coat from his show.

    I can’t believe you gave in and watched VM! I’m hoping you’re also going to watch it on a normal TV Tuesday night, too.

  4. Laurence says:

    So cutie kitten !!!

    Oh linen… One shirt is tolerable. But you can imagine all my colleagues from work wearing two/three piece suit in linen in summer… What can I say ? When I saw all these men with a suit in linen, I said to myself “Great… a pyjamas party at work !”
    Ah la mode chez les hommes !!! It’s sometimes bizarre !!!

  5. Bec says:

    Aw… so cute. And there’s a kitten!
    I saw the VM Mpeg too. Me loved. And the bit with * when * arrives at * door crying. Do you think he * with * roommate?
    Maybe I should not put this in a comment… Now I’ll have to wait ages for episode 2!

  6. Jill says:

    Why do they make clothing out of linen?
    Maybe because people like Angela from Project Runway, who don’t know any better, design the clothes? (Remember the Jet-setter outfit?) :D
    BTW, lame ending to the season… *four* winners?
    Bah.

  7. Dave2 says:

    Nancycle… I think hookers charge extra for stapling.

    Mrs. RW… And if you are NOT rich or NOT a movie star? Then you just get pissed off because you bought a wrinkly shirt!

    Avitable… Like I could resist! LOVES ME THE VERONICA MARS!! Of course I will be re-watching on Tuesday! You can never get enough Veronica Mars!!

    Laurence… A suit out of linen would be a nightmare! You would be wrinkled EVERYWHERE!! Argh!

    Bec… I dunno. If * did, that makes * a suspect then?? Yikes. NOBODY is safe on that show! Look what happened to *!!!

    Jill… I still want Michael to win. Of course, until the end, they’ve all worked under tremendous pressure and short deadlines. With lots of time on their hands, maybe the clothing will be very different? All I know is that so long as Vincent is gone, I’m happy.

  8. Rabbit says:

    What is UP with that kitten’s eyes?! Oh my God, it freaks me out.

  9. Dave2 says:

    The kitten’s eyes are messed up because he’s a minion of satan.

    Or Tony Danza.

  10. ally says:

    ugly betty is shockingly good. i didn’t have high expectations. i ended up flipping between channels to watch this show and another.

    linen is evil. that’s just the truth of it.

  11. Mooselet says:

    That kitten is very cute. Although if wear clothes out of 100% kitten, you may find a lot of people sneezing in your wake.

    Linen shirts totally suck big twinkies.

  12. nancycle says:

    Yes, I suppose an authentic “pussy” shirt would cost more. So much for ethics!

  13. Eve says:

    Ugly Betty was great!!! I liked it the best of the ones you mentioned. I dug Studio 60, I’m guessing because I’ve been a fan of SNL my whole life and the show is an SNL behind-the-scenes thing. I saw the first episode of Jericho and while I thought Skeet was great, I can’t bare the thought of being at the end of the world in ho-ha Kansas, but I’m guessing that they have grand plans for the show (I would hope). I liked Heroes a lot, and I really believe that it will become mindblowing at some point. I haven’t seen the other shows you mentioned, but I’m starting to check out Eureka and so far I like it.

  14. Sasha says:

    I have a pair of linen pants. If I iron them while they’re still a little damp (I also use starch), they don’t wrinkle badly.

  15. delmer says:

    Is it possible the shirt is just too form fitting? You are in your 40s. Wrinkles happen.

    I’m looking forward to seeing Tina Fey’s show as well. Jericho, I decided to not even look at. Ugly Betty was better than I’d hoped — though I didn’t recognize Loggia. The Class, I thought, was sort of mindless but funny.

  16. kilax says:

    I agree with nancycle ;)

  17. Mrs RW says:

    Dave, I’m with you about Michael on Project Runway. He’s the man. Although after looking at the pictures at Getty Images I worry for Michael. I’m ashamed to say I was sort of disappointed in his line.

  18. Kyle I says:

    Dude, is it me or does that kitten have a lazy eye? One eye is watching crows and the other is picking cotten!

  19. sandra says:

    Crap!!!! I totally forgot that I missed the VM premiere. Must now hunt it down…

  20. Leanne says:

    hmm I haven’t been keeping up with your blog in a few weeks and within that time you have changed
    You yielded to the Paris Hiltonish desire to buy something that has no useful purpose after the first 5 min much like herself and now you are going against your beliefs against animal cruelty what happened to my Dave who posted pictures of a cow massacre
    Come back to us please before anymore kittens are hurt

  21. margalit says:

    Two words to solve your linen problem: Spray Starch.

    Get thee to the grocery store or Tarzjay and buy yourself a nice big can of the spray starch. When the shirt is still a bit damp spray it LIBERALLY with spray starch. And I mean soak the damn thing. Then iron it. The starch will prevent most of the teeny wrinkles from happening.

    I love linen and wear it a lot in the summer. It’s cool and comfy and looks much higher class than I actually am.

  22. EDDIE says:

    That’s the beauty of linen. Guaranteed to wrinkle.
    If you can not handle it, try to get wrinkle free treatment.
    (Or polyester!) :-)

  23. MotherReader says:

    Thanks for the laugh. “So long as it’s not made from baby kittens.” Brilliant. Sick, but brilliant.

  24. kapgar says:

    I actually like Heroes so far. Of course we’re only one episode in. The jury’s out on Jericho so far and The Class is only so so. I have no plans to watch Help Me Help You, though. Sorry. I can’t take Ted Danson since Cheers ended. Never really cared much for Becker.

  25. mike says:

    Hey!

    I liked Heroes! Well, up to the part when they said : “Next week, as more Heroes are discovered”. :-(

    I think they’re doing good with the number of characters they have up to now. I hope they don’t mess it up!

    As far as linen/kitten is considered, my favorite shirt materiel is turkey. A friend of mine has this shirt, the tag says “Made in Turkey / Fait en dinde” :-)

    Later,

  26. SJ says:

    I LOVE Jericho! Both episodes actually made me get chill bumps and teary-eyed. I liked “Heroes” but was a bit confused by the end. We’ll see how it develops.

    I just don’t get the appeal of Veronica Mars, though. I’ve tried several times to watch it, and can’t get into it. Must be an acquired-taste thing.

    LOVE the pink. You should keep it like this.

  27. Neil says:

    Sometimes I like to play this little game — can I guess which show will fail just by the title and without ever seeing it? I give you “Help Me Help You” as an example.

  28. Hilly says:

    I love Ugly Betty and I too thought it might be too campy but with Eric Mabius on the show, I was willing to use eye candy as a reason to watch.

    I am giving Heroes and Jericho one more week to woo me; my new “thing” this year was to watch three eps of each new show as pilots sometimes suck while they set up the background.

    “Dexter” on Showtime, however…wow, just wow!

  29. no3ik says:

    linen makes no sense to me either
    i buy it, then end up getting rid of it.
    it looks good on displays only
    not on moving real live humans ;p

  30. Ben says:

    Linen is wonderful, and soon to make up my newest jacket. *sticks fingers in ears*

  31. Kapha says:

    OMG that kitten is so cute it makes me want to buy furniture covered in Ewok prints.

  32. MC says:

    Yes, I too succumbed to the splendor that is Ugly Betty(even after ranting about how America Ferrara wasn’t ugly months ago), and Studio 60 has me hooked.

    Just feel glad you didn’t get involved with the disappointment that is Smith, though I am still recommending Shark, as it is still at the point where you could pick it up.

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