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Slayed

Posted on Tuesday, June 6th, 2006

Dave!I feel so violated! I just rode twenty-seven floors with a couple who were going at it in the elevator. Without sounding like a total prude... ew! Surely they realize that nobody wants to see that? I mean, if I were trapped in the elevator with two lesbian porn stars, maybe... but this dopey guy and his skank-ho girlfriend? No thanks. Some people should be banned from displays of public affection (and, unless you actually ARE a lesbian porn star, this means you).

Tonight's dinner was at one of the best Thai restaurants outside of Thailand... Vong's Thai Kitchen. They have a "Yellow Vegetable Pad Thai" to die for. Succulent, flaky noodles that aren't the least bit gummy! Here is what I got out of my Thai fortune cookie at the end...

Dave is the best!

If you cannot read my drunken photo, it says: "Everyone agrees you are the best". I never really doubted this, but it's nice to have proof in writing.

I woke up with mild pain in my back and only a little tenderness in my leg... so apparently I am going to survive getting run down in the street yesterday. This is a good thing, because it means I don't have to take pills (which I hate, because it makes me sleepy all day). It also meant that I got to bum around the candy expo here in Chicago. It's always a cool event, mainly because I love me the free samples of sugary treats! There were many wonders to behold, but two things stood out for me...

The first is CHOCOLATE PEEPS!! Yes, Peeps are now available cocoa flavored! I like Peeps, even though I can't eat them (marshmallow has gelatin, which is made from gross animal parts I refuse to stick in my mouth)...

Cocoa Peeps

Maybe it's just that I like saying "Peeps" a lot?

Next up was the PEZ booth. PEZ is a candy I love and actually DO eat. The big surprise was that they had the American Chopper guys from Orange County Choppers make them a cool bike...

Pez Chopper

And that's all she wrote. It has been a very long day.

BUT BEFORE I GO... in deference to Mistress Eve on this most auspicious date of 06-06-06, I am hereby recognizing "Day of Slayer" by rocking out to the ever-excellent death-metal classic album South of Heaven on my iPod (yes, I know you are supposed to blast without headphones, but they would most certainly kick me out of the hotel for that!). Slay on my Mistress of Metal!

Dave Slayer

♫ The root of all evil is the heart of a black soul... a force that has lived all eternity! ♫ A never ending search for a truth never told... the loss of all hope and your dignity! ♫


Categories: Food 2006, Music 2006, Travel 2006Click To It: Permalink
   

Comments

  1. Chanakin says:

    When I come across people like that I usually just drop trou and juggle my marbles. Works like a charm.

    (Homer voice) mmmmmmm Thai…

    I think they should market the cocoa Peeps as Poops. They’d sell a shitload of ’em.

    Sick ride! I’ll have to watch for that episode of AC.

    Party on Garth.

  2. SJ says:

    Coolest OC chopper EVER. I want a Mikey Pez dispenser!!!

    Also one of the coolest Davetoons EVER.

    And another suggestion for the Dave Memorial Tower: In the Memorial Gardens, you need to have those cutouts with holes for people to stick their heads in, so all your faithful can have pictures of themselves with Your Daveness. And ToonDave too.

  3. jenny says:

    O.
    M.
    G.

    Chocolate PEEPS!?!?!?
    American Chopper Pez!?!?!?!?

    Do you realize that you are living out my fantasy right now? Next year, you’ve gotta sneak me in! You’ve just gotta! :)

  4. RW says:

    Translation: Vong’s serves a plate of brown peeps and pez called Skank ho and some mulyahk was devouring it on an elevator while Dave was reading his fortune while listening to his iPod.

    I can dig it.

  5. alice says:

    the American Chopper Pez is awesome! i like Peeps, but, only 1 during Halloween. the rest I stage in various mock poses.

    glad you aren’t hurt, hurt from the vehicle mishap. rest will definitely speed up the recovery.

  6. adena says:

    I guess that means no jell-o shots for you.

  7. Mooselet says:

    I normally don’t like Peeps as I just can’t handle sugar coated sugar anymore. But CHOCOLATE Peeps? Oh man, I may have to get someone to send me some of those!

    Love the Pez OCC bike – I really hope it makes it into an episode, cos it’d be fun to watch them build it. I want the Paulie Pez one.

  8. Eve says:

    I am in [on and on, South of] Heaven right now. You, Sir, are the ultimate Centurion on this most glorious of all glorious days. You have brought tears of joy to the Empress of Metal’s eyes with your most excellent Slayer-themed DaveToon.

    Btw, I have that shirt.

    :::slaying on:::

    m/m/

  9. James D. says:

    As a lesbian porn star, I was almost offended, but I found it in my heart to forgive you.

    Slayer! Whoo! Reign in Blood is a tad better than South of Heaven though, if only because its faster.

  10. Yak. Peeps are disgusting! Gelatin is in a lot of products and used to process a lot of other things that are used in products, from gummi bears to ice cream to wine. You just have to learn what sort of gelatin they’ve used. Ew, I just grossed myself out. Bleh

  11. dave says:

    OMG CHOCOLATE PEEPS!!!! … not like you’d be able to taste any chocolate.. more like.. brown sugar covered peeps..

    you might enjoy this site: http://www.peepresearch.org/

  12. I just want to clarify – do both of us have to be porn stars or can one of us just be a regular dyke making out with a lesbian porn star? And no offense but I would much rather be making out with a lesbian exotic dancer cause then I know she’s really flexable – but, hey, since it apparently is your elevator as you weave drunkenly about – I will just take all that up to my room, where I can tape it to send in to the 700 club and my mom – just to see which blows up the loudest.

  13. Laurence says:

    I understand so much what you want to say. There is not more irritating. Imagine, I lived the same situation several times… in a train (a two hours way without the possibility of moving), in a restaurant (a couple were going at it on the table) or in a museum when you are admiring a work of art (and no, the work of art has nothing to do with 2 lesbian pornstars)
    Of course, you’re the best… But, what it means the numbers ? Maybe, you can play them the lotto…
    Oh, chocolate peeps which resembles rabbits… Oh, I would like to take a picture with “Cmonkopin”. It would be so funny…
    What a such a cool bike with candy. it’s so nice…

  14. Kevin says:

    I’m not sure about Cocoa Peeps. I eat Peeps, but something seems inherently wrong with those.

    If I were stuck in that elevator, I would’ve pulled out a pad of paper and started watching them and occasionally looking down at my pad pretending like I’m taking notes. Then, as either you or they exited, hold up a sign saying “3” and just slyly mention that it’s on a ten scale before the door closes.

    If they complain about you watching, that’s your cue to tell them that they shouldn’t be doing it in front of you.

  15. delmer says:

    I’ve always thought that “Hot Lesbian Action” was a redundant phrase (a lot of my spam used to have that subject line.)

    Isn’t “Lesbian Action” hot by definition?

    Well … Rosie O’Donnell … not so much.

  16. Avitable says:

    Chocolate Peeps sound tasty. I respect your decision to not eat any animal parts, but I pity your tastebuds for the party they’ll be missing.

  17. ms. sizzle says:

    in a very bizarre turn of events, this post reminds me of my mother. i know, weird. but the fact that you said “to die for” and talked about peeps in the same post. . .well, my mom is a peep fanatic (i won’t even tell her about the chocolate ones, she’d be too excited) and she says “to die for” all time. “the roast was to die for!” ha ha.

    i love my mom so this is no way an insult to you dear dave. ;)

    you do know that those “lesbians” in lesbian porn are not really lesbians, right? just checking.

  18. Jeff says:

    A PEZ motorcycle? How cool is that!

  19. Allison says:

    Delurking to say, I think the Peep-mobile is cooler than the Pezcycle. I live near the Peep factory and the Peep-mobile is out and about town sometimes. It is a VW Beetle that they made to look like a yellow chick Peep. Gotta love it (and I don’t even eat Peeps)!

  20. Wench says:

    Note to self: become lesbian porn star and make out in elevator to get a mention of Dave’s blog.

    Addendum to note to self: become lesbian first.

  21. Steve says:

    Amen, brother — Vong’s is great. You’ve helped me understand something, too, Dave. I was never sure before I read your post why my fortune cookies always said I was second best.

  22. Jeff says:

    Unrelated, but kind of related since so many of you are Blogger users:

    I’ve been unable to post a comment on any Blogger site all afternoon, including my own. ARRRG!!!

  23. I first read this post via cell phone (no pictures) so my tummy was ready for Cocoa Peeps which in my imagination were kinda like chocodiles-Peeps dipped in chocolate.

    Alas it is not so. *sigh*

  24. Belinda says:

    Somewhere I have a recipe for vegetarian marshmallows, cow-hoof-and-bone-free. Easy, too. I will look.

  25. stephen says:

    That TAI Fortune cookie holds only one good line: YOUR winning lottery numbers.
    Concidental or not: 6 numbers on the 06.06.06 ?

  26. Charred says:

    I can’t believe I’m the only one to mention this, but…

    I was taught a long time ago (I can’t remember who by) that the correct way to read a fortune cookie fortune is to add the words “in bed” to the end, as in:

    “Everyone agrees, you are the best…in bed.”

    The good news just got better, didn’t it?

  27. If only it were April 1st things would make more sense, I mean firing Elizabeth Hurley and now they have Chocolate peeps (gross), it’s like you’re making this stuff up!

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