I cannot abide rudeness.
And I have a very smart mouth.
It's a combination that's gotten me into trouble on several occasions. Usually it's when some dick-head is doing their best to make somebody feel stupid... or embarrass somebody... or just being a jack-ass for no good reason. And when I see this type of moronic behavior, I just can't help myself. I am compelled to say something.
Like this morning, for instance.
I was at a mini-mart to pick up a bottle of "Coke with Lime", and ended up stuck behind some dick-head and his three chuckle-head friends. The girl at the check-out counter was visibly nervous and unsure of herself as she tried to count out his change. Naturally, the dick-head used this as an opportunity to be a total douche. And apparently being a total douche is all that's required to amuse his posse...
Dick-head: Huh huh huh. I can see how counting to twelve would make this job a real challenge.
Dick-head's Friends: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Dave: You'd think so, but putting up with rude customers is where the real challenge is at.
Dick Customer: Uhhhhhhh... Shut up.
Great comeback. I'd kill to be so witty.
The idiot stormed out, but he was still getting in his car when I exited, and decided to shout at me across the parking lot...
Dick-head: It was just a joke, dude. Lighten up.
Dave: A joke's not very funny if you have to humiliate an innocent girl to get a laugh.
Dick Customer: Uhhhhhhh... you're an a$$hole!
Witty AND charming!
You can just tell that this bum-wipe is "the funny one" in his little group, and simply cannot handle the fact that somebody doesn't find him totally hilarious. Well, reality is a bitch, and you aren't funny. You're just mean.
It only now occurs to me that had things gone even a little differently, they could have totally beat the crap out of me. Luckily, they were all in a hurry to get back to doing whatever four guys do with each other at 1:30 in the afternoon.
CHAPTER 9: Holly Jolly Christ-mess.
LEGO ADVENT CALENDAR TOY OF THE DAY: Construction Worker with Jackhammer.
Lego Dave and Barky the Dog have been caught in an exploding jewelry store with the evil Lego Buzz...
Acrid smoke fills the air. Small fires litter the rubble of a once proud building. Somewhere in the ruins, the muffled sounds of a dog barking can barely be heard. A construction worker carrying a jackhammer appears...
"Hello?" the construction worker yells. "Was anybody in there?"
"Bark! Bark!" cries a dog from under splintered wood, bricks, and mortar.
"Hold on there dog!" the construction worker shouts. "I'll get you out!"
Using his jackhammer and a decade of skill, the lone construction worker starts his rescue. In a few minutes, the construction worker has cleared away enough rubble to uncover Lego Dave and his faithful companion, Barky the Dog...
"Hey, thanks mister!" Lego Dave says gratefully.
"Bark! Bark!" agrees Barky the Dog.
Our heroes are saved and all is well! At least until evil Lego Buzz crawls out of the wreckage, his rotary saw thrashing through the air menacingly.
"You didn't think a little explosion was going to stop ME did you?" Lego Buzz screeches, his face twisted in anger. "NOW YOU ALL DIIIIIIEEEE!!"
Will Lego Buzz have his revenge?
FIND OUT TOMORROW WHEN DAVE'S "A VERY LEGO HOLIDAY TALE" CONTINUES!