So there I was, minding my own business as I was walking to the mini-mart, when the woman walking ahead of me unknowingly dropped her vagina on the sidewalk.
This was surprising for a number of reasons... foremost of which was her wearing a mini-skirt in the middle of winter. Granted, the weather has been getting warmer lately, but it's still cold enough that there's snow on the ground. This made the whole mini-skirt thing pretty bizarre. Though, in the woman's defense, she was wearing boots and a jacket.
Neither of which were providing warmth to her crotch, which is why her vagina apparently froze and fell off...
I was going to run up and tell her what happened, but I was too embarrassed.
Instead I carefully nudged it to the edge of the sidewalk with my foot so nobody would step in it. I figured eventually she's realize that something important had gone missing, then she'd retrace her steps to find her vagina there waiting for her.
A little colder, but no worse for wear.
I MEAN, SERIOUSLY! A MINI-SKIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER?!?
Though I suppose it could have been her work uniform. Maybe she's required to wear a mini-skirt as part of the dress code.
I wonder what kind of profession requires a mini-skirt dress code?
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So you didn’t take it home and play with it a little? What a shame.
GAH! I don’t think it’s a very good idea to play with some strange vagina you found on the sidewalk! there’s no telling where it’s been!
that’s why you wear a condom
* SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORTTTT *
Thanks, now you’ve made me snort out my perfectly good English cuppatea!
I don’t even wear a miniskirt in the house! (Well, not Lady Penelope’s house anyway, it’s fucking freezing in here e.v.e.r.y. time)
That was rude of you. Every city has a Municipal Vaginal Lost & Found, and you should have taken it there.
When I worked as an HR manager (I don’t recommend it) there was one employee who just wanted to dress like a skank. (I never used those words, of course.) First I had to warn her about her BO, which left a foul aftertaste when she passed through a room. Onions or something a little too organic. She caused the office to come to a stand still when she announced she had stained her chair with her monthly period. ( This actually happened twice.) By her third month, she was commanding a lot of attention with her get-ups. Every day, she would push the limit a bit further. A top a little lower, the skirt a little bit higher until it looked like she was coming from a pole dancing competition- and the pole had won. Even she had to tie a sweater around her miniskirt one day because it was too high and crossing her legs became impossible or rather, pornographic. Unfortunately for me, my boss loved her and told her to ignore my warnings. Lovely.
Hookers and skanks both need miniskirts all year ’round.
Other than that, I have no clue.
It probably just layed there with the rest of the crap on sidewalks — wheel covers, cigarette butts, chewed gum…oh, and a vagina too.
A simple “Excuse me, Miss…you dropped your kitty” would have worked.
Meow.
I hope you nudged it up on the grass so it felt more at home in a bushy area.
Mini skirts work during the winter, mostly inside a dance club or bar. Maybe she was going from her car to a dance club. Of course, if the night is good for her, she’ll need to go back to get her vagina for later on.
Whores. Whores wear mini skirts in winter. All year round, actually.
Guess all the inappropriately clad dudes stick to the East coast. Seriously, this winter I’ve seen so many guys in SHORTS & t-shirts… maybe a hoodie, but certainly no jacket, when it was 30 degrees out tops, often much colder & windier. Effin’ crazy!
I don’t understand people who wear miniskirts and shorts in winter. It’s freaking cold.
Hooters waitstaff? They have to wear skimpy clothes.
Or, she could have just been on the prowl for fresh meat.
Either way, having one’s vag freeze off is a terrible thing.
There should be some sort of telethon.
Maybe she had an accident and lost the other half of her skirt?
Yeah. Not likely.
I love it when you see a girl (anytime of year) wearing a miniskirt that is so short things start winking at you.