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Exploding Heads of Your Average Telemarketer

Posted on Monday, July 28th, 2025

Dave!So there I am petting Jenny, my skittish orange cat, when my phone rings. Because of my job, I can't turn my phone off or set it to only ring for known callers, because I can have people calling from anywhere at any time. And I have to answer.

And so I do.

After Jenny gets scared by the ringing and goes running upstairs.

"Hi! This is Nicole from Enterprise Financial Services. We are showing that you pay your credit cards on time, but you still have $7,000 in balances, is this correct?"

"No. It's not correct. I have $0 in credit card debt."

"Sorry for wasting your time."

At which point she hangs up on me.

The mutherfucker.

Outright LYING to people over their finances is about as low as it gets. Fuck you. Making it sound like you're some official calling about a person's credit cards like there's a problem when you're just another fucking scammer asshole credit card consolidation company trying to drum up business by throwing out some random number and hoping it hits.

This scammer piece of shit should consider herself very, very lucky that I don't have the ability to make people's heads explode over the phone.

VERY.

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