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Caturday 189

Posted on December 12th, 2020

Dave!For whatever reason, my cats have started getting all anxious and agitated when the Alexa alarm goes off for their feeding. This morning Jake was wandering around in circles... Jenny was fretting and pacing... then Jake started squawking as I was dishing up breakfast which encouraged Jenny to start making those nervous meows she makes when she's frustrated.

Other than that? The cats have been pretty chill. Mostly because they have warming pads to sleep on...

Jenny sleeeping with her back foot in her face.

Or stealing my heating pad...

Jake rolling around on a heating pad.

Jake rolling around on a heating pad.

How cats manage to sleep in the positions they get into is a mystery.

I was wrapping up some presents last night so I can get them sent out, only to have Jake drag Mufasa onto the table and lay across the wrapping paper box. I can only guess he was trying to help, but all he did was put off the task fifteen minutes while I waited for him to get out of the way...

Jake laying on the wrapping paper box.

Which he did... when he joined Jenny on the cat tree to watch television...

JJake and Jenn in the cat tree.

Mufasa was left behind. Which means Jake will be walking around crying while looking for his favorite toy because he always forgets where he had it last.

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Caturday 188

Posted on December 5th, 2020

Dave!Jake and Jenny have been spending more and more of their day sleeping. I guess Winter isn't very exciting time for a cat, so this is their coping mechanism. Not that I can blame them. Thanks to COVID lockdown, all I want to do is sleep the days away as well.

On Thursday I had the plumber come and rip open the kitchen ceiling to repair a pipe leak. The cats hid upstairs in my storage closet, as they always do when strangers invade the house. Once the repairs were complete, I called up to let them know that they could come back downstairs. It's amazing how they are able to understand me and immediately come running downstairs every time...

Jake and Jenny running down the stairs.

Not that they 100% trusted me. They had to go sniffing around everywhere to make sure the intruder was really gone.

Early in the week I was startled when BOTH cats ran out to the catio after one of them was in the Litter-Robot. I knew that the impending smell must be extraordinarily bad. But once it reached me and I was gagging and feeling my eyes tear up, I had to go to the video feed so I could find out which one of them was responsible so I could check to make sure that they hadn't blown their asshole out. Turns out it was BOTH of them! They BOTH took a dump at the same time!

Jake and Jenny sitting in the Litter-Robots

I don't know that this has ever happened before! I was worried that my home would probably have to be fumigated... or possibly burned down... because it was just that bad. Fortunately the Litter-Robots cycled and got things under control.

And then...

There I was... working away at the office... when I get a PERSON ALERT! on my iPhone. I ignore it because sometimes my cats register as a person to the security system. Then, ten minutes later, PERSON ALERT! — Now I'm really freaking out because I've been convinced that there is, in fact, a person in my home. NOPE!

Jake on the kitchen counters.

Jenny on the kitchen counters.

I guess it was my fault for leaving the kitchen blinds open and having a stepladder staircase left out for them. And I had JUST disinfected the countertops the night before! I had to steam them and scrub them clean AGAIN that night. Blergh. I wonder how come Jake and Jenny never seem to realize that I don't have time for these shenanigans?

And now I guess I had better get back to work. But quietly so I don't interrupt my cats' busy day of sleeping.

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Caturday 187

Posted on November 28th, 2020

Dave!Jenny has now 100% embraced her power over me, and she's getting better at manipulating me every day. She knows that all she has to do is meow and I'm going to do whatever she is wants. Give you a treat? Okay. Get your ball from under the couch? Okay. Rub your belly? Okay.

Jenny getting a belly rub.

Here she is after she meowed at me to come fix her bed. The pad inside was flipped up and she wanted it put back down...

Jenny getting a belly rub.

As I think I've mentioned, I don't trim my cats' claws. They don't really scratch anything up and are perfectly capable of maintaining their claws themselves...

Jake giving himself a pedicure.

Though every once in a while Jake really gets aggressive about it, and that makes me wonder if maybe I should face certain death by attempting to use clippers on them...

Jake giving himself a pedicure.

As the weather gets colder and colder I am more and more happy that I bought some warming pads to keep Jake and Jenny comfy. They sure do love them.

"You know, there are two of them, guys. You don't have to share."

Jake and Jenny on a single warming mat.

"I SAID THAT YOU EACH HAVE ONE SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHARE!"

Jake and Jenny looking up at me in shock.

They've spent ten minutes waiting for the other one to move. Eventually the dinner alarm rang and they left at the same time.

Jake and Jenny looking up at me in shock.

I guess that the only thing cats love more than warmth is food.

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Caturday 186

Posted on November 21st, 2020

Dave!Lockdown isn't boring when you have cats!

This morning while I was getting out of the shower I heard a "whomp! whomp! whomp!" I was pretty sure that it wasn't ghosts, so the only explanation was that Jake or Jenny had found something new to entertain themselves. As I was getting dressed, I heard it again... "whomp! whomp! whomp!" When I ran out into the hallway and didn't see anything, I looked down the stairwell and saw this...

Looking down at Jenny who is looking up at me from the stairwell.

Well, obvious that innocent little face wasn't capable of getting into any trouble, so I was at a loss to explain what happened. Until I was walking downstairs and noticed this...

A crooked photo on the wall below the stairwell wall.

Apparently Jenny is back to redecorating.

And speaking of Jenny...

If you've ever wondered the look you get when you administer butt scratches wrong, this would be it...

Jenny scowling at me.

Fortunately I seemed to be able to do belly rubs correctly...

Jenny scowling at me.

That's better!

Jenny scowling at me.

Now I guess I should go straighten all the posters in my stairwell and see how long they stay that way.

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Caturday 185

Posted on November 14th, 2020

Dave!What a day, right?

This evening at 5:10pm, Jenny came running in like she heard the Alexa alarm go off for dinner. I was forced to explain that no, Jenny, you're just being silly... there's 50 minutes until it's dinner time. This was her reaction...

Jenny stares, mouth agape.

Jenny stares, mouth agape.

And then I got this for the next 15 minutes until she got bored and took a before-dinner nap...

Jenny sits on the cat lounger judging me.

Not that Jake gets a pass. This was him on Friday morning waiting impatiently for breakfast...

Jake at the end of my bed staring at me.

Jake at the end of my bed staring at me.

Jake at the end of my bed staring at me.

Eventually Jake ran out of the room... but don't worry, he was waiting in his box downstairs for me as usual...

Jake sitting in his box at the bottom of the stairs.

And right now? I just want to put my feet up. But alas...

Jake sitting in his box at the bottom of the stairs.

Such is my life with cats.

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Caturday 184

Posted on November 7th, 2020

Dave!Every Caturday I set aside time to make sure my cats are being well cared for by cleaning everything they come into contact with. I steam-clean their feeding station... take apart and clean their water fountain... make sure their Litter-Robot litter boxes are clean... inspect all their favorite sleeping spots and clean anything that needs it... take a quick look at their toys to make sure that they are all safe and not falling apart... that kind of thing. I'm pretty religious about it all because I know if I depended on somebody for all that stuff that I'd want a clean place to eat, go to the bathroom, sleep, and play.

The one thing I have not yet found a way to clean is the covers on their heated pads. They both love the things and are on them all the time. I've tried washing them in the washing machine, but cat hair and stuff stick to them like glue. I guess at some point I'm going to have to sew replacements that are easier to maintain.

In other heating pad news... they both seem to want to have their rear foot in their face while sleeping on them. I noticed this early in the week and keep seeing it...

Jake sleeping on his heating pad with his foot in his face.

Jenny sleeping on her heating pad with her foot in his face.

Oh well. Whatever keeps them happy.

I've been keeping a close eye on Fake Jake every night to make sure he's made it to the warming pad in the shelter I set up for him. But sometimes he keeps an eye on me. Or at least comes over for a playdate with Real Jake...

Jake looking out the screen door of the catio at Fake Jake who's there looking inside.

Jake has kinda-sorta adapted to the end of Daylight Saving Time. Or, even if he hasn't, he at least stopped complaining. Jenny on the other hand? Holy crap. Not even a little bit. When 5:00pm rolls around she is ready to eat because to her it's 6:00pm and dinner time, even though I've been easing them into the time change 15 minutes at a time. And when the alarm doesn't sound for food? SO SALTY! She is mad, mad, mad. She just scrunches up into a little anger ball on her heating pad and glares at me...

Jenny glaring at me with the red-hot intensity of a thousand suns.

Make no mistake... she is the sweetest cat ever... but she hates the whole dicking-with-the-clocks thing more than even I do, and I didn't think that was even possible.

I sure wish that belly rubs would distract her from things as easily as it does Jake...

Jake getting yet another belly rub.

Oh well. So thrilled to think that I get to do it all over again in six months.

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Caturday 183

Posted on October 31st, 2020

Dave!Happy Halloween!

Such as it is.

I bought Halloween candy thinking that I might devise some way of passing it out without the possibility of coming into contact with The COVID. But nope. In the nearly-five-years I've been living in my home, I've never drawn the blinds. I didn't even know if they would work...

My blinds are drawn.

On top of that, I had removed the blinds in the cat-tree window so the kitties wouldn't get tangled up in it, so I had to board it up. It's like living in a cave now. Doorbell disconnected. Porch lights off. My cats are not happy...

Jake on the cat tree howling at the boarded up window.

Though they would probably have been even more unhappy with the doorbell ringing and kids screaming "TRICK-OR-TREAT!, so I guess it's one of those six of one, half a dozen of the other situations.

Last week the movie version of Cats landed on HBO Max. It's just as horrific as I was lead to believe and there was just no way I could deal with it all. But then, jussssssst as I was grabbing the remote control, Jenny was suddenly invested...

Jenny watching the travesty of humanized cats.

Luckly, she only lasted about ten minutes, but still... that's something that will haunt my nightmares.

The good news is that I won't be having nightmares all alone. My cats are still all over my electric blanket from the minute I go to bed to the minute I wake up...

Jenny getting chin scratches in bed.

Jake looking cute while getting petted in bed.

Jake getting back scratches in bed.

Jake licking his butt in bed.

Jake laying down and looking adorable.

And now I suppose I'll have to deal with two rather upset cats. I explained that they could go out to the catio if they wanted to see outside, but they don't seem to be listening to me. What else is new?

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Caturday 182

Posted on October 24th, 2020

Dave!Thanks to a combination of quarantine and cold weather, I'm spending a lot of time with my cats. They mostly sleep, which is fine. The problem is that they want to sleep on the heating pad that I use for my feet.

I'll get up to take a load of clothes out of the dryer or grab a snack, and they're all over it, which I talked about last Caturday...

Jenny laying on my heating pad.

In order to get my heating pad back, I bought Jake and Jenny pads of their own. I was even nice enough to spend extra for a large-sized model made specifically for pets. It took them all of two seconds to completely own them. Jenny claimed the one next to me, mostly, and Jake took the one in the loveseat...

Jenny laying on her heating pad while Jake peeks up from his heating pad.

Jenny and Jake asleep on their heating pads.

They sleep there almost all the time now...

Jenny laying on her heating pad.

Jenny sleeping on her heating pad.

Except... they still want my heating pad too! Here's Jake being all irritated that my feet are in the way of my heating pad...

Jake looking very irritated because my feet are in his way.

After he keeps nudging and pushing, I eventually give in...

Jake has stolen my heating pad.

So I switch to Jenny's heating pad, and... you guessed it...

Jake sleeping on Jenny's heating pad while my feet are trapped underneath.

My feet were trapped for nearly 3 hours.

About the only thing which gets my cats off their heating pads is when a fly that's looking for warmth manages to get inside the house. That gets their attention real quick...

Jenny on high alert because she spots a fly.

Flies remain the best cat toy ever.

If it wouldn't freak me out more than it ever would my cats, I'd just leave the door open and let the flies in so my cats would be entertained.

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Caturday 181

Posted on October 17th, 2020

Dave!Each year I try to hold off turning on the heat for as long as possible. Most years I get a couple weeks to a month. This year I got a day. But I have the heat low enough that it's still a bit chilly in the mornings when walking on the floors. To combat my feet getting cold, I wear socks and put them under a heating pad while I work or watch television.

When I can, that is.

If I get up to get a load of clothes out of the washer... or go grab a snack... or any reason at all... my cats will spring into action. And most of the time they immediately fall asleep so that they're too cute to kick off of the heating pad...

Jake Laying on my Heat Pad.

Jake Asleep on my Heat Pad.

Jenny Sitting on my Heat Pad.

Jenny Asleep on my Heat Pad.

Jenny Giving Herself a Bath on my Heat Pad.

In other news...

After spilling crumbs all over the floor, Jake got his head stuck in a Cheetos bag. Again. First he was shocked and just kinda sat there being all "Well. This isn't all I had hoped for"...

Jake with a Cheeto bag stuck on his head.

After taking this photo I went to take it off his head. Just as my hand touched it... BEDLAM. I then had to chase him around the living room as he crashed into everything. After the bag was finally off, he was just pissed... AT ME!

I'm having better luck with Fake Jake. I started dropping food down when he's around so as to distract him from running in my house while taking out the trash and stuff. Problem is that now he comes running every single time he hears my door open so he can extort food from me. Except when he came running this last time, he was too distracted to eat because he spotted a grey cat across the street...

Fake Jake looking past the plate of food in front of him.

This resulted in a fight. Not a real fight, but a play fight...

Fake Jake play-fighting.

After which the grey cat came back to eat while Fake Jake stood guard...

Fake Jake looking past the plate of food in front of him.

Fake Jake looking past the plate of food in front of him.

When I mentioned this to a neighbor, she told me that she thought that they were related somehow. Brothers maybe.

I wouldn't know.

All I do know is that now I'll likely have two cats extorting food out of me instead of just one.

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Caturday 180

Posted on October 10th, 2020

Dave!As Summer turns into Fall and bugs start trying to find a way inside to escape the cold, Jake and Jenny are going full-out bonkers. Bugs are like Pokémon to them, and they are compelled to Gotta Catch 'Em All.

The madness was on full display when Jenny started chasing a fly that found its way inside. She was happily batting it in the window... chasing it to another window... and generally having a good ol' time.

But then Jake came running in and things escalated to 11 in a real hurry. He was in Beast Mode and Jenny was having none of it. She ended up hiding from his mad dashes inside the cat scratcher lounger...

Jenny hiding in the cat scratcher lounger.

Jenny hiding in the cat scratcher lounger.

Poor thing. It was her fly first!

Speaking of Jake...

Used to be that Jenny was the one who would come up meowing when she was demanding to be petted. Now Jake is getting in on the action. He can't meow, but he can squawk. Earlier this week he hopped up on the bed, flopped on his back, then squawked until he got belly scratches...

Jake on his back expecting belly scratches.

Jake on his back GETTING belly scratches.

Ahhhh... that's the stuff.

After he was done, he wandered off content.

FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES!

Then he was back to take a nap...

Jake on his back sleeping.

And, yes, this is his default sleeping position now.

If only I could lay around in bed all day like this. Must be nice.

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